cruise ships jokes

50 Best Cruise Jokes, Puns and Sayings that Will Make You Laugh

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The Ultimate Collection of Cruise Jokes, Puns and One Liners

If you love cruising and can use a laugh or two, read on! This collection of 50 of the best cruise jokes, puns and even some funny things overheard on cruise ships, will surely give you a chuckle.

The cruise puns and sayings can also make great captions on social media, and can even be printed on cruise t-shirts and mugs as you get ready for a future cruise !

If you love cruise jokes, memes and cruise travel inspiration , you’ll love our Life Well Cruised facebook page !

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Short cruise jokes

Most of these cruise jokes are family friendly, so you can even teach your children any of them before your next cruise.

1. Ocean waves

What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing. They just waved.

2. Colorful Cruise ship accident

Did you hear about the red cruise ship and the blue cruise ship that crashed into each other at sea?

All the survivors were marooned.

3. Marriage trouble

I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.

4. Latest cruise ship trend

Did you hear the latest trend is installing trampolines on cruise ships? Now everyone is jumping on board.

5. Cruise Ship Talk

What do you call an azipod that doesn’t work?

6. Nervous new cruiser

A nervous first time cruiser asked the Captain, “Do ships like this sink very often?” No, replied the Captain, “Usually only once.”

7. No Leeks allowed

What vegetable isn’t allowed on cruise ships?

8. Cruise crew joke

What’s it like working on a cruise ship?

It has it’s up and downs

9. Christmas cruise joke

Where does Santa go on vacation?

10. Marine life

Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

11. Bermuda Triangle

What would you call the Bermuda triangle if it had 4 corners? The Bermuda Wreck-Tangle

12. The friendly sea

How do we know we know the ocean is friendly?

13. Haunted cruise

What do ghosts eat on a cruise?

14. Mermaids

What does a mermaid use to call her friends?

A shell phone of course!

15. Cruise ship sickness

Where do sick cruise ships go?

Longer cruise jokes

16. on a cruise ship deck.

A man is standing on deck, gazing out at the water. As the ship passes a small remote island, he spots somebody. He squints to make out what he sees – a thin, straggly man with wild looking hair. He watches as the man runs from side to side, jumps up and down and waves his arm.

The cruise passenger turns to the captain and says “What’s up with that guy?” The captain shrugs and replies “I don’t know, but he’s happy to see us every year when we pass!”

17. Sinking cruise ship joke

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea and the cruise passengers manage to escape on life boats. A woman asks the Captain “How far is the closest land?”

“3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad, in which direction?, she asks.

The Captain replied “Down”

18. Inside cabin problems

A couple called down to guest services, complaining that they were stuck and couldn’t get out of their cabin.

“What’s the issue?”, answered the purser. “There are only 2 doors”, replied the woman. “One is the bathroom and the other says Do Not Disturb.”

19. A Pirate in a Bar

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, “Hey, what’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Argh, I’ve got a bounty on my head.”

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

20. Popular cruise comedian joke

The showers in the cruise cabins are so small, I just soap the walls and spin around a few times!

21. Advice from the ocean

Be shore of yourself, come our of your shell, take time to relax and coast, avoid pier pressure, sea life’s beauty, don’t get tide down, make waves!

More travel jokes

22. airplane travel.

What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?

The plane chocolate.

23. Flight trouble

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?

It was overbooked

24. Emotional baggage

I told my suitcase there will be no cruise vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage!

Recommended: 50 Best Gifts for Cruisers 2021 (that are unique & practical)

Funny things overheard on a cruise

Cruise ship crew have been sharing some of the funny things they’ve heard cruise passengers say over the years. We’ve also heard a few things that have given us a chuckle as well.

10 Funniest things overheard on a cruise ship

25. What time is the midnight buffet?

26. What happens to the ice sculptures after they melt?

27. To the Captain – “If you’re here, who’s driving the ship?” ( please don’t say this)

28. Do these elevators go to the front of the ship?

29. Do the crew sleep on board?

30. Is the ocean salt water?

31. When visiting Rome “I’m surprised the ruins are in such bad shape.”

32. How do we know which pictures are ours?

33. How do they get enough water to fill the cruise ship pools while out at sea?

Suggested: 25 Surprising Things You Didn’t Know About Cruise Ships

Cruise puns and one liners

34. I’m struggling with jokes today, so you’ll have to put up with this one liner

Ok, in all seriousness, a good cruise pun often makes a fun, short and sweet Instagram caption, or can even be used on a personalized cruise t-shirt or mug design.

35. Cruiseitude (n) a grumpy mood from lack of cruising

36. Thallosphile (n.) a person who loves the sea, oceans.

37. Sea you soon

38. What happens on the cruise ship, stays on a cruise ship.

39. I’m on vacation and I don’t give a ship

40. Ship happens

41. Feeling a little Nauti

42. Seas the day

43. Sea life’s beauty

44. Keep calm and cruise

45. Sorry, I was ship faced

46. Happiness comes in waves

47. Cruise hair, don’t care

48. I have no cruise control, It’s like they book themselves.

49. I need my vitamin sea

50. Whatever floats your boat

Read next: 25 Inspirational Cruise Quotes for Those Who Love Travel and Sea

Funny Cruise T-shirts, Coffee Mugs and Novelty Items

“Ship Faced” Thermal Coffee Mug

Cruise Mug “I’m just counting the days until my next cruise”

Seriously, this rings true for me every. single. day!

Cruise coffee mug “I don’t give a Ship”

Recommended: Funny cruise ship mug

Funny Cruise t-shirt – “Blame it on the drink package”

Final thoughts: 50 Best Cruise Jokes, Puns and Sayings that Will Make You Laugh and Smile

If you love cruising, I hope this post full of cruise jokes and sayings gave you a little pick me up. If you’re a bit sentimental, and are missing cruise life these days, check out this popular post full of the best cruise travel quotes .

Another post you might enjoy, if you’re a lover of the sea is: 25 Inspirational Ocean Quotes for Those That Love the Sea

Do you have a funny cruise joke, pun or story to share? Please let me know and share in the comments below.

Happy cruising!

P.S. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please don’t keep it to yourself ;-). Please share it with a friend on Facebook or save for later on Pinterest. Thanks so much!

25 Hilarious Cruise Jokes to Tell at Sea

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. We may receive compensation when you purchase via my links at no cost to you. See my disclosure for more information.

If you love cruising, you’ll love our collection of 25 cruise jokes. The collection of puns, jokes, and riddles will give you and your travel friends a chuckle.

Be sure to read to the end to see the 10 funniest conversations overheard on a cruise ship.

Table of Contents

25 Hilarious Cruise Jokes

1. playing cards.

Why couldn’t the passengers play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck.

2. Sick Cruise Ships

Where do sick cruise ships go?

3. Phone Calls

What does a mermaid use to call her friends?

A shell phone, of course.

4. Life as a Crew Member

What’s it like working on a cruise ship?

It has its ups and downs.

5. Inside Cabins

A couple called guest services, complaining they were stuck and couldn’t get out of their cabin.

“What’s the issue?” answered the purser. “There are only two doors,” replied the woman. “One is the bathroom, and the other says Do Not Disturb.”

6. Shower Trouble

The showers in the cruise cabins are so small. I just soap the walls and spin around a few times!

7. Emotional Baggage

I told my suitcase I wouldn’t be taking a cruise this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage!

8. Ocean Waves

What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing. They just waved.

9. Marriage Trouble

I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.

10. Nervous Cruiser

A nervous first-time cruiser asked the Captain, “Do ships like this sink very often?” No, replied the Captain, “Usually only once.”

11. Mechanical Issues

What do you call an azipod that doesn’t work?

12. Bermuda Triangle

What would you call the Bermuda triangle if it had 4 corners? The Bermuda Wreck-Tangle

13. On a Cruise Ship Deck

A man is standing on deck, gazing out at the water. As the ship passes a small remote island, he spots somebody. He squints to make out what he sees – a thin, straggly man with wild-looking hair. He watches as the man runs from side to side, jumps up and down, and waves his arm.

The cruise passenger turns to the captain and says, “What’s up with that guy?” The captain shrugs and replies, “I don’t know, but he’s happy to see us when we sail by!”

14. Christmas Cruise Joke

Where does Santa go on vacation?

15. Sinking Cruise Ship Joke

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea, and the cruise passengers manage to escape on lifeboats . A woman asks the Captain, “How far is the closest land?”

“3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad. In which direction? she asks.

The Captain replied, “Down.”

16. The Friendly Sea

How do we know we know the ocean is friendly?

17. Booze Cruise

On its last night at sea, a cruise ship sails back from the Caribbean. Just before dinner time, the captain gets on the loudspeaker.

“This is your captain speaking. I regret to inform you that there was an error with our provisioning. While there are 2000 passengers on board, we only have enough food for 1000 dinners. However, we have plenty of alcohol, so anyone willing to give up their meal will receive free drinks for the rest of the night.”

A few hours later, the captain gets on the loudspeaker again.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize, but we’ve run out of booze. On the upside, we still have a thousand delicious meals for you to enjoy!”

18. Lost Rolex

A wealthy passenger took a cruise vacation to a tropical island and decided to sunbathe on the beach. Wanting an even tan, he took off his luxury watch and slipped it into his pocket.

Back on board at the end of the day, he realized that his watch was gone—it must have fallen out of his pocket. Too embarrassed to admit he’d lost such an expensive item, he decided not to tell anyone.

A moment later, the Captain’s voice came on the loudspeaker. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is an announcement to the passenger who lost the Rolex Pearlmaster on the beach……The time is now 6:54 PM.”

19. Pier Pressure

What keeps a dock floating above water?

Pier pressure.

20. Breaking News

Breaking news: Passengers trapped on a cruise ship on the ocean for 4 days.

On the bright side, it’s kind of what they paid for .

21. Latest Cruise Ship Trend

Did you hear the latest trend is installing trampolines on cruise ships? Now everyone is jumping on board.

22. Vegetables

What vegetable isn’t allowed on cruise ships?

23. Marine life

Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

24. Bermuda Triangle

25. the magician and the parrot.

A magician worked on a cruise ship, performing the same tricks each week for new passengers.

