miriam margolyes on tour

Miriam Margolyes

A BAFTA award-winning actress, Miriam is known internationally for her many screen and stage roles including Harry Potter, Romeo + Juliet and more...

• Jun 08 Sat East Molesey, Hampton Court Palace Miriam Margolyes & Friends: What the Dickens! View Tickets
• Jul 02 Tue Manchester, Bridgewater Hall Miriam Margolyes View Tickets
• Jul 05 Fri London, Eventim Apollo Miriam Margolyes - Oh Miriam! Live View Tickets
• Jul 12 Fri Bristol Beacon Oh Miriam! Live Miriam Margolyes View Tickets
• Jul 24 Wed Douglas, Villa Marina & Gaiety Theatre Complex Miriam Margolyes View Tickets
• Jul 26 Fri Glasgow, SEC Miriam Margolyes - Oh Miriam! Live View Tickets

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MIRIAMMARGOLYES.COM

"my online portfolio is a resource for directors and producers who might wish to sample my work. i've provided some clips from my films & audio books. should you require more details or even want to check my availability, do not hesitate for a second: contact my agents at once", future events, oh miriam uk paperback release date 4th july 2024 28th february 2024, oh miriam - live uk tour 1st - 27th july 2024 28th february 2024, margolyes & dickens:  the best bits -  edinburgh fringe 7th - 15th august 2024 28th february 2024.

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Miriam Margolyes has announced her biggest tour yet to mark the launch of her new book. 

The BAFTA-winning actress, and one of the UK's most loved and most outspoken national treasures, will visit theatres and concerts halls across the UK and Ireland next September and October. Tickets go on general sale at 10am on December 2. She said:

"My new book is called OH MIRIAM! - something that has been said to me a lot over the years (often in tones of strong disapproval) and it contains lots more revelations and stories and discoveries and I can’t wait to share it with you all."

Miriam Margolyes Upcoming Tour Dates are as follows

Sat September 16 2023 - NOTTINGHAM Royal Concert Hall Mon September 18 2023 - BIRMINGHAM Symphony Hall Tue September 19 2023 - LONDON Palladium Thu September 21 2023 - CARDIFF St Davids Hall Sat September 23 2023 - NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE O2 City Hall Tue September 26 2023 - NORTHAMPTON Royal and Derngate Fri September 29 2023 - OXFORD New Theatre Sun October 01 2023 - BRIGHTON Dome Tue October 03 2023 - SOUTHEND Cliffs Pavilion Fri October 06 2023 - GLASGOW SEC Armadillo Sat October 07 2023 - EDINBURGH Usher Hall Tue October 10 2023 - SHEFFIELD City Halls Wed October 11 2023 - MANCHESTER Lowry Fri October 13 2023 - LIVERPOOL Philharmonic Sun October 15 2023 - HARROGATE HCC Mon October 16 2023 - YORK Barbican Wed October 18 2023 - PORTSMOUTH Guildhall Thu October 19 2023 - POOLE Lighthouse Fri October 20 2023 - PLYMOUTH Pavilions Mon October 30 2023 - DUBLIN Bord Gais Energy Theatre Tue October 31 2023 - BELFAST Waterfront Hall

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Miriam Margolyes Tour Dates

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Miriam Margolyes: Oh Miriam! Live

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Buckle up for an irrepressible, hilarious and moving evening as Miriam shares some of her favourite anecdotes and divulges never-told-before stories and life lessons.

From declaring her love to Vanessa Redgrave to being fed cockroaches by Steve Buscemi, from turnip-based comedy with Blackadder to being farted on by Arnold Schwarzenegger, from Graham Norton's sofa to Alan Cumming's camper van, Miriam’s life has been (and continues to be) an uproarious adventure.

As one of the most recognisable actresses, and now Vogue cover star, Miriam has charmed audiences across TV and film for over sixty years, earning her a special place in our hearts. As Stephen Fry aptly put it, ‘There is no one on earth quite so wonderful as Miriam Margolyes’.

Reliably outrageous and always entertaining, join Miriam in conversation for a riotous evening as full of life and surprises as the actress herself.

Every ticket comes with a paperback copy of ‘Oh Miriam! RRP £10.99

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Miriam Margolyes

11 July 2024

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Event details.

After the success of her sell-out 2023 tour, Miriam Margolyes returns with more, juicy, jaw-dropping stories from her eventful life and career to celebrate the paperback release of her bestselling and much acclaimed book,  Oh Miriam! Stories from an Extraordinary Life.

Buckle up for an irrepressible, hilarious and moving evening as Miriam shares some of her favourite anecdotes and divulges never-told-before stories and life lessons.

From declaring her love to Vanessa Redgrave to being fed cockroaches by Steve Buscemi, from turnip-based comedy with  Blackadder  to being farted on by Arnold Schwarzenegger, from Graham Norton’s sofa to Alan Cumming’s camper van, Miriam’s life has been (and continues to be) an uproarious adventure.

As one of the most recognisable actresses, and now  Vogue  cover star, Miriam has charmed audiences across TV and film for over sixty years, earning her a special place in our hearts. As Stephen Fry aptly put it, ‘ There is no one on earth quite so wonderful as Miriam Margolyes ’.

Reliably outrageous and always entertaining, join Miriam in conversation for a riotous evening as full of life and surprises as the actress herself.

Every ticket comes with a paperback copy of ‘Oh Miriam! RRP £10.99

Theatre — Mayflower Theatre

There are no discounts available

Running Time

Approx. 1 hr 50 mins including an interval

Recommended for ages 14+

No under 2’s allowed

This show will contain strong language

May contain haze effects

This event takes place at

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Commercial Road, Southampton, SO15 1GE  

Street level access to our foyer & Box Office is through the main entrance on Commercial Road.

