can lifers get conjugal visits

Conjugal Visits For Lifers In California Prisons

Conjugal visits is a controversial topic that raises a lot of questions for many people. If you’re short on time, here’s a quick answer: California banned conjugal visits for lifers and all other inmates in 2003.

In this comprehensive guide, we will explore the history of conjugal visits in California prisons, the regulations around them, arguments for and against allowing them, stats and data on their usage, and the ultimate decision to ban them in 2003 under Governor Schwarzenegger.

We will provide details on how conjugal visits worked when they were allowed, the types of inmates who qualified, what exactly happened during the visits, their purpose and perceived benefits vs. drawbacks. We’ll also look at whether there’s any chance of reinstating conjugal visits in CA prisons today.

History of Conjugal Visits in California Prisons

Conjugal visits, also known as family visits, have a long history in the California prison system. These visits allow incarcerated individuals to spend private, extended time with their spouses or registered domestic partners.

Let’s take a look at how conjugal visits came to be, how they worked, and which prisons allowed them.

When Conjugal Visits Started and Why

Conjugal visits were first introduced in California in 1918 as an effort to maintain familial ties and promote positive behavior among prisoners. The idea was that allowing inmates to maintain healthy relationships with their partners could potentially reduce recidivism rates.

Over the years, conjugal visits became an important aspect of the rehabilitation process for long-term incarcerated individuals.

How They Worked – Requirements and Regulations

To qualify for conjugal visits, inmates had to meet certain criteria. They were typically reserved for inmates who had demonstrated good behavior, were not convicted of certain violent offenses, and had a stable relationship with their partner.

During these visits, couples were granted privacy in designated areas within the prison, such as conjugal cottages or trailers.

According to the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation (CDCR), the goal of conjugal visits is to “assist inmates in maintaining healthy family relationships, reduce the potential for domestic violence and the risk factors leading to child abuse, and reduce the likelihood of recidivism.

Which Prisons Allowed Them and For Which Inmates

Conjugal visits were not available in all California prisons. Only select facilities offered this privilege, including San Quentin State Prison, California State Prison-Solano, and the California Institution for Women. Additionally, not all inmates were eligible for conjugal visits.

Typically, these visits were reserved for those serving long-term sentences, such as lifers or individuals with sentences of 10 years or more.

Conjugal Cottages/Trailers for Private Family Visits

To provide a comfortable and private space for conjugal visits, the California prison system established conjugal cottages or trailers within the prison grounds. These accommodations were equipped with basic amenities, such as a bed, bathroom, and kitchenette, allowing couples to spend quality time together during their visit.

The CDCR ensured that these living spaces were clean, safe, and maintained the security of the facility.

For more information about the history and regulations surrounding conjugal visits in California prisons, visit the official CDCR website: https://www.cdcr.ca.gov/

Debates Around Conjugal Visits in Prisons

Conjugal visits, also known as family visits, have been a topic of debate in the prison system for many years. This practice allows inmates to spend time with their spouses or domestic partners in a private setting within the correctional facility.

Proponents argue that conjugal visits can have positive effects on the mental health and rehabilitation of prisoners, while opponents question the fairness and safety of such privileges.

Arguments in Favor of Conjugal Visits

Supporters of conjugal visits believe that maintaining family ties is crucial for an inmate’s successful reintegration into society. These visits provide a sense of normalcy and help to preserve the familial bond.

Research has shown that strong family connections can reduce recidivism rates, as prisoners are more likely to have a support system upon their release. Additionally, conjugal visits can promote healthy relationships and reduce the likelihood of infidelity.

Advocates also argue that conjugal visits have psychological benefits for both the inmate and their partner. These visits allow for physical intimacy, which is an essential part of any romantic relationship.

They provide a space for emotional connection and can alleviate feelings of isolation and loneliness experienced by inmates. Furthermore, proponents claim that the opportunity to have intimate contact with loved ones can help to reduce tension and aggression within the prison population.

Arguments Against Allowing Conjugal Visits

Opponents of conjugal visits raise concerns about the safety and security risks associated with this practice. They argue that allowing inmates to have private time with their partners can create opportunities for smuggling contraband, such as drugs or weapons, into the correctional facility.

Additionally, there is a fear that prisoners may use these visits to intimidate or harm their partners or manipulate them for personal gain.

Another argument against conjugal visits is the issue of fairness. Critics contend that not all prisoners have the privilege of participating in conjugal visits, as eligibility criteria vary across different states and facilities.

This raises questions about the equal treatment of inmates and can lead to feelings of resentment and unrest within the prison population.

Recidivism Rates – Do They Lower Reoffending?

The impact of conjugal visits on recidivism rates has been a topic of much debate. While some studies suggest that maintaining strong family ties through conjugal visits can lower reoffending rates, others argue that the effect is negligible.

It is important to note that recidivism is influenced by various factors, including access to employment, education, and support services, in addition to family connections. Therefore, conjugal visits alone may not be the sole determining factor in reducing reoffending.

For more information on this topic, you can visit the Bureau of Justice Statistics or the National Criminal Justice Reference Service .

The End of Conjugal Visits in California

Conjugal visits, also known as family visits, were once a part of the prison system in California. However, these visits have been banned since 1996. The decision to ban conjugal visits was made due to a variety of reasons, including concerns over safety, security, and the potential for illegal activities to take place during these visits.

When and Why They Were Banned

The ban on conjugal visits in California prisons was implemented in 1996. The main reason behind this decision was the increasing concerns over the safety and security of the prison system. It was believed that allowing inmates to have intimate visits with their partners or spouses could lead to various problems, such as the smuggling of contraband or the facilitation of illegal activities.

Additionally, there were concerns about the potential for violence or sexual assault during these visits. The prison authorities wanted to ensure the safety of both the inmates and their visitors, and believed that banning conjugal visits would help achieve this goal.

Stats on Usage Rates in the Years Before 2003

Before the ban was implemented, conjugal visits were a relatively common occurrence in California prisons. According to statistics from the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, in the year 2000, there were approximately 20,000 conjugal visits that took place in the state’s prison system.

This number gradually decreased in the following years, with around 13,000 visits in 2001 and 10,000 visits in 2002.

These statistics indicate that conjugal visits were quite popular among inmates and their families prior to the ban. However, it is important to note that these numbers only represent the visits that were officially recorded, and the actual usage rates may have been higher.

Reactions to the Ban from Prisoners, Families, Unions

The ban on conjugal visits in California prisons was met with mixed reactions from prisoners, their families, and unions representing prison staff. Some prisoners and their families were disappointed by the decision, as conjugal visits provided an opportunity for inmates to maintain a connection with their loved ones and work towards rebuilding their relationships.

On the other hand, some prison staff unions supported the ban, citing concerns over safety and security. They argued that allowing intimate visits could compromise the overall safety of the prison environment and put both staff and inmates at risk.

Possibility of Bringing Back Conjugal Visits Today

Efforts to reinstate conjugal visits.

Conjugal visits, also known as family visits, have been a topic of debate in the prison system for decades. These visits allow inmates to spend private time with their spouses or domestic partners in a designated area within the prison.

While the practice was once common in many states, including California, it has gradually been phased out in recent years.

Despite the decline in conjugal visits, there have been efforts to reinstate them in California prisons. Advocates argue that conjugal visits can have positive effects on the mental health and rehabilitation of inmates.

They believe that maintaining a connection with loved ones can provide motivation for prisoners to behave well and work towards their release.

Some studies have indicated that conjugal visits can reduce recidivism rates by strengthening family bonds and promoting successful reintegration into society. These findings have fueled the push to bring back conjugal visits in California.

Furthermore, proponents of conjugal visits argue that they can provide a healthy outlet for sexual expression within the confines of the prison. They believe that allowing inmates to engage in consensual sexual activity with their partners can contribute to a more stable and harmonious prison environment.

Why It’s Unlikely to Happen Anytime Soon

Despite the arguments in favor of conjugal visits, it is unlikely that they will be reinstated in California prisons anytime soon. Several factors contribute to this outcome.

Firstly, the cost of implementing and maintaining conjugal visit programs is a significant barrier. Prisons already face budget constraints, and allocating resources for conjugal visits may not be seen as a priority.

Secondly, concerns around security and safety play a crucial role in the decision-making process. Critics argue that allowing private contact between inmates and their partners can create opportunities for smuggling contraband or engaging in illicit activities.

These concerns outweigh the potential benefits for many prison officials.

Additionally, public opinion and political will also influence the possibility of bringing back conjugal visits. The perception that inmates are being rewarded with intimate visits while serving their sentences can be a source of controversy and backlash.

In summary, conjugal visits for lifers and all inmates were once allowed in California prisons starting in the 1960s. They were seen as a way to help inmates maintain family ties and provide incentives for good behavior. However, they were controversial and banned in 2003 due to costs, concerns over security and appropriate use of taxpayer dollars. The debates around conjugal visits continue today, but there seems little chance California will reinstate them given the current political climate.

Hi there, I'm Jessica, the solo traveler behind the travel blog Eye & Pen. I launched my site in 2020 to share over a decade of adventurous stories and vivid photography from my expeditions across 30+ countries. When I'm not wandering, you can find me freelance writing from my home base in Denver, hiking Colorado's peaks with my rescue pup Belle, or enjoying local craft beers with friends.

I specialize in budget tips, unique lodging spotlights, road trip routes, travel hacking guides, and female solo travel for publications like Travel+Leisure and Matador Network. Through my photography and writing, I hope to immerse readers in new cultures and compelling destinations not found in most guidebooks. I'd love for you to join me on my lifelong journey of visual storytelling!

Geckos In Las Vegas: Everything You Need To Know

If you’ve ever visited Las Vegas, you may have noticed small lizards crawling on the walls of hotels or scurrying across the sidewalk. These little creatures are geckos, which are found in abundance throughout the desert city. If you’re short on time, here’s a quick answer to your question: Las Vegas is home to several…

How Long Is Law School In Texas?

Deciding to go to law school is a big commitment. Before taking the plunge, it’s important to understand exactly what you’re signing up for and how long you can expect to be in school. If you’re short on time, here’s a quick answer to your question: Law school in Texas typically takes 3 years to…

Is Houston A Coastal City? Examining Houston’S Geography And Relationship To The Gulf

As the largest city in Texas and a major economic hub, Houston is well-known across America. But is it actually a coastal city on the Gulf of Mexico? With no beaches in Houston proper, it may seem landlocked. However, in this comprehensive article we’ll analyze Houston’s geography, landscape, and ties to the Gulf Coast to…

New York Vs. Philadelphia: A Detailed Comparison Of The Cities

New York and Philadelphia are two of the largest and most iconic cities on the East Coast. Located less than 100 miles apart, they share some similarities but also have distinct differences that give each city its own unique vibe and appeal. If you’re short on time, here’s a quick comparison: New York is bigger…

Is Panhandling Illegal In Texas? An In-Depth Look At State Laws

Panhandling, also known as begging, is a complex and controversial issue across the United States. If you want a quick answer for Texas laws: panhandling is legal throughout most of the state, with restrictions on where and how you can ask for money. This comprehensive guide will examine panhandling laws in Texas in detail. We’ll…

Can You Have A Pet Alligator In Florida?

Alligators tend to conjure up visions of the wild swamps and bayous of Florida, so it’s natural to wonder if you can actually keep one of these large reptiles as a pet in the Sunshine State. If you’re short on time, here’s a quick answer to your question: Yes, it is legal to own an…

How Do Conjugal Visits Work?

Maintaining close ties with loved ones while doing time can increase the chances of a successful reentry program. Although several studies back this conclusion, it’s widely logical.

While the conjugal visits concept sounds commendable, there’s an increasing call to scrap the scheme, particularly across US states. This campaign has frustrated many states out of the program, leaving only a handful. Back in 1993, 17 US states recognized conjugal visits. Today, in 2020, only four do.

The conjugal visit was first practiced in Mississippi. The state, then, brought in prostitutes for inmates. The program continued until 2014. The scrap provoked massive protests from different right groups and prisoners’ families. The protesters sought a continuance of the program, which they said had so far helped sustain family bonds and inmate’s general attitude to life-after-jail.

New Mexico, the last to scrap the concept, did so after a convicted murderer impregnated four different women in prison. If these visits look as cool as many theories postulate, why the anti-conjugal-visit campaigns in countries like the US?

This article provides an in-depth guide on how conjugal visits work, states that allow conjugal visits, its historical background, arguments for and against the scheme, and what a conjugal visit entails in reality.

What Is a Conjugal Visit?

A conjugal visit is a popular practice that allows inmates to spend time alone with their loved one(s), particularly a significant other, while incarcerated. By implication, and candidly, conjugal visits afford prisoners an opportunity to, among other things, engage their significant other sexually.

However, in actual content, such visits go beyond just sex. Most eligible prisoners do not even consider intimacy during such visits. In many cases, it’s all about ‘hosting’ family members and sustaining family bonds while they serve time. In fact, in some jurisdictions, New York, for example, spouses are not involved in more than half of such visits. But how did it all start?

History of Conjugal Visits

Conjugal visits origin dates back to the early 20 th century, in the then Parchman Farm – presently, Mississippi State Penitentiary. Back then, ‘qualified’ male prisoners were allowed to enjoy intimacy with prostitutes, primarily as a reward for hard work.

While underperforming prisoners were beaten, the well-behaved were rewarded in different forms, including a sex worker’s company. On their off-days, Sunday, a vehicle-load of women were brought into the facility and offered to the best behaved. The policy was soon reviewed, substituting prostitutes for inmates’ wives or girlfriends, as they wished.

The handwork-for-sex concept recorded tremendous success, and over time, about a quarter of the entire US states had introduced the practice. In no time, many other countries copied the initiative for their prisons.

Although the United States is gradually phasing out conjugal visits, the practice still holds in many countries. In Canada, for instance, “extended family visits” – a newly branded phrase for conjugal visits – permits prisoners up to 72 hours alone with their loved ones, once in few months. Close family ties and, in a few cases, friends are allowed to time alone with a prisoner. Items, like foods, used during the visit are provided by the visitors or the host – the inmate.

Over to Asia, Saudi Arabia is, arguably, one of the most generous countries when it comes to conjugal visits. Over there, inmates are allowed intimacy once monthly. Convicts with multiple wives get access to all their wives – one wife, monthly. Even more, the government foots traveling experiences for the visitors.

Conjugal visits do not exist in Great Britain. However, in some instances, prisoners incarcerated for a long period may qualify to embark on a ‘family leave’ for a short duration. This is applicable mainly for inmates whose records suggest a low risk of committing crimes outside the facility.

This practice is designed to reconnect the inmates to the real world outside the prison walls before their release . Inmates leverage on this privilege not just to reconnect with friends and family, but to also search for jobs , accommodation, and more, setting the pace for their reintegration.

Back to US history, the family visit initiative soon began to decline from around the ’80s. Now, conjugal visits only exist in California, New York, Connecticut, and Washington.

Is the Increasing Cancellation Justifiable?

The conjugal visit initiative cancellation, despite promising results, was reportedly tied around public opinion. Around the ’90s, increasing pressure mounted against the practice.

One of the arguments was that convicts are sent to jail as a punishment, not for pleasure. They fail to understand that certain convictions – such as convictions for violent crimes – do not qualify for conjugal visit programs.

The anti-conjugal visit campaigners claim the practice encouraged an increase in babies fathered by inmates. There are, however, no data to substantiate such claims. Besides, inmates are usually given free contraceptives during the family visits.

Another widely touted justification, which seems the strongest, is the high running cost. Until New Mexico recently scraped the conjugal visit scheme, they had spent an average of approximately $120,000 annually. While this may sound like a lot, what then can we say of the approximately $35,540 spent annually on each inmate in federal facilities?

If the total cost of running the state’s conjugal visit program was but equivalent to the cost of keeping three inmates behind bars, then, perhaps, the scrap had some political undertones, not entirely running cost, as purported.

Besides, an old study on the population of New York’s inmates postulates that prisoners who kept ties with loved ones were about 70 percent less likely – compared to their counterparts who had no such privilege – to become repeat offenders within three years after release.

Conjugal Visit State-by-State Rules

The activities surrounding conjugal visits are widely similar across jurisdictions. That said, the different states have individual requirements for family visitation:

California: If you’re visiting a loved one in a correctional facility in California, among other rules , be ready for a once-in-four-hours search.

Connecticut : To qualify, prisoners must not be below level 4 in close custody. Close custody levels – usually on a 1-to-5 scale – measures the extent to which correctional officers monitor inmates’ day-to-day activities.

Also, inmates should not be on restriction, must not be a gang member, and must have no records of disciplinary offenses in Classes A or B in the past year. Besides, spouse-only visits are prohibited; an eligible member of the family must be involved.

New York : Unlike Connecticut and Washington, New York’s conjugal visit rules – as with California’s – allow same-sex partners, however, not without marriage proof.

Washington : Washington is comparatively strict about her conjugal visit requirements . It enlists several crimes as basis for disqualifying inmates from enjoying such privileges. Besides, inmates must proof active involvement in a reintegration/rehabilitation scheme and must have served a minimum time, among others, to qualify.

However, the rule allows joint visits, where two relatives are in the same facility. Visit duration varies widely – between six hours to three days. The prison supervisor calls the shots on a case-to-case basis.

As with inmates, their visitors also have their share of eligibility requirements to satisfy for an extended family visit. For instance, visitors with pending criminal records may not qualify.

As complicated as the requirements seem, it can even get a bit more complex. For instance, there is usually a great deal of paperwork, background checks, and close supervision. Understandably, these are but to guide against anything implicating. Touchingly, the prisoners’ quests are simple. They only want to reconnect with those who give them happiness, love, and, importantly, hope for a good life outside the bars.

Conjugal Visits: A Typical Experience

Perhaps you’ve watched pretty similar practices in movies. But it’s entirely a different ball game in the real world. Besides that movies make the romantic visits seem like a trend presently, those in-prison sex scenes are not exactly what it is in reality.

How, then, does it work there? As mentioned, jurisdictions that still allow “extended family visits” may not grant the same to the following:

Persons with questionable “prison behavior”
Sex crime-related convicts
Domestic violence convicts
Convicts with a life sentence

Depending on the state, the visit duration lasts from one hour to up to 72 hours. Such visits can happen as frequently as once monthly, once a couple of months, or once in a year. The ‘meetings’ happen in small apartments, trailers, and related facilities designed specifically for the program.

In Connecticut, for example, the MacDougall-Walker correctional facility features structures designed to mimic typical home designs. For instance, the apartments each feature a living room with games, television, and DVD player. Over at Washington, only G-rated videos, that’s one considered suitable for general viewers, are allowed for family view in the conjugal facilities.

The kitchens are usually in good shape, and they permit both fresh and pre-cooked items. During an extended family visit in California, prisoners and their visitors are inspected at four-hour intervals, both night and day, till the visit ends.

Before the program was scrapped in New Mexico, correctional institutions filed-in inmates, and their visitors went through a thorough search. Following a stripped search, inmates were compelled to take a urine drug/alcohol test.

Better Understanding Conjugal Visits

Conjugal visits are designed to keep family ties.

New York’s term for the scheme – Family Reunion Program (FRP) – seems to explain its purpose better. For emphasis, the “R” means reunion, not reproduction, as the movies make it seem.

While sexual activities may be partly allowed, it’s primarily meant to bring a semblance of a typical family setting to inmates. Besides reunion, such schemes are designed to act as incentives to encourage inmates to be on their best behavior and comply with prison regulations.

Don’t Expect So Much Comf ort

As mentioned, an extended family visit happens in specially constructed cabins, trailers, or apartments. Too often, these spaces are half-occupied with supplies like soap, linens, condoms, etc. Such accommodations usually feature two bedrooms and a living room with basic games. While these provisions try to mimic a typical home, you shouldn’t expect so much comfort, and of course, remember your cell room is just across your entrance door.

Inmates Are Strip-Searched

Typically, prisoners are stripped in and out and often tested for drugs . In New York, for example, inmates who come out dirty on alcohol and drug tests get banned from the conjugal visit scheme for a year. While visitors are not stripped, they go through a metal detector.

Inmates Do Not Have All-time Privacy

The prison personnel carries out routine checks, during which everyone in the room comes out for count and search. Again, the officer may obstruct the visit when they need to administer medications as necessary.

Conjugal Visits FAQ

Are conjugal visits allowed in the federal prison system?

No, currently, extended family visits are recognized in only four states across the United States – Washington, New York, Connecticut, and California.

What are the eligibility criteria?

First, conjugal visits are only allowed in a medium or lesser-security correctional facility. While each state has unique rules, commonly, inmates apply for such visits. Prisoners with recent records of reoccurring infractions like swearing and fighting may be ineligible.

To qualify, inmates must undergo and pass screenings, as deemed appropriate by the prison authority. Again, for instance, California rules say only legally married prisoners’ requests are granted.

Are gay partners allowed for conjugal visits?

Yes, but it varies across states. California and New York allow same-sex partners on conjugal visits. However, couples must have proof of legal marriage.

Are conjugal visits only done in the US?

No, although the practice began in the US, Mississippi precisely, other countries have adopted similar practices. Saudi Arabia, Brazil, Venezuela, Colombia, and Canada, for example, are more lenient about extended family visits.

Brazil and Venezuela’s prison facilities, for example, allow weekly ‘rendezvous.’ In Columbia, such ‘visits’ are a routine, where as many as 3,500 women troop in weekly for intimacy with their spouses. However, Northern Ireland and Britain are entirely against any form of conjugal programs. Although Germany allows extended family visits, the protocols became unbearably tight after an inmate killed his supposed spouse during one of such visits in 2010.

Benefits of Conjugal Visits

Once a normal aspect of the prison system, conjugal visits and the moments that prisoners have with their families are now an indulgence to only a few prisoners in the system. Many prison officials cite huge costs and no indications of reduced recidivism rates among reasons for its prohibition.

Documentations , on the other hand, say conjugal visits dramatically curb recidivism and sexual assaults in prisons. As mentioned earlier, only four states allow conjugal visits. However, research shows that these social calls could prove beneficial to correctional services.

A review by social scientists at the Florida International University in 2012 concludes that conjugal visits have several advantages. One of such reveals that prisons that allowed conjugal visits had lower rape cases and sexual assaults than those where conjugal visits were proscribed. They deduced that sex crime in the prison system is a means of sexual gratification and not a crime of power. To reduce these offenses, they advocated for conjugal visitation across state systems.

Secondly, they determined that these visits serve as a means of continuity for couples with a spouse is in prison. Conjugal visits can strengthen family ties and improve marriage functionality since it helps to maintain the intimacy between husband and wife.