The captain’s pet parrot came to all the shows and figured out how the tricks worked. He began to shout out during the performances. “It’s up his sleeve,” spoiling the illusions.

The magician was annoyed but couldn’t do anything as the parrot belonged to the captain.

One night, the ship sank. The magician found himself stranded on a desert island, along with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred for days, neither uttering a word.

Finally, after three days, the parrot couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Okay, I give up,” he said. “What did you do with the ship?”

Bonus: 10 Hilarious Conversations Overheard on a Crusie Ship

Passengers partying on the pool deck of Disney Dream in Orlando, Florida

What time is the midnight buffet?
What happens to the ice sculptures after they melt?
To the Captain – “If you’re here, who’s driving the ship?”
Do these elevators go to the front of the ship?
Do the crew sleep on board?
Is the ocean salt water?
When visiting Rome, “I’m surprised the ruins are in such bad shape.”
How do we know which pictures are ours?
How do they get enough water to fill the cruise ship pools while at sea? (I’ll give you one guess)
Is the toilet fresh water? (I don’t know for two reasons. Number 1 and number 2 )

Marcello De Lio

Trending now

Man on a cruise connecting to Princess Cruises MedallionNet Internet on a laptop

50 Funny Cruise Jokes And Puns for Buoyant Mood on Board

Created on: November 9, 2023

Jessica Amlee

Cruise ships are like floating cities where the buildings can’t exceed a few decks and the population is temporarily united by a mutual love of buffet lines and questionable karaoke choices. These nautical behemoths whisk away passengers to exotic destinations, offering a smorgasbord of activities that you probably wouldn’t try at home—like salsa dancing with someone who can’t find the beat, or art auctions where you pretend to understand the difference between a Monet and a mojito. It’s a place where you can wake up to the sound of waves, the sight of an endless horizon, and the gentle reminder that yes, you did indeed sing “My Heart Will Go On” last night… and there’s video proof.

Delving into the briny depths of cruise ship jokes, we find a treasure trove of humor as vast as the ocean itself. Here, you might encounter quips about the eternal quest to locate your stateroom in the labyrinthine corridors that all look suspiciously identical—rumor has it that even the captain uses breadcrumbs. Or jests about the poolside loungers, who stake their claim at dawn with towels and a determination that would impress a conquistador. From the perils of a rogue wave splashing your formal wear to the joy of discovering that “all-inclusive” extends to the soft-serve ice cream machine, cruise ship comedy is about navigating the choppy waters of vacation quirks with a lifejacket of laughter snugly fastened.

Best Cruise Jokes

What do you call a cruise full of college graduates? A Scholar-ship.

Yo mama so old, her first cruise was on Noah’s Ark.

Did you hear about the husband and wife who are banned from cruise ships? After that whole poop deck misunderstanding they had.

What does Joseph say to his wife when they go on a cruise? “It’s marytime!”

What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships? Leeks.

What do you call a ship full of male cats? Tom Cruise.

What do you call a cruise ship filled with skilled artisans? Great Craftsman Ship.

Where do sick cruise ships go to get healthy? The dock.

Did you hear about the woman who fell off the cruise ship? She has been named Eileen Dover.

Yo mama so old, she once cold called Christopher Columbus and sold him a cruise to America

Mr.Rogers once was on a cruise ship, and fell overboard into the ocean. He was then carried safely to shore by a family of sharks.

What do you call a cruise liner full of psychologists? A Freudian ship.

Did you hear that the flat-earth cruise to Antarctica is canceled? It’s disappointing, but not the end of the world.

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today…” The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.” As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too.” The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.” “Coming up,” says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one, too.” The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.” “Coming right up,” the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?” The old woman replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.”

Did you hear about the comedian who performs exclusively on this cruise ship? He specializes in one-liners.

What do you call family reunion on a cruise?? A relation-ship!

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?” “Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.” “But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”

Did you hear about the red cruise ship and blue cruise ship that collided in the Caribbean? The survivors were marooned.

What do you call a cruise ship full of chicken? All Hens on deck!

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

What’s it like working on a cruise ship? It has it’s ups and downs.

What do you call a boat of partying zombies? An ooze cruise.

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea. The people on the ship manage to escape on lifeboats. A woman comes to the captain and asks him, “How far is the closest land?”The captain answers, “3 km.” The woman says after, “In which direction?” To which the captain replied, “Down!”

Two old men are sitting on the deck of a cruise ship. The first one asks, “Have you read Marx?” The other one replies, “Yes. I believe that comes from sitting on these wicker chairs.”

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool? A broad abroad on a board aboard.

What do you call a cruise director with a broken arm? A shore thing.

A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says CRUISES – $100. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him over the head with a baseball bat and throws him into the river. Another man is walking down the street a half hour later, sees the sign, and pays the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him with the baseball bat and throws him into the river. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together and the first man asks, “Do you think they’ll serve any food on this cruise?” The second man says, “I don’t think so. They didn’t do it last year.”

Why don’t secrets ever stay secret on a cruise ship? Because even the waves spill the beans!

What’s a cruise ship’s favorite meal? Ship and dip!

What kind of music do cruise ships like? Anything with a good anchor beat.

Why did the cruise ship start a diet? It had too much cargo on board!

Two Jewish bankers escaped from that sinking Italian cruise ship They were both clinging to a life preserver. One guy, knowing the other can’t swim, says, ” I’m going to try to swim to shore to get some help. Can you float alone?” The second Jewish banker says, “How could you talk business at a time like this?”

Why don’t cruise ships get lonely? Because they’re always full of buoys and gulls!

Why did the cruise ship feel stressed? It was under a lot of pier pressure.

How do you make a cruise ship smile? Give it a little berth.

What’s a pirate’s least favorite thing about a luxury cruise? No plank walking!

A rabbi, a lawyer, and a priest are on a cruise ship when it starts to sink. As chaos ensues and people are running around frantically, the three men huddle together and try to make a grave decision. The rabbi says, “We must save the children!” The lawyer says, “No, screw the children!” Then the priest says, “Do we really have time to screw the children?”

What do you call a cruise ship where the crew won’t stop masturbating in front of passengers? A tugboat.

What do you call a gay cruise? A hardship.

Why was the computer cold on the cruise? It left its Windows open.

An LGBQT cruising ship sinks in the middle of the ocean. Who survives? The flambuoyants.

Recommended : Train Jokes

What does a cannibal say to a waiter on a cruise ship? “Please bring me the passenger list.”

Why was the cruise full of penises and potatoes not popular? It was actually a dick tater ship.

Why don’t black people go on cruise ships? Because they’re not falling for that one again.

Do you have a funny cruise ship joke? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

3 thoughts on “50 Funny Cruise Jokes And Puns for Buoyant Mood on Board”

My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take. I said, “Don’t worry. We are all in the same boat.”

I knew everyone on my cruise, guess it was a pretty good relation-ship!

What do you call an AV company specializing in Christian cruises? Cruise-effects.

627 Cruise Jokes to Keep You Laughing from Port to Port

If you’ve navigated here, it means you’re ready to sail into the world of cruise jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the captains of comedy.

That’s why we’ve charted a course for the most hilarious cruise jokes.

From nautical puns to splashy one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every deck of life.

So, let’s set sail into the vast ocean of cruise humor, one joke at a time.

Cruise Jokes

Cruise jokes are a delightful blend of humor and adventure that can make anyone’s day brighter.

These jokes aren’t just about the ship or the ocean, but also about the unique experiences one encounters during a cruise.

From seasickness to extravagant buffets, fun port visits to relaxing sunsets, cruises provide a sea of opportunities for clever jests.

Crafting the ideal cruise joke involves some nautical knowledge, a good sense of timing, and the ability to navigate through the ups and downs of a cruise journey (like the thrill of spotting a dolphin or the drama of a lost luggage).

Ready to dive into a sea of laughter?

Set sail with these cruise jokes:

What did the cruise ship say to the lighthouse? “I love your light, but you’re a little bit clingy!”
Why do cruises make terrible comedians? Because they always go overboard.
Why did the banana go on a cruise? Because it had a “peel”ing it needed to get away from!
What do you call a cruise ship that can perform magic tricks? The Illusion of the Seas!
What did the cruise ship captain say to the crew when they saw a dolphin? “Everyone, hold your sea horses!”
Why did the cruise ship start a band? Because it had lots of “port”able instruments!
What do you call a cruise with a bad attitude? A ship on a negative voyage!
What did the cruise ship say to the captain? “I’ve got a lot of sail-ing to do today!”
What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptunevigator.
Why don’t cruise ships make good comedians? They always go overboard with their jokes!
Why was the math teacher always happy on cruises? Because they could count on the sea for some much-needed relaxation!
Why did the cruise ship break up with the lighthouse? It just couldn’t see itself settling down.
Why are cruises great for pirates? They can finally take a break from pillaging and start pilling.
Why do cruises make terrible comedians? Because their ship jokes always seem to sail right over your head!
Why did the cruise ship become a comedian? Because it had a “ship”load of funny stories!
What do you call a pirate who works on a cruise ship? A buccaneer of the Caribbean!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite movie genre? Rom-coms, because it loves a good ship romance!
Why don’t cruise ships like lawyers? Because they always bring up anchorman’s law!
Why did the pirate go on a cruise? He heard there was a treasure chest buffet on board!
Why don’t skeleton pirates go on cruises? They’re afraid to “marrow” the ship!
What did the cruise ship say to the captain? “I’m really enjoying our sail-mance!”
Why did the cruise ship bring a map to the party? So it wouldn’t feel lost at sea!
Why don’t cruises ever get lonely? Because they always have a lot of ships to hang out with!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean on their cruise vacation? Nothing, they just waved!
What do you call a cruise ship that never sinks? The unsinkable pun liner!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get lonely? Because they’re always surrounded by waves!
Why don’t sharks go on cruises? They already have a fin-tastic time in the ocean!
What did one cruise ship say to the other ship? “Are you anchor-ing to be funny?”
Why did the cruise ship refuse to date the submarine? Because it didn’t want to dive into a long-distance relationship!
Why don’t skeletons like going on cruises? Because they have no guts to sea!
Why did the math book go on a cruise? It wanted to relax with some pi rates!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to go to the party? It didn’t want to “sea” anyone there!
What did the cruise ship say to the iceberg? “I’m breaking up with you, it’s time to let it go!”
Why did the cruise ship enjoy playing cards? It always wanted to be the captain of the deck!
Why did the ghost go on a cruise? To have a hauntingly good time at sea!
Why did the lobster blush on the cruise ship? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? To get some fresh straw-berries!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s afraid of the water? A sink-o-phobic vessel!
Why do sea captains never get lonely on long cruises? They have a yacht of friends!
Why do cruises never get lost? Because they always follow the seastar’s directions!
Why did the pirate book a cruise vacation? He wanted to experience arrrr and arrrr!
What did the cruise ship say to the ocean? Can I give you a wave?
What do you call a cruise ship that sings? A vessel that’s always “sea-rious” about karaoke!
Why did the cruise ship bring a life jacket to the comedy show? Because it heard the jokes could be “sea”riously funny!
Why don’t cruise ships like to give out free food? Because they don’t want to make a buffet out of themselves!
Why are cruises so good at telling jokes? Because they always have a captive audience!
What do you call a cruise ship that wears a cowboy hat? The captain of the high “sea”stern!
Why did the cruise ship have to go to therapy? It had some serious anchor management issues!
Why don’t cruise ships use email? Because they prefer to send messages in a bottle!
Why did the vampire go on a cruise alone? He couldn’t find a coffin mate!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s also a rapper? S.S. Eminem!
Why don’t pirates go on cruises? Because they already have enough arrrr and bee!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite type of music? Hip hop, because it loves making waves!
What did one cruise ship say to the other ship in distress? “I’ll wave to you from the shore!”
What do you call a cruise ship that’s always running late? The procrastinavigation!
What do you call a pirate who skips classes? Captain Hooky!
Why did the ghost go on a cruise? It wanted to set sail and spook the passengers!
Why did the cruise ship take up painting? It wanted to explore its artistic side-sea!
What do you call a group of cruise ships playing music together? The symphony of the seas!
Why do cruise ships never get lost? Because they always know which way is starboard.
Why did the cruise ship become an opera singer? It had a great set of pipes!
What do you call a cruise ship that goes to the moon? Apollo-n the high seas!
Why was the math teacher a terrible sailor? Because she couldn’t even count on a cruise!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to go to the party? It had too many sterns to be seen at a bow-tie event.
What do you call a cruise ship that can’t stay still? A wavy-vessel!
Why did the math book go on a cruise? It wanted to find the x-axis and y-axis!
Why did the cruise ship always win at poker? Because it had a lot of good hands on deck!
What do you call a pirate who became a cruise ship captain? The sea-rry-go-round!
What do you call a pirate on a cruise ship? A sea-captain hook!
What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a cruise ship? The poop deck, of course!
Why was the cruise ship always smiling? It had a “sea”ntastic captain!
What did the cruise ship say to the iceberg? “I’ve got a sinking feeling about you.”
Why did the pirate refuse to go on a cruise? He was scared of getting a sun “patch”!
Why don’t cruises ever get hungry? Because they’re always on a ship diet!
What do you call a cruise ship that sings all the time? A yacht-y performer!
What did one cruise ship say to the other? “I’m a big fan of your ship, let’s sail away together!”
Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder on board? In case it wanted to reach new heights on the high seas!
What’s a ghost’s favorite thing to do on a cruise? Boo-ry the hatchet!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s gone bankrupt? A “shipwreck-tion” sale!
What did one wave say to the other wave on a cruise ship? “Sea” you later!
Why do cruises make great detectives? Because they always know how to go under cover!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite song? “Rock the Boat” by The Hues Cruise!
Why was the cruise ship so good at basketball? Because it knew how to “hoop” around the ocean!
Why did the pirate refuse to go on a cruise? He didn’t want to “sea” sickness!
Why did the cruise ship’s captain always carry a suitcase full of crayons? In case they needed to “draw” their own route!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to take up painting? It didn’t want to be a seascape artist!
Why did the cruise ship become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to try its hand at ship-tickling!
Why don’t boats like going on cruises? They’re afraid of getting ship-faced.
Why did the cruise ship go to the library? It wanted to check out all the best sea-stories!
What do you call a pirate who loves going on cruises? A sea-captain crunch!
What do you call a cruise ship that sings in a choir? A vocal vessel!
Why don’t cruise ships make good comedians? They always get the punchline wrong – they’re all at sea!
Why don’t aliens go on cruises? They prefer to travel the milky way!
How do you make a cruise ship laugh? You give it a little yacht-y joke!
Why did the cruise ship bring a bar of soap? In case it wanted to wash ashore!
Why did the cruise ship hire a comedian? Because it wanted to keep the passengers in stitches!
Why was the cruise ship so good at sports? It always knew how to sail through the competition!
Why don’t scientists go on cruises? Because they prefer to stay on shipshape!
What do you call a cruise ship that never stops at any ports? A very anchor-avoidant vessel!
Why do seagulls make great comedians on cruises? They always have the best “pier”-less jokes!
Why don’t cruise ships like to play cards? Because they’re afraid of sinking all the clubs and hearts!
Why did the sailor always bring a ladder on the cruise ship? In case he wanted to go overboard!
Why did the cruise ship get in trouble at school? It was always “sea”-king for attention!
Why don’t cruises ever tell secrets? Because they like to keep things shipshape!

Short Cruise Jokes

Short cruise jokes are like the surprise dolphin sighting on a sun-soaked voyage – unexpected, thrilling, and filled with joy.

These jokes are the perfect additions to your vacation photos, social media posts, or a dinner conversation when you want to lighten the mood.

The charm of short cruise jokes lies in their ability to mix nautical humor with a dash of holiday whimsy, delivering smiles in just a few words.

And now, anchors aweigh!

Here are short cruise jokes that promise a wave of laughter in just a few words.

What did the cruise say to the car? You drive me crazy!
What did the cruise ship captain say after finishing a puzzle? Shipshape!
What do you call a lazy cruise ship? A sloooow liner!
Why are cruises so adventurous? They always seek new horizons!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite song? “Row, Row, Row Your Boat!”
What’s a vampire’s favorite way to travel? A “cruise” ship!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
What’s a pirate’s favorite movie? The Titanic, they love sinking ships!
What do you call a cruise ship full of dentists? A floss-tival!
Why don’t scientists trust boats? Because they’re always full of seamen!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
Why did the cruise ship get good grades? It always stayed afloat!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get lost? They always stay on course!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cruise? A sight-sea-ing adventure!
Why don’t skeletons go on cruises? They prefer floating on their own!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What’s a pirate’s favorite mode of transportation? A cruise ship-arr!
Why was the cruise ship always calm? Because it had a “sea”cret!
Why are cruises like weddings? There’s always a lot of “sea” sickness!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite vegetable? The port-a-belly!
What do you call a cruise that’s full of spies? A secret-agent-ship!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don’t fish go on cruises? They already have their own ship!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
What do you call a sailor who can’t swim? Bob!
Why are cruises so good at dancing? They have great ship-hop moves!
Why are cruises so expensive? They’re all about “shore” luxury!
Why don’t skeletons go on cruises? They don’t have the guts!
Why do cruise ships make terrible comedians? They have too many “seas”!
What do you call a boat that loves music? A cruise ship!

Cruise Jokes One-Liners

Cruise jokes one-liners are the epitome of humor distilled into one compact sentence.

They’re the verbal version of a smooth sail across a calm sea – enjoyable, smooth, and undeniably fun.

Creating a delightful one-liner entails a mix of originality, accuracy, and a deep admiration for the art of puns and wordplay.

The objective is to encompass a setup and punchline in one concise form, delivering a wave of laughter with just a few words.

Get ready to embark on a journey of hilarity with these cruise one-liners:

I went on a cruise and gained 10 pounds in a week. Turns out, the dessert buffet was sailing right next to me!
Why don’t cruise ships get sick? Because they have sea legs.
What do you call a cruise for zombies? A flesh cruise! Just make sure to bring extra sunscreen for their pale complexion.
I booked a cruise to the Caribbean, but all I got was a sinking feeling.
Why was the cruise ship so good at telling jokes? It had a great “sea” sense of humor!
Cruises are like floating buffets, except the buffet is always open, and so are your pants.
I went on a cruise and all I got was seasick and a tan line in the shape of a life jacket.
Why did the cruise ship always win at poker? Because it had the best poker face in the seven seas.
Why did the cruise ship go to the gym? Because it wanted to stay in ship shape!
Why did the ghost go on a cruise? It wanted to feel more sea-creature than disembodied spirit!
I asked the cruise ship captain if I could steer, but he said I didn’t have enough sea legs.
Why did the ghost book a cruise? He wanted to get on board with some phantom-tastic entertainment!
What do you call a cruise for math enthusiasts? A “sine” and cosine voyage!
Why did the skeleton go on a cruise? Because it needed to unwind and let loose.
Why don’t cruise ships like social media? They prefer to stay afloat, not a-twitter.
What do you call a cruise with no water? A missed-steak cruise.
Why did the banana go on a cruise? Because it couldn’t peel itself away from the idea of a vacation!
I went on a cruise and ordered a seafood dish, but it turns out it was just a fish disguised as a captain!
The captain announced that we were passing through the Bermuda Triangle, so I started counting my fingers just to be safe.
I went on a cruise and the captain told me to leave my worries on the shore. Turns out, they were the ones that sailed away.
Why did the skeleton go on a cruise? To find himself a marrow mate!
Why do cruise ships make great comedians? They always have a funny boat.
Why did the skeleton go on a cruise? Because he wanted to meet some new body!
Cruises are like floating hotels, except the view from your window changes to another hotel every day.
I tried to book a cruise, but it kept saying “seas unavailable”!
I went on a cruise, but the sea-sickness got so bad that I was voted captain of the hurling team.
Why do cruise ships make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always fall flat on the deck!
Cruises are the perfect opportunity to prove that I can eat my weight in shrimp cocktail and still fit into my swimsuit.
Why do cruise ships make terrible comedians? They always seem to miss the boat!
I went on a cruise and discovered that I have a hidden talent for turning lobster-red in record time.
What do you call a cruise ship with a headache? A vessel in distress!
The captain on my cruise announced that we were going to have a dance party on the deck, but all I saw were a bunch of dads awkwardly trying to do the Macarena.
Why did the cruise ship get a job at the bakery? It kneaded some dough!
What’s a pirate’s favorite place to go on a cruise? The bounty buffet!
Why did the pirate go on a cruise? He wanted to search for some arrrrrrtistic treasure!
I signed up for a comedy cruise, but it didn’t float my boat.
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? It wanted to sow its wild oats!
I tried to book a cruise, but they said I was a little too ship-faced.
My friend went on a cruise and said it was a real eye-opener. Apparently, the ship ran out of coffee and he had to drink tea instead!
I went on a cruise and realized the ocean is just one big, watery treadmill.
I got kicked off a cruise ship for starting a conga line in the middle of a buffet. I guess they weren’t ready for my moves!
Why did the seagull refuse to go on a cruise? He didn’t want to be caught in a “fowl” play!
I told the cruise ship captain that he should invest in a good GPS. He said, “No need, I’ve got a great sense of direction. I’m a captain, after all!”
What did the cruise ship say when it saw a dolphin doing tricks? “You’re flipping amazing!”
I asked the captain if we were going to hit an iceberg. He said, “Iceberg? I haven’t even met her!”
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? Because he needed to get away from all the corny jokes!
I went on a cruise and all I got was seasick and a severe case of FOMO.
Why did the cruise ship become a musician? It wanted to rock the boat!
I went on a cruise and discovered that the ship was haunted. Turns out it was just the captain’s terrible singing.
Cruises are like floating hotels, except you have to pay extra for the waves to rock you to sleep.
Why did the ghost go on a cruise? To find the spirit of adventure!
I went on a cruise, but all I got was this lousy tan and a few extra pounds.
I went on a cruise and realized I have a talent for getting seasick on dry land too.
My friend said the cruise was an adventure of a lifetime. I guess he’s never been to the DMV.
I asked the cruise captain for a raise, but he said it was against his “ship policy”!
Why did the cruise ship go to the bakery? It wanted a slice of life on the high seas.
I’m thinking of starting a cruise line for introverts. It’ll be called “The No-Interaction Ship!”
Why did the cruise ship refuse to play hide and seek? It said, “I’m too big to fit in any hideaway!”
I went on a diet cruise, but I sank it with my weight!
Why did the cruise ship blush? Because it saw the ocean “flirting” with it!
Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It had too many emotional anchors.
I went on a cruise, but the ship was so small it could only be described as a buoy-band!
I went on a cruise and discovered that my favorite actor was also on board. It was a real “celebrity sea-sighting”!
I went on a cruise and the captain said, “There’s only one rule: no swimming in the buffet.”
I signed up for a singles cruise, but it turns out the only fish I caught was food poisoning.
What do you call a pirate that skipped his cruise? A buccaneer of responsibility.
Why don’t pirates go on cruises? They can’t stand all those legal arrrrrrrr-angements.
I asked the cruise ship if it had any relationship advice. It said, “Just go with the flow and avoid any rocky situations!”
I accidentally signed up for a nudist cruise. Let’s just say, I had a lot of “exposure” to the open sea.
Why did the cruise ship chef become a comedian? He wanted to serve up some hilarious jokes with a side of laughter.
I went on a cruise and all I got was this lousy sense of seasickness.
The best part about going on a cruise is pretending to be a castaway on the buffet island.
Why did the cruise ship captain always bring a ladder to meetings? Because he wanted to climb the corporate ladder.
I went on a cruise and came back with a sinking feeling.
Why did the cruise ship become a magician? It wanted to perform disappearing acts at the buffet!
What do you call a pirate who takes a vacation on a cruise ship? A relaxed rrrrrrrr-ogue!
I tried to make a joke about a cruise ship, but it sailed right over everyone’s head!
I joined a cruise ship band, but it was hard to stay afloat with all the musical notes.
I went on a cruise and the captain said, “All aboard!” So I replied, “But I just got here!”
I booked a cruise and the travel agent told me it was all-inclusive. Little did I know, they meant the weight gain.
I tried to flirt with the captain on a cruise, but he just told me to set sail for the friend zone.
Why did the cruise ship sink? It didn’t have a good sense of buoyancy!
I tried to take a nap on the cruise, but the waves kept rocking me awake.
I went on a cruise and met a professional diver. Turns out, he was just “plunging” for attention.
I was excited about the buffet on the cruise until I realized it was just a floating version of my fridge.
I went on a cruise, but all I got was a sinking feeling that I paid too much for this vacation!
Why did the cruise ship break up with the ocean? It said they needed some space!
Cruising is the only time I’ve ever seen people willingly wait in line for 30 minutes to get on a floating hotel.
I told my wife I wanted to go on a singles cruise. She packed my bags and said, “Enjoy!”
What do you call a cruise ship that’s out of shape? A flabby-ship!
I went on a cruise and all I got was seasick and a lousy souvenir keychain.
I went on a cruise and tried to impress the captain with my dance moves. Turns out, he had no ship of humor.
My wife said the cruise was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Thank goodness, I can’t afford to go again!
Why did the sunburned tourist go on a cruise? He needed some shade with a side of adventure!
Why was the cruise ship always calm during storms? It had a great sense of ship-control.
Why did the cruise ship hire a magician? They needed someone to make all the missing passengers disappear.
Why did the cruise ship go to the doctor? It was feeling a little shipwrecked.
I’m not a fan of cruises, but I’m definitely on board with the idea of an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Why did the cruise ship break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle the commitment, it was too ship-shy!
I went on a cruise and the captain told me to relax, so I threw him overboard. Now I’m the captain.
Why did the pirate refuse to get on the cruise ship? Because it was full of buccaneers!
Cruises are like floating buffets, except the buffet floats away after you’ve eaten too much.
I went on a cruise and realized that the only thing I’m qualified to be is a professional buffet eater.
I asked the cruise ship captain if he had any sea-sick bags. He said, “No, everyone just waves!”
I told my friends I was going on a cruise to explore new destinations, but deep down I just wanted an excuse to wear a captain’s hat and pretend I’m in charge.
Why did the pirate go on a diet during the cruise? He wanted to lose some “booty”!
I went on a cruise and ended up feeling like a castaway on a luxury island.
I tried to impress a girl on the cruise by doing a magic trick. Turns out, she was more interested in the buffet than my disappearing act!
Why did the cruise ship captain always win at poker? Because he knew how to hold ’em and fold ’em on the high seas!
Why did the pirate go on a cruise? He heard it was a great way to “sea” new treasures.
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite kind of music? Heavy metal!
Cruise ship food is so good that I’m convinced they must have a secret agreement with my waistline.
On the cruise, I ate so much food that even the lifeboats were afraid to come near me.
Cruising is like a roller coaster ride, except you’re stuck on a boat and can’t get off.
I found a genie on my cruise and wished for endless drinks. Now I’m the captain of the drunk ship.
I asked the cruise ship if it had any interesting stories. It replied, “I’ve seen a lot, but I’m ship-faced, so I can’t remember!”
I tried to join a cruise ship band, but they said I couldn’t handle the oar-iginal music.
I thought I’d get some peace and quiet on a cruise, but it turns out the ship’s horn is louder than my alarm clock.
I went on a cruise and ended up gaining so much weight that I had to come back as cargo.
What do you call a cruise that’s run by cats? A meow-tine!
I tried to convince my friend to go on a cruise, but he said he didn’t want to “seas” the day.
I went on a cruise and the captain told us to have a whale of a time. So, I ordered a giant inflatable whale for the pool!
I asked the cruise ship captain if he believed in love at first sight. He said, “No, but I believe in love at first cruise!”
I told my friend I went on a cruise, and he said, “Don’t jump ship on our friendship!”
Why did the cruise ship cancel their comedy night? They couldn’t find anyone with enough sea legs to tell jokes!
I went on a cruise and all I did was eat, drink, and sea.
I joined a singles’ cruise hoping to find love, but all I got was an awkward speed dating event at the buffet line.
I tried to impress the ladies on a cruise by playing the Titanic theme song on the saxophone. They all jumped ship.
My friend asked me why I love cruises so much, and I told her it’s the only time I can rock a fanny pack and not be judged.
Why did the cruise ship start a band? It wanted to make some waves in the music industry!
I thought I saw a dolphin on the cruise, but it turned out to be my reflection in the buffet dessert tray.
I signed up for a singles cruise hoping to find love at sea, but all I found were cheesy pickup lines and a buffet of disappointment.
Why did the cruise ship refuse to play cards? Because it was afraid of dealing with the shuffleboard!
Why did the tomato turn down a cruise? It didn’t want to end up as a salsa on the high seas.
I asked the captain of a cruise ship if he had ever hit an iceberg. He replied, “Iceberg? No, but I once ran into a salad bar.”
Why did the cruise ship get a ticket? It was caught speeding in a no-wake zone.
What do you call a cruise ship that’s been at sea for too long? A roamin’ cathedral!
I went on a cruise and suddenly understood why they call it a “booze cruise.”
They say a cruise is a great way to relax, but I spent most of my time worrying about whether I’d fit in the deck chair.
I tried to flirt with the cruise ship captain, but he told me I was just a buoyfriend.
I went on a cruise and all I got was a lousy captain’s hat and a sunburn.
Why did the cruise ship get a job at a bakery? It wanted to be a dough-nut captain!
Why did the cruise ship get detention? It couldn’t stop making inappropriate sail jokes.
Why did the math teacher book a cruise? She wanted to solve the equation of relaxation and fun!
What do you call a sea captain who always loses at poker? A card shark-n’t.

Cruise Dad Jokes

Cruise dad jokes are the ideal combination of nautical puns and laughter that will surely make everyone aboard chuckle and sigh simultaneously.

They are the type of jokes that might make you want to walk the plank, but you can’t help but appreciate the humor.

These jokes are perfect for entertaining during long sea days, dinner table chats, or simply to lighten the mood when the seas get a little rough.

Prepare yourselves for the wave of chuckles.