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Miriam Margolyes

Oh Miriam! Live

Donald gordon theatre.

21 July 2024

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Join us on an unforgettable adventure through the extraordinary life and strong opinions of Miriam Margolyes, live on stage in her biggest tour yet to mark the launch of her new book.

BAFTA-winning actor, voice of everything from Monkey to the Cadbury’s Caramel Rabbit, creator of a myriad of unforgettable characters from Lady Whiteadder to Professor Sprout, Miriam is one of the most recognisable actresses working today.

“My new book is called OH MIRIAM! - something that has been said to me a lot over the years (often in tones of strong disapproval) - and it contains lots more revelations and stories and discoveries and I can’t wait to share it with you all”. Miriam Margolyes

From being escorted off the Today programme (for saying what we were all thinking) to declaring her love to Vanessa Redgrave; from Tales of the Unexpected to Graham Norton’s sofa, she is our most loved and most outspoken national treasure – and Oh Miriam! takes you both inside her head and her heart.

Reliably outrageous and always entertaining, join Miriam, in conversation, for a riotous evening as full of life and surprises as the actress herself.

Every ticket comes with a paperback copy of ‘Oh Miriam! RRP £10.99

Age restriction:  14+ (no under 14s)

Start time:  7.30pm

Running time : approximately 1 hour 55 minutes including an interval

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Miriam’s Big American Adventure

Fresh from The Real Marigold on Tour, Miriam Margolyes embarks on a road trip through middle America

Fresh from The Real Marigold on Tour, actress Miriam Margolyes embarks on a road trip through middle America. It’s not merely a celebration of all things USA, though.

Starting in Chicago, Miriam’s introduced to former Playboy Bunny Candace Jordan, who takes her to a glittering social event. But, eager to witness the side of the city that exists away from high society, Miriam then visits its most dangerous project to meet a former gang member.

Later, she visits Indianapolis for a mass citizenship ceremony, asking why people from other countries still want to become Americans in an era of political volatility.

This programme airs in Scotland at 10.45pm.

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Oh Miriam! The extraordinary Margolyes is at it again!

Expect the unexpected with Miriam Margolyes, who is hitting the road with a tour of Australia in a new show in which she promises there will be no singing or dancing.

There are things you expect in a Miriam Margolyes interview that wouldn’t normally come up in polite conversation. Which is part of her charm, I guess.

Flatulence is one of them. Yes, you heard right.

I try to get it out of the way early in the piece. Her response?

“I’m just farting now,” Margolyes says. This is a phone interview but I’m assuming she’s joking. Or is she?

This British-Australian actor is a raconteur who is known to say things that shock us with the sweetest smile on her face. She has a new book out and is about to embark on a tour with a new show too. Miriam Margolyes: Oh Miriam! Live kicks off in New Zealand on March 11 before heading to Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Brisbane, Canberra and Newcastle.

What should we expect in her show?

“Oh, I don’t know if I would call it a show,” Margolyes says. “It’s a conversation between me and the interlocutor and the audience. Don’t expect any singing or dancing. There might be some clips of things I’ve done. I just come on, sometimes with the aid of a wheelchair, and I talk and hopefully the people will buy my book.”

It’s all about the book, Oh Miriam! Stories from an Extraordinary Life (Hachette Australia: $34.99).

“I don’t read the reviews but I read the balance sheets and a lot of people have already bought it,” she says. “I’m not a writer though, I’m just a lucky old lady who people have seen on television. I’m potty mouthed, I tell salacious and honest stories about what I’m like. It’s a window into Miriam Margolyes, a slightly dirty window.”

How would you describe her? Well, in her own words … “I’m lesbian, I’m short, I’m fat, I’m Jewish, I’m Dickensian.”

Which brings up the subject of Dickens, something she loves to talk about.  Her 1989 one-woman show Dickens Women was a huge hit.

I mention I have recently re-read A Christmas Carol and she agrees that it is a superb book. “Did you see the movie about Dickens, The Man Who Invented Christmas ?” I ask.

“See it? Darling, I was in it,” she says.

How embarrassing. I quickly Google it and, yes, of course, she plays Mrs Fisk. I had forgotten it was her because she has been in so many things one forgets the last time one saw her. She’s rather ubiquitous and has been on the Graham Norton Show so many times even she has lost count.

Now 82, she has had a rich and varied career. After studies at Cambridge University, she started out in theatre, making her film debut in the British comedy A Nice Girl Like Me in 1969. She has appeared in numerous other films including   Little Shop of Horrors, Romeo + Juliet  and a string of other films and is known for her voice work in films such as Babe and Happy Feet.

On television she has appeared in Blackadder (she was hilarious playing several roles in that series) and has also starred in Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Call the Midwife and other programs.

Margolyes  has charmed audiences across TV and film for more than 60 years, including in her adopted Australia. (Her partner, academic Heather Sutherland is Australian, they have a house here and Margolyes became an Australian citizen in 2013.)

Her popular ABC-TV documentary series’  Miriam Margolyes: Almost Australian and Australia Unmasked introduced her to a wider audience.

You may have seen her more recently on ABC-TV in two series of Miriam and Alan: Lost in Scotland, a series of hilarious road trips featuring Margolyes and Scottish comic Alan Cumming.

Cumming is constantly amused and bemused by his companion. It’s worth watching the clip-on YouTube to see Margolyes eating a whole raw onion as they motor along. The look of shock and incomprehension on Cumming’s face is the sort of response many have to Margolyes.