Also, it helps to induce positive attitudes in the inmates, aid the rehabilitation process, and enable the prisoner to function appropriately when reintroduced back to society. Similarly, they add that since it encourages the one-person-one partner practice, it’ll help decrease the spread of HIV. These FIU researchers recommend that more states should allow conjugal visits.

Another study by Yale students in 2012 corroborated the findings of the FIU researchers, and the research suggests that conjugal visits decrease sexual violence in prisons and induces ethical conduct in inmates who desire to spend time with their families.

Expectedly, those allowed to enjoy extended family visits are a lot happier. Besides, they tend to maintain the best behaviors within the facility so that they don’t ruin their chances of the next meeting.

Also, according to experts, visitations can drop the rate of repeat prisoners, thus making the prison system cost-effective for state administrators. An academic with the UCLA explained that if prisoners continue to keep in touch with their families, they live daily with the knowledge that life exists outside the prison walls, and they can look forward to it. Therefore, these family ties keep them in line with society’s laws. It can be viewed as a law-breaking deterrence initiative.

For emphasis, conjugal visits, better termed extended family visits, are more than for sex, as it seems. It’s about maintaining family ties, primarily. The fact is, away from the movies, spouse-alone visits are surprisingly low, if at all allowed by most states’ regulations. Extended family visits create healthy relationships between prisoners and the world outside the bars. It builds a healthy start-point for an effective reentry process, helping inmates feel hope for a good life outside jail .

Harassment and Cyberbullying as Crimes

What is a bench trial jury trial vs. bench trial, related articles.

History of the Freedom of Information Act

Ineffective Assistance of Counsel

Tort Law Definition & Examples

Bail vs Bond: What’s the Difference?

Conjugal Visits

Why they’re disappearing, which states still use them, and what really happens during those overnight visits..

Although conjugal, or “extended,” visits play a huge role in prison lore, in reality, very few inmates have access to them. Twenty years ago, 17 states offered these programs. Today, just four do: California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington. No federal prison offers extended, private visitation.

Last April, New Mexico became the latest state to cancel conjugal visits for prisoners after a local television station revealed that a convicted killer, Michael Guzman, had fathered four children with several different wives while in prison. Mississippi had made a similar decision in January 2014.

A Stay at the “Boneyard”

In every state that offers extended visits, good prison behavior is a prerequisite, and inmates convicted of sex crimes or domestic violence, or who have life sentences, are typically excluded.

The visits range from one hour to three days, and happen as often as once per month. They take place in trailers, small apartments, or “family cottages” built just for this purpose, and are sometimes referred to as “ boneyards .” At the MacDougall-Walker Correctional Institution in Connecticut, units are set up to imitate homes. Each apartment has two bedrooms, a dining room, and a living room with a TV, DVD player, playing cards, a Jenga game, and dominoes. In Washington, any DVD a family watches must be G-rated. Kitchens are typically fully functional, and visitors can bring in fresh ingredients or cooked food from the outside.

In California, inmates and their visitors must line up for inspection every four hours throughout the weekend visit, even in the middle of the night. Many prisons provide condoms for free. In New Mexico, before the extended visitation program was canceled, the prisoner’s spouse could be informed if the inmate had tested positive for a sexually transmitted infection. After the visit, both inmates and visitors are searched, and inmates typically have their urine tested to check for drugs or alcohol, which are strictly prohibited.

What Everyone Gets Wrong

Conjugal visits are not just about sex. In fact, they are officially called “family visits,” and kids are allowed to stay overnight, too. In Connecticut, a spouse or partner can’t come alone: the child of the inmate must be present. In Washington, two related inmates at the same facility, such as siblings or a father and son, are allowed to arrange a joint visit with family members from the outside. Only about a third of extended visits in the state take place between spouses alone.

The Insider’s Perspective

Serena L. was an inmate at the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility in New York from 1999 to 2002. During that time, she qualified for just one overnight trailer visit. Her 15-year-old sister, who lived on Long Island, persuaded a friend to drive her to the prison. “I remember her coming through the gate, carrying two big bags of food, and she said, ‘I got your favorite: Oreos!’ ” Serena says. “It was like a little slumber party for us. When I was first incarcerated, we had tried to write to each other and talk to each other by phone, but there was lots we weren’t really emotionally able to come to terms with until we had that private space, without a CO watching, to do it.”

The (Checkered) History

Conjugal visits began around 1918 at Parchman Farm, a labor camp in Mississippi. At first, the visits were for black prisoners only, and the visitors were local prostitutes, who arrived on Sundays and were paid to service both married and single inmates. According to historian David Oshinsky, Jim Crow-era prison officials believed African-American men had stronger sex drives than whites, and would not work as hard in the cotton fields if they were not sexually sated. The program expanded in the 1940s to include white, male inmates and their wives, and in the 1970s to include female inmates.

Has your partner been in prison? Help others understand what the experience is like by filling out our questionnaire.

Our reporting has real impact on the criminal justice system

Amanda Aguilar, a woman with light-toned skin and red hair, wears a red tank top and denim shorts while sitting on a lawn chair outside her home.

Our journalism establishes facts, exposes failures and examines solutions for a criminal justice system in crisis. If you believe in what we do, become a member today.

Stay up to date on our reporting and analysis.

Collective liberation requires collective action.

Sign up for Prism’s newsletter to get first access to news and analysis that makes you think—and act. Developed alongside people on the frontlines of injustice, Prism will help deepen your understanding on the most pressing issues of our time.

By clicking submit, you agree to share your email address with Prism to receive our newsletter, updates, and other emails. Use the unsubscribe link in those emails to opt out at any time.

Justice Requires the Full Story

Prisons control incarcerated people’s relationships and their access to intimacy

“It’s hard to know who you can turn to for support”

Much of American culture promotes the idea that love conquers all, but the reality is far more complicated for those whose lives are shaped by incarceration. Many romantic relationships experience complicated periods of separation, but how prison environments affect the emotional ties between loved ones are unique.

In a 2019 study, Dr. Bonnie McCracken Nickels explored the experiences of women who are in relationships with an incarcerated partner. The study focused on uncovering the primary ways these women maintain connection with their partners and the ongoing barriers that thwart their efforts.

Some of their methods may be familiar: using physical items such as pictures or gifts to feel a sense of closeness to their partner, engaging in positive thinking, offering assurances such as reiterating one’s commitment to the relationship, discussing future plans, and integrating the incarcerated partner into their everyday life either by sharing the goings on of each person’s day or timing phone calls so that they coincide with special events like family dinners or a child’s school recital.

Other ways of staying connected were more nuanced and reflected specific barriers stemming from incarceration. For instance, Nickels notes that when it comes to planning for the future, “the un-incarcerated women saw discussion of future plans as dependent upon prison sentence length. When an incarcerated partner had an extended or life sentence, the un-incarcerated women tended to focus their discussions on current behavioral efforts of their incarcerated partners so that they could earn more visitation privileges and/or release from segregation in the future.”

Families who have incarcerated loved ones live with a lot of stigma and shame and they generally don’t tell anybody that they have someone in that circumstance. Soffiyah Elijah

Similarly, participants in the study noted that purposefully concealing or avoiding certain topics was something that they had to be more mindful of doing at times.

“If it is something he can help with I tell him,” one respondent wrote. “If it’s a financial struggle or something he cannot help with and would lead him to further depression and disappointment, I keep it to myself.”

Similarly, while couples in other types of long-distance relationships, like military deployment, often rely upon their social network to vent or seek comfort, that option was less common for people with an incarcerated significant other because of the stigma attached to incarceration.

“People judge,” one respondent wrote. “It’s hard to know who you can turn to for support.”

In addition to stigma, these women also discussed having to wrestle with loneliness, a lack of communication due to the cost of phone calls, and the inability to engage in small talk throughout the day–small privileges that can easily be taken for granted by those whose lives are unencumbered by the carceral system. Similarly, women cited emotional disconnect on both ends as a blockage that was difficult to overcome. On their side, there can be a pressure to always be positive during phone calls and in letters, feeling as if their problems are incomparable to the stressors of prison life.

Elijah sees firsthand how the stigma of incarceration can silence people who have a loved one inside.

“Families who have incarcerated loved ones live with a lot of stigma and shame and they generally don’t tell anybody that they have someone in that circumstance,” Elijah said in an interview with Prism.

Founded in 2016, AFJ’s mission is to support, empower, and mobilize families who have an incarcerated loved one or have been impacted by the criminal legal system, focusing on those detained in New York State. The organization has three arms of work: free legal support for families, advocacy and organizing, and family support, which includes weekly empowerment circles and community organizing meetings. These empowerment circles can be spaces where members feel safe to share their thoughts, stories, and struggles.

“You don’t have to hide if you’re having a bad hair day because the visit didn’t go well or because you weren’t able to make the visit, or if you’re [deciding] can I afford to take this visit [because] my kid needs new sneakers?” Elijah said. “It’s a place where you can talk about some of those stressors that you might not be able to talk about with your loved one because you don’t want them to know how hard it is on the outside for you.”

Elijah says that people from outside New York sometimes call into these weekly meetings because they don’t have similar spaces in their state. When there is a space to release and discuss stress, there is also an opportunity to brainstorm with the group to identify solutions to the most pressing problems plaguing these family members and their loved ones inside.

Using access to intimacy as a means of control

While initially called “conjugal visits,” a name which simply denotes that it is “related to marriage,” the term has garnered a sexualized and salacious connotation that continues to tightly link the concept to its anti-Black origins.

Conjugal visitation dates back to the early 1900s on Parchman Farm, now known as the Mississippi State Penitentiary. Parchman was and continues to be among the prisons that most clearly preserve the enduring ties between chattel slavery and the carceral system. Convict leasing, made possible by a clause within the 13th amendment that preserved slavery through imprisonment, meant that prisons like Parcham could be used to target Black Americans and utilize incarcerated workers to yield profit for the state while also preserving the racist hierarchy that existed during the antebellum era.

At Parchman, corrections officers authorized the first documented conjugal visits, arranging for local sex workers to enter the prison to incentivize incarcerated men to work harder in the prison cotton fields. Rooted in stereotypes about race and hypersexuality, these visits were initially only offered to Black Parchman prisoners.

By the 1940s, conjugal visits were extended to white male prisoners. In the 1970s, female prisoners were permitted visits from their spouses as well. Conjugal visitation spread to other state corrections systems across the country, with some programs only available to spouses and others allowing additional family members. Some programs were a few hours long, while others offered visits that spanned an entire weekend. For the latter, incarcerated people and their visiting loved ones could stay in trailers located outside the prison but within the facilities’ gates, outfitted to look like small one or two-bedroom apartments in an attempt to replicate a more domestic and comfortable feeling.

Restrictions around who can access this treasured alone time are another form of control where the system—not incarcerated people and their loved ones—determines which relationships are worth maintaining.

There are still elements of extended visitation programs that harken back to the history of conjugal visits and their original use as a tool for control and discipline. For instance, the carceral system still employs tight restrictions on displays of affection during in-person visits. Earlier in the pandemic, when officials paused New York’s Family Reunion Program but in-person visits were still allowed, incarcerated loved ones could be written up for disciplinary tickets if caught kissing a visiting loved one.

In other states, corrections officials have crafted policies dictating how long an embrace or a kiss can last or the height of tables at visiting rooms, purposefully choosing short tables that would prevent couples from touching or holding hands outside of a corrections officer’s line of sight. Further, restrictions around who can access this treasured alone time are another form of control where the system—not incarcerated people and their loved ones—determines which relationships are worth maintaining. Before Connecticut’s extended visitation program was halted, only incarcerated parents were eligible and children had to be present alongside other family members. This was beneficial for parent-child relationships but also inherently undervalued the need for intimate time amongst romantic partners.

Additionally, incarcerated people must exercise “good behavior” being sure not to incur any disciplinary infractions to maintain eligibility in the program. In New York, incarcerated people wishing to take part in the extended visit programs must exhibit a “pattern of good institutional adjustment” and not incur any major, chronic, severe, or excessive disciplinary infractions that would lead to the loss of certain privileges over the time that their visit is scheduled to take place. Disciplinary conduct that could revoke access to extended visitation could range from fighting and bribing to refusing to obey the orders of DOCCS personnel “promptly and without argument.”

But research shows that visitation yields long-term positive outcomes beyond what a system rooted in racist stereotypes views as “good behavior.” Incarcerated people who are visited more frequently have fewer symptoms of depression. For married people inside, increased frequency of visits from their spouses can reduce the possibility of recidivism by 30% according to research conducted in 2008.

Despite such benefits, recent challenges continue to undermine the success of this programming and threaten the future of extended visitation altogether. In New York State, families and loved ones of incarcerated people and advocates from groups such as AFJ waged a campaign to reinstate the Family Reunion Program after it was halted at the onset of the pandemic in 2020, along with the processing of all marriage licenses in the state’s prisons.

“We pushed, we cajoled, we embarrassed, we took out ads in the local newspaper, we went on the radio, we sent postcards to then Governor Cuomo about it and basically annoyed the heck out of everybody we could get to pay attention until we got both of those things restored,” said Elijah.

In 2021, the program resumed, though not without a vaccination requirement for families who wish to take part—a double standard given that officers working within these same facilities are no longer required to be vaccinated. DOCCS’ failure to ensure that people incarcerated in its facilities consistently have access to PPE since the earliest days of the pandemic further underscores that the vaccine mandate for families is merely an attempt to create additional obstacles.

Elijah says that she’s cautiously optimistic that the program will remain safe against legislative threats because of how valuable it is to loved ones on the outside and inside and its efficacy in incentivizing good behavior.

“There’s no reason that they should want to get rid of good behavior incentives,” said Elijah. “I think we’re on firm footing to push back against any effort to eliminate the Family Reunion Program, but I say that cautiously.”

A holistic view of the financial, physical, and emotional costs of intimacy while incarcerated

Campaigns or legislative efforts related to incarcerated people and their loved ones often focus on the financial toll placed on families and friends. The cost of sharing phone calls, sending care packages, traveling long distances for visits, or sending funds for commissary items are rightfully highlighted and contrasted with the abysmally low wages that people inside are paid for their labor. Families are often placed in debt and tasked with deciding whether to pay for necessary expenses or maintain contact with their loved ones inside. For instance, a recent change to the DOCCS package policy in New York is causing families new financial anxieties. In April 2022, Gov. Kathy Hochul issued a new policy only allowing care packages to be sent to state prisons via online vendors. Previously, loved ones could bring packages in during their in-person visits.

Not only do online vendors mean that families must pay shipping costs to send packages, but advocates say the new policy also limits what goods make it inside. For example, care packages have been one of the few avenues by which incarcerated loved ones can access fresh fruits and vegetables. Pivoting towards online vendors lengthens the journey from farm to table, meaning that most of these goods will spoil en route. Groups like AFJ have begun to fight back against the policy , putting out ads and sending thousands of postcards and emails to the governor’s office.

The impact of incarceration on families has just not been part of the narrative [and] mass incarceration not only destroys the people who are behind bars, but it [also] destroys the people on the outside and the communities they come from. Soffiyah Elijah

Advocates are also drawing attention to the collateral harm the policy does to the health of people inside by further restricting their diets and their emotional and mental well-being. For instance, when care packages are filtered through third-party vendors, it’s more difficult for loved ones to personalize them by including a special snack or favorite type of produce that a person inside loves and anticipates.

Focusing outreach on finances and health can help people understand the ripple effects of incarceration and lead to successful campaigns that will have an immediate, urgent impact on the lives of incarcerated people and their families. But it can also obscure the intimate lives and needs of those on the inside and the people they love on the outside. For advocates like Elijah, shifting narratives about incarceration to a more holistic view may be the best salve to the harm caused by the carceral system.

“The impact of incarceration on families has just not been part of the narrative [and] mass incarceration not only destroys the people who are behind bars, but it [also] destroys the people on the outside and the communities they come from,” said Elijah. “That holistic view of what [incarceration is] doing is essential to develop a holistic strategy for undoing that harm.”

Tamar Sarai

Tamar Sarai is a features staff reporter at Prism. Follow her on Twitter @bytamarsarai. More by Tamar Sarai

9 Arresting Facts About Conjugal Visits

By suzanne raga | sep 6, 2015.

They're not nearly as common as pop culture might lead you to believe.

1. ONLY FOUR STATES STILL ALLOW CONJUGAL VISITS.

In the United States, conjugal visits occur only in state prisons, not federal prisons. In the early 1990s, 17 states had active conjugal visit programs. As of 2015, though, California, New York, Connecticut, and Washington are the only states that still allow conjugal visits . Two other states that recently had conjugal visit policies in place— Mississippi and New Mexico—stopped allowing the visits as of February 1, 2014 and May 1, 2014, respectively.

2. THE PHRASE "CONJUGAL VISIT" IS ACTUALLY A MISNOMER.

Today, conjugal visits are called extended family visits (or, alternately, family reunion visits). The official reason for these extended family visits is three-fold: to maintain a connection between the prisoner and his family, to reduce recidivism , and to provide an incentive for good behavior. States no longer use the phrase “conjugal visit” to emphasize the program’s inclusion of all family members, rather than just the prisoner’s spouse/partner.

3. LIKE HOTELS, PRISONS THAT FACILITATE EXTENDED FAMILY VISITS PROVIDE TOILETRIES FOR THEIR GUESTS.

In the United States, prisons have special facilities (cabins, trailers, or apartment-style housing) dedicated just to extended family visits. Some prisons provide towels, sheets, toiletries, condoms, and lube to their inmates. Other prisons provide two-bedroom apartments with a living and dining room, DVD player, TV, and games like Jenga and dominoes. Depending on the state and the specific prison’s rules, visitors may be allowed to bring groceries and prepared food to the visit.

4. BOTH PRISONERS & THEIR VISITORS MUST FULFILL CERTAIN REQUIREMENTS TO GET PERMISSION FOR A VISIT.

The specific rules pertaining to extended family visits vary from state to state. Most visits in California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington occur only in minimum to medium security prisons, and inmates must have a record of good behavior and a record of clean health. A spouse who visits their husband/wife inmate must pass a background check, body search, and be registered with the prison’s visitor list.

5. CONJUGAL VISITS ORIGINATED IN MISSISSIPPI NEARLY 100 YEARS AGO.

In 1918, the first conjugal visits occurred at a labor camp called Parchman Farm (also called Mississippi State Penitentiary). The warden, James Parchman, wanted to encourage the African-American male prisoners to work harder, so he paid prostitutes to come and have sex with the inmates each Sunday. In the 1930s, Parchman Farm began letting white male prisoners engage in this program, and female inmates were invited to participate in 1972.

6. PRISONERS IN INDIA HAVE THE LEGAL RIGHT, NOT PRIVILEGE, TO BEAR CHILDREN.

In 2015, India’s government passed legislation stating that conjugal visits are a right , not a privilege, for married inmates. These inmates are also entitled, if they wish, to give their sperm to their spouse for artificial insemination. Interestingly, in 2014, prison officials in New Mexico cited the birth of children to fathers who were incarcerated as a big contributing factor (besides economic reasons) to end conjugal visits in the state.

7. PRISONS IN SAUDI ARABIA ARE SURPRISINGLY (ABSURDLY!) LIBERAL, LAX, & GENEROUS.

In Saudi Arabia, male inmates can have one conjugal visit each month. But that rule applies to each spouse, so men with multiple wives can have multiple visits each month! The Saudi government helps inmates’ families with money each month for housing, food, and education, and the government also pays for the travel (airfare and hotel) expenses that inmates’ family members incur to visit the prison. And, if the prisoner wants to attend a family wedding or funeral, he's given up to $2600 to give as a gift . The Washington Post reported that the Saudi government spent $35 million on these prisoner perks in 2014.

8. IN 2010, A GERMAN PRISONER USED HIS UNSUPERVISED CONJUGAL VISIT TO MURDER HIS VISITOR.

In April 2010, a 50-year-old inmate killed his 46-year-old girlfriend during a conjugal visit in a German prison. After sending him letters in prison, she became his girlfriend and participated regularly in six-hour unsupervised visits with him. The inmate, Klaus-Dieter H., had been imprisoned for nearly two decades for the rape and murder of a child. Unfortunately, he stabbed his girlfriend with a steak knife and strangled her during one of those visits. Because this incident came on the heels of a few other instances of slack security at German prisons (including prisoner beatings and escapes), many outraged Germans criticized prison authorities and the justice minister, Roswitha Müller-Piepenkötter. Ultimately, German prisons beefed up security and implemented stricter rules for conjugal visits, increasing the restrictions on which prisoners are allowed to have the visits.

9. BRAZIL'S CONJUGAL VISIT POLICY IS QUITE SEXIST.

In Brazil, both straight and gay male inmates can receive visitors , but female inmates rarely get the privilege of participating in conjugal visits. Unfortunately, discriminatory policies are probably the least of the female inmates’ worries: Brazil’s prison cells are overcrowded, filthy, unsanitary, and dangerous. Women in prison who are pregnant do not have access to medical care, and many female inmates are confined to isolation units without cause.

CDCR Facebook (opens new window)
CDCR Twitter (opens new window)
YouTube (opens new window)
Instagram (opens new window)

Types of Visits

All incarcerated people are eligible to receive visits unless they have temporarily lost that privilege due to disciplinary action. See below for information on in-person and family visiting. Please note that all visiting is dependent on the Department’s Roadmap to Reopening and health and safety factors.

In-Person Visits

Most incarcerated people in the general population may participate in an in-person visit. These visits allow the incarcerated person to sit together with their visitor(s) in a designated shared space, usually furnished with tables and chairs. In-person visits are limited to five visitors at a time and are not limited in duration except for normal visiting hours or terminations caused by overcrowding.

In-Person Non-Contact Visits

Incarcerated people who are still in reception (recently admitted to CDCR or transferred between prisons) or who are segregated (i.e., Administrative Segregation, Security Housing Units, Adjustment Centers, pending specific rules violation report charges, or assigned to Behavior Management Units) are restricted to non-contact visits. Non-contact visits occur with a glass partition between the incarcerated person and his/her visitors. The incarcerated person is escorted in handcuffs by staff to the visit. The handcuffs are removed only after the incarcerated person is secured in his/her side of the visiting booth; thus, parents who do not wish to have children see the incarcerated person in restraints should wait away from the booth or glass partition until the prisoner is settled. Non-contact visits are restricted to three visitors and are limited in time (usually one to two hours, depending on the prison and the reason for the non-contact status of visits).