Here are some cruise dad jokes that are guaranteed to sail you into a sea of laughter:

Why don’t pirates take up gardening on a cruise? Because they prefer “sea-ing” treasures!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to let the comedian on board? They said his jokes were too “ship”!
Why did the cruise ship start a band? Because it had plenty of “ports” to play in!
Why did the cruise ship always win at poker? Because it had a “deck” stacked in its favor!
Why did the cruise ship throw a party? Because it had a “boatload” of fun to share!
What do you get when you cross a cruise ship and a magician? A boatload of abracadabra!
Why don’t pirates take cruises? Because they prefer to travel arrrrrgh-by sea!
Why did the cruise ship become a musician? It had a lot of sax appeal!
Why did the cruise ship go to school? Because it wanted to get a little “cruise-education”!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to go to the casino? It didn’t want to get into deep water!
What did the cruise ship say to its passengers when it hit an iceberg? “Don’t worry, this is just an “ice breaker”!
Why did the cruise ship stop telling jokes? It ran out of “cruise” control!
Why did the sailor bring a ladder on the cruise ship? Because he heard the captain wanted to “step up” their game!
What do you call a bear on a cruise? A grrr-ound traveler!
Why don’t vampires go on cruises? They’re afraid of garlic bread!
Why did the cruise ship throw a party? Because it wanted to have a hull of a good time!
Why did the cruise ship become a detective? Because it was always “sea-rching” for clues!
Why did the cruise ship start a band? It heard music could rock the boat!
Why did the pirate want to go on a cruise? Because he heard they had a shipload of good deals!
Why did the cruise ship hire a magician? To help with all the disappearing buffets!
What do you call a cruise ship that loves to dance? The S.S. Boogie-woogie!
Why did the cruise ship start a band? Because it had plenty of sea-men-tal musicians on board!
Why was the cruise ship always so calm? It had a great captain who always kept things ship-shape!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s always in a hurry? A sail phone!
Why did the cruise ship go to school? It wanted to become a master of the seven Cs: cruising, crew, cuisine, cocktails, comedy, concerts, and casinos!
Why are cruises so good at telling stories? Because they have lots of tales to share!
Why don’t robots enjoy cruises? They prefer programming trips!
What do you call a pirate who skips a cruise? A “buoy” that just doesn’t want to “sea”!
Why was the cruise ship a great dancer? It knew how to “sea-legs”!
Why did the cruise ship go to the bakery? Because it kneaded a vacation!
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? Because it needed a vacation from standing in the field all day!
Why did the cruise ship always win at poker? It had a lot of “a-cruise” cards up its sleeve!
What do you call a cruise ship that sings opera? The S.S. Soprano!
Why was the cruise ship always happy? Because it had a shipload of fun!
Why did the cruise ship always win at poker? It was great at keeping a “poker” face, even in rough waters!
What do you call a cruise ship that went to the gym? A flexcursion!
Why did the cruise ship need an extra pair of pants? In case it “seas” its pants!
What did the cruise ship say to the comedian? You really know how to steer up some laughter!
Why don’t cruises ever get sunburned? Because they always remember to bring their “ship” screen!
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? He wanted to see the corn-er of the world!
Why did the computer go on a cruise? It needed some “bytes” of relaxation!
Why did the cruise ship take up gardening? It wanted to sea-kale its time on the open water!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get lonely? Because they always have a boatload of friends!
Why did the math book go on a cruise? It needed some natural logarithms!
Why are pirates terrible at playing cards on a cruise ship? Because they are standing on the deck!
What did the pirate say when he saw a cruise ship? “Argh, that’s my kind of treasure chest!”
Why was the cruise ship so good at solving mysteries? It always knew how to navigate the clues!
Why don’t vampires go on cruises? They can’t stand the sight of a stake!
Why do cruise ships never go hungry? Because they always have a buffet “sea-sion”!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to wear sunscreen? Because it didn’t want to be mistaken for a beach umbrella!
Why are cruises so popular among mathematicians? Because they enjoy sailing through pi-rates!
What do you call a boat that’s afraid of leaving the dock? A “chicken” cruiser!
Why did the cruise ship go to school? Because it wanted to improve its navigation skills!
What do you call a nervous cruise ship? An anchor-wrecked vessel!
Why did the cruise ship become a comedian? It wanted to make a “splash” with its jokes!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cruise ship? One with a plank-ton of activities!
Why do cruise ships make great comedians? They always know how to “sail” their jokes!
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? He needed some time off from being outstanding in his field!
Why did the sailor always bring a ladder on the cruise ship? So he could climb aboard the jokes!
Why did the cruise ship always have a great sense of humor? Because it had a fantastic “cruise-tom” to laughter!
Why do cruise ships always win arguments? Because they have a lot of valid points!
Why did the cruise ship bring a map to the comedy club? So it wouldn’t get lost in the sea of jokes!
Why did the cruise ship visit the library? Because it wanted to check out some “sea” novels!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to gossip? Because it didn’t want to stir the ship!
Why do cruise ships always carry a compass? So they don’t get too far off course!
Why did the cruise ship have a hard time making friends? It was always “sea”-ing new faces!
What do you call a cruise ship that sings too much? A “song” of the sea!
Why did the cruise ship go to the doctor? It had a bad case of “sea-sickness”!
What did the cruise ship say to the lighthouse? “I’m a big fan of your guiding light!”
Why was the cruise ship always so calm and relaxed? Because it knew how to “cruise-control” its stress levels!
Why do cruise ships always have a gym? So passengers can “weigh anchor”!
Why was the deck always so happy on the cruise? Because it had a buoyant personality!
Why did the cruise ship start a gardening club? It loved seeing the “sea”-sons change!
Why did the cruise ship blush? Because it saw the ocean’s waves and got a little ship-faced!
Why did the cruise ship apply for a job at the bakery? Because it wanted to work on its dough-mestic skills!
Why do cruise ships make terrible comedians? Because their jokes tend to “sail” right over people’s heads!
What do you call a pirate who loves to go on cruises? Captain Hook, Line, and Sinker!
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? Because he needed a little “R and R” (rest and relaxation)!
Why do cruise ships never need therapy? Because they always stay afloat!
Why was the cruise ship so good at telling stories? Because it had a great captain’s log!
How do you make a cruise ship laugh? Just give it a little tickle on the anchor!
Why did the cruise ship start a band? Because it wanted to rock the boat with some great tunes!
What do you call a cruise ship that talks back? A “smart-a-boat”!
Why did the cruise ship buy a new pair of shoes? It wanted to feel “shipshape”!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get in trouble? Because they always stay afloat of the situation!
What did the cruise ship say to the lazy passenger? “You’re really dragging your anchor on this trip!”
Why do cruise ships always win at poker? Because they have plenty of “sea” cards!
Why don’t pirates go on cruise ships? Because they already have plenty of ships “arrrr”gh!
Why did the cruise ship want to become a comedian? It had a knack for cracking up the passengers!
What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music on a cruise? Sea-shanties!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite dance? The “sail” shuffle!
Why was the cruise ship always so calm and composed? It had a great “sea-nse” of stability!
What did the cruise ship say to the iceberg? “Nice to break you!”
Why are cruises always happy? Because they are always “ship-shape”!
Why did the cruise ship captain start a band? Because he already had the ship, now he just needed the tunes!
Why did the scarecrow bring a ladder on the cruise ship? Because it wanted to “row” the boat!
Why did the cruise ship bring a hat and sunglasses? Because it wanted to be shore it had a sunny vacation!
Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It needed to work on its “sea” issues!
Why did the cruise ship bring a map to the gym? So it could “navigate” its workout!
Why did the cruise ship’s chef love his job? Because he always had “plenty of fish” to cook for the passengers!
Why did the cruise ship have a successful comedy show? It had a great captain who always steered the audience in the right direction!
What do you call a cruise ship that runs on coffee? A latte of fun!
Why do cruise ships always have low self-esteem? Because they constantly compare themselves to yachts!
Why don’t fish go on cruises? They’re scared of “getting hooked”!
Why did the pirate go on a cruise? He wanted to relax and set sail for a while!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to go to the comedy club? It didn’t want to “sea” any more cheesy jokes!
What do you call a pirate who can’t steer a cruise ship? Lost at sea!
Why don’t cruise ships like to play cards? Because they’re afraid of a little shuffleboard!
Why did the cruise ship win the talent show? It had the best anchor management!
What did the cruise ship captain say to the passengers? “I’m steering this ship in the right direction, so don’t worry, just “cruise” along!”
Why do cruise ships never gossip? Because they’re all about keeping things shipshape!
Why don’t cruises ever get lonely? Because they always make lots of “shipmates” along the way!
Why are cruises so expensive? Because they’re worth every “sail”!
Why are cruises great for vampires? Because they can always count on getting a lot of sun!

Cruise Jokes for Kids

Cruise jokes for kids are like the exciting treasure hunts of the joke world—thrilling, adventurous, and always a favorite among the youngsters.

These jokes encourage kids to explore the fun side of travel and oceanic adventure, fostering a love for humor that’s as vast as the sea itself.

Plus, cruise jokes for kids have the additional perk of making learning about different cultures and places enjoyable, transforming their perception of travel into a source of endless amusement.

Ready for a journey filled with laughter?