You never quite know what to expect. I guess it’s a case of expect the unexpected.

There will, she promises, be another of her Australian TV series soon with her exploring several regions including an episode where she ranges through the Byron Bay region.

“I loved it there,” she says. “In Byron Bay I steamed my yoni.”

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I am not about to explain exactly what she means by that but will leave you, dear reader, to look it up.

Miriam Margolyes: Oh Miriam! Live is touring nationally, with dates including the Festival Theatre in Adelaide (March 20) and the Concert Hall, QPAC, Brisbane (March 24). 

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The Real Marigold on Tour cast: line-up, where they go and when it’s on BBC One

Miriam margolyes is back real marigold hotel pals to experience retirement in various countries around the world.

The Real Marigold on Tour has returned to the BBC for a third series, with all new adventures for the cast as they travel the world to explore retirement in different countries.

Born from a real life adaptation of the film The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel , which saw a group of British pensioners travel to India to move into a retirement hotel, the TV show follows a group of famous faces as they travel from Russia to Argentina and Vietnam on their exploration of retirement bliss.

And show veteran Miriam Margolyes will be back on camera to take the cast on another adventure.

Who is in the cast?

The All New Monty 2019 cast: the men and women’s line-up for Who Bares Wins has been revealed

Janette Tough and her husband Ian, better known as The Krankies, are new additions to this season’s line-up, though they will be familiar to fans of the previous series  The Real Marigold Hotel , as they were part of the group of celebrities who stayed in a retirement home in India for the programme.

The line up will is rounded off by comedian Syd Little, who is joining the show for the first time.

When is it on?

The latest series kicked off on Wednesday 13 February on BBC One at 9pm, and continues for another three weeks at the same time.

Where is it filmed?

Shetland filming locations: where BBC series is filmed, and all you need to know about the islands

Next on the list of places to visit is Buenos Aires in Argentina where Nicholas, Ferguson, Sleep and Leeming experience the culture that the city has to offer with a visit to a late night tango event. While Nicholas and Ferguson decide they want to learn the tango, Sleep and Leeming enrol themselves into a life drawing class.

The third episode of the series will show the stars heading to Hanoi, Vietnam where Sleep, Shrager, Beacham and Little will experience what it’s like to retire in the country’s capital.

Before another series comes to an end, viewers will then watch as Shrager, Nicholas and the Tough couple make memories in Mexico, Guadalajara and Ajijic. However, things take an unexpected turn for one of the cast, when Tough is propositioned for sex.

Janette told The Daily Express : “She was such a lovely lady who was absolutely fabulous. She said, ‘I have enjoyed your company so much. I’m both ways. When you come back, bring some friends with you and we’ll have some fun’. I said, ‘That’s very nice of you dear. I have enjoyed your company in your beautiful house but I don’t know about the rest of it!'”

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Miriam Margolyes: Oh Miriam! Live

Reliably outrageous and always entertaining, join Miriam in conversation for a riotous evening.

After the success of her sell-out 2023 tour, Miriam Margolyes returns with more, juicy, jaw-dropping stories from her eventful life and career to celebrate the paperback release of her bestselling and much acclaimed book, Oh Miriam! Stories From An Extraordinary Life .

Buckle up for an irrepressible, hilarious and moving evening as Miriam shares some of her favourite anecdotes and divulges never told before stories and life lessons.

From declaring her love to Vanessa Redgrave to being fed cockroaches by Steve Buscemi, from Turnip based comedy with Blackadder to being farted on by Arnold Schwarzenegger, from Graham Norton’s sofa to Alan Cumming’s camper van, Miriam’s life has been (and continues to be) an uproarious adventure.

As one of the most recognisable actresses, and now Vogue cover star, Miriam has charmed audiences across TV and film for over sixty years, earning her a special place in our hearts. As Stephen Fry aptly put it, ‘There is no one on earth quite so wonderful as Miriam Margolyes.’

Every ticket comes with a paperback copy of Oh Miriam! RRP £10.99.

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Miriam Margolyes: ‘I don’t just want to be a foul-mouthed old biddy’

She may be our naughtiest national treasure, but Miriam Margolyes still wants to be admired for her acting. She talks about the joy of later-life fame and the many men – from Jagger to Beatty to Schwarzenegger – who have appalled her

I t took Miriam Margolyes 80 years to write her memoir. Two years on, the actor, documentarian and raconteur extraordinaire has written another – of sorts. Whereas This Much Is True was a (relatively) conventional autobiography, Oh Miriam! is more of a self-help guide: Margolyes’s manifesto for a fulfilled life. Why did she feel the need to write it? “I have to say the reason I did it is exactly the same reason I did the first one. They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.” An advance of £250,000, seeing as you’re asking. “I didn’t particularly want to do it. But I thought I cannot turn down such a huge amount of money because I’m going to need it for carers. So I wrote it.”

Margolyes loves to tell it straight. And the older she gets, the straighter she tells it. She’s also famously filthy – perhaps most memorably telling the story, on Graham Norton’s show in 2011, of how, when riding her bike as a student in Cambridge, she stopped at the traffic lights by an open car with an American soldier inside. “Something crazy took hold of me. You know that feeling. And I said, ‘Would you like to follow me to my college and I’ll suck you off?’” Sure enough, he followed. And very grateful he was, too. “‘Can I come back next week and bring my friends?’ he asked as he left.” What makes her so funny is that she tells these stories in a cut-glass, upper-class RP – every magnificently enunciated syllable sharp as a stab.