Incarcerated people on Death Row, often referred to as “condemned”, are housed either at San Quentin State Prison in Marin County (men) or at Central California Women’s Facility in Chowchilla (women). “Condemned Grade A” incarcerated people on Death Row may receive contact visits (meaning no partition between incarcerated person and his/her visitor) unless their visiting privileges have been restricted for disciplinary or security reasons. “Condemned Grade B” incarcerated people on Death Row may only receive non-contact visits. All Condemned visits are in a secured booth and involve the incarcerated person being escorted to visiting in handcuffs. Visits for all incarcerated people on Death Row are limited in time (usually one to two hours).

Family Visits

Some incarcerated people are eligible for “family visits.” Family visits occur in private, apartment-like facilities on prison grounds and last approximately 30 to 40 hours. The following individuals are excluded from family visits: Incarcerated persons on Death Row, any incarcerated person with convictions for sex offenses, anyone in the Reception Centers process, or anyone under disciplinary restrictions. Family visits are restricted to immediate family members (parents, children, siblings, legal spouses, registered domestic partners, or who have a bona fide and verified foster relationship) of the incarcerated person. There are no age restrictions for prospective visitors. Family visits are further restricted by availability. An eligible incarcerated person must put in an application for a family visit with their assigned correctional counselor at the prison. Further inquiries about family visiting should be directed by the incarcerated person to their counselor or by the family to the respective institution visiting staff.

Scheduling Family Visits

To schedule a family visit, an incarcerated person must request to schedule a Family Visit with the Family Visiting Coordinator. The Family Visiting Coordinator at the institution will provide the necessary paperwork for the incarcerated person to complete, as well as a packet for them to send to their approved visitors to complete. Once all paperwork is complete and a visit is scheduled, the Family Visiting Coordinator will assist in arranging meals and other details. Depending upon the institution, family visits may be offered on the weekend, during the week, or both. Incarcerated persons and their families must pay for meals; all other accommodations are provided at no cost.

Waitlist for Family Visits

Each institution compiles a waitlist for family visit requests, prior waitlists are no longer in effect. Availability of visits, and turnaround time between approval and visit, varies with each institution.

In‑Person Marriage Ceremonies

Effective immediately, in-person marriage ceremonies may be scheduled and facilitated at adult institutions in the OPEN Phase of the Roadmap to Reopening . Each institution has its own protocols for marriages; please contact your institution for details.

The process for requesting and completing a marriage packet has not changed. The incarcerated person must request the marriage packet from their counselor. Prior wedding waitlists will be honored. For more information, contact the institution in which your loved one is housed.

If an institution is not in OPEN Phase, adult applicants may continue to appear before a county clerk to obtain a marriage license via videoconference, rather than in person per Governor’s Executive Order #N-58-20 . While CDCR is in compliance with this order, the authority to issue marriage licenses and to validate marriage ceremonies continues to rest entirely with the individual counties.

An in-person ceremony may be cancelled at any time due to health and safety reasons. When this status changes, a request may be submitted to the Marriage Coordinator to reschedule.

So What are the Actual Rules with Conjugal Visits and How Did They Get Their Start?

To begin with, in Britain, conjugal visits aren’t a thing, though in some cases when prisoners who have been locked up for a long period are getting close to their release date, if they are considered particularly low risk for committing crimes or going off on their merry way, they may be allowed to have family leave time for brief periods. This is time meant to help re-acclimate them to the world outside of prison and get their affairs in order, including re-connecting with family and friends, looking for work, etc.- all as a way to try to help said person hit the ground running once fully released.

Moving across the pond to the United States, first, it’s important to note that prisoners in federal custody and maximum security prisons are not allowed conjugal visits. Further, in the handful of states that do allow conjugal visits, prisoners and their guests must meet a stringent set of guidelines including full background checks for any visitors. On the prisoner’s side, anyone who committed a violent crime, has a life sentence, is a sex offender, and other such serious crimes are also not eligible. Further, in Connecticut, if an inmate is a member of a gang or even thought to be so, they are also banned from conjugal visits. On top of that, pretty much everywhere, any inmate who does anything wrong whatsoever while in prison also finds themselves either temporarily or permanently banned from such visits.

This brings us to how the whole conjugal visit thing got its start in the United States; the earliest official-ish policy with regards to allowing, in this case male, prisoners to enjoy the company of the fairer sex started in the Mississippi State Penitentiary (Parchman Farm) in the early 20th century. This was instituted as a way to get its black prisoner populace, who were used pretty literally as slave labor, to work harder while working the 20,000 acres of land at this institution. In fact, the superintendent of the prison at the time was actually a farmer himself, which is why he was hired to oversee things. As historian David M. Oshinsky, author of Worse Than Slavery: Parchman Farm and the Ordeal of Jim Crow Justice , notes, “[The Administrator’s] annual report to the legislature is not of salvaged lives. It is a profit and loss statement, with the accent on the profit.”

Prisoners who didn’t work hard could be beaten and other such “stick”-type incentives leveraged. On the other hand, prisoners who worked hard, were willing to help keep their fellow prisoners in line, etc. etc. were given various rewards. In fact, in the extreme, a prisoner who managed to kill another prisoner attempting to escape could even be rewarded with a full pardon for that and whatever crime they’d previously committed to get locked up in the first place.

Most pertinent to the topic at hand, for those prisoners who were particularly well behaved and worked the hardest, one reward they could be given was the company of a prostitute on their Sunday off-day. To help facilitate this, every Sunday a literal truck load of women would be brought in to tend to the best behaved prisoners. Later, the policy was expanded to include girlfriends and wives for the men who preferred their company.

To illustrate the thinking of the prison officials in perhaps the most offensive way possible, we have this time-capsule of a quote from one contemporary prison guard from Mississippi- “You gotta understand that back in them days n***ers were pretty simple creatures. Give ‘em pork, some greens, some cornbread, and some poontang every now and then and they would work for you.”

Moving very swiftly on from there, the effectiveness of promised sex for a male prisoner, regardless of race, if they toed the line caught on and, as the century progressed, around 1/3 of the states in the U.S. eventually adopted the practice, as well as many other countries through the 20th century also instituting similar programs.

As for that effectiveness, former warden of Great Meadow Correctional Facility in New York State, Arthur Leonardo, explains, “We don’t have much to give to people in prison. If you don’t have anything to take away from someone, you don’t have anything to take away to urge them to do the right thing.”

Illustrating the effectiveness on the prisoner’s side, one Ray Coles, whose temper resulted in an assault that saw him given a nine year prison sentence, states of the incentive the conjugal visits give him to never step out of line, “Every action or choice I make is made with my wife in mind.”

As for what actually goes on during a conjugal visit, the Hollywood idea and reality, as ever, are somewhat different. While in film and TV shows, a conjugal visit is a time to get hot and sweaty with your partner, the reality is that, while sex may or may not be involved, much of the time is spent just doing normal things with not just a partner, but kids and other family members. In fact, in New York, it’s reported that around 40% of conjugal visits don’t include a spouse or the like, rather often just children and other loved ones. For this reason, these visits are usually officially called things like “Extended Family Visits” or, in New York, the “Family Reunion Program”.

As one California inmate summed up of his extended family visit with his partner, “I got to spend 2 1/2 days one-on-one with my partner, my best friend, my confidant, my life partner. It wasn’t about the sex.”

For further context here, in the United States for most prisoners, at best during normal visitation they might be allowed a brief 2 second hug with their partner and a peck on the cheek, if the latter is allowed at all. On top of that, everything you say or do is being watched, and the time together is relatively brief.

As you can imagine from this, for many prisoners, regardless of their crime, whatever prison sentence was doled out often comes with a generally unmentioned punishment of the finishing of a relationship with their partner. Combined with limited access to phones and the extreme expense of prison and jail phone calls, this also often sees a near complete disconnect from their kids, friends, etc. while in prison.

Thus, for prisoners, while sex may or may not be involved, the reality of the extended family visit is just that- depending on the exact rules for a given prison, 6-72 hours where you can spend time with your partner, kids, and sometimes other family members or friends in a somewhat normal setting, doing normal things.

As for frequency, while in movies it’s a regular thing, and little lead up time, in reality in the United States, this may be granted at best once per month all the way up to once per year, or not at all.

Towards the end of facilitating family bonding, many prisons that allow this provide a couple bedrooms to accommodate a couple and their kids, as well as things like board games, a TV, and potentially food, though costs of things like food are footed by the inmate or their loved ones. For reference, the wife of the aforementioned Ray Coles, Vanessa, states she pays around $100 per extended family visit for things like food, which is then provided by the prison.

As for regions outside the United States, places like Canada allow for extended family visits up to 72 hours in length once every couple months, including allowing anyone with a close familial bond to take part, even friends if the authorities deem the bond strong enough. As in the United States, food and other such items are paid for by the inmate or their family or friends.

Interestingly one of the most generous of the nations when it comes to family visits is Saudi Arabia, which allows a once a month visit; but if you have multiple wives, you get once per month per wife! On top of that, beyond allowing such frequent visits, the government actually pays for the travel of those coming to see you.

Back over in the United States, at its peak in the late 20th century, extended family visits were allowed in about 1/3 of states, but began dropping precipitously starting around the 1980s and 1990s to just four states today- California, Washington, New York, and Connecticut.

This was around the same time a number of such programs designed to keep people from being repeat jailbirds were given the axe across the nation, unsurprisingly directly corresponding to the prison population in the United States absolutely exploding, in the four decades since rising an astounding 500%! For reference, before the 1980s, the growth was relatively slow and steady, more or less tied to population growth. More on this in the Bonus Fact in a bit.

As for the impetus for cutting the extended family visit programs, this is generally tied to increased public sentiment starting around the 1980s and 1990s that prisoners are there to be punished, not to be coddled, and that the program costs too much. For example, in New Mexico, who relatively recently killed the extended family visit program, it was costing taxpayers about $120,000 per year.

Now, this might sound like a lot, and if you go read the news reports, this was certainly used as the driving political rhetoric to get the program nixed by the politicians involved. However, it’s noteworthy that New Mexico reports an average cost per inmate annually is a whopping $35,540, which is pretty close to the national average of about $31,000…. Meaning the entire extended family visit program was costing about what it costs to house just over 3 of their approximately 16,000 inmates per year.

Of course this is still costing taxpayers something… except when you consider, for example, a 1982 study done on New York’s prison populace which found that prisoners who were allowed extended family visits were almost 70% less likely than other prisoners to end up back in prison within three years. This makes it potentially the single most effective recidivism program known, even soundly stomping on the second king of recidivism programs- education, which we’ll talk a bit more about in the Bonus Facts.

As to why family visits seem so effective at reducing recidivism, as the aforementioned warden Arthur Leonardo, notes, those who are able to maintain family bonds while in prison, when they get out, have “someone who loves you and will help you, and in the case of children, people who depend on you…”

Going back to the reality of an extended family visit, it’s usually required that partners and the inmates be tested for STDs and come out clean before being allowed to have their little rendezvous. Further, the prisoners themselves are strip searched both before the extended family visit and after. Should they test positive for drug or alcohol use after, they are then banned from future visits indefinitely, and those who brought in the contraband may also be banned from taking part again.

On top of that, those that are visiting the prisoners must be cleared as well, though strip searches, at least in the United States, are not allowed on the visitors, so contraband may occasionally be smuggled in in certain orifices or the like. To try to get around this in, for instance California, inmates and their families are searched regularly during the extended family visits, usually at a rate of about once every four hours.

This brings us to what you can bring for an extended family visit. Well, not much- mostly just things like clean linens, certain toiletries, strictly regulated clothing, and the like. No cell phones, no electronic devices, and really not much of anything else. Even things like family pictures are pretty strictly regulated in number, type, and size. Going back to clothing, one Myesha Paul, wife of California inmate Marcello Paul who is in prison for robbery, states, “They don’t want you to have anything that’s form fitting… although we come with hips and all that, so it’s kinda hard to find what don’t fit around, you know? I just buy some men’s sweat pants and make it work.”

If you go look at the California regulations on this, they also have strict regulations when it comes to colors of clothing, for example no blue denim or forest green pants, no tan shirts, no camouflage, nothing strapless, no skirts or dresses or non-capri shorts- the list goes on and on.

Myesha also helpfully describes what a real extended family visit is like, stating, “We sat outside and played dominoes on Saturday. After that we went in and watched TV, watched movies.” And while she states her and her husband do have sex during the visit, as is almost universally noted by every other inmate and their partner we looked it, it’s more about the closeness and little things like getting to hold your partner’s hand or just hold them in general, as well as waking up next to them. She states, “It feels good… because I don’t get that at home. Ya know. At home I’m sleeping by myself, unless my grandbaby or one of my kids wanna sleep with me. But they’re grown. But they still do sleep with me sometimes. But other than that, you know, I’m waking myself up in the morning, or the alarm clock is waking me up, or my grandson comes and wakes me up. It’s good to have my husband waking me up. It’s the nicest thing about being married. Isn’t it? Waking up?”

She also states of her husband, “He watches me through the night… I know he does ’cause sometimes I wake up and he’s looking at me. And I do the same to him. Sometimes he’s sleeping and he wakes up and I’m watching him.”

Similarly summed up by the aforementioned Vanessa Coles, the value of extended family visits is about keeping her family together- “It keeps our bond going, keeps our marriage strong and keeps him on track.” As for the couple’s young kids, “The little one needs it because that’s all he knows. The older one needs it to remember what he knows.” And as for those arguing against allowing such visits, she states, “[The prisoners] are being punished. I get it. [But] destroying your marriage and family should not be a part of your sentence.”

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy our new popular podcast, The BrainFood Show ( iTunes , Spotify , Google Play Music , Feed ), as well as:

What Happens to Your Stuff When You Get Sent to Prison for Life?
When Did Having a Prisoner’s Last Meal Be Anything They Want Start?
From a Life of Crime to One of the Most Prolific Actors of All Time- Danny Trejo’s Prison Break
Are You Really Entitled to a Phone Call When Arrested?
What Happens if You Commit a Crime in Space?

Bonus Facts:

Going back to what caused the massive spike in U.S. incarcerations starting in the 1980s that has more or less continued unabated since, one thing often pointed to is that this was around the time the war on drugs was ramped up, generally considering to account for about 25%-50% of the increase in inmate population. This still leaves the rest, which is the majority. And unless you just think U.S. citizens are far more likely to commit crimes than, for example, our European brethren, obviously there is something weird going on. As to what, a variety of factors are pointed to including the cutting of many programs designed to keep people from being repeat offenders, marked increase in sentence length, especially compared to the rest of the world for similar crimes, and perhaps the catch-all which has driven a lot of this to the extreme- the privatization of prisons that occurred at this time, making many prisons for-profit institutions.

In the decades since, these entities have heavily lobbied for things that seem pretty directly tied to doing everything possible to make prison sentences longer and keep people coming back for more- most pertinent to the topic at hand, cutting costs wherever possible for themselves, including any and all recidivism programs. After all, they get paid per inmate, so aren’t too concerned with what the total cost is to the state, other than the greater that cost, the more they make.

Naturally, the longer sentences and increased likelihood of repeat offenders, at a rate of about 45% within 3 years and 76% within five, has seen prison populations skyrocket in the United States since the 1980s. The net result of all of this being that, at present, the land of the free currently houses almost one quarter of all inmates imprisoned in the entire world! The cost of housing these inmates comes to about $50-$70 billion annually. This does not include the police and judicial costs that get the prisoners put there in the first place- all summing up to massive sums of money being spent and many more crimes being committed while proven recidivism programs that see massive reductions in repeat offenders going largely unused. And noteworthy here is that about 95% of prisoners do get out at some point.

And speaking of recidivism programs like extended family visits, a study done by the United States Department of Justice noted that prisoners given access to educational programs were, for vocational certificates 14.6% less likely to find their way back in prison within 3 years vs. the general prison populace. For those achieving a GED while in prison, they were 25% less likely to end up back in the slammer. And those who attained an Associates degree were the highest of all in their study at about 70% less likely, approximately the same benefit as those given access to extended family visits.

Averaging it all out, the net effect of the educational programs was about a 43% reduction in rate of returning to prison within 3 years. From this, crunching the numbers, the study showed that this meant for every $1 spent by the states towards educating prisoners, it saved $5 annually thanks to the reduction of prison population, let alone other cost savings in court and police expenditures and, of course, a reduction in crime rate. Given each year about 700,000 inmates are released in the United States, that amounts to a massive reduction in crime, while a rather large increase in a better educated and more skilled populace.

Finally, one more bonus fact- while violent criminals are almost always seen as the most dangerous and most likely to re-offend by the general public, the data does not back that up at all- not even close. According to the United States Department of Justice, the highest rate of re-offenders within 3 years after being released were those stealing motor vehicles at 78.8%! Next up are those in prison for selling stolen property at 77.4%. The list goes on and on, but essentially, those who steal are generally about 70%+ likely to re-offend within 3 years and are the highest at-risk re-offenders. In stark contrast, violent crime convicts are massively less likely to re-offend. For example, rapists and murderers are only 2.5% and 1.2% likely to re-offend respectively. Of course, the latter is much more news worthy and traumatic, leading to the skewed public perception.

Conjugal Visit
Prisoner Murders Girlfriend
The Dark Origins of Conjugal Visits
No Laughing Matter
Mississippi Ending Conjugal Visits
How Conjugal Visits Work
States That Allow Conjugal Visits
Conjugal Visits Correlate to Fewer Sexual Assaults
Conjugal Visits Rules and History
Extended Family Prison Visit
One Conjugal Visit
Conjugal Visits
California Inmate Visitation
San Quentin Visitation
Prison Visits
The Conjugal Visit
Canada Visiting an Inmate
Pennsylvania Visiting Rules
National Crime and Justice
Conjugal Visits Not Practical
Australia Conjugal Visits
South Dakota Corrections
United States Incarceration Rate
New Mexico Incarceration Statistics
New Research on Prison Education
State of Phone Justice
Cost of Incarceration

I can’t comment on everything in the bonus facts, but I think the low (1.2%) re-offending rate for murder can be put down to two things: (1) they receive very long sentences (if not actually executed!), and so leave prison in their old age, and (2) they were more likely to have committed a crime of passion, rather than be career criminals. For that matter, I read that, at Devil’s Island, the murderers looked down on the thieves. Murder might be a worse crime, but it was usually the only one they committed, while the thieves were habitual criminals. (That might be a reason behind the high re-offending rate for stealing cars and receiving stolen goods.)

You might want to look that up because it is actually not correct. Depending on the severity of the crime murder can carry as little as a 5 year sentence, and remember it is not uncommon to serve as little as one quarter of the issues sentence. Also, execution is remarkably rare with many US states banning it or in moratorium. For a detailed state by state list of murder recommended sentences see this wiki:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_punishments_for_murder_in_the_United_States

Pennsylvania
North Carolina
Los Angeles County
Cook County
Harris County
Maricopa County
San Diego County
Orange County
Kings County
Miami County
Dallas County
Riverside County
Inmate Locator

What States Allow Conjugal Visits?

A 2012 research conducted by the Southern Criminal Justice Association indicated that state prison systems prohibiting conjugal visits experienced sexual violence at an average rate of 226 cases per 100,000 prisoners.

Meanwhile, states permitting similar visits had a less frequent occurrence of such violence: 57 per 100,000 inmates.

These findings may suggest support for conjugal visits. However, decision-makers may need to look at more than the numbers to determine whether such visits are practical and beneficial in the long term.

How do conjugal visits work, and what states permit these visits? Are conjugal visits a right or privilege? How about same-sex couples? Should individuals still call it a “conjugal visit” today?

lookupinmate.org addresses these questions and many more. This article also covers the requirements for inmates to be allowed conjugal visits and the arguments regarding such visits.

Which U.S. Prisons Allow Conjugal Visits? Which States Have Them?

During the 2000s, only California, New Mexico, Mississippi, Connecticut, Washington, and New York allowed such visits. By 2015, Mississippi and New Mexico discontinued their programs.

In 1993, conjugal visitation programs existed in 17 U.S. states. However, no existing records mention what these states were. One survey mentioned that in 2013, there were at least nine states with such programs, namely:

Connecticut
Mississippi
South Dakota

What Is a Conjugal Visit?

A conjugal visit is when a prisoner is allowed to receive a visit, usually from a husband or wife, to spend private time together.

The idea behind such visits is to let inmates have the time for intimate contact with their partners.

Depending on the state’s conjugal visit program, sometimes called the extended family visitation program, a visit may last for several hours or overnight.

What Everyone Gets Wrong

Conjugal visits are not entirely only about physical intimacy or sex. Officially, such visits are called family visits, and kids are permitted to stay overnight.

In Connecticut, the inmate’s spouse or partner cannot visit alone: the inmate’s child must be present.

Meanwhile, Washington allows two related inmates in the same facility, like siblings or a parent and child, to be visited jointly by immediate family members from outside. About one-third of extended visits occur between spouses alone in the state.

Conjugal Visits to Help Preserve Families

Conjugal visits can help preserve family units. In New York, conjugal visits are referred to as family reunion programs (FRP).

Since conjugal visits are also called extended family visits, the concept of such visits should not be limited to physical intimacy only.

How Conjugal Visits Work

In states offering extended prison visits, inmates must have a record of good behavior to be permitted conjugal visits. However, prisoners with life sentences , criminals convicted of domestic violence, or sex offenders charged with crimes like sexual assault are usually excluded.

If you want to fully understand how conjugal visits work, here are a few questions to consider:

Is There a Long Waiting List?

Prisons allowing conjugal visits keep a schedule and inform inmates of the next visit date. A facility with a large number of inmates may have a long waiting list depending on how many visits the facility can accommodate.

Who Is Eligible?

Although conjugal visit rules vary between states, prisoners, in general, must apply for that privilege. Before being granted visitation, the prisoner must undergo and pass a health screening.

In California, an inmate must be married to a legal spouse to qualify for conjugal visits.

Prisoners who committed several infractions, like fighting and swearing during the past six months, are not eligible.

How Often Can Prisoners Have Visitors ?

Extended family visits usually have three schedules: 6, 12, and 24 hours. The facility allows these visits to eligible convicts an average of once or twice a year.

Where Do Conjugal Visits Take Place?

Correctional facilities allowing conjugal visits typically have private, apartment-style accommodations where inmates and their visiting loved ones or significant others can stay. These rooms come with sheets, towels, soap, and condoms.

Can Same-Sex Couples Take Part?

In 2007, California allowed conjugal visits to married same-sex couples or those in a civil union. New York permitted the same privilege in 2011.

Conjugal Visitation Is a Privilege, Not a Right

The United States Supreme Court and several federal courts believe prisoners have no constitutional right to conjugal visits. So such visits are considered a privilege, especially for inmates exhibiting good behavior while serving their time in prison.