Here are the jokes that’ll have them rolling on the deck with giggles:

What did the cruise ship captain say to the comedian on board? “You’re really “steering” up the crowd!”
Why did the dolphins bring their passports on the cruise? Because they wanted to travel porpoisefully!
Why did the teddy bear go on a cruise? Because he wanted to see the big, blue “bearly” ocean!
Why did the ocean go on a cruise? It wanted to see the world and make some waves!
Why did the seaweed go on a cruise? Because it wanted to have a kelp-ful time!
Why do cruises make terrible teachers? Because they always tend to “sail”!
Why do cruise ships make great comedians? Because they always have a “pier”-less sense of humor!
What did the cruise ship say to the lighthouse? “I really “shore” do love your guiding light!”
Why did the pineapple go on a cruise? It wanted to have a tropical getaway!
Why do cruise ships like to sail? Because it’s the only way they can feel seaworthy!
Why was the math book sad when it went on a cruise? Because it had too many problems on board!
Why did the fish refuse to go on the cruise? It didn’t want to be caught “hook, line, and sinker”!
What do you get if you cross a cruise ship and a book? A bestsea-ller!
Why don’t skeletons go on cruises? Because they have no body to go with!
How does a cruise ship listen to music? With its “port”able speakers!
Why did the grape go on a cruise? Because it wanted to “wine” and dine on the ocean!
Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to make a “splash” entrance!
What did the cruise ship say when it hit an iceberg? “Ice to meet you!”
How do cruise ships communicate? They use “sea”-mail!
Why don’t crabs like to share their food on a cruise? Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the sun go on a cruise? To get some “rays” and relaxation!
Why did the vegetable go on a cruise? It wanted to “lettuce” relax and have some fun!
Why don’t pirates take cruises? Because they already have plenty of arrr and arrr!
Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to “step” up its dance moves!
What do you call a cruise ship that has been to space? An astro-ship!
What do you call a pirate’s favorite type of cruise ship? A “yo-ho-ho-liday” cruise!
What do you call a cruise ship that sings? A boat with perfect pitch!
Why did the cruise ship go to school? To learn how to “cruise” through the ocean!
Why did the pencil go on a cruise? It needed to get some “shore” leave!
What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of cruise? One that’s arrrrgumented with adventure!
Why did the cruise ship always win at hide and seek? Because it had a great hull!
Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder? To reach the higher “sea-level”!
Why did the pirate go on a cruise? To search for the missing “arrrrr”!
What do cruise ships wear to parties? Anchor-chiefs!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite type of music? “Harbor”-monious melodies!
What’s a pirate’s favorite activity on a cruise ship? “Argh”-cade games!
Why do cruise ships never get lonely? Because they always make lots of new ports!
What kind of cruise ship can’t sing? A mute-iny!
Why did the dolphin bring a suitcase on the cruise? Because it wanted to travel “porpoisefully”!
Why was the cruise ship always tired? Because it stayed up “ship”ing all night!
What do you call a snowman on a cruise ship? Chilly on the seven seas!
What do you call a fish with no eyes on a cruise ship? A fsh!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite dessert? A “shipwreck” sundae!
What did the cruise ship say to the iceberg? “You’re breaking the ice!” .
What do you call a cruise ship that refuses to pay its bills? A “sea”-ttle!
Why did the cruise ship start wearing glasses? Because it lost sight of the shore!
Why did the skeleton refuse to go on the cruise? He didn’t have the guts for it!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite hobby? Watching “wave”-ies!
Why did the boat go to school? So it could learn to cruise!
Why did the cruise ship bring a map to the party? Because it wanted to make sure it didn’t get lost on the dance floor!
What is a cruise ship’s favorite type of music? Yacht rock!
What did the cruise ship captain say to the sailor who couldn’t tie knots? “Knot on my watch!”
What did the cruise ship say to the island? “I’m shore glad to see you!”
Why did the whale go on a cruise? It wanted to show off its fin-tastic dance moves!
Why did the pirate take a cruise? He wanted to experience a different “arr!”-ival!
Why don’t cruise ships like to shake hands? They already have a lot of waves!
What do you call a cruise that’s on sale? A ship for a “buoy”-gain price!
What do you get if you cross a cruise ship with a computer? A sinking feeling!
Why was the cruise ship so good at math? Because it always knew how to calculate the perfect course!
What do you call a dinosaur on a cruise ship? A stegosnorus!
Why did the cruise ship bring a map to dinner? So it could have a “meal” planner!
Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder? So it could have a “high”-sea adventure!
What did the cruise ship say to the sailor? “I’ve got you a “float” of surprises!”
What did the cruise ship say to the iceberg? “I’m breaking the ice, but I won’t sink you!”
Why did the banana go on a cruise? Because it had “a-peel” to the ocean views!
What do you call a pirate who skips school and goes on a cruise instead? Captain Hooky!
What do you call a pirate who likes to go on cruises? A “deck”-adent buccaneer!
What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a cruise? The arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-tifacts!
Why did the sailor bring a ladder on the cruise ship? Because he heard the captain likes high seas!
What do you call a cruise ship that can sing? A vessel-o-pella!
Why don’t cruise ships like to play cards? Because they’re afraid of dealing with the high “seas”!
What did the cruise ship say to the wave? Long time, no sea!
What do you call a pirate who likes to take cruises? Captain Vacation!
Why did the cruise ship bring a deck of cards? So it could “deal” with any boredom!
What do you get when you cross a cruise ship with a bakery? Loaf boats!
What did the cruise ship captain say to the crew? “Ship ahoy, mateys!”
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? It wanted to see the “sea”son change!
Why do cruises never get lost? Because they always have a captain who knows how to navigate!
Why did the teddy bear bring a suitcase on the cruise? Because he wanted to have a bear-y good time!
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? Because he wanted to get some “straw-nberry” ice cream!
Why did the banana go on a cruise? It wanted to peel out on the open water!
What did the cruise ship say to the iceberg? “You’re so cool, but I’m all aboard the fun train!”
Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder? Because it heard it was going to a “high” seas adventure!
Why are cruises so relaxing? Because they let you sail away from your troubles!
What do you call a fish that drives a cruise ship? A captain hook!
Why did the boat go on a diet before the cruise? It wanted to look shipshape!

Cruise Jokes for Adults

Who says adults can’t have a hearty laugh with a good cruise joke?

Cruise jokes for adults raise the humor sails high, blending maritime wit with a hint of adult sophistication.

Just like a perfectly planned cruise, these jokes navigate through the waves of humor, intellect, and a drop of naughtiness for a comical journey worth remembering.

These jokes are ideal for cocktail parties, boat trips, or simply to break the ice during a tense discussion among friends.

Here are some cruise jokes that are all set to make adults chuckle:

Why did the cruise ship break up with its partner? It realized they were just drifting apart!
Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It was struggling to stay afloat emotionally!
Why did the skeleton go on a cruise? He heard it was a bone-voyage!
Why did the sea monster refuse to go on a cruise? He didn’t want to get caught up in a fishy situation!
Why did the scarecrow go on a cruise? Because he wanted to set sail and find his missing brain!
Why did the cruise ship become a comedian? It wanted to sail the high seas of laughter!
Why did the cruise ship captain always bring a ladder to work? Just in case he needed to climb the corporate deck!
What do you get when you mix a cruise ship with a comedian? A laughing stock on the high seas!
What do you call a skeleton on a cruise ship? A boney voyager!
Why did the cruise ship wear a life jacket to the party? It didn’t want to be a party pooper!
What do you call a pirate who goes on a luxury cruise? A “captain” of leisure!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s haunted? A ghost-ship-cruiser!
Why did the cruise ship decide to become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to sail through its punchlines!
Why don’t cruise ships like to hire comedians? Because they always make waves!
Why did the skeleton go on a cruise? Because he needed to “bone up” on his sailing skills!
What do you call a cruise ship that always tells the truth? Honesty of the Seas!
Why did the cruise ship have a great sense of direction? It always knew how to stay on course and steer a good joke!
Why did the cruise ship’s captain get arrested? He was caught steering a conversation towards inappropriate jokes!
Why did the ghost go on a cruise? He wanted to “haunt” the high seas!
Why did the cruise ship chef get promoted? Because he had a knack for making sea food!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even cruise ships!
Why was the cruise ship so good at math? It always knew how to count its passengers on board!
Why did the cruise ship make a terrible stand-up comedian? Because it always had a sinking punchline!
Why did the pirate go on a cruise? Because he wanted to experience the arrr and arrr of the ocean!
Why did the cruise ship take a nap? It needed some “siesta” time!
Why don’t pirates like going on cruises? They prefer to “sea” the world on their own terms!
Why did the captain of the cruise ship bring a ladder to the party? Because he wanted to raise the bar!
What did one cruise ship say to the other? “I’m just a little ship-faced!”
Why did the man bring a ladder on the cruise ship? He wanted to reach new heights of relaxation on the sun deck!
Why did the pirate go on a cruise? He wanted to take a break from all the arrr-ghh work!
Why did the cruise ship have trouble making friends? It had a stern personality!
Why don’t vampires go on cruise ships? They can’t handle all that “ocean” sunlight!
Why did the tomato turn red on the cruise ship? It saw the ocean and realized it wasn’t a vegetable anymore!
Why did the math teacher go on a cruise? Because she wanted to solve some real-life problems on the go!
Why did the cruise ship throw a party? It wanted to have a splashin’ good time and shake its sails on the dance floor!
Why did the pirate refuse to go on a cruise? Because he thought it would be too “arr” rated!
Why did the cruise ship hire a detective? It suspected there was a mystery afloat!
Why was the cruise ship so good at keeping secrets? Because it always had a “tight-lip” policy!
What do you call a fish that goes on a luxury cruise? A “fin-ancially” savvy traveler!
Why did the cruise ship throw a party for the iceberg? It wanted to break the ice!
Why was the cruise ship so expensive? Because it had a “shipload” of luxury amenities!
Why don’t pirates take vacations on cruise ships? Because they prefer to “arr” and “rrr” on their own terms!
Why did the cruise ship captain go to therapy? He had a lot of “deep-sea” issues!
What do you call a pirate who skips the cruise? A buccaneer traveler!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite way to enjoy music? By rocking and rolling on the high seas!
What do you call a cruise with lots of mathematicians on board? An Algebracruise!
Why did the cruise ship captain start a bakery? Because he wanted to make a lot of dough on the side!
Why did the comedian go on a cruise? He wanted to test his jokes on a captive audience!
Why did the cruise ship hire a comedian? To make sure everyone was ship-shape and laughing!
Why did the cruise ship always win at poker? Because it had a good poker face – it was always smooth sailing!
Why did the couple bring their own pool to the cruise? They wanted to have a deep-end dance party!
What did the cruise ship say to the sailor who kept telling jokes? Stop making me laugh, you’re making me seasick!
Why did the cruise ship hire a comedian? Because they wanted to have a shipload of laughs on board!
What did the cruise ship say to the iceberg? “I’ve been floating around looking for you, let’s break the ice!”
Why did the cruise ship go to school? Because it wanted to make waves in the classroom!
Why don’t cruises ever get lost at sea? Because they always stay in the “ship” lane!
Why did the cruise ship break up with the iceberg? It said, “I can’t handle your cold heart anymore!”
Why did the cruise ship get in trouble with the law? It was caught “sea-ding”!
Why did the pirate refuse to go on a cruise ship? He heard it had a bad arrrrrrrrrrrrr rating!
Why did the man refuse to get on the cruise ship? He was afraid of “shore” leave!
Why don’t pirates like going on cruises? Because they can’t stand the idea of walking the plank on a floating hotel!
Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It had separation anxiety from the ocean!
Why did the sea monster go on a cruise? It wanted to feast on a buffet of unsuspecting tourists!
Why do cruise ships make terrible detectives? Because they always have too many leaks in their investigations!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s run out of food? A “dessert” island!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to go to the comedy show? It didn’t want to rock the boat with laughter!
What do you call a cruise ship that runs aground? A “ground-breaking” vacation!
Why did the cruise ship invite a magician onboard? To make sure there were plenty of “sea-crets” and tricks up its sleeve!
Why did the pirate go on a luxury cruise? He wanted to find some “arrr” and relaxation!
Why did the cruise ship need therapy? It had an “anchor” management problem!
Why did the cruise ship win the talent show? It knew how to “rock the boat”!
Why did the cruise ship captain always carry a map? Just in case he wanted to go off course and pretend it was intentional!
What did one cruise ship say to the other? “Are you shore we’re going the right way?”
Why did the math teacher go on a cruise? He wanted to explore the “sea of numbers”!
Why did the cruise ship captain get arrested? He was caught “cruising” over the speed limit!
Why did the cruise ship invite a comedian on board? Because it wanted to have a good laugh liner!
Why did the cruise ship make a great comedian? Because it always had a lot of “pier” pressure!
What do you call a cruise ship with a broken GPS? Lost at sea-duction!
Why did the ghost decide to go on a haunted cruise? It wanted to sail away from its spooky reputation!
Why was the chef on the cruise always in a hurry? Because he wanted to make a fast food delivery!
Why don’t cruise ships make good detectives? They always sail away before they can solve the mystery!
What do you call a fish that goes on a cruise? A shipwreck-staurant critic!
Why did the computer engineer go on a cruise? He wanted to finally experience a “floating point”!
Why do cruise ships never get lost? Because they always have their “sea-navigators” on board!
Why did the cruise ship captain start a garden onboard? He wanted to have a shipyard full of flowers and sea-suns!
What do you call a cruise ship that can’t stop laughing? A hilarious vessel full of “sea”tirical jokes!
Why did the cruise ship want to become a comedian? Because it loved to “cruise” for laughs!
Why did the cruise ship hire a comedian? To make the passengers laugh until they’re ship-faced!
Why are cruises great for those on a diet? Because there’s always plenty of “sea”food!
Why don’t cruises trust stairs? Because they always take the ship elevator!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get lonely? Because they have thousands of passengers to entertain them!
Why did the cruise ship only hire musicians? Because they wanted to “rock” the boat and keep everyone entertained!
What did one cruise ship say to the other ship? “Are you ‘anchored’ for a good time?”
Why did the skeleton go on a cruise? Because he wanted to test if he had any sea legs!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to “deck” itself out!
Why did the cruise ship hire a magician? They wanted to make their guests “sea” some magic!
Why did the cruise ship invest in stocks? It wanted to make sure it stayed afloat financially!
Why did the cruise ship go broke? It had too many expenses and not enough buoyancy!
Why did the cruise ship invite the guitar player? It wanted to rock ‘n’ row!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get lost? Because they always have direction-ship!
Why did the musician go on a cruise? He wanted to “harmonize” with the sound of the ocean waves!
Why was the cruise ship always happy? It had a captain with a great sense of ship-humor!
What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? “Nothing, it just waved!”
Why did the cruise ship chef get promoted? Because he knew how to “stir” up a delicious meal!
Why did the cruise ship book a band? Because they wanted to rock the boat and make waves with their music!
Why did the pirate take his parrot on a cruise? It was his first mate!
Why did the cruise ship turn down the job offer? It was too “boat”-ing!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to play cards with the pirate? Because he was standing on the deck!
Why did the cruise ship captain always carry a map? So he wouldn’t get lost at sea-food buffets!
Why did the chef go on a cruise? He wanted to spice up his culinary skills with some “seafood” specialties!
Why was the cruise ship always so calm and relaxed? Because it knew how to stay afloat and go with the flow!
Why did the cruise ship get arrested? It was caught smuggling seasickness pills!
Why did the cruise ship captain always carry a map? Just in case he wanted to “sea” where he was going!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to let the musician on board? Because he had too many band mates!
Why did the cruise ship become a detective? It wanted to solve the case of the missing anchor!
What did one cruise ship say to the other? “I’m really shipshape and ready to embark on a fantastic voyage!”
Why did the cruise ship never get into trouble? It always “sailed” away from any problems!
What do you call it when a cruise ship sinks? A “sunken cost” vacation!
Why did the cruise ship captain always carry a book with him? In case he wanted to “sea” some good stories!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to play cards? Because it was afraid of getting dealt a bad hand on the high seas!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite type of humor? Sailing wit!
Why don’t cruise ships like playing cards? Because they’re always standing on the deck!
Why did the cruise ship join a gym? It wanted to stay in shipshape for its passengers!
Why did the cruise ship captain bring a ladder to the party? He heard the drinks were on the rocks!
Why did the lawyer go on a cruise? He needed to “sail away” from all the legal drama!
What do you call a funny cruise ship? A “laughliner”!
What did one cruise ship say to the other? “I’m going to make a “shore” impression on this trip!”
Why did the ocean get invited to the cruise party? It knew how to make a big splash!
Why did the pirate bring a mop on the cruise ship? To swab the decks, matey!
Why did the basketball player go on a cruise? He wanted to show off his “dribbling” skills on the ship’s deck!
Why don’t pirates take cruises anymore? They kept getting seasick from all the arrr and arrr!
Why did the pirate refuse to go on a cruise? Because he preferred to sail the high seas on his own terms!
Why are cruises like smartphones? Because they both have a lot of ports!
What do you call a cruise ship with a lousy sense of direction? A lost navigator!
Why was the cruise ship so good at math? It could always calculate the best route for a fun voyage!
Why don’t cruise ships like to hire comedians? They always try to keep a stern atmosphere!
Why did the cruise ship captain always carry a map? Because he didn’t want to get lost at sea or on the dance floor!
Why did the cruise ship hire a comedian? To keep the passengers “shipshape” with laughter!
Why do cruises make great dancers? Because they have fantastic sea-legs!
What did the cruise ship say to the pirate ship? “Aye, Aye, matey!”
Why did the cruise ship bring a broom? Because it wanted to sweep the competition away!
Why do cruise ship bartenders always have smooth sailing? Because they never “rock” the boat!

Cruise Joke Generator

Creating the ultimate cruise joke can sometimes feel like you’re lost at sea.

(Do you catch my drift?)

That’s where our FREE Cruise Joke Generator comes to your rescue.

Engineered to merge witty puns, nautical humor, and amusing phrases, it fabricates jokes that are guaranteed to have you sailing on waves of laughter.

Don’t let your humor sink beneath the surface.

Use our joke generator to craft jokes that are as lively and entertaining as your cruise adventures.

FAQs About Cruise Jokes

Why are cruise jokes so popular.

Cruise jokes are quite popular due to the unique experiences and scenarios that can occur on a cruise.

From the interesting people you meet to the different activities and situations on board, there’s a wealth of humor to tap into.

Plus, cruises are often associated with leisure and fun, which naturally lends itself to lighthearted, playful jokes.

Can cruise jokes be used in social situations?

Yes, definitely!

Cruise jokes can be a great conversation starter or a way to lighten the mood in social situations.

They are especially fitting when discussing travel plans, vacation experiences, or when actually on a cruise!

How can I come up with my own cruise jokes?

First, think about the typical experiences and situations on a cruise, like the endless buffets, crowded pools, or seasickness.
Try to find humor in these situations and exaggerate for comedic effect.
Look for pun opportunities—cruise lingo (e.g., port, starboard, stern) can provide some great material for wordplay.
Consider common stereotypes about cruises and use them to create humorous scenarios.
Remember, the best jokes have a surprising twist, so try to include an unexpected punchline.

Do you have any tips for remembering cruise jokes?

To remember cruise jokes, try to associate them with specific moments or experiences from a cruise.

The visuals and emotions from these memories can help the jokes stick in your mind.

Also, telling them frequently to others can also help reinforce your memory.

How can I make my cruise jokes better?

The key to a good joke is timing and delivery.

Practice your joke so that it flows naturally and the punchline lands at the right moment.

Also, consider your audience and tailor your joke to suit their sense of humor.

Don’t be afraid to edit your joke based on the reactions you get, comedy is often a process of trial and error.

How does the Cruise Joke Generator work?

Our Cruise Joke Generator is designed to generate fun and humorous jokes with a cruise theme at the click of a button.

Simply enter relevant keywords and hit Generate Jokes.

In no time, you’ll have a set of cruise jokes ready to share and enjoy.

Is the Cruise Joke Generator free to use?

Yes, our Cruise Joke Generator is completely free to use!

You can generate as many cruise jokes as you want, so you’ll always have a fresh and funny joke on hand for any situation.

So go ahead and dive in, the laughs are on us!

Cruise jokes are a charming way to add a splash of humor to everyday conversations, making life a bit more enjoyable with each chuckle.

From the short and sharp to the lengthy and laughter-inducing, there’s a cruise joke for every occasion.

So next time you’re stepping onboard a cruise ship, remember, there’s humor to be found in every deck, cabin, and buffet line.

Keep sharing the laughs, and let the good times sail and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without cruising—unthinkable and, frankly, a bit less adventurous.

Happy joking, everyone!

Musician Jokes That Will Resonate with Your Funny Bone

Marshmallow Jokes That Are S’more Fun Than You Can Handle

Ship Jokes That Will Keep You Afloat with Laughter

Mountain Biking Jokes That Will Take Your Humor Off-Road

Tent Jokes That Are Pitch Perfect

Piano Jokes for a Harmonious Burst of Laughter

Campfire Jokes to Keep Your Humor Burning

Ocean Jokes That Will Make Waves of Laughter

Unicycle Jokes That Will Keep You Spinning with Laughter

Scooter Jokes That Are Full Throttle Fun

Rock Music Jokes That Will Strike a Chord

Motorcycle Jokes That Will Accelerate Your Humor

Helmet Jokes That Will Protect Your Funny Bone

Bass Guitar Jokes That Will Pluck Your Funny Strings

Captain Jokes to Steer Your Humor in the Right Direction

Sailing Jokes That Are Sure to Tide You Over

Wilderness Jokes That Will Make You Roar with Laughter

Drum Jokes That Are Sure to Beat Your Expectations

Anchor Jokes That Will Keep You Grounded in Humor

Hiking Jokes That Will Take Your Humor to New Heights

610 Lightning Jokes That Will Strike Your Funny Bone

703 Monk Jokes for Meditative Merriment

488 Workplace Jokes That Make Even Mondays Hilarious

333 Dog Jokes That Fetch Loads of Laughter

633 Birdwatching Jokes That Will Make You Chirp with Cheer

596 Hash Browns Jokes for a Hearty Laugh

108+ Hilarious Cruise Ship Jokes For Endless Laughter

Introduction.