She’s worried that Oh Miriam! is a little strait-laced. “I don’t think it’s as rude as my first book, therefore I suspect it won’t do as well. But I think the things I say in it are again absolutely true, and perhaps more serious. And I’m glad of that. I don’t just want to be a foul-mouthed old biddy. A potty-mouth as I’m often called. Because I’m more than that.”

It’s true. She is more than that. But she’s also worrying unnecessarily. With chapter titles such as The Joy of Bottoms, Adventures in Heavy Petting and Always Be a Cunt, I tell her fans of mucky Miriam are unlikely to feel short-changed. “Hehehe! Good, because that’s part of who I am.” And now, she says, is hardly the time to start holding back, whether it’s on Israel and Palestine, the Tories and Labour, Warren Beatty and Mick Jagger, or circumcision and smegma – just a few of the topics we touch on over the next couple of hours.

“What can I do? I have to say what I believe to be the truth,” she says. “Now I’m 82, I don’t give a flying fuck. If I want to say something, I’m going to say it.” At 72 or 62, would she have given one? “Oh no . I’ve always been like this. The only time I’ve been moderate with expressing myself is when I was in America because my adorable Jewish agent said [she adopts a male, nasal, Jewish-New Yorker voice], ‘Miriam, you’re in America now, you can’t talk about being gay and all that stuff, just button up and don’t wear shorts.’” She did button up, hid the true Margolyes, and she failed – her 1992 TV series Frannie’s Turn was cancelled after five episodes.

There is one other time I remember Margolyes being moderate with her expletives – on Desert Island Discs in 2008. Back then, Margolyes was a successful character actor and a regular in costume dramas such as Vanity Fair and Little Dorrit. There were also legendary cameos (Lady Whiteadder and Infanta Maria Escalosa in Blackadder), appearances in the Harry Potter films as Professor Sprout and moments of true glory (a best supporting actress Bafta for Martin Scorsese’s The Age of Innocence in 1994). She has a fabulous gift for accents, voicing everything from animated movies (the border collie Fly in Babe) to lubricious commercials (Manikin cigars in the 1970s) and soft porn (Sexy Sonia: Leaves from my Schoolgirl Notebook).

Margolyes was funny and phlegmatic on Desert Island Discs, but there was something profoundly sad about it, too. “I’m not happy with what I’ve given to the world,” she told Kirsty Young. “I think I’m underused, undervalued and slightly despised. I wanted to do Shakespeare, be at the National, admired as an actress. But at the moment I’m just smiled at as an actress. I want to hurt and astonish as an actress.” She said if she was lucky, she could stretch her career for another 10 years.

That was 15 years ago. Today, she has never been so popular and in a way she never expected to be – as a personality, with multiple new audiences. And it probably all started with the Graham Norton story. Not only did she become a desirable (if high-risk) chatshow guest, she was invited to make documentaries. Over the past five years she has made TV series about Britain’s obesity problem and her own weight struggles, confronting her fear of ageing and dying, and taking road trips through America, Australia and Scotland.

I remind her that she was a model citizen on Desert Island Discs. “Well, I wouldn’t swear on Radio 4! That would be terrible.” She says her parents would have been horrified. Although long gone, they continue to play a huge part in her life. For all her rabble-rousing and dirty talk, she remains desperate to please them. “I had wonderful parents, and they have never let me go and I have allowed them not to let me go.” Is that why she still observes so many Jewish traditions? “Oh yes! It would please them. And I didn’t please them by being a lesbian. I didn’t give them grandchildren. They wanted the whole schmear , the traditional stuff.” When she was 27, she realised she was gay. Soon after, she started dating the Australian academic Heather Sutherland and came out to her mother who was devastated. Today, she says she wishes she’d never told her. She and Heather, a history professor, have been together for 54 years.

Strictly speaking, it’s not true that Margolyes would never swear on Radio 4. But to be fair, on the occasion she did , she was unaware she was still on air. Last October, she appeared on the Today programme to pay tribute to Robbie Coltrane, who had just died. On her way out, she said, “I never thought I’d be sitting in the seat … ” Presenter Justin Webb finished for her: “In the seat Jeremy Hunt has just sat in, you were about to say!” But he was wrong. “When I saw him there, I said, ‘You’ve got a hell of a job, best of luck.’ What I really wanted to say was, ‘ Fuck you, you bastard’ but you can’t say that.” She was quickly ushered out, with apologies to listeners.

For me, it was one of her greatest performances because it was spontaneous. On chatshows, she’s there to outrage, but there was nothing planned about this. I expect her to revel in the memory, but she looks sickened. “I didn’t know I was on mic. I nearly shat myself when I found out. I was practically in tears. The girl who showed me to my car will tell you. I was shaking with shock. Because I would not swear on Radio 4.”

It gave lots of us pleasure, I say, because it was from the heart. “It was from the heart because I said what I felt, but it was a bit of a shock. The producers were delightful about it and that made me feel better because I’m not trying to offend people, I’m trying to change people’s minds, to make them see that the sort of thing going on in parliament and Israel and America is not acceptable. I’m angry and I think other people should be angry, and that’s why I behave like that. Actually I’m an incredibly moral and well-behaved person in public with other people. I don’t want to embarrass and upset people. That’s absolutely not my agenda.”

M argolyes is Zooming from Broken Hill, a mining town in New South Wales (she has dual citizenship of Britain and Australia) where she’s making another documentary series – though it’s all hush-hush. Zoom seems to make her personality even bigger, if that’s possible. She’s right here in my living room demanding to know everything, and answering with unsparing honesty. She takes one look at me and smiles. “Are you Jewish ?” I am, as it happens. “Where are you?” In north London, I say. And she’s off. Margolyes loves to talk about her Judaism – how important the traditions are for her, how she never works on Yom Kippur and how fellow Jews regard her as a heretic because she is so critical of Israel. “I think north London Jews feel I should keep my mouth shut and that I am a terrorist.” In Oh Miriam! she says the living person she most despises is Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu for “fanning the flames of conflict between Israelis and Palestinians, and removing the chance of peace”.