Still, some prisoners and their spouses have filed lawsuits in federal and state courts, claiming that denying conjugal visits violates these rights :

The marital privacy rights of the prisoner and spouse
The right to procreate
The constitutional prohibition against unusual and cruel punishment
Religious freedom rights provided by the First Amendment

Despite these arguments, courts found no constitutional right to a conjugal visit and rejected these claims.

Are Conjugal Visits Free of Charge?

Conjugal visits are free for prisoners except in Washington. As of 2013, the state’s participation fee for such visits was $10 per night.

Are Conjugal and Extended Visitation Privileges Highly Regulated?

States regulate and determine who a family member is. Inmates and visitors must submit applications to be allowed conjugal visits.

All prison visitors are subjected to a physical search for contraband or weapons, whether for a conjugal or different type of visit. Facilities do not allow drugs or alcohol and prohibit cell phones or other electronic devices.

Prison staff ensures that visitors bring only a few highly regulated items into the facility and prohibit certain foods or gifts. The staff can also turn away visitors who are not wearing appropriate clothing.

Why Have Visitation Programs Been Discontinued?

There are claims that the discontinuation of conjugal visits in many states is due to public opinion. There are individuals who believe criminals should not have access to anything, including time with family members. Others complain when they learn inmates have health care access.

Another reason is reports of contraband getting snuck into prison and babies being conceived during conjugal visits. However, there are no figures to back up these claims, leading to conclusions that these reports are unfounded.

Still, states mention that the actual reason for the discontinuation of such programs is budget cuts.

In New Mexico, the program costs taxpayers $120,000 every year. Though the state’s budget in 2016 was $6.2 billion and the median household income was $43,782, the state did not seem to see the benefits outweighing the cost.

Why Should Visitation Programs Continue?

Initial claims suggested that visitation programs help lower parole violations by 25%. However, one study involving New York’s family reunion program showed that extended family visits might lower recidivism (tendency to reoffend) among prisoners by 67%.

There are also claims that one potential benefit of conjugal visits is lowering the rate of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) among prisoners. However, studies have not conclusively established a correlation between conjugal visits and lower STD levels.

Because there is more than only intimacy involved in these visits, prisons in states allowing conjugal visits have renamed such programs “family visits.”

Correctional officers claim that prisoners with visitation access are generally happier and are encouraged to maintain good behavior to earn visitation privileges or even early release .

If you or your family members are planning to visit a loved one in prison, you need a platform to search for records about that inmate. lookupinmate.org is a nationwide online inmate records checker that can help you locate prisoners detained in any correctional facility.

10 Arresting Realities Regarding Conjugal Visits

Despite not having many states implementing conjugal visits, individuals who may have relatives or spouses in prison need to understand the following facts about this program:

Prisoners and Their Visitors Must Meet Certain Requirements to Get Permission for a Visit

Rules on extended family visits typically vary from one state to another. However, one common rule in California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington is that conjugal visits occur only in prisons with medium security or lower . Inmates must also have a record of good behavior and clean health.

Another requirement is that spouses who visit their incarcerated husband or wife must pass a body search and background check and be registered on the prison’s visitor list.

The “ Conjugal Visit ” Phrase Is a Misnomer

Conjugal visits today are called extended family visits or family reunion visits. The reasons for these visits include:

Maintaining the connection between inmates and their families
Reducing recidivism (or an inmate’s tendency to reoffend)
Motivating good behavior

Renaming the program to “extended family visit” helps emphasize the inclusion of all family members instead of only the inmate’s spouse or partner.

Like Hotels, Prisons Facilitating Extended Family Visits Have Toiletries for Guests

U.S. prisons have special facilities like trailers, cabins, or apartment-style housing for extended family visits. Some prisons provide inmates with sheets, toiletries, towels, condoms, and lube.

Other prisons have two-bedroom apartments featuring a living and dining room and amenities like TVs, DVD players, and games like dominoes and Jenga.

Visitors may be permitted to bring prepared food or groceries during the visit, depending on the state prison’s rules.

Mississippi Was the First State That Allowed Conjugal Visits Nearly 100 Years Ago

Mississippi was the first state to allow conjugal visits in the early 1900s. The state even provided the prostitutes who charged 50 cents for their services.

The first conjugal visits occurred at Parchman Farm, also called Mississippi State Penitentiary , in 1918. James Parchman, the warden, used conjugal visits as an incentive for male prisoners (who were mostly African-American) to work harder in the prison’s farming industry.

However, the state later canceled the costly program despite protests from prisoners’ families and rights groups who believed that even infrequent visitations promote family bonds and boost prisoner morale.

Only Four States Still Allow Conjugal Visits

As of 2015, the only states allowing conjugal visits are California, New York, Washington, and Connecticut.

Mississippi and New Mexico also had conjugal visit policies before. However, Mississippi halted allowing these visits on February 1, 2014, and New Mexico did the same on May 1, 2014.

Connecticut Prisoners Cannot Be Level 4 or Above to Be Eligible for Conjugal Visit

In Connecticut’s prison system, levels on a scale of 1 to 5 refer to how much guards monitor inmates daily.

Prisoners also cannot be gang members, on restrictive status, or convicted of a class A or class B disciplinary offense within the last 12 months before requesting eligibility.

In India, Married Prisoners Have the Legal Right to Conjugal Visits and Bear Children

In 2015, India’s government passed legislation declaring that married inmates have the right to conjugal visits. These inmates are also entitled to provide sperm to their spouses for artificial insemination if the inmate so wishes.

Saudi Arabian Prisons Are Surprisingly Liberal and Generous

In Saudi Arabia, male inmates are allowed one conjugal visit per month, and the rule applies to each spouse. So, men with multiple wives can have numerous visits every month.

The Saudi government provides inmates’ families monthly allowance for food, housing, and education. The government also pays for airfare and hotel expenses family members incur when visiting a relative in prison.

A prisoner who wishes to attend a family wedding or funeral is provided $2,600 to give as a gift. In 2014, the Saudi government spent $35 million on these prisoner privileges.

A German Prisoner Used Their Unsupervised Conjugal Visit to Murder Their Visitor

In April 2010, a 50-year-old prisoner killed his 46-year-old girlfriend during an unsupervised conjugal visit in a German prison. During one of those visits, the prisoner stabbed his girlfriend using a steak knife and strangled her.

Outraged Germans criticized the justice minister and prison authorities for this incident and questioned a few other instances of relaxed security at German prisons, including prisoner escapes and beatings.

Eventually, German prisons increased security and implemented stricter rules for conjugal visits.

Brazil Has a Sexist Conjugal Visit Policy

In Brazil, straight and gay male prisoners can receive visitors. However, female inmates rarely receive the same privilege.

Though such differences in conjugal visit policies appear discriminatory, female prisoners in Brazil may have to worry more about overcrowded and unsanitary prison cells. Pregnant inmates do not have sufficient access to proper medical care, and many female prisoners can be unjustly confined in isolation units.

The Checkered History: How Did the Conjugal Visit Program Start? When Did Conjugal Visits Start?

Conjugal visits started in 1918 at Parchman Farm, a labor camp in Mississippi.

At first, the camp allowed visits for Black prisoners only. The visitors were local prostitutes who arrived every Sunday and were paid to service single and married inmates.

Historian David Oshinsky said Jim Crow-era prison officials perceived African-American men as having stronger sex drives than whites and would not work hard in the cotton fields until they were sexually sated.

In the 1940s, the government expanded the conjugal visit program to include white male prisoners and their wives. Finally, in the 1970s, the program included female inmates.

Do prisoners in South Carolina get conjugal visits ?

A journal dated 1981 mentioned that South Carolina was among the states allowing conjugal visits at that time. Today, the state no longer implements that program. Additionally, federal prisons also do not allow conjugal visits.

Do death row inmates get conjugal visits?

Death row prisoners are not eligible for conjugal visits, even in states that permit conjugal visits for other inmates. Also, no state officially allows conjugal visits for death row inmates.

Do other countries have conjugal visits ?

The U.S. is not the only country allowing conjugal visits despite having only four states implementing this program.

In Brazil, Venezuela, and Columbia, prisons allow unmarried inmates to have such visits. India and Saudi Arabia also have conjugal visit programs.

While Germany permits prisoners to apply for conjugal visits, the screening is strict, and security is tight, especially since an inmate murdered his girlfriend during one such visit in 2010.

Searching for an inmate in the U.S., not knowing where your loved ones are detained? lookupinmate.org lets you search for a prisoner by state or prison type . This one-stop inmate lookup site has access to more than 7,000 correctional facilities across the United States.

The Effect of Conjugal Visitation on Sexual Violence in Prison https://www.prearesourcecenter.org/sites/default/files/library/theeffectofconjugalvisitation.pdf
Prison Visitation Policies: A Fifty-State Survey https://law.yale.edu/sites/default/files/area/center/liman/document/prison_visitation_policies.pdf
Conjugal Visits https://www.themarshallproject.org/2015/02/11/conjugal-visits
Heaven https://www.themarshallproject.org/2015/02/11/heaven#.ybmNK2evz
Conjugal Visitation in American Prisons Today https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/conjugal-visitation-american-prisons-today

Sex, Love, & Marriage Behind Bars

What are conjugal visits really like? Incarcerated journalist John J. Lennon takes Esquire inside one of the last bastions of prisoner intimacy in America: trailers of New York.

I first heard about the trailers, prison vernacular for conjugal visits, on Rikers Island. It was 2002, I was twenty-four, and I was awaiting trial on murder charges. The guy the next bunk over in the communal dorm knew I was facing a lot of time, even if I didn’t know that. I was delusional in the beginning. We all are.

The bunkmate had just finished a dime—a ten-year sentence—for assault and was now in on a parole violation for breaking curfew, caught on a tip called in by his wife. Still, he loved her, and he loved telling me about going on conjugals with her up in Auburn, a maximum-security prison. It wasn’t just about the sex, he said. It was forty-eight hours of freedom, or close to it. Most of New York’s maximum-security prisons had them. They weren’t trailers, not anymore, but modular homes. He described the units: two, sometimes three bedrooms—the prison supplied pillows, bed linens, towels, and washcloths—a living room, a bathroom, and a full kitchen stocked with pots and pans, a coffee maker, a blender, and utensils. A wire bolted to the counter next to the sink was connected to the handle of the kitchen knife. His wife would bring clothes, cosmetics, and groceries: milk, eggs, pork chops, shelled shrimp. Glass containers weren’t allowed; neither was alcohol, not even as a makeup ingredient. Outside there was a picnic table, a barbecue pit, and a children’s play area.

conjugal visits in prison love in new york correctional facility john j lennon

It was, the fella in the next bunk told me, an opportunity for good times, good eating, and good sex. An incentive to stay out of trouble in the hope of experiencing a touch of love.

There was a hitch: Your partner had to be your legal spouse. Close family members were also eligible, of course, and this was really the objective of these visits: to build and maintain better family ties. But that was beside my bunkmate’s point. If I was convicted, he said, he recommended I put an ad on one of those prisoner dating websites (Prison Pen Pals, Write a Prisoner), find a woman, fall in love, make it official, then head for the trailers.

In 2004, I was sentenced to twenty-eight years to life. The minimum was longer than I’d been alive. Early on, I didn’t think much about the implications for my love life. At twenty-four, I’d had plenty of sex but never a real relationship, or even healthy intimacy. Besides, there were more pressing concerns: appealing my conviction, learning how to survive in this place.

I first saw the trailers at Clinton Correctional, a maximum-security prison a few miles south of the Canadian border, in Dannemora. By then I’d learned that New York’s Department of Corrections and Community Supervision didn’t actually call them conjugal visits. Only Mississippi did. While the word conjugal simply means “related to marriage,” these visits began to carry lewd implications, and other states opted to rebrand: In California, it was known as “family visiting.” In Connecticut and Washington, they were referred to as “extended family visits.” In New York, it was, and still is, called the Family Reunion Program, or FRP.

In 2005, I had my first FRP visit—with my mother and my aunt. My aunt cooked bacon and eggs in the morning, grilled porterhouse steaks and tossed salads for dinner. We sank into the soft couches, ate, and watched Law & Order reruns, oddly Mom’s favorite show. We talked until interrupted by the muffled screams of a couple through the wall of the attached unit. We laughed awkwardly, avoiding eye contact, and I felt kind of jealous. Three times a day, a phone in the unit rang. I picked up, spat my last name and identification number into the receiver, then stepped outside and waved to the watchtower guard. That count was one of the only reminders of prison.

When I returned to my block, guys asked how the conjugal had gone. Great, I said. When I mentioned it was with my mother and my aunt, they sort of nodded, like, Oh, that’s cool, too. I loved visiting with my family. But I did start to think about what it would be like to be with a woman again.

.css-f6drgc:before{margin:-0.99rem auto 0 -1.33rem;left:50%;width:2.1875rem;border:0.3125rem solid #FF3A30;height:2.1875rem;content:'';display:block;position:absolute;border-radius:100%;} .css-1aglugu{font-family:Lausanne,Lausanne-fallback,Lausanne-roboto,Lausanne-local,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:1.625rem;line-height:1.2;margin:0rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-1aglugu{font-size:1.75rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-1aglugu{font-size:2.375rem;line-height:1.2;}}.css-1aglugu b,.css-1aglugu strong{font-family:inherit;font-weight:bold;}.css-1aglugu em,.css-1aglugu i{font-style:italic;font-family:inherit;}.css-1aglugu:before{content:'＂';display:block;padding:0.3125rem 0.875rem 0 0;font-size:3.5rem;line-height:0.8;font-style:italic;font-family:Lausanne,Lausanne-fallback,Lausanne-styleitalic-roboto,Lausanne-styleitalic-local,Arial,sans-serif;} Trailer visits were never perfect. Sometimes they were hard. But in many ways, they felt like rehearsals for life on the outside.

I got by with my hand and my memories, with the occasional assist from Buttman or High Society. Many of us who’ve been locked up all these years try idiosyncratic methods to pleasure ourselves. Some use a Fifi—a rolled towel with a plastic bag stuffed in the crevice; inside the bag is a rubber glove lubed with Vaseline that can be warmed in a hot pot of water, if one prefers. The crevice can be tightened or loosened by a strap wrapped around the rolled towel, creating different sensations. Fucking Fifis was an intimate ritual for one of my neighbors. At night he hung a curtain across his cell bars, prepped his Fifi, rolled the whole thing up in his mattress—he said it was more like a big-booty girl that way—laid out a few porno mags, and started thrusting.

But I wasn’t looking to hump a Fifi for the next twenty-five years.

Married men in the joint who went on conjugals seemed to have the most meaningful lives: They worked out, they went on visits, they sported crispy new sneakers and polo shirts with the horse, as if to say to the rest of us, I got a lady who loves me, and I got more status than you. At least, that’s how I took it. Every few months, they disappeared—most men kept their conjugal dates to themselves to avoid attracting envy—but we all knew where they’d gone. They came back to the cellblock with hickey-covered necks, looking pleasantly tired. I decided that was how I wanted to serve my sentence.

Mississippi State Penitentiary, of all places, was the first facility in the U. S. to offer conjugal visits, in the early 1900s. Also known as Parchman Farm, the segregated prison functioned as a revenue-generating plantation that produced cotton, cattle, pork, and more; its prisoners performed all the hard labor. To incentivize their work, administrators began arranging for prostitutes to visit on Sundays, and prisoners slept with them wherever they could—tool sheds, storage areas, the barracks. At first, only Black prisoners were allowed to participate, and for deeply racist notions “about Black men’s allegedly voracious sexual natures and appetites,” says Heather Ann Thompson, author of the Pulitzer-prize-winning history of the Attica uprising, Blood in the Water, “that Black prisoners could be forced to work even harder not just under threat of the lash but also, due to their savage nature, the promise of sex.”

Starting around 1940, all of Parchman’s prisoners were able to participate, regardless of race. By the late fifties, prostitutes were banned, replaced by prisoners’ spouses, common-law wives, and female friends. In 1972, the program opened to the facility’s female prisoners. Still, the system was marked by prejudice. “The most important question concerning a program of conjugal visiting,” wrote Columbus Hopper in his 1969 study of Parchman, Sex in Prison, “is whether it helps to reduce the problem of homosexuality in prison.” Hopper was the leading conjugals researcher of his time, and the “problem of homosexuality” seems to have been one of the main forces behind his advocacy. Truth is, in my twenty-one years of incarceration, I’ve never been sexually assaulted or witnessed that kind of assault.

New York’s first FRP began in 1976, with five 12-foot-by-70-foot trailers in a former cow pasture at Wallkill Correctional. Attica got its trailers in 1977, six years after the prisoner uprising for more humane treatment that, when law enforcement took back the prison, left thirty-nine dead. In the first eighteen months of Attica’s FRP, 1,179 prisoners participated.

By 1993, seventeen states allowed some version of extended family visits. That year in New York, 12,401 family members attended FRPs across the state. “The effectiveness of the program is beyond dispute,” the prison commissioner wrote in an op-ed around that time.

Data supports the former commissioner’s claims. According to a recent literature review, prisons that allow conjugal visits have better disciplinary records than those that do not. What’s more, studies have determined that released prisoners with an established relationship have a much better chance of not returning to prison. (In 1980, New York’s corrections department published findings suggesting that participation in the program decreased recidivism rates by as much as 67 percent.)

Yet since the start of such programs, fierce resistance has followed. By the early nineties, the era of mass incarceration was fully under way, and across the country, prison programs that incentivized good behavior—furloughs, work release, college, conjugals—were on the chopping block. Why, the thinking went, should we coddle criminals with taxpayer money? (It’s worth noting that FRP upkeep is paid for in part by prisoner fundraisers.) And don’t conjugals present one more way to introduce contraband?

As early as 1969, when Hopper published his findings on Parchman, conjugal visits were available in Chile, Ecuador, Japan, Mexico, Costa Rica, and the Philippines. Today, that list includes Qatar, Argentina, Brazil, Belgium, Sweden, Spain, France, Russia, and Saudi Arabia.

The United States has shifted in the opposite direction. In the eyes of the law, conjugal visits are a privilege, not a right. The Supreme Court has repeatedly upheld prison administrators’ latitude to limit prisoners’ rights, including visitation, writing in 2003 that “freedom of association is among the rights least compatible with incarceration.” In 2014, Mississippi did away with its program. “There are costs associated with the staff’s time,” the state’s prison commissioner said at the time. “Then, even though we provide contraception, we have no idea how many women are getting pregnant only for the child to be raised by one parent”—as if such family planning were his call to make.

Today, only four states allow conjugal visits—New York, California, Washington, and Connecticut—though when Covid came, Connecticut’s program was suspended, and it has yet to return. Federal prisons don’t offer the privilege. New York’s program has been a success: FRP is offered at twelve of its fifteen maximum-security prisons and eleven of its twenty-six medium-security prisons. Since 2011, same-sex couples have been able to participate. Yet each year over the past decade or so, Republican state senators have introduced a bill to eliminate FRP. Conservatives preach the importance of a solid family structure. Why would they want to sabotage prisoners who are trying to build and maintain theirs?

By 2009, I was in Attica; my appeals had been denied. I was thirty-two and lonely. I’d spend hours each day watching the tiny TV in my cell. The Bachelor was my favorite show—a glimpse of intimacy, however stage-managed, and a break from my bleak reality. I felt like I was squandering an opportunity by not putting myself out there. I told Mom what the guy on Rikers Island had suggested, and she put an ad on the prison dating website Friends Beyond the Wall.

Danielly was a year younger than me and lived with her teenage son in a housing project on the Lower East Side. “I’m Dominican, and brown. Do you like that?” she wrote. Yes, yes, I loved it! In an early letter, I brought up the trailers, told her to imagine an uninterrupted weekend together in a sort of cabin, no cell phones, no distractions—just us. She didn’t need to be sold. Her mom had married a guy who’d done time, she told me, and she remembered visiting those little homes in the prison as a young girl.

Danielly started visiting me at Attica. She was my type—curvy, full of attitude and affection. We had the kind of chemistry that made my stomach flutter. But I soon learned that my type was much harder to handle on the inside than it had been when I was on the outside. The guy she’d described as her ex-boyfriend was more like her current boyfriend. When I called her, she sometimes wouldn’t answer. I was left lovesick, and that’s no way to live in prison. So I let her go.

In January 2011, I started corresponding with Raina, a California blonde, thirty-nine, who’d never been married and had no kids, and it wasn’t a dealbreaker that I’d killed a man. She had a great sense of humor, and while she’d known darkness in her own life, she’d needle anyone who took theirs too seriously. I was hooked. She was emotionally intelligent, we spoke the language of recovery, and our relationship felt safe. She moved across the country for me. One day in 2012, in Attica’s visiting room, I proposed to her, and she said yes. Six months later, we joined a few other couples in a small room with a Goofy mural painted on the wall and Attica’s town clerk seated at a table, and we got married.

By 2014—after a series of applications, denials, appeals, and interviews, including one in which Raina was told I didn’t carry any sexually transmitted diseases—we had our first FRP date.

Two days beforehand, I had to piss in a cup under a guard’s gaze for my drug screen. Then again the day of, and again after I came off the trailer. Most of the work was on Raina: shopping, traveling, then getting processed, food pushed through an X-ray machine, gloved fingers sifting through her panties and K-Y jelly.

The corrections officer escorted a handful of us through the Attica lobby, a part of the prison I had never seen before. Gates opened and closed, and we walked to the FRP compound. A fence enclosed the five red-sided homes, situated so that the rest of the prison couldn’t see in. Though the watchtower guard kept a close eye.

Sitting on the couch, looking around, I felt . . . joy. In the system, you’re always waiting, and never for anything good: trial, sentencing, transfers, getting cuffed and shackled, always in a cell or a bullpen or on a bus eating bologna sandwiches. Now I didn’t know what to do with myself, and I loved it. I got up from the couch, turned on the stereo, then walked outside on the grass, sat on the children’s swing, went back inside. I grabbed the remote, turned on the flat-screen television, flipped through the stations. To do whatever I wanted, and to be waiting for my wife so we could do whatever we wanted—I felt giddy. Through the window I watched my neighbor in his kitchen as he boiled the silverware—forks, (butter) knives, a spatula, a ladle, all metal and engraved with tracking numbers—in one pot of water, and added a few drops of scented oil to another, to perfume the place. Finally, I heard one of the guys yell, “They’re here!”

A corrections van with blue-tinted windows pulled up, and the family members got out. A little boy ran to his father and jumped in his arms. And there was Raina. The CO let me help her with her luggage, which was in a container marked with our unit number.

As soon as the door of our unit closed, we threw the groceries—including cuts of filet mignon and A.1. sauce—on the table and started awkwardly kissing. As we began to undress, there was a knock on the door. Raina put on a shirt and I cracked the door. It was the CO, who just needed our container. It was like that, the conjugals; they were such a departure from regular prison life. Even the staff interactions were all good.

Raina and I got back to it. It was my first time in eleven years, so I figured I’d finish fast. But it was the opposite. We went at it for a while—soft, hard, slow, fast, this way, that way—and nothing seemed to bring either of us closer to climax. It was like I’d never touched a woman before. It felt weird that nobody else was watching us. I eventually pulled out and brought myself to ejaculation.

On some level, we hadn’t expected the first time to be amazing. Though it’s hard to make bad sex better, we had to try. We loved each other. We went on six more FRP visits, but the situation didn’t improve. Our issues were less about friction and more about fantasy, or the lack thereof.

Danielly had sent me letters over the years since we’d first met, none of which I’d replied to. But in 2015, as my relationship with Raina was coming to an end, I finally wrote back, explaining my marital woes. Danielly replied that I never should have gotten married in the first place, that she was my soulmate. She said she was still on and off with her boyfriend, but he didn’t matter. If I got divorced and married her instead, she’d come to Attica and fulfill all my fantasies.

I divorced Raina and proposed to Danielly.

In October, we got married by the same Attica town clerk who’d officiated the last time. The Goofy mural was gone. We posed for our wedding picture in front of a seascape of sea lions and colorful fish. Danielly looks sad in the photo, barely smiling. She’d wanted this day to be so much more special than it was.

Afterward, I bribed a CO with a few packs of Newports to let the cellblock’s tattoo artist come into my cell, and with a needle made from an uncoiled lighter spring powered by a repurposed beard-trimmer motor, he inked danielly on the inside of my upper arm in looping script. Once she ditched the boyfriend for good, she had my name inked on her forearm. We craved each other. Our kisses, deep and long and wet, always felt like good sex.

I wanted to transfer to Sing Sing, forty miles north of New York City—among other reasons, it would take Danielly an hour by train, as opposed to the eleven-hour bus trip she took both ways to visit me at Attica. But Attica was a disciplinary prison, rife with violence; the number of prisoners on good behavior was low, the FRP waitlist short. You could book a spot every forty or fifty days. At Sing Sing, the wait was closer to ninety days. I weighed the pros and cons. Con: waiting twice as long to be together. Pro: saving Danielly the hassle of a big trip to the middle of nowhere, which would probably mean I’d see her more often.

I submitted my paperwork, got approved, and transferred in November 2016.

In February, we had our first FRP date. The compound was pretty much the same as the one at Attica, but at Sing Sing we got a Polaroid camera and twelve blank photos. Some couples went into the units and did not come out for the allotted forty-eight hours. Others were more social. Me and my friend Andy Gargiulo—convicted in 2006 of killing his reputed mobster brother-in-law; we’d had the same lawyer—would sometimes coordinate our FRP visits. He was a lot older than me, around eighty, but we got along. So did our better halves. His wife brought the best Italian food in Brooklyn—cannolis, fresh mozzarella, and tender veal—and when the weather was nice, the four of us would sit outside and barbecue.

Danielly was provocative, and that turned me on. We argued; we canceled visits on each other. We often had angry, shit-talking sex. Sometimes we played nice, but she’d never let it get to my head. “Boy,” she’d say, “you have so much to learn about women.” We couldn’t have sex for the entire forty-eight hours, but it sometimes felt like we were trying.

Intimacy came in other forms. She introduced me to ASMR; I brewed Bustelo for her and microwaved the half-and-half so it wouldn’t cool off the coffee too much. “Coffee,” by Miguel, became our song. We watched The Notebook, and she recited her favorite lines. We watched Warrior, and when Tom Hardy’s character hugs his drunk father, played by Nick Nolte, Danielly comforted me as I cried.

I know now that our relationship wasn’t healthy. My moments of joy were outweighed by my jealousy and anxiety. I’d get annoyed if she didn’t read my latest article. “You’re all into yourself and your career,” she’d say. “Women don’t like that, bro!” Or “I fell in love with the guy at Attica, before he became the writer.” That one hurt. But it’s not like I’d ask about her job as a nurse at a Bronx clinic. She’d want to talk about our future, and I’d urge her to stay in the present. She’d storm off into the bedroom, slam the door, and curse me out in rapid-fire Spanish. Well, I’d think, this is life.

By March 2020, our relationship was rocky. But for the first twenty-four hours of our first FRP in more than a year, we were getting along. As we prepped lunch, a knock came at the door. It was the security captain. Because of Covid, our visit was over, along with our last shot at rekindling.

By the time FRP visits were restored, a year and a half later, I’d been transferred to Sullivan Correctional, in the southern Catskills. Danielly came up twice. But too much time had passed, and other relationships had formed: hers with somebody else, mine with my career. Becoming a journalist in the joint brought its own stress, and my anxiety worsened; things like pissing in a cup with a guard peeking seemed impossible. Recently, we divorced.

Would I have been better off not having experienced intimacy for the past twenty-one years? Would Raina and Danielly have been better off never having met me? I’ve since realized that in both relationships, I focused more on the affection I was getting than the affection I was giving. All this time spent living in my head, confined to a six-foot-by-nine-foot cell, has rendered me less expressive and more emotionally stuck. My thoughts would bounce around my brain but never make it out of my mouth, which left Raina, then Danielly, feeling neglected. The time I used to spend writing love letters I now spend writing articles. Sometimes I feel like I took the two of them for granted. There’s an immense effort, this leap toward love in which the only physical manifestation comes in the form of conjugal visits. And it’s exerted not by the prisoners but by our partners. They wait, they shop, they lug, they travel, they get gossiped about by friends and family and insulted by COs.

Trailer visits were never perfect. Sometimes they were hard, especially at the end—me returning to prison, my woman going home alone. But in many ways, they felt like rehearsals for life on the outside. I believe that because of my experiences with conjugals, when I do get out, I’ll be more sensitive to the feelings of those closest to me. “It remains utterly and inescapably true that to be a human being is to need to be connected to, to bond with, and to be nurtured by other human beings,” Heather Ann Thompson told me. “Serving one’s sentence does not change that.”

So I’m single now. Middle-aged, too. Sometimes I imagine the kind of woman I’ll attract when I’m on the outside, and I wonder if I’ll resent her because she didn’t fall for me when I was on the inside. Which is absurd, and I know I need to work that shit out. But it also feels like a nod to the women who’ve loved me, a thank-you to all the partners who’ve sacrificed so much to share their love with those of us who are locked up.

I think about a moment Danielly and I shared with Andy and his wife, who was wearing Prada glasses and a perfume called La Vie Est Belle. The sun was bright; we sat at the picnic table, eating the best of both kitchens. Andy was talking about a TV show he watched in his cell—maybe it was America’s Got Talent —and Danielly told him how she also loved that show. While recalling the final performance of a child singer who’d recently won, Andy choked up. Right there at the wooden table, surrounded by the thirty-foot concrete wall and the guard with the AR-15 perched in the tower. Danielly teared up, too. “He gets emotional on these visits,” Andy’s wife said in a tough Brooklyn accent, smiling. More than the sex, it’s moments like these—simple, safe, and endearing—that have provided me with what prison has stripped away: a taste of intimacy.

@media(max-width: 73.75rem){.css-1ktbcds:before{margin-right:0.4375rem;color:#FF3A30;content:'_';display:inline-block;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-1ktbcds:before{margin-right:0.5625rem;color:#FF3A30;content:'_';display:inline-block;}} Esquire Select Exclusives

What Happens When Your Longtime Therapist Dies?

How (Not) To Grieve

What Is Successful Nonmonogamy Anyway?

American Tragedy: The Death of an Alabama Pastor

Is “Doomslang” Making Us All Numb?

Is It Even Possible to Become More Productive?

The All-American Father

What If Profound Lovesickness Isn’t Romantic?

The Redemption of Al Sharpton

What Really Happened to Baby Christina?

Inside My Mid-Life Crisis

Vista DUI Lawyer and Criminal Attorney Peter M. Liss

Vista DUI Attorney
DMV Hearings
DUI Defenses
Domestic Violence
Sex Crime Defense
Child Molestation
Child Pornography
Hit and Run Accident
No-License Driving
Reckless Driving
Juvenile Crime
The Three Strikes Law
Weapons Charges
Theft Defense
Fraud Charges
Drug Offenses
San Diego Office
The Criminal Process
Criminal Defense FAQ
Hiring a Criminal Lawyer
Vista Criminal Law Blog
Contact Us 24/7

Conjugal Visits Are Real and They’re Great for Society

May 28, 2021 Written by Jill Harness and Edited by Peter Liss

Conjugal visits are regularly referenced in movies and TV shows but they almost seem unreal. After all, why should people serving time for crimes be allowed to have sex when they’re supposed to be punished? But that’s one of the big misconceptions about what the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation calls “Family Visits.” The official name isn’t just bureaucratic code for conjugal visits -the real reason the state allows these visits is to provide inmates to stay close to their families. And studies show this kind of visitation program has some profound benefits.

How did Conjugal Visits Get Started?

Conjugal visits were originally introduced in Mississippi state in the early 1900s. At the time, inmates were essentially just used as slaves, even physically beaten if they broke the rules or failed to work hard enough. To provide positive encouragement for those who worked hard and followed the rules, the prison brought prostitutes for the best inmates every Sunday. Eventually, the prison started allowing prisoners’ wives and girlfriends to visit as well.

The idea eventually caught on, and over the years, many other states adopted the idea of letting wives spend time with their inmate husbands, with over 1/3 of states in the United States eventually enacting some type of conjugal visit program. Unfortunately, with the push to “get tough on crime” that took place in the 90s, many states got rid of these types of programs, which were seen as “being soft on crime” by giving prisoners “sex visits” when they should be being punished. Nowadays, the only four states that offer conjugal visits are California, Connecticut, New York and Washington.

What is a Conjugal Visit?

A conjugal visit is where an inmate gets to see their family with some slight level of privacy and intimacy. One of the big misconceptions about these visits is that they are purely designed to allow prisoners to have sex. While that may be how the program started and may be part of the experience for married couples, the true purpose of the visits is to allow prisoners the opportunity to spend time with their families. Notably, in New York, where inmates are allowed to visit with extended family members, only 48% of these meetings were with a spouse.

Even when the visit is with a spouse, most inmates say that while the chance to have sex with their partners was nice, the family visit was more about being intimate with the person they love for anywhere from 30 to 40 hours. Considering that standard prison visits require all conversations be monitored by guards, and partners are only permitted to kiss at the start and end of the visit, the chance to have private discussions for 24 hours and spend the night in bed together is a welcome change.

How do the Visits Work?

Inmates who qualify for family visits can spend up to 40 hours in an apartment located on prison grounds with their spouses, domestic partners, or other immediate family members, including children, siblings or parents. These apartments are equipped with toiletries, sheets and condoms.

Prisoners are allowed no more than four visits per year. Unfortunately, because of the program’s popularity and the limited number of prison apartment spaces, it’s more likely prisoners will only be able to participate twice a year.

Not all prisoners are eligible for the program. Anyone on death row, who is serving a life sentence, or who was convicted of a sex offense is ineligible. Additionally, inmates must have a record of good behavior, and anyone on disciplinary restrictions cannot participate. Those eligible must apply through their correctional counselor.

Visiting family members will not be strip-searched, though the prisoner will. While the visit is mostly unsupervised, the area will be searched as often as every four hours.

Visitors must follow many rules , including what they wear. For example, no one can wear blue jeans, and women cannot wear short dresses, short skirts, strapless tops or form-fitting clothing.

Why do States Allow for Family Visits?

There are many benefits, but the biggest one is a dramatic reduction in recidivism rates . One study in New Mexico (which recently discontinued conjugal visits) showed that prisoners who participated in extended family visits had 70% less chance of ending up in prison than those who did not participate.

Family visits are, therefore, more effective than education in keeping former felons out of prison. The effectiveness of these programs makes sense, considering they help maintain relationships between inmates and their loved ones. These relationships are critical in helping convicts readjust to life outside prison after release.

Though many people consider these programs to be a waste of taxpayer money, it’s been shown that every $1 spent on education in prisons saves taxpayers $5 annually due to the reduced cost of housing prisoners. Given that visits with family members cost less and are even more effective at reducing crime rates, maintaining these programs seems to be a no-brainer.

Reducing recidivism rates is not the only benefit of conjugal visits. By encouraging prisoners to be good to earn time with their loved ones, prisons can reduce violence and dangers to other inmates and guards -which could further reduce the tax rates associated with incarceration. More savings can be realized as well, because the more prisoners are model citizens, the more likely they are to be eligible for early release programs, where they can enjoy a complete family reunion outside of the prison.

There is also evidence that conjugal visits reduce prison rape . One study found that sexual violence in prison occurred at a rate of 226 per 100,000 prisoners in states without these programs while occurring at a rate of 57 per 100.000 prisoners in states with family visits.

Conjugal Visits During Covid-19

Unsurprisingly, these programs were temporarily discontinued as a result of the ongoing pandemic, but they have since been reinstated. To participate in visits , all guests over 2 must be vaccinated or show proof of a negative covid test taken within 72 and 96 hours of the visit. Following the visit, inmates must take a covid test within 72 and 96 hours. Those who test positive, are unvaccinated, or refuse to take the test will be placed in quarantine after the visit.

Alternative Sentences are Still Preferable

Of course, being allowed to continue living with your family is better than any conjugal visit. Maintaining your family life is possible if you prove your innocence or are given an alternative sentence such as probation. Your choice of criminal lawyer makes such a drastic difference in the outcome of your case. If you have been accused of any crime, please call (760) 643-4050 to schedule a free initial consultation with Peter M. Liss.

DUI / Felony DUI
Driving Offenses
White Collar Crimes
Violent Crimes
Sex Offenses
Privacy Policy
Terms of Use

Attorney Peter M. Liss, (760) 643-4050 380 S Melrose Drive #301 Vista, CA 92081

About the Legal Information on This Website

I rely on my experience as a top defense lawyer in my area to personally review all information on this site; however the information offered here should not substitute as legal advice. If you have been arrested or charged with a crime in Vista, please contact a qualified defense attorney.

Map Options

Conjugal Visit Laws by State 2024

California refers to these visits as contact visits. Conjugal visits have had a notorious past recently in the United States , as they were often not allowed to see their family unless it was for brief contact or to speak with them on the phone. Conjugal visits began as a way for an incarcerated partner to spend private time with their domestic partner, spouse, or life partner. Historically, these were granted as a result of mental health as well as some rights that have since been argued in court. For example, cases have gone to the Supreme Court which have been filed as visits being considered privileges instead of rights.

The right to procreate, religious freedom, marital privacy and to abstain from cruel and unusual punishment has been brought up and observed by the court. Of course, married spouses can't procreate if one is incarcerated, and this has been a topic of hot debate in the legal community for years. Although the rules have since been relaxed to allow more private time with one's family, especially to incentivize good behavior and rehabilitation, it is still a controversy within social parameters.

In 1993, only 17 states had conjugal visit programs, which went down to 6 in 2000. By 2015, almost all states had eliminated the need for these programs in favor of more progressive values. California was one of the first to create a program based around contact visits, which allows the inmate time with their family instead of "private time" with their spouses as a means of forced love or procreation.

Washington and Connecticut

Connecticut and Washington have similar programs within their prison systems, referring to conjugal visits as extended family visits. Of course, the focus has been to take the stigma away from conjugal visits as a means of procreation, a short time, and a privilege as a result of good behavior. Extended family visits are much more wholesome and inclusive, giving relatively ample time to connect with one's family, regardless if they have a partner or not. Inmates can see their children, parents, cousins, or anyone who is deemed to have been, and still is, close to the prisoner.

Of course, there are proponents of this system that say this aids rehabilitation in favor of being good role models for their children or younger siblings. Others feel if someone has committed a heinous crime, their rights should be fully stripped away to severely punish their behavior.

On a cheerier note, New York has named its program the "family reunion program", which is an apt name for the state that holds the largest city in America by volume, New York City. NYC's finest have always had their handful of many different issues, including organized crime. The authorities are seeking a larger change in the incarceration system and want to adopt a stance that focuses more on the rehabilitation of the inmate that shows signs of regret, instead of severe punishment for punishment's sake.

Download Table Data

Enter your email below, and you'll receive this table's data in your inbox momentarily.

JSTOR Daily
KLAQ El Paso - KLAQFM

How Pain and Suffering is Calculated in Personal I...

If someone experiences a personal injury due to the negligence or intentional actions of another party, the legal system allows...

Can I File for Divorce If I’m Pregnant?

For some couples, pregnancy can add uncertainty about the future of their relationship. Considering divorce when pregnant is a...

Whistleblower Protections

Whistleblowers play a crucial role in exposing wrongdoing in organizations and government entities. While whistleblowers are...

legal questions
11 Min Read
15th April 2016

Conjugal Visits: Rules and History

The phrase is well known in popular culture – conjugal visits means private alone time with a significant other while in prison. We all understand the connotation of conjugal visits, but allow me to spell it out. Yes, inmates are permitted to engage in sexual relations with their spouse during conjugal visits . However, many times these visitations are not used for intimacy at all. A lot of prisoners who earn this right choose to have family members come to see them, in an effort to remain close with those who matter most. In New York, 52 percent of these visits did not involve spouses.

Where Are Conjugal Visits Allowed?

States That Allow Conjugal Visits

As recently as 1995, 17 states had conjugal visit programs, although federal prisons never allowed it.

Today, only four states still allow conjugal visits: California, Connecticut, New York and Washington.

New Mexico and Mississippi cancelled their programs within the past two years.

How Did the Conjugal Visit Program Start?

Parchman Farm

The very first prison to allow conjugal visits was Parchman Farm (now Mississippi State Penitentiary ). Parchman farm began as a labor prison camp for black men in Mississippi which was a blatant attempt to keep slavery alive 50 years after the end of the Civil War.

Prison authorities believed that if black men were allowed to have sexual intercourse, they would be more productive.

They also believed that black men had stronger sex drives. Therefore, every weekend, women would be driven in by the bus load to fraternize with the prisoners. There was no state control or legal status, the visits were simply thought to encourage surviving a six day work week of harsh labor and conditions, not to mention racist guards.

Over the years, conjugal visits evolved to spending more time with family. Even the aforementioned Parchman Farm had cleaned up the act by the 1960s; visits were sanctioned, furlough programs had begun, and cabins were built so inmates could spend time alone with their significant other. The prison would even provide toys for the family.

Following their model, conjugal visit programs saw a steady and fast rise in use. It was touted as a model of rehabilitation after a reporter paid a visit to Parchman Farm and declared it, “the wave of the future.”

Conjugal Visit Rules

Good behavior is an obvious requirement for earning family and conjugal visitation rights, but there’s a bit more to it than that. For the most part, the rules surrounding family visits are the same; they must be in medium security or lower prisons, and they must not have been convicted of sexual assault . However, each state has their own protocol for selecting which inmates have earned the privilege of family visitation:

Connecticut : Inmates cannot be level 4 or above in close custody (levels are on a scale of 1-5 and refers to how much they are monitored by guards on a day-to-day basis). They cannot be a member of a gang, be on restrictive status, or class A or class B disciplinary offenses within the past 12 months prior to requesting involvement. The spouse cannot come alone ; other eligible family members must participate.
New York : This state and California are the only ones that allow visitation for same-sex couples. Proof of marriage must also exist. Here are the guidelines for New York’s Extended Family Visit Program .
California : Inmates and visiting family members are subject to a search every four hours . See: California Extended Family Visit guidelines.
Washington : There are a long list of requirements that inmates and visitors alike must meet before being allowed to participate in the visitation program. There are a slew of disallowed crimes, along with minimum time served, active participation in a reentry program, and housing status rules to qualify. If there are two family members in the same prison, joint visits can be arranged pending approval.

The length of the visit varies from six hours to an entire weekend, which is determined by the supervisor of the prison on a case by case basis. And just as there are eligibility requirements for prisoners, the same can be said for those who wish to visit them. Apart from the verification of the relationship, visitors must also be free of crime.

If a family member other than a spouse, such as brother or sister, wishes to visit, it will be scrutinized closely.
If a child is participating, a birth certificate showing that the inmate is their biological father is required.
If the inmate is a step-father, he must have been present during the child’s formative years (ages 7-12). There must also be consent from the child’s legal guardian.
The visitor cannot be on parole, or subject to criminal drug charges.

On top of these requirements is a good deal of paperwork which needs to be filled out. With all of the supervision and background checks, it would be extremely difficult for anything sinister to happen. To inmates and their family, visitation is purely about spending time with the one’s they love. So why are so many states stopping it?

Why Have Visitation Programs Been Discontinued?

As previously stated, there were 17 states with visitation programs 20 short years ago; today there are only four. The reasons for this have varied slightly, one of which being public opinion. People just don’t think criminals should have access to anything, much less time with family members. Some even get upset when they learn inmates have access to health care . Most of these people probably fail to realize that those convicted of violent crimes are not allowed to participate in family visitation programs.

Another reason is claims of contraband being snuck in and babies being conceived during these visits. But no numbers are given to back up these claims, and they appear unfounded at best as a result. The Corrections Commissioner for Mississippi even stated that they provide inmates with contraception during their visits. While there are no numbers to back up these claims, they try to use others to convince everyone that it’s too expensive.

The main reason widely given is budget cuts. That was the fallback for Mississippi and New Mexico when they cancelled their programs. In New Mexico, the program cost $120,000 a year . Their 2016 budget totals $6.2 billion . The cost of keeping the program active amounts to less than one-five hundredth of one percent of the state budget. The median household income in New Mexico is $43,782, which means that, divided evenly amongst the average taxpayer, everyone would only contribute about two cents each to a family visitation program. Yet somehow, the benefits don’t outweigh the cost.

Why Should Visitation Programs Continue?

At a rate of approximately $32,000 per year for each inmate, it’s been well documented how much it costs to keep someone in prison. Overcrowding is also a huge problem, which has many causes. But where family visitation comes into the picture is its documented ability to reduce recidivism, which show that 76 percent of those released from state prisons are arrested again within five years. Initial studies have found that visitation programs are responsible for lowering parole violations by 25 percent , but it could be higher than that according to an older study, which suggests recidivism was decreased by 67 percent because of visitation programs.

Conjugal and family visits also reduce occurrences of sexual violence in prisons by 75 percent .

This is a number too large to ignore, because the snowball effect here is that it also drastically lowers the rate of sexually transmitted diseases between prisoners. Then there is evidence that is hard to quantify. Prison guards have stated that prisoners who have access to visitation are generally happier, and are encouraged to keep up their good behavior in order to keep earning visitation privileges, or perhaps even early release. This is why prisons in the four states that still allow it have changed the name from “conjugal visits” to “family visits.” There is more to it than just intimacy; there is connection that these families are trying to maintain. If the prisoner is able to interact with the person or people for whom he will be responsible upon release, it will only motivate them to work harder to never put them through it again.