Margolyes grew up in Oxford, the only child of a Scottish doctor and a mother who was artistic and let out flats to students (Margolyes did the cleaning). She says she was spoiled to bits – not materially, but with love. “My parents loved me beyond any love you can imagine. It made me a bit conceited, but it taught me to expect love from everyone.” She attended the prestigious Oxford High school and graduated from Cambridge with a degree in English. At university, she performed in the 1962 Footlights show, alongside future members of Monty Python and the Goodies. As the only girl in the show, she says they treated her with contempt. “They sent me to Coventry. I would go on stage, get the laughs, then I’d come off and was completely ignored.” Did she ask why they behaved like that? “No, I was too crushed. I think they thought I was too full of myself because in those days women were literally not allowed to join the club. Graham Chapman and John Cleese were poisonous. John was a brilliant comedian in his day, but something has turned. Like milk, he’s gone sour. He’s an irrelevance.” She does single out two Pythons for praise, however. “Michael Palin is completely different. He’s a darling, a special man. And Eric Idle is lovely – a friend of mine. He’s incredibly intelligent and very funny. Cleese is a puny tadpole of a person.” Despite this, she loved her time at Cambridge, and says this was when she truly became alive. After university, she moved to London, selling encyclopedias and doing market research for two years before getting a job with the BBC Drama Repertory Company. Since then she’s rarely been without work.

Virtually everything in her life has been shaped out of love for her parents or in opposition to their views, or an unlikely mix of the two. Even her obsession with blowjobs. “Mummy and Daddy said, ‘You behave like a lady, you don’t sleep with people before you’re married’ and, rather like President Clinton, I kept to that.” She looks at me, thoughtfully. “I have a terrible gag reflex when I go to the dentist and sometimes I think that’s the punishment for sucking off.” I tell her I have a theory about her obsession with fellatio – I think you just like saying “sucking off”. She giggles. “Oh yes! It’s funny. Because you can see it happening when you say that. Fellatio could be the name of a road, but sucking off is only sucking off.” She comes to a sudden stop. “I’m just going to fart. That’s it. OK, go ahead.”

M argolyes doesn’t drink and has never taken drugs. “I’m not interested in something you can inhale, take into your body, that changes your mind. I don’t like it.” Is she a prude in some ways? “Oh definitely. Definitely . Someone I recently worked with has a very committed relationship with a woman and he made an assignation, and I was deeply shocked and said so. And everybody thinks, ‘Oh, fuck off, Miriam.’” What kind of assignation? “Well, he met a woman and made a date with her with a view to a horizontal relationship.” Didn’t you cheat on Heather once? “Yes, I did, and I wouldn’t do it again.” It caused huge turmoil, she says. “Don’t gamble with your happiness. Adultery is for fools.”

Margolyes says she’s changed her attitude to lots of things in her life while her parents never did. Can she give an example? “Yes. I moved to the left.” Pause. “And I don’t believe in circumcision. That’s a big thing. I only realised I didn’t like it recently. I don’t like circumcision because you are mutilating a child.” And within a beat, she’s on to smegma. “I don’t think circumcision in itself is a bad thing. In fact it’s probably a good thing because we lose the problem of smegma which is a nightmare for many women.” Like many celebrities, she makes money using the Cameo app, which provides personalised videos for fans. “In my Cameo messages, I often give instructions to young men to pull back their foreskins and give it a good wipe over because it’s very important. But nobody actually seems to say that any more, so I think that’s one of the good things I’ve done in my life; to bring smegma to the forefront of people’s knowledge.”

But, she says, her ambitions extend beyond smegma. She cites her friend Esther Rantzen as somebody who has really made a difference. “Esther founded Childline. She’s created an organisation to challenge loneliness for old people. She’s made a difference to people’s lives. I haven’t done that. I’ve had a lovely time and I’ve made people laugh, I hope, but I’m not sure I’ve got the intellectual fierceness I would like to have.” She says her approach is too scattergun – within a single thought, she can rage against climate change, Brexit, factory farming and “that bastard Rees-Mogg who had the impudence to say the victims of Grenfell lacked common sense”. “The thing is I care about a lot of things, I’m not focused enough on one or two. But I hope to go to Israel and Palestine to make a documentary. Hopefully I’ll be well enough. That will mean I’ve done my duty.”

Margolyes may be struggling physically, but workwise she’s more active than ever. The way you’ve made a difference, I suggest, is as a role model for older people. “Well, that’s good. I’m not exactly vain, but I don’t like the look of myself on television. That’s why I never watch myself. And when I was doing this documentary in Australia, I said to my brilliant director, Helen Barrow, ‘Don’t film me going upstairs with sticks and making a mess of it, I don’t want people to see me looking like that.’ And she said, ‘Well, you should, Miriam, because it gives people confidence that if you look like that and you can still do it, then they can.’”

But she is struggling to come to terms with her increasing frailty. “I do feel a waning of powers. I’ve got spinal stenosis so I can’t walk properly, and many of my dear friends have died, so I’m conscious of time running out. And that makes me slightly hysterical at times because I want to try to do the things I have to do.” At the moment, someone from the documentary team is staying with her to help look after her. “I’m afraid of losing my physical independence. My feeling of disablement has made me make more demands because I get frightened. And that is a new thing. I was afraid of failure before. Getting bad reviews or not being employed. I think all actors have that. But now there is this extra anxiety. The thing that scares the shit out of me is that I might have a stroke because my mother had one and I saw what it did.” Does it scare her more than death? “Yes, and I’m irritated that I should be afraid. Why can’t I just go through and whatever happens, happens? Because you can’t do much about it.”

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One of the things she’d most like to do now is live with Heather on a permanent basis. Despite being together for 54 years, they have never done so. In 1973, she bought a home in Tuscany. “And that’s where I want to end up with the person of my life, together.” But because of Brexit, they can’t do so. “One of the reasons I hate Boris Johnson so much is because he’s fucked about with my life. Brexit means we can’t be in the house I bought 50 years ago for longer than 90 days in every 180. Brexit is an appalling catastrophe. A deliberate appalling catastrophe for which the Tories should fry in hell.”

Is Heather very different from her? “Ah, completely,” she says proudly. “She’s grown-up and ironic and watchful and quiet. And she does not like to be talked about.” Margolyes used to see a therapist who told her she was basically a five-year-old but with a bit of work she could mature into a 12-year-old. Did she succeed? “She said when we stopped, ‘I think you have made it to 12, but you might need top-ups.’” Has she had them? “Sadly no, because she died not long afterwards.” Does Heather bring out the little girl in her? “No, I’m more grown-up with Heather because she won’t have it if I’m not. She’s tough and she’s good for me. I’m a little afraid of her in some ways.” In what way won’t she have it? “All the attributes that are self-regarding she simply withdraws from. She’s just not going to play that game.”

What does she love about you? For once Margolyes is reduced to silence. “I’m lovable,” she eventually says. “That’s what she loves. The bit of me that is vulnerable and kind and intelligent and funny.”

In Oh Miriam! (so called because she’s heard it said so many times), she makes it clear she has more time for women than men: “Most men are arseholes – not all, and the young ones are better.” She describes Boris Johnson’s father Stanley as “the worst old person I know … a complete arsehole”. Why? “I had to live with him for a week in a programme called The Real Marigold on Tour . We went to St Petersburg. Sheila Ferguson, Wayne Sleep and the wonderful Bobby George who is a Tory, a working-class Tory, but a diamond.” She stops to congratulate herself on her tolerance. “I think what’s good about me is I can see beyond the fact that he’s a Tory to the goodness of the man.” And Stanley Johnson? “It was a real eye-opener that he could be as rude, as scornful, as selfish as he was. He was utterly disgusting and shameful, and I have no qualms about saying so.”

Nor does she have any qualms about naming the other men who have behaved badly in her presence. Take Warren Beatty. She briefly appeared in his 1981 film Reds, and claims of the first time they met: “He was sitting at his desk and I was standing in the doorway. He looked me up and down and said, ‘Do you fuck?’ I wasn’t having any of that, so I shot back, ‘Yes, but not you.’” Did she regard it as an abuse of his power? “Well, I don’t think he should do it, but men are like that. If they have a chance to have a fuck, they will. I think he’s probably done it to everybody who’s walked through the door.”

In 2004, she appeared with Beatty’s wife, Annette Bening, in the film Being Julia. Did she tell her what she thought of Beatty? “Oh, of course I did! I can’t remember exactly what I said. I probably said he was a bit of a pillock. But when he came to visit Annette, they invited me to supper with the family, and their relationship seemed to be gorgeous. She’s a terrific person.”

Mick Jagger also gets a dishonourable mention in the book. In 2001 she appeared on stage with his then girlfriend Sophie Dahl in The Vagina Monologues, and Jagger would visit her at the theatre. “He used to come backstage and he was just a miserable cunt. He was unfriendly, and I don’t think he treated her very well. He was much older than her and I thought he was up himself. I never listen to that kind of music anyway. I’m a musical snob, so I wasn’t impressed by him.”

Then there’s Arnold Schwarzenegger, with whom she made the movie End of Days. She says he was so offended at her letting slip a fart in rehearsals that when they were filming her death scene, as he had her pinned underneath him, he “farted, loudly, purposefully and malevolently, directly into my face – and then laughed uproariously”. She wasn’t impressed, and claims: “He was a privileged groper. Not to me because he didn’t fancy me, and I don’t think he liked me. He’s a very boring man.” (Schwarzenegger apologised this year over historical accusations that he had groped women.)

Finally, there’s the comedy actor Leonard Rossiter, with whom who she sat on the council of the performers’ trade union Equity, giving her “first-hand experience of what a horrible man he was. He was a pig. A brilliant actor, but he was absurdly racist, absurdly rightwing, and he was personally rude to people.”

But, she says, she has worked with so many people she loved, many of them now dead. Who does she miss most? She mentions Roger Hammond (who appeared with her in the TV adaptation of Dickens’ Little Dorrit) and Sonia Fraser (who co-wrote Dickens’ Women with Margolyes, as well as directing her in the one-woman show in which she plays 23 characters). “She was my mentor and teacher. I also miss Ken Dodd very much. He was a genius, an intellectual in a way, and very human. He loved connecting to people. I miss Barry Humphries. He was extraordinary, and I knew him from when I was 17, before the greatness. I really do miss him.”

We talk about the self-lacerating assessment she gave of her career on Desert Island Discs 15 years ago – undervalued, underused, despised. “That was quite a long time ago,” she says quietly. Has she changed her mind? “Yes, I don’t think I’m despised. Underused? I think that’s still true. Undervalued? I think people think more of me now than they did then, but I don’t think I’m admired as an actress. I didn’t make it as an actress in the way I would have liked and think I could have. I don’t think I think I have great talent, and I allowed myself to remain fat, and that meant I was hard to cast.” Was that the main thing that held her back? “I don’t know. Look, I’m a funny-looking woman. I really am.”