Lifers in state of California eligible for conjugal visits as well? due gov. Jerry brown recent signed off?

To Phavy do we know what disqualifies a lifer from getting conjugal visits besides being a sex offender and/or domestic violence. I have my husband in a state prison in CA and he has been in prison for 20 years but we needed to find out what qualifies him or disqualifies him from getting visits. Please advise, thank you in advance

The program is allowed for those who have a release date. Unfortunately it is not available for inmates serving life sentences.

If the offender has two non-sexual violent felony strikes in Ca but he has a release date and the visitor was a co defendant on an old case, can the offender get conjugal visits with the visitor if they get married?

Very great article! As much as I advocate conjugal visitation, early justifications are shocking to me. I still hope that in future, the trend will go back to the use of extended visits in more than just 4 states. It also does not appear too expensive, particular since some prisons even charge visitors a fee per night.

Do lifers get conjugal visits if they are in prison for non violence on woman???

It would depend on where they are sentenced and what exactly the offense is, along with how they have conducted themselves while in prison.

I pray they go back to the old way,, but with different intentions I have a question my husband was convicted of corporal punishment on a spouse does he qualify for conjugal visit yes he has a release date

Is there any way a state like FL could reconsider “family visits” I mean my boys miss their father and he was only sentenced 10 years. I was thinking of a petition but I doubt people will view it how you and I do. Just being able to watch a movie together and hang out like we use to would mean so much I can wait for sex but the joy it brings to my boys is much more fulfilling. I mean it’s so backed up in FL they could be making more money if they charged family visits.

Marilyn Wiggins

Amber I will sign a petition if it’s started. The sanctity of family is important.

karen lea pollard-mills

I WOULD SIGN A PETITION ALSO! LETS START ONE NATIONWIDE! NOT JUST FOR EACH STATE!

I believe this would be great. Even if there was a price tag many people would pay it. That would help lower the cost of prisons.

Does anyone know what prisons in New York allow conjugal visits?

In the post, there is a link to the guidelines for New York’s Extended family visit program. Click it to see all the guidelines and how to apply for them. Good luck.

Leslie L Miller

My husband is serving life without! He was convicted at 19, you know they are taking every form of human contact away from human beings and expecting them to just lay down be good and wither away slowly! Why? My husband is now 37, he is not the same person he was , we have been married 12 years together 15, never consummated our marriage! To some of us it’s a religious right if only one time! Changes need to be made in our system! It’s broken if we don’t rethink alot of things all we are going to create is detached MONSTERS, with no concept of real feelings or emotions!

I couldn’t agree more! The love of my life is serving life w/o parole and was 19 also. He’s served 15 years now and has changed, grown up and matured. Have you read about the science that states teens are not fully matured until their mid 20’s and should not be given life w/o parole at such a young age? 11 men were released on this science and more states need to follow suit and parole those who have changed and matured and will not repeat their mistakes! They deserve a 2nd chance. There is a video on this called second chance kids also! Good Luck with your husband!

Jacquelyne Garza

What year where the conjugal visits taken away in California, I think it was 1994 or 1995 or 1996 which one was it ??? Please tell me.

The article plainly states that CA is one of the remaining states allowing such visitation. I’ve also seen them taking place on MSNBC’s Lock Up.

Will inmates who have prior rules violations for drug smuggling into the prison be permitted conjugal visits?

does anyone know the list of things you can take into your conjugal visit?

Go to the prison website

So inmates who have life without the possibility of parole can’t have conjugal visits at all? My guy has been transferred to a level 3 prison now. Does that mean anything?

lizy vicent

I believe anybody that owns 100% of your heart is worth fighting for. Yes, I am boasting because I never adhered to some negative advice from my parents when I was about getting married. There was a war between our two family then my husband was his mothers puppy, his family members used him a lot that he cant make any decision without consulting them. What surprised me most was the moment a 36-year-old man seeks his parent and some family members consent before dating anyone, the worst happened when he was instructed to bring me along to their country home in Rampart, New Orleans, it was risky to accept such invitation.The war between our families started when he finally proposed (that was about 4 years ago), his family gave some conditions if he must wife me (we have to live with them), I was in shock when my husband accepted and was happy with their conditions (so crazy). My family wagged and demanded I should breakup with him immediately.I decided to give him the last shot as a man whom has already taken over 100% of my heart, I took a risk to go spiritual with them by consulting Priest Udene via [email protected] , I dont know how but the spiritual father already knew I was going to consult him. He first of all told me the danger I was into and how my husband has been enslaved since birth, how they keep brain washing him to do their wills.Like the quote that says a person sees clearly only with the heart, I realized that nobody saw what I saw in my husband and thats why I used the help of PRIEST UDENE to put him out of his misery. His eyes where opened by PRIEST UDENE for the first time, his family fell in love with me and granted every of our request, our families have known peace since after the love spell.It is over 2 years after the love spell and my husband has continued to improve every day without interference from his family. I have waited too long to share this amazing piece. Thanks for your time and also to PRIEST UDENE. I knew him through reading some amazing testimonies on blogs.

Tracey Duffy

Are the visits during the weekend or weekdays, usually?

Patricia Monteiro

Me and my fuance plan to marry soon. He is serving a 15 to life sentence and has been in nearly 4 years now. He does not have a release date. He is single celled in a level 4 prison. He has a history of violence. Will he be eligible for conjucal visits upon marriage ?

does patton state hospital allow family visits?

mariah clifton

hi…me and boyfriend are trying to get married in the california state prison but he has a prior domestic abuse charge on him from years ago with his babymomma does that stop us from conjugal visits once we are married?

jackie larbi

Thank god that we do not allow this to happen in are prisons.

Cancel Reply

Notify me of follow-up comments by email.

Notify me of new posts by email.

Current ye@r *

Leave this field empty

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed .

Inmate Search & General Jail Guide

Inmate Search | Inmate Mail | Inmate Phones | Orca Lookup & More

How To Visit An Inmate In Prison | All Your Questions Answered

Table of Contents

Visiting an inmate for the first time is one that is filled with mixed feelings of what to wear, what form of identification to present to the guards, what to bring along as a gift, if kids are allowed in, and other random thoughts like that.

With all these thoughts popping up in your head at the same time, you may end up more confused and frustrated. Not to worry!

This guide contains what you need to know when visiting an inmate for the first time, and perhaps will provide answers to all your confusions.

Types Of Prison Visitations

There are several types of visitation for inmates. Visitation ranges from video visitation, non-contact/telephone visitation, and contact visitation.

Prison Video Visitation

Video visitation is the one that’s mostly being used today. Just like the way you’d use Skye, video visitation can be done even from the comfort of your home.

No Contact Jail Visitation

Non-contact/ telephone visitation is one that involves sitting behind a glass barricade while talking with your inmate on the telephone.

Full Contact Prison Inmate Visitation

Contact visitation is the most common and often preferred by visitors. Here, you are able to sit with the inmate and talk for a short period of time. It even gives you the opportunity to even make contact with your ok inmate, however there’s a limitation to that.

Forms of contact usually allowed include a brief hug, hello, and goodbye. Holding of hands is often frowned at by prison officials.

What To Do Before You Visit A Prison

It is important that before you are granted access to visit your inmate, you must have previously been in contact with him/her. The prison has a visitors list that contains the friends and family members that are allowed to visit.

Some facilities provide inmates a list containing slots for 10 visitors that they wish to include. As such, the inmates must have all the details of the visitors he intends to include In the list, which include: the visitor’s full name, the visitor’s address, the phone number, and at times more other information about the visitor.

So if your inmate does not know all this information, you can send him a mail containing a letter that stipulates your information.

Other facilities may request all prospective visitors of the inmate to fill out a visiting application (some only give out this form based on the wish of the inmate).

How To Apply For A Visitation At The Prison

The visiting application is given to visitors who intend to pay a visit to inmates, however not all facilities will request that you fill a visitors application (most facilities do anyway).

The visiting application is more like a questionnaire that contains a portion in which you are required to fill out your name, address, and questions that seeks to find out if you are a convicted felon, or if you’ve been incarcerated or worked in the department of corrections.

Proceed to answer, fill in your names and answer the questions as truthful as you can because the information provided will be used to perform a background check up on you.

The findings will determine if your visit will be approved or denied.

What Can Make You Denied From Visiting A Friend In Jail?

If the information provided in the visiting application is false.
If you’re a convicted felon.
If you’ve previously served time in a correctional facility, or have worked in the department of corrections.
If you have outstanding warrants.
If there’s a protective order against you or the inmate.
If you are seen as a threat to security at the facility.
If you are on PTI, probation, or parole (although some exceptions can be made to this).
If you’ve already filled a visiting application to another inmate at the facility.

You will only know if your visiting application is approved or denied when your inmate tells you, most institutions will not inform you. Therefore, you must ensure a constant communication with your inmate to ascertain the status of your application.

However, if you’re denied visiting privileges, you have a choice to appeal the decision. Only make sure you file for appeal within the stated time frame.

How To Prepare For A Prison Visitation

If your visiting application is approved by the facility, check the schedule of the visitation hours specified by the institution.

You check visiting hours for some facilities on their website, and be sure to double check if possible, as visiting hours may be changed at any time or even cancelled without notifying you.

A correctional facility may cancel visiting if the facility goes on a lockdown, if an inmate has escaped, or due to reasons known to the facility. An inmate may also be denied visiting privileges if they’re confined in solitary.

Once you are sure of the visiting hours, ensure to take along every needed form of identification on the day you intend visiting your inmate.

Although in most cases you only need your valid state issued identification card or drivers license, some facilities however vary in the type of identification they accept.

Visiting A Jail As A Minor Or With A Minor

If you’re visiting with a child or minor, the facility will require you to first fill out a special visiting with minors authorization form.

When such a minor is above 14, he/she would have to come along with a school issued photo ID or birth certificate before they’re allowed to visit.

Also, minors are not allowed to visit inmates alone, as it is required that they must be always accompanied by a parent or guardian. Inmates who were incarcerated for crimes against a child cannot have access to visits by minors.

Small children or babies may also need to come along with their birth certificate to be allowed to visit, but it is not a must in all cases. When visiting with children, try as much to control them because they’re found causing a nuisance, you can get kicked out from the visiting area.

How To Dress For A Prison Visitation

Every correctional facility has a dress code for visitors thus, if you’re visiting any, ensure to put on the specified dress code else you’ll be refused from visiting.

Here are some things to keep in mind when selecting a dress for visiting inmates:

Do not put on a dress that resembles the inmate’s clothes in design or color, and that of the staff.
Do not visit in medical scrubs or any sort of uniform, as this may pose a threat to the facility’s security.
You must dress in shirts and put on shoes.
Clothes that expose sensitive parts of the body are prohibited.
See through fabrics are not allowed.
Sleeveless shirts are prohibited.
Shorts and skirts that are above the knee or those with slits are prohibited.
Offensive imprints or languages on clothing is prohibited.
Tight clothing which include spandex, leggings, tights are prohibited.
Jewelries are also prohibited, so keep that in mind when dressing.

Sometimes, it is up to the prison guard to scrutinize which kind of dressing is allowed into the prison. To avoid being sent back because of a violation in dress code, you can come with a change of clothing just in case.

Getting Searched At A Prison During Visitation

It is advisable to arrive a few minutes early to the facility when visiting, as you may be required to fill out more paperwork (you may get into trouble if you arrive too early though).

Keep in mind that you’ll be searched from your arrival at the parking lot, your car will also be searched by the prison guards or even security dogs for any incriminating item or one that violates the rules of the facility.

Even when you enter the facility, expect to be searched again usually by pat down or with a metal detector. And If you refuse to be searched, you’ll be banned from visiting.

There are even cases where visitors must consent to strip search before they’re allowed in, but if you’re not comfortable with this, it doesn’t mean you’ll be refused visitation.

Strip searching was mainly done to detect drugs hidden in the body that scanners couldn’t pick. However, it is now a thing of the past as security dogs are used by facilities instead.

What To Take With You On A Prison Visitation

This varies from one facility to another. Some facilities may provide lockers that can be rented for about a quarter to store your belongings in, others do not.

You’re only allowed to bring in your ID, single car key, eyeglasses (if any), some change for use at the vending machine, as you may need it to buy snacks for your inmate while you talk.

If you’re visiting with a baby, you may be allowed to come with a feeding bottle and a change of diaper. Items such as medications, cigarettes are considered illegal, as you can be banned if found in possession of any of these, and possibly charged.

Questions About Visiting A Friend In Jail

If you have about visiting an inmate that was not answered in this article, you can post in the comment section below and we’ll do our best to provide answers to such questions.

Can you kiss on prison visits?

You can kiss during prison visitation at a low risk community prison, however, in many other centres, the case is different. Kissing on a prison visit depends on the type of prison facility where your loved one is incarcerated.

These days, most facilities do their best to prevent direct contact in order to avoid smuggling of drugs and other prohibited substances. If you intend to kiss your loved one, then make sure the rules in the facility permit you to do so.

How long does it take to get approved for prison visitation?

Most prison visitations are approved on a first-come first-served basis. Your request for a prison visit can be approved in less than a week, however the visitation date may vary.

You need to put in every prison visitation request on time so as to factor in the time it may take to process other requests submitted before you, and to give the prison operations director enough time to make adequate preparations for the security and safety of you and other visitors.

What is the process of visiting someone in prison?

For most prisons, you will need to fill out a visitation request online, and submit it for them to get started on processing your visitation request. FOr many others, you will need to schedule a visit through the visitation centre.

How do I visit someone in jail in Canada?

Most prisons in Canada accommodate visits through a visitation centre. You will need to schedule an appointment through the visitation centre for your request to be processed.

Can you wear jeans to visit an inmate?

Members of the public are allowed to wear jeans or any form of clothing to a prison visitation. Notwithstanding the type of clothe you put on, highly sophisticated infra-red sensors will always be at major entry points to scan you for prohibited items.

How many visits do prisoners get a week?

Prisoners are allowed to get as much visits as the prison can accommodate. Most prisons tailor their activities to only accept a number of visitors per day and once this number is reached, other visitation requests are pushed on to the next available day.

Are conjugal visits monitored?

Conjugal visits are usually monitored for the safety of both the inmate and the visitor. A highly trained staff will monitor the activities that happen during the visit to make sure that the visitation conforms with acceptable practices.

Conjugal visits were designed as a means to preserve families and give incarcerated people the opportunity to procreate even while in prison. These days, there are not many prison facilities around the world that still allow conjugal visits from an inmate’s registered spouse.

Can you swear in a letter to an inmate?

If a letter to an inmate contains a swear word, it will be given a second review to determine what to do with it. The level and context of the swearing in a letter will determine if it will be handed over to the inmate, or confiscated for vulgarity.

What happens to your clothes when you go to jail?

When you go to jail, your clothes are locked up in your property. This is a little lock box assigned to all inmates where clothes, keys, wallets, shoes and received books/letters are kept.

How should I dress for a prison visit?

While preparing for a prison visitation, wear something that you feel very comfortable in. Do not put on very oversized clothes that may put you on the spotlight and have the guards second-guessing if you;re hiding something underneath.

Do Death row inmates get visitors?

Yes. Death row inmates are allowed to receive visitors just like any other inmate. Friends and family, loved ones, lawyers, human rights organisations and other religious societies are allowed to visit inmates on death row.

Can you wear a bra in jail?

Inmates are given adequately sized bras in jail to put on. While these bras are issued, it is however the responsibility of the inmate to put them on.

Can you hug an inmate during visitation?

Hugging an inmate can be allowed in certain incarceration facilities, but in some others, a no contact law is usually enforced and must be adhered to.

Your ability to hug a loved one during a prison visitation will depend on the laws guiding that particular institution. Make sure you check in with the regulations before you attempt to hug an inmate.

Can you wear your wedding ring in jail?

A wedding ring is usually considered a sentimental item and thus, inmates are allowed to wear their wedding rings after they are vetted by the security department.

If an inmate poses some degree of threat, or is seen capable of inflicting bodily harm or injury through a ring, then they are denied the ability to wear their wedding ring while in prison.

Can you FaceTime inmates?

It is not possible to facetime with inmates. Electronic gadgets are prohibited in prisons and any inmate found with a mobile phone will face very serious charges which could increase their sentence.

What can you bring to a conjugal visit?

If you’re approved for a conjugal visit, you will be given a list of items that are permitted, and a list of items that are prohibited.

Breaking the law during a conjugal visit may lead to very serious consequences for both the visitor and the inmate.

What is a conjugal visit in jail?

A conjugal visit is a visitation that allows an inmate have some private time for intercourse with a listed spouse. This type of visitation is allowed to help families cope with their intimate desires.

Why are conjugal visits not allowed?

For most facilities, conjugal visits are denied because they pose a great risk to the operations of the prison facility. Most times, prisoners use conjugal visits as an opportunity to smuggle prohibited items like drugs and weapons into the prison facility.

Can you get sperm from an inmate for artificial insemination?

It is impossible to get a sperm from an inmate for artificial insemination. This is a practice that has not been approved in any prison facility. If you intend to conceive, you can request for a conjugal visit if it is allowed, or have intercourse with your partner if they are ever released to attend a funeral or family event.

One Response

Pingback: How To Encourage And Support Friends In Prison - Prison Life

One Conjugal Visit

By nancy mullane.

How long could your relationship last without a kiss? Without more than a kiss? Could you last a year? Two? What about ten? Twenty? In prison, couples are forced to keep their relationships alive in visiting rooms, with 2 second hugs. One two. Let go. So they write letters and make phone calls. Many break up.

But there’s another option. If you’re married or in a domestic partnership, you might be eligible for something called a family visit, also known as a conjugal visit, or on the inside, a booty call. It means a couple can be together, inside prison, alone or with their children for extended visits. They can have privacy and they can have sex.

Back in the 90’s, 17 states allowed prisoners to have these conjugal visits. But things have changed. Earlier this year, Mississippi and New Mexico both ended conjugal visits in their prisons and today only three states, New York, Washington and California allow inmates to have this kind of intimacy.

I’m standing with Myesha Paul at the gate at San Quentin, the prison just north of San Francisco. Because her husband, Marcello Paul is locked up in a California prison, they still qualify for a conjugal visit and she’s letting me tag along.

Myesha is middle aged with short, bleached blond hair and a no-nonsense look in her eye. She’s wearing baggy red sweatpants and a sweatshirt that’s too big. She knows the spoken and unspoken rules to one of these visits. The officers guarding the prison have told another woman who’s come for a visit she has to go back to her car and change before she’ll be allowed inside.

“Her t-shirt is fitting real tight, so yeah, they’re gonna make her change all that,” Myesha says watching the woman walk away. “You go through a lot comin’ up her. It got to the point where I just come up in sweat pants. Baggy sweat pants. Too much of a hassle. I’m not puttin’ on anybody else’s clothes. Leggings are comfortable but they’re not for up in here.”

“Why not,” I ask.

“They’re a little too revealing. They don’t want you to have anything that’s form fitting and although we come with hips and all that, so it’s kinda hard to find that don’t fit around, you know?” Myesha laughs, looking down at her full body. “I just buy some men’s sweat pants and make it work.”

“So when you’re inside, do you bring different clothes to wear for when you’re alone?” I ask.

“Mostly just shorts or comfortable pajamas,” Myesha says. “I don’t usually get dressed.”

Even in California not all prisoners qualify for these intimate visits. Prisoners convicted of a sexual crime or a violent crime against a minor or a member of their family and those serving life sentences are denied conjugal visits. Except for what happens behind closed doors during these officially sanctioned private visits, sex is totally illegal in prison. That means tens of thousands men and women locked up in prisons throughout in America may never be able to sleep next to their partner or have sex, ever again.

As Myesha waits outside the gate, I ask her to describe the process for going inside the prison for a conjugal visit. Looking at the door stamped VISITOR, Myesha says, “I’m waiting for the family visit coordinator to come. (Officer) Foster. He’ll come and he’ll take me in there,” she says looking past the door into a space where officers will check her belongings. “He’ll get my bags and go through them instead of the metal detector. Then I go through the metal detector. I also go inside and pick out some movies, dominoes, that type of thing. Then he’ll grab my stuff, put it in the trunk, and take me down to see my husband.”

Watching Myesha pass through security, I imagine this prison approved sex will happen someplace prison-like, in a tiny room with a bare mattress. They’ll give them an hour.

Turns out, it’s not like that at all.

After passing through a metal detector Officer Foster helps Myesha carry her duffle bag and personal things to the car. It’s his job to escort the previous visitor out, and turn right back around and drive Myesha, in. One in, one out.

It’s a long drive around the edge of the prison, through a big gated checkpoint and up to a small one-story building surrounded by chain-link fence that’s topped with razor wire. An officer looks down from a watchtower nearby.

Marcello Paul, a big man with dreadlocks, gold capped teeth and a beaming smile walks to the opposite side of the locked gate and waits.

When it’s opened, Marcello and Myesha give each other a quick hug, and help carry the bags and pre-ordered food into the apartment.

While Myesha puts the food into the refrigerator, Marcello gives me a tour of the two-bedroom apartment.

There are cabinets with dishes, cups, bowls and plates, a microwave, sink and stove. There’s a table where Marcello says they say grace and play games. In the living room is a puffy black couch and chair. Marcello says it’s black leather. It’s not really leather, but it’s nice.

There are two bedrooms. The first has a worn double mattress on a metal frame. Marcello says he does a pre-clean to make sure everything is intact and washed, and then two days later, when it’s time to go, he cleans everything again, so it’s just the same as when they came in.

Turning from the first bedroom, is a bathroom with a door on it. That’s no small thing inside prison where toilets are public.

Looking into the spare room, a portable baby crib leans against the wall. Some couples bring their children along on a family visit. Myseha and Marcello don’t have any shared children so they spend their weekends alone.

In the middle of the room is a double bed, metal springs sticking out the edge of the mattress. But it’s the large round wet spot in the middle of the mattress we’re both looking at. Marcello says he’ll turn the mattress over and lay down a lot of blankets on top of the mattress.

Standing with Marcello, looking around, if it weren’t for the two officers standing in the middle of the room, it’d seem like a pretty normal apartment.

The officer tells me it’s time to go. Marcello and Myesha get just 48 hours together in the apartment. Once a month.

Myesha says they’ve been together 14 years. They met and fell in love while Myesha, a home health care worker, was taking care of Marcello’s mom. Marcello had committed a robbery before they met and gotten away with it. But eventually, it caught up with him and he was sentenced to 10 years. He’s done five of them.