She’s not thrilled that she’s probably best known as an actor for the Harry Potter films. “Harry Potter has dominated quite a lot of my life latterly and I’m always at pains to say I’ve never read any of the books or seen the films. I fell asleep when I went to the premiere of the two I was in. I’m just not interested in fantasy. I’m bored by it. But I think JK Rowling’s a bloody good writer. If you read the detective stories, they’re fabulous.”

Having said that, she’s hardly complaining. Her career has provided a good living and she is amazed how things have worked out for her in recent years. In June, she was the cover star of Vogue – posing naked, but for a few discreetly placed iced cherry buns. “That is where I was humbled. I could not believe that I was going to be on the cover of Vogue. Not a magazine I particularly respect, or read, but to be on the cover! I can’t ask for much more than I have. The affection with which people greet me is astonishing. I’m puzzled why I should suddenly have become famous and wherever I go people rush at me and say, ‘Oh my God, it’s you , I love you!’” Did people ever say that before? “No, it’s new!” She quotes Gertrude Stein who, when asked what a writer most wants, replied, “Oh, praise, praise, praise, praise, praise.” That’s what she’s wanted, too, Margolyes says . Has getting it made her more content? “Ooh yes! When people come up to you and they’re pleased just to be in your company, well, that’s a wonderful thing.”

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Wed 11 October

Miriam Margolyes - Oh Miriam! Live

Join us on another unforgettable adventure through the extraordinary life and strong opinions of Miriam Margolyes, live on stage in her biggest tour yet to mark the launch of her new book.

“My new book is called OH MIRIAM! – something that has been said to me a lot over the years (often in tones of strong disapproval) – and it contains lots more revelations and stories and discoveries and I can’t wait to share it with you all”.

BAFTA-winning actor, voice of everything from Monkey to the Cadbury’s Caramel Rabbit, creator of a myriad of unforgettable characters from Lady Whiteadder to Professor Sprout, Miriam is one of the most recognisable actresses working today.

From being escorted off the Today programme (for saying what we were all thinking) to declaring her love to Vanessa Redgrave; from Tales of the Unexpected to Graham Norton’s sofa, she is our most loved and most outspoken national treasure – and Oh Miriam! takes you both inside her head and her heart.

Reliably outrageous and always entertaining, join Miriam, in conversation, for a riotous evening as full of life and surprises as the actress herself.

‘There is no one on earth quite so wonderful as Miriam Margolyes’ – Stephen Fry

Please note that every £55 ticket comes with a hardback copy of Oh Miriam!

Audience responses from 2021 tour

‘If you’re thinking of going, do it!’

“Amazing, funny, sweet, kind, a lovely person – even if she is very, very rude.”

“The way she tells her stories…I could listen to her talk for hours.”

“One of best things I’ve ever seen. There is nothing better than an inspiring chat with an intelligent interviewer.”

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Coming soon, spring season, how to find us.

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• Children Shows
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• Family Shows
• Talks and Lectures
• North East England
• Musicals On Tour
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Where would you like to see a show?

What kind of show would you like to see?

• Christmas Shows & Pantos

Look through our regional guides to make the most out of your trip.

• East of England

Miriam Margolyes: Oh Miriam! Live Tour 2023

Join Miriam on another unforgettable adventure through the extraordinary life and strong opinions of Miriam Margolyes, live on stage in her biggest tour yet to mark the launch of her new book.

“My new book is called OH MIRIAM! – something that has been said to me a lot over the years (often in tones of strong disapproval) – and it contains lots more revelations and stories and discoveries and I can’t wait to share it with you all”.

BAFTA-winning actor, voice of everything from  Monkey  to the Cadbury’s Caramel Rabbit, creator of a myriad of unforgettable characters from Lady Whiteadder to Professor Sprout, Miriam is one of the most recognisable actresses working today.

From being escorted off the Today programme (for saying what we were all thinking) to declaring her love to Vanessa Redgrave; from Tales of the Unexpected to Graham Norton’s sofa, she is our most loved and most outspoken national treasure – and Oh Miriam! takes you both inside her head and her heart.

Reliably outrageous and always entertaining, join Miriam, in conversation, for a riotous evening as full of life and surprises as the actress herself.

‘There is no one on earth quite so wonderful as Miriam Margolyes’ Stephen Fry

Audience responses from 2021 tour

‘If you’re thinking of going, do it!’

“Amazing, funny, sweet, kind, a lovely person – even if she is very, very rude.”

“The way she tells her stories…I could listen to her talk for hours.”

“One of best things I’ve ever seen. There is nothing better than an inspiring chat with an intelligent interviewer.”

Please note that every ticket comes with a hardback copy of Oh Miriam!

Here is the full list of dates and venues:

• 16th September 2023 — Royal Concert Hall, Nottingham
• 18th September 2023 — Birmingham Symphony Hall, Birmingham
• 19th September 2023 — London Palladium, London
• 21st September 2023 — St David’s Hall, Cardiff
• 23rd September 2023 —O2 City Hall, Newcastle
• 26th September 2023 — Royal and Derngate, Northampton
• 29th September 2023 — New Theatre, Oxford
• 1st October 2023 — Brighton Dome, Brighton
• 3rd October 2023 — Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-on-Sea
• 6th October 2023 — SEC Armadillo, Glasgow
• 7th October 2023 — Usher Hall, Edinburgh
• 10th October 2023 — City Halls,  Sheffield
• 11th October 2023 — The Lowry, Manchester
• 13th October 2023 — Liverpool Philharmonic Hall, Liverpool
• 15th October 2023 — HCC, Harrogate
• 16th October 2023 — Barbican, York
• 18th October 2023 — Guildhall,  Portsmouth
• 19th October 2023 — Lighthouse, Poole
• 20th October 2023 — Pavilions, Plymouth
• 30th October 2023 — Bord Gais Energy Theatre, Dublin
• 31st October 2023 — Waterfront Hall, Belfast

Miriam Margolyes tour 2023: when do tickets go on sale?

General sale tickets for Miriam Margolyes’s 2023 live tour go on sale on Friday 2nd December at 10am.

There is also the option to buy tickets on presale from 10am on Thursday 1st December for most venues, if you want to make absolutely sure you get to see Margolyes.

What's on elsewhere?

Giselle | English National Ballet

A celebrated production of one of the greatest romantic ballets.

London Coliseum

15 Jan 2025 - 18 Jan 2025

Karen Hauer and Gorka Marquez

De Montfort Hall

13 Apr 2025

Nutcracker | English National Ballet

The magical christmas tradition for all the family.

12 Dec 2024 - 12 Jan 2025

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Friday 5th July 2024

Miriam Margolyes

TICKETS ON SALE AT 15 Dec 2023 10:00am

After the success of her sell-out 2023 tour, Miriam Margolyes returns with more, juicy, jaw-dropping stories from her eventful life and career to celebrate the paperback release of her bestselling book, Oh Miriam! Stories from an Extraordinary Life. Buckle up for an irrepressible, hilarious and moving evening as Miriam shares some of her favourite anecdotes and divulges never-told-before stories.

Every ticket comes with a paperback copy of ‘Oh Miriam! RRP £10.99

Miriam Margolyes has lived in one of London's 'most desirable and trendy' areas since the 70s

M iriam Margolyes has achieved stardom on both sides of the Atlantic since she began gracing screens and stages with her award-winning performances in the 90s.

It wasn't until 2002 that she cemented her name in the industry after putting on a memorable performance as Professor Sprout in Harry Potter.

Despite her professional accolades, the star has chosen a humble life in Clapham, with her two lodgers.

The renters spoke about their unique experience with i News last year.

Emily Cook wrote: “My family and friends think it’s hilarious and ridiculous that I live with Miriam. I do too. But this unusual domestic set-up has become my new norm and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Miriam has been a Clapham local since 1975 when the South London area was still relatively barren.

Since then, progressive gentrification has captured the interest of families and young professionals.

Cafe and restaurant owners have battled an onslaught of closures since the middle classes began flocking to the area in the 80s.

The recent downfall of Clapham High Street’s Crown Post Office stirred uproar among locals, including Miriam, who fought relentlessly to keep it open.

Speaking about the planned closure on TikTok, the legendary actress said: “I am so furious and upset about this.

“That Post Office is efficient and busy, and the thing that has made me the cross of all is that there is no reason for this closure.

"Nobody in Clapham knows why it is being closed. It is popular and central to our community.

“Elderly and disabled people are being pushed to go further afield to get to a Post Office and it’s not that simple for some people to travel.”

Despite losing several landmarks, experts at Penhusrt Properties believe the evolution of Clapham and its surrounding areas have made it “the most desirable and trendy place to live and socialise”.

They added: “With great transport links and Europe’s busiest railway station on the doorstep, Clapham offers spacious commons, vast amounts of bars and restaurants and a friendly family environment.”

LATEST DEVELOPMENTS

・ Helena Bonham Carter is one of many celebrities living in area most Londoners 'want to move to'

・ Four ‘less obvious’ factors that could knock £45,000 off your home's value

・ Olivia Colman owns Grade-II listed property in county 'renowned for spectacular coastline'

Data released by the HM Land Registry suggest house prices in the area continue to climb yearly.

“Overall, sold prices in Clapham over the last year were similar to the previous year and eight per cent up on the 2021 peak of £835,814,” says property experts at Rightmove.

Lambeth Council believes that the large park at the heart of the area adds to Clapham's allure.

"Clapham Common contains many other interesting landscape features including avenues of mature trees," according to the council.

The green space is also home to three pounds used for a mixture of fishing, model boating and wildlife conservation, as well as two woodlands, species-rich meadows and grasslands, and a network of paths.

Miriam Margolyes: Impossible Australian: April 16

This week on abc, miriam travels to byron bay..

• Published by David Knox
• on April 15, 2024
• Filed under Programming

This week on Impossibly Australian, Miriam Margolyes travels to Byron Bay, a beacon of creativity and freedom, and where individualism and influencers thrive.

Here she meets Jade Kevin Foster, a social media powerhouse (whatever that means) and learns the dos and don’ts of the influencer lifestyle, a world that remains incomprehensible to Miriam.

But she finds that the price of freedom is quite steep in Byron, where a housing crisis is breeding homelessness, and where climate change is powering devastating floods through nearby Lismore.

Finally, Miriam meets some local Byron Bay hippies and agrees to get her “yoni” steamed.

8pm Tuesday on ABC.

• Tagged with Miriam Margolyes: Impossible Australian

One Response

This show is an absolute delight that delivers scream out loud hilarious moments of candour that only Miriam can get away with. And I was ‘today years old’ when I discovered she provided the dubbed English voices for several female characters in Monkey Magic and was Lady Whiteadder in Blackadder II (“Wahaaay! That sounds exactly like f…”).

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