I think about them all weekend.

Monday morning, I go back and meet up with Myesha as she’s coming out. We sit in her car and talk. She says the weekend with Marcello, “was good. It’s always good. Just don’t like going home.”

“Why?” I ask.

“I’m leaving my husband behind,” Myesha says. “We sat outside and played dominoes on Saturday. After that we went in and watched TV, watched movies.” She says they started with The Wire.

She tells me they pulled the bed into the living room so they could lie together while they watched. They cooked burgers and tacos. They listened to music. And sure, she says, they had sex. I ask if they ever have a conjugal visit when they don’t have sex. Myesha pauses, then says, “No. I mean we might have a conjugal visit where we don’t have as much sex as the one before. But no.”

But she says, for her a conjugal visit really isn’t about the sex. It’s about the smaller, quieter things, like Marcello waking her up in the morning, “It feels good,” she says, “because I don’t get that at home. Ya know. At home I’m sleeping by myself, unless my grandbaby or one of my kids wanna sleep with me. But they’re grown. But they still do sleep with me sometimes. But other than that, ya know, I’m waking myself up in the morning, or the alarm clock is waking me up, or my grandson comes and wakes me up. It’s good to have my husband waking me up.

“It’s the nicest thing about being married,” I say, “isn’t it? Waking up?”

“Yeah,” Myesha says, “Together.”

“Not alone,” I say, “You look up and there’s that person.”

“Yeah. I think he watches me through the night,” Myesha says, “ I know he do cause sometimes I wake up and he’s looking at me. And I do the same to him. Sometimes he’s sleeping and he wakes up and I’m watching him.”

While we’re sitting in her car, talking, her cell phone rings. It’s Marcello calling to make sure Myesha gets home safe.

Even though conjugal visits aren’t allowed in most US prisons, in many countries they’re common. Australia, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, Germany, Israel, Russia, Spain, and Saudi Arabia all allow inmates and their partners to have conjugal visits. Mexico considers them a universal privilege and even allows families to move into prisons and live with their imprisoned relative.

All photos courtesy Nancy Mullane.

Edited By: Sally Herships

Produced By: Kaitlin Prest

Advisory Panel Scholar: Hadar Aviram

Music Composed by: Lawrence English

Categories: Courts ,
Criminal Justice ,
Human Rights ,
Personal/Family
Tagged As: can i have sex in prison , conjugal visit , conjugal visits , episodes and events , families in prison , family and the law , family law , family visits , Get on the Bus , Inside San Quentin , Kaitlin Prest , life of the law , Nancy Mullane , prison , prison and family , Sally Herships , San Quentin , San Quentin State Prison , sex , sex in prison , visitation

Subscribe to Life of the Law

Connect with Life of the Law – Send us your story ideas and comments. Thanks!

Can lifers get conjugal visits?

This is a question our experts keep getting from time to time. Now, we have got the complete detailed explanation and answer for everyone, who is interested!

In spite of the fact that, in the late 1960s, California was a pioneer in the practice of conjugal visits and continues to be one of only four states that permit them now, the crime wave that occurred in the early 1990s ushered in an era of longer and more severe punishments. The legislature took action almost immediately after Travis was found guilty and abolished conjugal privileges for lifers.

Do life convicts get conjugal visits?

At this time, conjugal visits are only permitted in the states of California, Connecticut, Mississippi, New Mexico, New York, and Washington…. For conjugal visits with wives and extended family visits with other members of the inmate’s family, the states of Washington and California even supply trailers or mobile homes for use on the prison grounds.

Can murderers have conjugal visits?

Visits from a conjugal partner are currently permitted for inmates who have been found guilty of sexual assault. Typically, conjugal visits are only permitted in facilities with a medium or lower level of security.

Who qualifies for conjugal visits?

Those who are allowed to visit an inmate in prison include: a spouse or common-law partner with whom the inmate has lived together for at least six months; children; parents; foster parents; siblings; grandparents; and “persons with whom, in the opinion of the institutional head, the inmate has a close familial bond.” Visitors may not themselves be incarcerated.

How long does a typical visit with a conjugal partner last?

It’s kind of like playing home for a couple of days—Ryan has a memory of visits lasting two days, but in other jails, conjugal visits might go anywhere from 24 hours to three days at a time. They may also happen on a regular basis, such as once a month or even more frequently.

Thus, what exactly are the guidelines for conjugal visits?

21 related questions found

What led to the termination of conjugal visits?

In spite of the fact that they could reduce crime and save money, conjugal visits were never really popular in the United States. Authorities, for understandable reasons, restricted their use to prisoners who had established a history of appropriate behavior, and they were not permitted in high security facilities.

What are the upsides and potential downsides of having conjugal visits?

Fosters closer ties within the family…
It inspires people to act in a responsible manner…
Reduces violence. …
It makes the conditions within the prisons safer for the prisoners…
Helps reduce the number of instances of sexual assault within the jail system…
The inmates are able to continue their duties as husbands or wives while they are incarcerated…
Increases the likelihood of success after release…
Helps bring down the number of times prisoners commit new crimes.

Are engagement and wedding bands permitted for inmates?

Wedding bands are allowed to perform.

Is it possible to obtain sperm from a prisoner for the purpose of artificial insemination?

Place: in the state of California As a result of the decision made by the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, which stated that the right to procreate is fundamentally inconsistent with incarceration, the policy of the state prison system in California that prohibits a prisoner from sending a sperm specimen to his wife for the purpose of artificial insemination was upheld.

Do detainees have access to the internet?

The usage of the internet in prisons makes it possible for inmates to maintain contact with the outside world. There are already 36 reporting systems in the United States that deal with inmate health issues using telemedicine… In contrast, the use of smartphones to gain unauthorized access to the internet within a correctional facility is strictly prohibited, just as the possession and use of mobile phones is.

What is the meaning of conjugal visit?

: a visit (to a prisoner from a husband or wife) in which a married couple is able to have sexual relations The inmate’s wife is permitted to visit him in prison for conjugal purposes.

What exactly does it mean to have the conjugal right?

Conjugal rights are rights that are created when a couple gets married. These rights include the right of either the husband or the wife to enjoy the company of their partner. These rights are acknowledged by the law, which applies to both the personal laws (marriage, divorce, etc.) and the criminal laws (requiring payment of alimony and maintenance to a spouse) that govern relationships between individuals.

Is it possible for a felon to visit a federal prisoner?

Only the Warden or Acting Warden has the authority to approve or deny visitor applications from people who have been convicted of a felony. It is the responsibility of the convict to inform the visitor of whether or not the visit has been permitted, and the inmate is obligated to deliver a copy of the visiting guidelines to every visitor who is granted permission to visit.

Why do inmates require financial support?

Jobs in prison provide inmates with opportunities for action as well as a small cash. In some instances, inmates will require money while they are incarcerated because state regulations mandate that they pay for the expenditures associated with maintaining their basic needs. Additionally, inmates will use money to acquire specific personal objects, which may be done in secret or against the regulations of the facility.

Is it possible for an inmate to be there for the delivery of his or her child?

There are times designated as “family” days in jails. If you give them enough notice, they might allow a special visit for the entire family to come there and spend several hours together so that he can get to know his newborn about a week or two after she or he is delivered; this would at least provide you a bit more privacy.

Is it possible to deduct the cost of a prisoner from your taxes?

You are unable to claim an inmate as a dependant on your taxes because, sadly, an inmate is not considered a dependent under the law, even if they are your son or daughter. Because any money you send to an inmate is considered a gift, you cannot deduct the cost of sending that money from your taxes.

Are inmates allowed to have children while they are incarcerated?

The Supreme Court has ruled that inmates are entitled to several fundamental rights, including those based on their privacy. These rights include the ability to get married and have children after serving time in jail or prison.

Are there any federal prisons that do not prohibit conjugal visits?

At this time, conjugal visits, also known as extended family visits, are only permitted in four states, while the federal correctional system does not have any provision for them. California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington are the states that are involved.

What is it like to spend a day in jail?

There are not many things to do, and the most of the day is spent just sitting around doing nothing, thus many inmates who have spent time in jail will characterize it as being extremely dull. There is a legitimate explanation for this: activities are limited. The individual in question will be booked, and the prisoner’s things will be searched and taken into custody; the items will be held for safekeeping until the prisoner’s release.

What will happen to your money if you are sentenced to life in prison?

If the money is already in a bank account under your name, then it will remain in that bank account. Throughout the time you are incarcerated, it will remain in the bank account you have designated for it. The government has placed a freeze on it. If the government has reason to suspect that you benefited financially from the commission of a crime for which you have been accused or convicted, they may freeze all of your assets.

Are conjugal visits good?

For instance, conjugal visits, which are also referred to as family visits, can “improve the functioning of a marriage by maintaining an inmate’s role as husband or wife, improve the inmate’s behavior while incarcerated, counter the effects of prisonization, and improve post-release success by enhancing the inmate’s ability to…,” according to one study.

Do conjugal visits reduce recidivism?

Results: Visitation led to a 26% drop in the number of repeat offenses committed by the inmates. The magnitude of this effect was greatest when applied to male samples (a decrease of 53%), those who had participated in conjugal and furlough visits (36% reduction), and when several measures of recidivism were used (56% reduction).

Are visits between a married couple permitted in Ohio?

Visits from family are not guaranteed to inmates under the Constitution.

In the case of Lyons v. Gilligan (1974), the United States District Court for the Northern District of Ohio ruled that incarcerated individuals do not have a constitutional right to visitation with their spouses while they are serving their sentences.

How much money is an inmate allowed to have in their bank account while they are serving time in federal prison?

The monthly maximum for the commissary is 0. Postage stamps, nicotine replacement therapy (NRT) patches (which many jails no longer supply), over-the-counter medication, copy cards, and copy paper are the only goods that cannot exceed the spending limit. Infractions can be committed anywhere inside the correctional system about monetary matters.

Which felonies cannot be removed from a record?

In most cases, convictions for offenses that involve violence, endangering the safety of minors, kidnapping, sexual assault, robbery, arson, terrorism, as well as causing severe injury or death to another person, are ineligible for expungement.

Official websites use .gov

A .gov website belongs to an official government organization in the United States.

Secure .gov websites use HTTPS

A lock ( Lock A locked padlock ) or https:// means you've safely connected to the .gov website. Share sensitive information only on official, secure websites.

Federal Bureau of Prisons

General visiting information.

Make sure your visit will be a success by carefully following these four steps.

Discover or confirm the whereabouts of the inmate you would like to visit.

Before you can visit you must be placed on the inmate's approved visiting list.

Review all visiting rules, regulations, and procedures before your visit.

Find out when you can visit and get directions to the facility.

Locate the inmate

Sometimes an inmate may be moved to a different facility so that they can benefit from unique programs offered at that location. They might also be moved to receive treatment for a medical condition or for security concerns. Therefore, the first step in planning your visit should be to determine where the inmate is currently housed.

Please verify you are a human by entering the words you see in the textbox below.

To visit, you must be pre-approved.

You can only visit an inmate if they have placed you on their visiting list and you have been cleared by the BOP.

An inmate is given a Visitor Information Form when he/she arrives at a new facility.
Inmate completes their portion of the form and mails a copy to each potential visitor.
Potential visitor completes all remaining form fields.
Potential visitor sends the completed form back to the inmate's address (listed on the form).
We may request more background information and possibly contact other law enforcement agencies or the NCIC
The inmate is told when a person is not approved to visit and it is the inmate's responsibility to notify that person.

Who can an inmate add to their visiting list?

Step-parent(s)
Foster parent(s)
Grandparents
No more than 10 friends/associates
Foreign officials
Members of religious groups including clergy
Members of civic groups
Employers (former or prospective)
Parole advisors

In certain circumstances such as when an inmate first enters prison or is transferred to a new prison, a visiting list might not exist yet. In this case, immediate family members who can be verified by the information contained in the inmate's Pre-Sentence Report, may be allowed to visit. However, if there is little or no information available about a person, visiting may be denied. You should always call the prison ahead of time to ensure your visit will be permitted.

Be Prepared

You should be familiar with all visiting rules, regulations, and procedures before your visit.

The following clothing items are generally not permitted but please consult the visiting policy for the specific facility as to what attire and items are permitted in the visiting room:

revealing shorts
halter tops
bathing suits
see-through garments of any type
low-cut blouses or dresses
backless tops
hats or caps
sleeveless garments
skirts two inches or more above the knee
dresses or skirts with a high-cut split in the back, front, or side
clothing that looks like inmate clothing (khaki or green military-type clothing)

Plan your trip

the prison location
the prison type
inmate visiting needs
availability of visiting space

The inmate you plan to visit should tell you what the visiting schedule is for that prison; however, if you have any questions please contact that particular facility .

General Visiting Hours

Camp general visiting hours, fsl general visiting hours.

Prisons Insight

What Prisons in New York Have Conjugal Visits?

March 27, 2023

As of 2022, only four states in the US permit conjugal visits in their prisons, and New York is one of them. The New York State Department of Corrections and Community Supervisions (DOCCS) still supports these visits through their Family Reunion Program (FRP). DOCCS recommends conjugal visits for several reasons, primarily to promote positive relationships between inmates and their families, and to enable inmates to stay up-to-date on their families’ situations before their release.

However, conjugal visits have been a contentious issue in the United States, and several states have discontinued their programs. In 1993, conjugal visits were permitted in 17 states, and the last state to close its program was New Mexico in 2016.

Despite the controversy, DOCCS continues to encourage conjugal visits as a means of maintaining family bonds and reducing recidivism rates. These visits are closely monitored and have specific eligibility criteria. Inmates must have exhibited good behavior, and their visitors must undergo background checks and adhere to strict rules during their visits.

Overview of conjugal visits in the New York State:

What to expect in a conjugal visit to new york, criteria of prisons in new york state to allow conjugal visits to happen:.

List of prisons in New York state that allows conjugal visits:

Family criteria for Conjugal Visits In New York State

The DOCCS’s Family Reunion Program, which permits conjugal visits, maintains that these visits are essential as they enable inmates to spend intimate time with their spouse or domestic partner.

According to the Family Reunion Program, conjugal visits serve several purposes, including fostering positive relationships between inmates and their families, reducing recidivism rates, and promoting responsible behavior among inmates. The program’s goals are achieved by facilitating visits in a controlled environment, providing counseling services to inmates and their families, and ensuring that all visitors undergo background checks and comply with the program’s guidelines.

The Family Reunion Program implemented by DOCCS recognizes the importance of preserving and strengthening family ties that have been disrupted due to incarceration, and conjugal visits are a key component in achieving this goal.

Research has shown that conjugal programs foster positive and responsible conduct in inmates.
These visits provide inmates with an opportunity to maintain intimate relationships with their partners, which helps to reduce stress and promote mental well-being.
Additionally, conjugal visits have been found to have positive effects on inmates’ behavior, including reducing disciplinary infractions and promoting rehabilitation.

The DOCCS Family Reunion Program enforces strict guidelines regarding the location of conjugal visits. The majority of these visits occur within the confines of 23 correctional facilities that allow for such visits to take place. These visits typically occur within well-furnished rooms, trailers, or cabins, which are equipped with board games and cards to pass the time.

Each facility has two rooms available for conjugal visits, with most visits lasting no longer than 24 hours. However, exceptional cases may be entertained, extending the duration to up to 48 hours.

Before entering the cabin or room, family members must undergo extreme scrutiny, and the DOCCS Family Reunion Program provides a list of approved items that can be brought in. As a result, visitors usually bring only essential items such as food, basic clothing, and an itinerary. Occasionally, visitors may bring a gaming machine to help pass the time.

The DOCCS Family Reunion Program has stringent guidelines regarding the location of conjugal visits, with visits taking place within designated rooms in 23 correctional facilities. Despite these restrictions, visitors are provided with basic amenities to make their stay as comfortable as possible, and the program permits some personal items while maintaining a high level of security.

To understand the criteria for conjugal visits in New York State prisons, it is important to consider the rulings of the US Supreme Court and Federal Courts on the matter.

Both courts have established that conjugal visits are a privilege rather than a constitutional right, granted only to prisoners who have demonstrated good behavior during their time in prison. Additionally, the courts have emphasized the need for strict regulation and have limited conjugal visits to the inmate’s blood relations.

The visits must take place within an enclosed cabin on prison grounds, though exceptionally well-behaved prisoners may be allowed to have visits in a public park. However, prisoners convicted of child or domestic abuse are ineligible for conjugal visits.

The DOCCS Family Reunion Program reflects these court rulings in establishing the eligibility criteria for conjugal visits in New York State prisons.

In order to be eligible for a conjugal visit through the DOCCS Family Reunion Program, certain criteria must be met.

Firstly, inmates must have served at least six months of their prison sentence before they can file an appeal for a conjugal visit to proceed. However, if the prisoner is transferred to a low-security prison, they may apply for a visit after waiting for 30 days. If the request is not accepted within 90 days, the inmate may reapply.
Secondly, the DOCCS Family Reunion Program aims to use conjugal visits as an opportunity for inmates to display good behavior throughout their entire prison term.
Therefore, any reports of disciplinary issues or misconduct may be used to reject the inmate’s application. It is essential that inmates refrain from engaging in any sort of fight or disciplinary issue to maintain their eligibility for a conjugal visit.

These criteria are critical components of the DOCCS Family Reunion Program’s eligibility requirements, which aim to ensure that the program is reserved for inmates who have demonstrated good behavior and have not engaged in any disciplinary issues.

Spouse: The DOCCS Family Reunion Program has specific eligibility requirements for legal spouses of inmates who wish to participate in conjugal visits. Firstly, the inmate must have been married to their spouse for at least six months before their arrest, and their spouse must have no criminal record. Additionally, spouses must possess valid documents during the time of their visit.

It is important to note that even if the family arrives at the conjugate cabin, the DOCCS Family Reunion Program reserves the right to reject the visit if they discover any issues with the eligibility requirements. This ensures that the program is reserved for legal spouses who meet all the eligibility criteria and that the program is not being misused in any way.

Children: Although it is rare, the DOCCS Family Reunion Program does allow children to participate in conjugal visits if they meet certain eligibility requirements. Firstly, children must be 18 years of age or above to participate. In the case of minors, they must be accompanied by an adult if their application is accepted.

However, unaccompanied minor visits may be allowed after a special review and with the approval of the superintendent. This ensures that the program is reserved for individuals who meet all eligibility requirements and that the safety and security of all parties involved are not compromised.

Grandparents: The DOCCS Family Reunion Program permits grandparents to participate in conjugal visits with the inmate.
Foster parents & guardians: In addition to legal spouses, children, and grandparents, the DOCCS Family Reunion Program also permits foster parents and guardians to participate in conjugal visits with the inmate. However, proper verification of their claims must be provided to ensure that only eligible individuals are allowed to participate in the program.
Nieces and Nephews: Under certain circumstances, the DOCCS Family Reunion Program may make special considerations to allow an inmate to meet their nieces and nephews who are above the age of 18. This is done on a case-by-case basis, and the eligibility criteria must be met before such visits are approved.
Siblings: Inmates are also allowed to meet their siblings.
Stepchildren: The DOCCS Family Reunion Program permits an inmate to meet their stepchildren, provided that a written statement from a non-custodial and biological parent is provided. The stepchildren must also be accompanied by their biological parents during the visit. This ensures that only eligible individuals are allowed to participate in the program and all necessary precautions are taken to ensure the safety and security of everyone involved.
Cousins and In-laws: In accordance with the DOCCS Family Reunion Program guidelines, an inmate is not permitted to meet with their cousins and in-laws, including their mother-in-law, brother-in-law, father-in-law, and sister-in-law. While inmates can request a special review for such cases, it is rare for such requests to be approved. In most cases, the DOCCS Family Reunion Program adheres strictly to its guidelines and policies to ensure the safety and security of all parties involved.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are conjugal visits in the context of prisons in new york.

Conjugal visits, also known as family reunion programs, allow inmates to spend extended private time with their legal spouses or domestic partners inside a designated cabin or room within the prison grounds.

Are conjugal visits a constitutional right for inmates in New York?

No, conjugal visits are not considered a constitutional right, but rather a privilege for well-behaved inmates.

Who is eligible for conjugal visits in New York prisons?

Inmates who have served at least six months of their sentence, exhibited good behavior throughout their incarceration, and have legal spouses or domestic partners with no criminal record are eligible for conjugal visits.

Can children visit during conjugal visits in New York prisons?

Generally, children under 18 are not allowed to visit during conjugal visits, but exceptions can be made in rare cases.

Who else can visit during conjugal visits in New York prisons?

Grandparents, foster parents, and legal guardians are allowed to visit if proper verification of their claims is provided. Stepchildren may also be allowed to visit if accompanied by their biological parents and with written consent from non-custodial biological parents.

Can an inmate meet their cousins or in-laws during conjugal visits in New York prisons?

No, cousins and in-laws, including mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, and sister-in-law, are not allowed to visit during conjugal visits. Exceptions can be made through a special review, but it is often not approved.

the DOCCS Family Reunion Program provides the opportunity for conjugal visits to inmates in low-security prisons in the state of New York. However, there are strict eligibility criteria that must be met by both the inmate and their visitors, including having a legal marriage of at least six months, exhibiting good behavior during their time in prison, and passing strict background checks.

The program also has restrictions on which family members are eligible to visit, with blood relatives being given priority over other relatives. The conjugal visits are also subject to strict regulations and are usually limited to enclosed cabins or rooms within the prison grounds. While the program is not without controversy, it provides a means for inmates to maintain a connection with their families and loved ones during their time in prison.

Recent Posts

How Do Technical Masterminds Foster A Culture Of Lifelong Learning And Continuous Improvement - February 23, 2024
How To Download Movie In Isaimini - February 21, 2024
How Does Dotmovies Handle Content Removals And Additions? - February 16, 2024

prisons insight

Welcome to prisonsinsight.com , the premier website dedicated to providing valuable information and insights about the criminal justice system and the realities of incarceration.

Our team is made up of experts in the field of criminal justice, correctional facilities, and prisoner advocacy, all working together to provide the most comprehensive and up-to-date information available.

Latest news

How Do Technical Masterminds Foster A Culture Of Lifelong Learning And Continuous Improvement

February 23, 2024

How To Download Movie In Isaimini

February 21, 2024

How Does Dotmovies Handle Content Removals And Additions?

February 16, 2024

Thank you for your interest in Prisons Insights. We are committed to providing our visitors with the highest quality information and resources on issues related to incarceration, the criminal justice system, and prison reform.

123 Main Street, Suite 456, Anytown, USA 12345

Phone: +1 (555) 123-4567

[email protected]

Skip to main content
Keyboard shortcuts for audio player

Your Health
Treatments & Tests
Health Inc.
Public Health

The Science of Siblings

All grown up, but still fighting why more siblings are turning to therapy, together.

Carrie Feibel

Siblings may not be obvious fodder for the therapist's office, but experts say maybe they should be. "People just don't perceive those relationships as needing the type of attention and tending one might bring to a spouse or child," says Kelly Scott of Tribeca Therapy in New York. Lily Padula for NPR hide caption

The Science of Siblings is a series exploring the ways our siblings can influence us, from our money and our mental health all the way down to our very molecules. We'll be sharing these stories over several weeks.

For decades, patients came to psychotherapy to wrestle with a seemingly fixed cast of main characters: Father and mother. Daughter and son. Spouse. Lover. Boss. Rival.

Siblings sometimes came up, of course. But all too often they appeared as minor characters, lurking in the wings.

Now the emotional influence of siblings on our long-term development is beginning to draw more attention, and some therapists report that more siblings are seeking professional help, as adults, with ongoing conflicts or resentments.

Karen Gail Lewis has specialized in sibling therapy for decades. As she nears 80, she is focused on sharing what she has learned with other therapists. That was the impetus behind her new book, Sibling Therapy: The Ghosts from Childhood that Haunt Your Clients' Love and Work .

In childhood, sibling interactions can be fundamental to shaping who we are, Lewis says. Although parents are extremely influential, siblings are peers, with whom we practice skills of loving and fighting.

"In those early years, you either learn — or you don't learn — to argue and resolve. To use your power more effectively or not. To resolve fights, to tattle," Lewis says. "You learn all the skills that you need for living with another."

Brett, 52, and his sister Mandie, 49, underwent therapy with Karen Lewis after an argument during Christmas in 2019 led to months of them not speaking. (NPR has agreed to identify the siblings in this story by their first names so they can speak frankly about the therapeutic process.)

Brett describes the first few sessions with Mandie as emotionally "pretty rough." But he says after six sessions they not only had repaired their rift, but developed new, healthier ways to interact as adults.

"The fact that you had to go back to things [from] when you were six, seven, eight, nine years old, to get to things you're dealing with in your forties and fifties," Brett says, "it's pretty surprising that there's a connection. But there was."

As adults, strong sibling relationships can affect our emotional well-being and mitigate loneliness in midlife — and help us navigate the aging and death of parents, and eventually, ourselves.

"In the normal course of life, you will have your siblings longer than your friends. You'll certainly have them longer than your partner and longer than your parents. So if you can keep them close enough to be a loving support of you, you're going to be in better shape," says Geoffrey Greif , a professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and co-author of the book Adult Sibling Relationships .

Until recently, sibling relationships , particularly among adult siblings, were understudied by family therapists and researchers. That's changing, but purposely entering therapy with a sibling, to repair or strengthen that relationship, is still not as common as, say, individual or couples therapy.

"People just don't perceive those relationships as needing the type of attention and tending one might bring to a spouse or child," says Kelly Scott , a therapist and Director of Supervision and Training for Tribeca Therapy in New York City. "Relating to our siblings is like, 'You're stuck with me. We're always going to be family. You can't ever actually leave me.' "

While that's technically true (you can't divorce a sibling), experts say taking that bond for granted is risky.

'Every sibling has different parents'

There isn't a lot of research about sibling estrangement, but one study of German siblings found 28 percent reported at least one "episode" of estrangement (defined as either lack of contact or of emotional closeness). The reasons for sibling conflict vary, but common ones include parental favoritism (in childhood and adulthood), disputes over caregiving and childhood abuse by parents or siblings.

What triggered the 2019 argument between Brett and Mandie was something banal, ordinary and irrelevant, both of them say. But they went almost a year without speaking. Brett sent a long email, but Mandie says she couldn't even bring herself to read it, much less reply.

"It wasn't that he was being hurtful. It was [that] the whole thing just was painful. And I was going through so much already with COVID," says Mandie, an emergency medicine doctor in Wisconsin.

Brett lives in California and works in business. Both siblings are married and have kids. As Mandie continued to rebuff him, Brett says he realized they might need professional help.

"There was a disagreement, but it was much deeper than that," he says. "There were things that had been smoldering from a family perspective for a while."

Eventually Mandie agreed that if Brett found a therapist and set up the appointment, she would attend. "I said, 'I have a lot of walls that are built up, and I don't know how this will go. But I'll show up,' " she says.

They had five or six sessions with Karen Gail Lewis. They talked about their childhood, and while both agreed that their family had been close, and that their mom was pretty terrific, they recalled different dynamics with their parents.

"I felt that my parents treated him differently than me. They're harder on me," Mandie says.

Growing up, Brett says he wasn't aware of what Mandie was describing in therapy, but now, as an adult, he listened. "It doesn't matter whether it was right or wrong, it's the way she felt about it," Brett says. "So it's real and I had to deal with that."

The way Mandie and Brett surfaced their different experiences of being parented is important in sibling work, according to Kelly Scott. "Every sibling has different parents. Every sibling has a different upbringing."

Recognizing that emotional truth is as important as discussing the shared memories and bonds, Scott says.

Geoffrey Greif agrees that each sibling has a different perspective on how they were parented: "You can't raise all your children exactly the same. You can't be exactly fair all the time. Someone's going to need more."

Siblings also experience family events (divorce, deployment, fluctuations in income) at different ages, with different reactions and capacities for coping. In a survey of hundreds of adult siblings, Greif found that sibling relationships are characterized by a mixture of affection, ambivalence and ambiguity. Affection was present for most, with 64% describing themselves as good friends with at least one other sibling, and 45% calling a sibling their "best friend."

But ambivalence is also common: Siblings can love each other but also feel competitive or jealous or annoyed with each other. Finally, Gieif found that sibling relationships are often pervaded by ambiguity — uncertainty or doubt about the other's motivations or decisions.

"The other part of ambiguity is 'They don't know who I am today. They still treat me like I'm 16.... They just don't get me and I don't get them, maybe.' "

S tuck in 'crystallized roles'

For Mel and her younger sister Liz, the therapeutic breakthrough came from identifying their different childhood "roles" and finding new ways to relate.

"There were things that we just assumed about each other," Liz says. "We would say, 'Oh, well, Mellie's this way and she's always this way. Or, I'm this way and I'm always this way.' And we had just said it for so long, that we almost wouldn't allow ourselves to grow and admit more complicated feelings."

Mel, 51, is married and has two "wonderful, brilliant" sons with autism and ADHD. She's a paralegal and advocate for kids with special needs.

Liz, 45, doesn't have kids — but she works as a pediatric occupational therapist.

During the pandemic, Mel's sons were struggling under lockdown. They were isolated and had trouble paying attention during family Zoom sessions. Liz offered resources and professional expertise, but she still felt pressure to do more: facilitate the family Zooms, keep her aging parents connected to their grandsons, support her sister and generally put on a happy face.

Until one day, when Liz found she just couldn't do that emotional labor anymore. "I just kind of shorted out," Liz recalls. "I kind of freaked out a little bit and said, 'I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I need a break.' And subsequently, that upset my sister."

For Mel, her sister's withdrawal felt intensely painful. "I was also having a lot of emotions about the world, feeling that the world was rejecting my boys and my family," Mel recalls. "I felt like it was hurting them to have people come in and out of their lives."

And Mel couldn't understand why Liz — her beloved sister — had shut down. "I just didn't know who she was, who she really was," Mel recalls, "And I just didn't know how to have a relationship with her moving forward."

Liz, for her part, bristled at the implication that she had somehow failed her nephews or family. "It, to me, was a huge slap in the face. Because it's like 'Well, nothing I do is good enough, and nobody's acknowledging what I'm doing, you know?' "

They didn't speak for months, and when the holidays came around, just being together felt awkward and strained. But eventually, over email, they decided to try therapy.

Growing up in California, their mom had been physically and emotionally abusive, both sisters say, though most of the abuse was directed at Mel. In therapy, they discussed the "roles" they had come to play in the family: Mel, the family's "black sheep," remembers constantly trying to protect her little sister Liz, who was cast as the family's "golden child."

Although Liz says she avoided much of the abuse, she felt pressured to show up as "the happy one, the giving one, the together one, [the] person who will always help in a time of need." Until the pandemic, that is, when she says she hit a wall: "It wasn't working for me. It was damaging for me," Liz says.

These childhood roles can vary, says Sibling Therapy author Karen Gail Lewis. "The troublemaker, the funny one, the responsible one, the irresponsible one," she says, naming just a few.

The roles aren't necessarily bad, she adds. "The problem comes if it doesn't fit, and if it gets crystallized."

For Liz and Mel, identifying these family roles in therapy was just the start. The hard part was recognizing the complex feelings hidden behind the roles, Liz says.

"I didn't want to explore it," Liz says. "I mean, I already felt so horrible about it, right? I didn't want to delve into it." But they did. They talked about the resentment and jealousy over who got abused and who avoided it, over which sister always seemed to get things wrong and which always seemed to do things right.

"We were in these roles and that's not who my sister is," Mel said. "She's a real person. She's not a porcelain fairy or whatever."

The painful distance between them melted away. "I feel so much closer to her," Mel says. "I feel like I have my sister back."

Liz says she felt unburdened, freed from invisible duties and obligations. Things are also better with their parents, who agreed to attend a few sessions with their daughters.

Because of therapy, Mel realized she sometimes avoided communicating directly with Liz and instead used their parents as go-betweens. "In hindsight that was stupid. But I would use our parents to communicate about certain things or feelings back and forth, and things would get skewed."

A sibling relationship put to the ultimate test

As their therapy drew to a close, Mandie and Brett also found their communications had opened up. They even decided to try another vacation together, and it went well.

But then came some terrible news. Their mom had a bad cough, and had gotten a CT scan. She wanted Mandie, the ER doctor, to take a look at it. "Literally that one day I knew that it was a death sentence," Mandie recalls. "And so I had to call Brett and tell him."

Their mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and it had spread to the lungs. Brett flew out to see his parents and Mandie, and the four sat down to talk. Mandie led the conversation, explaining the clinical challenges to come, and suggesting changes they would have to make to their parents' home, to prepare.

"I was seeing the next couple of months in a whole different perspective than the other three," Mandie says. It was a deeply uncomfortable conversation for Brett. "It was hard because I'm thinking like a doctor and he's thinking like a son."

Brett left the meeting upset, but Mandie followed up later.

"I said 'Brett, that was the hardest moment of our lives, the four of us right there,' " Mandie says. "I think we were able to actually listen to each other and not just close off and shut off."

The illness was swift, just four months. Brett lived far away, but made frequent visits and helped with the caretaking duties. They were especially careful about making sure each of them spent as much time as possible with their mom, without getting in each other's way, while also balancing jobs and families. It took logistics and patience and communication.

Their mother sometimes called Brett and Mandie her "baby birds." That long period when they were estranged, back in 2020, had been painful for her. "She was very aware that we did therapy, and very aware it could have been a totally different situation," Mandie recalls.

"If we hadn't gone through the therapy we went through, we would never have given her the love and the wonderful last four months that she had with us. I think she died happy, knowing that her baby birds were happy in a nest together again."

family relationships
estrangement

IMAGES

Conjugal Visits For Lifers In California Prisons
So What are the Actual Rules with Conjugal Visits?
What is a Conjugal Visit? (with pictures)
Conjugal Visits For Prisoners Are About More Than Sex
How Do Conjugal Visits Work?
Female Prison Conjugal Visits

VIDEO

Van Lifers get PULLED OVER pt 2!!!
VAN LIFERS GET PULLED OVER

COMMENTS

States That Allow Conjugal Visits
In 1993, 17 states had conjugal visitation programs. By the 2000s, that number was down to six, with only California, Connecticut, Mississippi, New Mexico, New York, and Washington allowing such visits. And by 2015, Mississippi and New Mexico eliminated their programs. For the most part, states no longer refer to "conjugal" visits.
Conjugal Visits For Lifers In California Prisons
Conjugal visits, also known as family visits, have a long history in the California prison system. These visits allow incarcerated individuals to spend private, extended time with their spouses or registered domestic partners. Let's take a look at how conjugal visits came to be, how they worked, and which prisons allowed them. When Conjugal ...
The Process and Regulations for Conducting Conjugal Visits in ...
Conjugal visits can be beneficial to inmates. They allow them to stay connected to their spouse. Prison can be a lonely place, so having that connection is so important. But because of the long and complicated history, conjugal visits are becoming a thing of the past. The backlash from society saying the programs are expensive or dangerous ...
PDF Prison Law Office
Each California prison has facilities for "family visits" (sometimes called "conjugal" visits) with "immediate family members." These visits allow a person in prison to be with their family for ... or indeterminate life terms from family visiting. In 2016, the state enacted a law that required the CDCR to change its policy.1 In 2017
PDF KNOW YOUR RIGHTS RESTRICTIONS ON VISITATION
Legal Visits. All inmates have a right to legal visits, but the Sixth Amendment does not require full and unfettered contact between an inmate and his or her attorney in all circumstances. If the state denies a contact visit with a lawyer, however, it must provide a rationale.16. 7 Overton, 539 U.S. at 141 (Thomas, J., concurring).
Conjugal visit
A conjugal visit is a scheduled period in which an inmate of a prison or jail is permitted to spend several hours or days in private with a visitor. The visitor is usually their legal spouse. The generally recognized basis for permitting such visits in modern times is to preserve family bonds and increase the chances of success for a prisoner's eventual return to ordinary life after release ...
How Do Conjugal Visits Work?
A conjugal visit is a popular practice that allows inmates to spend time alone with their loved one (s), particularly a significant other, while incarcerated. By implication, and candidly, conjugal visits afford prisoners an opportunity to, among other things, engage their significant other sexually. However, in actual content, such visits go ...
Conjugal Visits
Conjugal visits began around 1918 at Parchman Farm, a labor camp in Mississippi. At first, the visits were for black prisoners only, and the visitors were local prostitutes, who arrived on Sundays and were paid to service both married and single inmates. According to historian David Oshinsky, Jim Crow-era prison officials believed African ...
Prisons control incarcerated people's relationships and their access to
By the 1940s, conjugal visits were extended to white male prisoners. In the 1970s, female prisoners were permitted visits from their spouses as well. Conjugal visitation spread to other state corrections systems across the country, with some programs only available to spouses and others allowing additional family members.
Death Row Prisoners: Visitation Rights
Conjugal Visits. One type of contact visit is the conjugal or extended family visit. Conjugal visits are usually longer (sometimes lasting a few days) and take place in private rooms or trailers. Prisoners who have conjugal visits with their spouses may have sexual relations. Proponents argue that conjugal visits maintain family ties, and some ...
9 Arresting Facts About Conjugal Visits
9. BRAZIL'S CONJUGAL VISIT POLICY IS QUITE SEXIST. In Brazil, both straight and gay male inmates can receive visitors, but female inmates rarely get the privilege of participating in conjugal ...
Types of Visits
In-Person Visits. Most incarcerated people in the general population may participate in an in-person visit. These visits allow the incarcerated person to sit together with their visitor (s) in a designated shared space, usually furnished with tables and chairs. In-person visits are limited to five visitors at a time and are not limited in ...
So What are the Actual Rules with Conjugal Visits and How Did They Get
In fact, in New York, it's reported that around 40% of conjugal visits don't include a spouse or the like, rather often just children and other loved ones. For this reason, these visits are usually officially called things like "Extended Family Visits" or, in New York, the "Family Reunion Program". As one California inmate summed up ...
What States Allow Conjugal Visits?
Only Four States Still Allow Conjugal Visits. As of 2015, the only states allowing conjugal visits are California, New York, Washington, and Connecticut. Mississippi and New Mexico also had conjugal visit policies before. However, Mississippi halted allowing these visits on February 1, 2014, and New Mexico did the same on May 1, 2014.
An Incarcerated Journalist Explains Conjugal Visits and What Sex in
In 1972, the program opened to the facility's female prisoners. Still, the system was marked by prejudice. "The most important question concerning a program of conjugal visiting," wrote ...
What is a Conjugal Visit and Do California Prisons Offer Them?
A conjugal visit is where an inmate gets to see their family with some slight level of privacy and intimacy. One of the big misconceptions about these visits is that they are purely designed to allow prisoners to have sex. While that may be how the program started and may be part of the experience for married couples, the true purpose of the ...
Conjugal Visit Laws by State 2024
California. California refers to these visits as contact visits. Conjugal visits have had a notorious past recently in the United States, as they were often not allowed to see their family unless it was for brief contact or to speak with them on the phone.Conjugal visits began as a way for an incarcerated partner to spend private time with their domestic partner, spouse, or life partner.
Conjugal Visits
Conjugal Visits: Rules and History. The phrase is well known in popular culture - conjugal visits means private alone time with a significant other while in prison. We all understand the connotation of conjugal visits, but allow me to spell it out. Yes, inmates are permitted to engage in sexual relations with their spouse during conjugal visits.
How To Visit An Inmate In Prison
Do not put on a dress that resembles the inmate's clothes in design or color, and that of the staff. Do not visit in medical scrubs or any sort of uniform, as this may pose a threat to the facility's security. You must dress in shirts and put on shoes. Clothes that expose sensitive parts of the body are prohibited.
One Conjugal Visit
If you're married or in a domestic partnership, you might be eligible for something called a family visit, also known as a conjugal visit, or on the inside, a booty call. It means a couple can be together, inside prison, alone or with their children for extended visits. They can have privacy and they can have sex.
Can lifers get conjugal visits?
The legislature took action almost immediately after Travis was found guilty and abolished conjugal privileges for lifers. Do life convicts get conjugal visits? At this time, conjugal visits are only permitted in the states of California, Connecticut, Mississippi, New Mexico, New York, and Washington….
BOP: How to visit a federal inmate
General Visiting Information. Make sure your visit will be a success by carefully following these four steps. Locate the inmate. Discover or confirm the whereabouts of the inmate you would like to visit. Be Approved. Before you can visit you must be placed on the inmate's approved visiting list. Be Prepared.
What Prisons in New York Have Conjugal Visits?
Overview of conjugal visits in the New York State: The DOCCS's Family Reunion Program, which permits conjugal visits, maintains that these visits are essential as they enable inmates to spend intimate time with their spouse or domestic partner. According to the Family Reunion Program, conjugal visits serve several purposes, including ...
Adult siblings tackle their complicated, lifelong relationships in
"The fact that you had to go back to things [from] when you were six, seven, eight, nine years old, to get to things you're dealing with in your forties and fifties," Brett says, "it's pretty ...

Conjugal Visits For Lifers In California Prisons

History of Conjugal Visits in California Prisons

When Conjugal Visits Started and Why

How They Worked – Requirements and Regulations

Which Prisons Allowed Them and For Which Inmates

Conjugal Cottages/Trailers for Private Family Visits

Debates Around Conjugal Visits in Prisons

Arguments in Favor of Conjugal Visits

Arguments Against Allowing Conjugal Visits

Recidivism Rates – Do They Lower Reoffending?

The End of Conjugal Visits in California

When and Why They Were Banned

Stats on Usage Rates in the Years Before 2003

Reactions to the Ban from Prisoners, Families, Unions

Possibility of Bringing Back Conjugal Visits Today

Why It’s Unlikely to Happen Anytime Soon

Similar Posts

Geckos In Las Vegas: Everything You Need To Know

How Long Is Law School In Texas?

Is Houston A Coastal City? Examining Houston’S Geography And Relationship To The Gulf

New York Vs. Philadelphia: A Detailed Comparison Of The Cities

Is Panhandling Illegal In Texas? An In-Depth Look At State Laws

Can You Have A Pet Alligator In Florida?

How Do Conjugal Visits Work?

What Is a Conjugal Visit?

History of Conjugal Visits

Is the Increasing Cancellation Justifiable?

Conjugal Visit State-by-State Rules

Conjugal Visits: A Typical Experience

Better Understanding Conjugal Visits

Don’t Expect So Much Comf ort

Inmates Are Strip-Searched

Inmates Do Not Have All-time Privacy

Conjugal Visits FAQ

Benefits of Conjugal Visits

Harassment and Cyberbullying as Crimes

History of the Freedom of Information Act

Ineffective Assistance of Counsel

Tort Law Definition & Examples

Bail vs Bond: What’s the Difference?

Conjugal Visits

Our reporting has real impact on the criminal justice system

Stay up to date on our reporting and analysis.

Collective liberation requires collective action.

Prisons control incarcerated people’s relationships and their access to intimacy

Share this:

“It’s hard to know who you can turn to for support”

Using access to intimacy as a means of control

A holistic view of the financial, physical, and emotional costs of intimacy while incarcerated

Tamar Sarai

9 Arresting Facts About Conjugal Visits

1. ONLY FOUR STATES STILL ALLOW CONJUGAL VISITS.

2. THE PHRASE "CONJUGAL VISIT" IS ACTUALLY A MISNOMER.

3. LIKE HOTELS, PRISONS THAT FACILITATE EXTENDED FAMILY VISITS PROVIDE TOILETRIES FOR THEIR GUESTS.

4. BOTH PRISONERS & THEIR VISITORS MUST FULFILL CERTAIN REQUIREMENTS TO GET PERMISSION FOR A VISIT.

5. CONJUGAL VISITS ORIGINATED IN MISSISSIPPI NEARLY 100 YEARS AGO.

6. PRISONERS IN INDIA HAVE THE LEGAL RIGHT, NOT PRIVILEGE, TO BEAR CHILDREN.

7. PRISONS IN SAUDI ARABIA ARE SURPRISINGLY (ABSURDLY!) LIBERAL, LAX, & GENEROUS.

8. IN 2010, A GERMAN PRISONER USED HIS UNSUPERVISED CONJUGAL VISIT TO MURDER HIS VISITOR.

9. BRAZIL'S CONJUGAL VISIT POLICY IS QUITE SEXIST.

Types of Visits

In-Person Visits

In-Person Non-Contact Visits

Family Visits

Scheduling Family Visits

Waitlist for Family Visits

In‑Person Marriage Ceremonies

So What are the Actual Rules with Conjugal Visits and How Did They Get Their Start?

What States Allow Conjugal Visits?

Which U.S. Prisons Allow Conjugal Visits? Which States Have Them?

What Is a Conjugal Visit?

What Everyone Gets Wrong

Conjugal Visits to Help Preserve Families

How Conjugal Visits Work

Is There a Long Waiting List?

Who Is Eligible?

How Often Can Prisoners Have Visitors ?

Where Do Conjugal Visits Take Place?

Can Same-Sex Couples Take Part?

Conjugal Visitation Is a Privilege, Not a Right