Embarking on a cruise is a fantastic way to enjoy the open waters, luxurious amenities, and exciting destinations. But what’s a cruise without some hearty laughter?

We’ve compiled a list of over 108+ side-splitting cruise ship jokes that’ll keep you chuckling from bow to stern. From shipboard humor to ocean-themed puns, these jokes are bound to make your cruise experience even more unforgettable. So, pack your sense of humor, and let’s set sail on a laughter-filled journey!

Jokes About Cruise Ship

Why did the cruise ship blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a cruise? The arrrrr-buffet!
Why did the comedian refuse to perform on the cruise? He was afraid of sinking the audience with laughter!
What did one wave say to the other wave on the cruise? “See you on the flip side!”
Why don’t cruise ships ever get lost? Because they always follow the itinerary!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite game? Hide and sea-k!
Why was the computer cold on the cruise ship? It left its Windows open!
What do you call a fish with no eyes on a cruise ship? Fsh!
Why do cruise ships make terrible DJs? They always drop the beats… and the passengers!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s always lying? A fib-er-optic cable!
Why did the sailor bring a ladder on the cruise? To take his sea legs to the next level!
What do you call a cruise ship for canines? A bark-tanical garden!
Why did the cruise ship file a police report? It was robbed of its anchor!
Why did the cruise ship get a ticket? It was caught speeding in a “no-wake” zone!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite genre of music? Rock and sail!
Why do cruise ships love puzzles? They enjoy finding their way through waterways!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean on the cruise? “I sea you’re having a good time!”
Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It had too many unresolved issues!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s also a musician? A ferry-ly good player!
Why did the cruise ship start a gardening club? It wanted to cultivate sea-sons of joy!
What’s a pirate’s favorite social media platform on the cruise? Insta-grrram!
Why did the cruise ship audition for a talent show? It wanted to show off its “bow”-lancing act!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite sport? Water polo-tics!
Why do cruise ships love math class? They’re great at sailing through numbers!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s always telling jokes? A shipper of laughs!
Why did the cruise ship become a librarian? It loved being in shipshape order!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite dessert? Ocean-blueberry pie!
Why did the cruise ship start a band? It wanted to make some “smooth sailing” tunes!
What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? “You’ve got a lot of pull around here!”
Why did the cruise ship become a detective? It had a knack for solving “sea”-crets!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite magic trick? Turning waves into applause!

One-Liners About Cruise Ship

Why did the cruise ship enroll in cooking school? It wanted to master the art of “sea”-food!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s always telling spooky stories? A ghost vessel!
Why did the cruise ship start a YouTube channel? It wanted to go viral on the high seas!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite type of humor? Puns and giggles!
Why did the cruise ship bring a map to the comedy show? It heard they were delivering “chart”-topping jokes!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s really into fitness? A workout-wanderer!
Why did the cruise ship start a book club? It wanted to sail through exciting tales!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite dance move? The “sail”-shake!
Why did the cruise ship start meditating? It wanted to achieve “sea”-renity!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite game? Ship, Captain, Crew-tin’!
Why did the cruise ship take up painting? It wanted to express itself in oceanic colors!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite winter activity? Iceberg spotting!
Why did the cruise ship write a novel? It had a tale to tell on every wave!
What do you call a cruise ship that’s always daydreaming? A fantas-sea liner!
Why did the cruise ship enroll in acting classes? It wanted to nail its role in the ship’s play!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite game to play with passengers? Hide and sea-k!
Why did the cruise ship start a gardening club? It wanted to make the decks “bloom” with beauty!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite comedian? The “captain” of comedy!
Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder to the gym? It wanted to take its workouts to the next deck-level!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite painting style? Wave-pointism!
Why did the cruise ship join the choir? It wanted to make a splash with its harmonies!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite dessert? Sail-berry shortcake!
Why did the cruise ship become a detective? It loved solving “wave”-ering mysteries!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite board game? Monopoly-sea!
Why did the cruise ship start a fashion line? It wanted to keep its passengers in ship-shape style!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite musical instrument? The sea-tar!
Why did the cruise ship start writing poetry? It had a deep connection with the waves!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite vegetable? Sea-kale!
Why did the cruise ship start a podcast? It wanted to share “sea”-rious stories and laughs!

Best Puns About Cruise Ship

Why did the cruise ship captain become a comedian? He had a knack for steering conversations to laughter!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite song? “Rock the Boat” by Hues Corporation!
Why did the cruise ship start a dance crew? It wanted to show off its smooth sailing moves!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite weather? Smooth sailing conditions!
Why did the cruise ship start a bakery? It wanted to make waves with its dough-licious treats!
What do you call a cruise ship that loves to gamble? A card-carrying cruiser!
Why did the cruise ship invite the dolphins to its party? Because they know how to have a whale of a time!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite language? Sail-ish!
Why did the cruise ship captain become an artist? He had a knack for creating “sea”-scapes!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite fruit? Berth-day cake!
Why did the cruise ship become a math tutor? It was great at multiplying the fun!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite type of book? A page-turner with “sea”-rious drama!
Why did the cruise ship start a music festival? It wanted to make a splash with its lineup!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite superhero? Aquaman, of course!
Why did the cruise ship attend a comedy workshop? To learn how to navigate through laughter!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite holiday? Anchor Day!
Why did the cruise ship start a fitness program? It wanted to keep passengers “ship”shape!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite social media influencer? An “in-sail”-encer!
Why did the cruise ship start a podcast? It had a lot of “sea”-rious stories to share!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite space to relax? The “stern” deck!
Why did the cruise ship become a chef? It wanted to cook up a storm of delicious dishes!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite dance move? The anchor drop!
Why did the cruise ship start a magic show? It wanted to conjure waves of amazement!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite time of day? High tide!
Why did the cruise ship start a photography club? It loved capturing the beauty of the open sea!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite movie? “The Poseidon Adventure”!
Why did the cruise ship start a flower shop? It wanted to bring a “bouquet” of joy to passengers!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite way to travel on land? Rollin’ on the ferry-go-round!
Why did the cruise ship start an environmental club? It cared deeply about the oceans it sailed!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite type of humor? Sea-nse of humor!
Why did the cruise ship become a fashion model? It knew how to strike a pose on the catamaran-walk!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite classic book? “Moby-Dick” by Herman Melville!
Why did the cruise ship start a music band? It wanted to make waves in the music industry!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite TV show? “The Love Boat”!
Why did the cruise ship captain become a motivational speaker? He knew how to steer people towards success!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite aquatic animal? The shipwreck-en!
Why did the cruise ship start a wildlife conservation club? It wanted to protect its oceanic neighbors!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite board game? Sinkopoly!
Why did the cruise ship become a chef? It loved making a splash in the culinary world!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite mode of communication? Cruise control!
Why did the cruise ship start a poetry club? It loved expressing itself in rhythmic waves!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Fortune” on Water!
Why did the cruise ship captain become an author? He had a sea of stories to tell!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite exercise? Anchor lifting!
Why did the cruise ship join a yoga class? It wanted to master the art of sea-rlaxation!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite candy? Surf-ers’ sweets!
Why did the cruise ship become a scientist? It wanted to explore the depths of knowledge!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite piece of music? The “Sea” Symphony!
Why did the cruise ship start a recycling program? It believed in keeping the oceans clean and beautiful!
What do you call a cruise ship’s favorite dance style? The tango on the “high” seas!

Jokes About Hot Air Balloon

Jokes About Nintendo

A cruise is an adventure of relaxation, exploration, and delightful experiences. These cruise ship jokes are here to remind you that even while cruising the high seas, laughter knows no boundaries.

So whether you’re sunbathing on the deck, enjoying the onboard entertainment, or gazing at the endless ocean, don’t forget to share a good laugh with your fellow passengers. After all, the best waves on a cruise are the waves of laughter!

What’s the best time to share these cruise ship jokes?

Anytime is a great time for a good laugh! Whether you’re waiting in line, relaxing on the deck, or hanging out in the cruise lounge, these jokes are perfect icebreakers.

Can I share these jokes with the cruise staff?

Absolutely! Cruise staff often appreciate a good laugh too. Just be mindful of their duties and responsibilities while sharing the humor.

Are these jokes suitable for all ages?

Most of these jokes are family-friendly and can be enjoyed by all ages. However, it’s always good to gauge your audience and choose jokes accordingly.

10 Funniest Cruise Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

By: Author Carrie Ann Karstunen

Posted on Published: May 19, 2020 - Last updated: July 2, 2022

10 Funniest Cruise Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Do you love going to the comedy shows when you’re on a cruise? I know it’s one of my favorite things to do on a ship. But until cruising starts up again, we’ll have to make do with telling some cruise jokes.

I’ve collected the funniest cruise jokes at sea, so you can crack up your friends and family with some cruise humor. Dad joke alert: some of these are pretty corny! But they’re all clean cruise jokes, and safe for the entire family. Enjoy!

Bankers aweigh

Two bankers were the only survivors when their cruise ship sank. They were both clinging to a single life preserver. One banker, knowing that his colleague couldn’t swim, says, “I think I can make it to shore to get help. Can you float alone?”

The other banker replies, “How can you talk business at a time like this?”

The booze cruise

A cruise ship is headed back from the Caribbean on its last night at sea. Just before dinner time, the captain gets on the loudspeaker.

“This is your captain speaking. I regret to inform you that there was an error with our provisioning. While there are 2000 passengers on board, we only have enough food for 1000 dinners. However, we do have plenty of alcohol, so anyone who is willing to give up their meal will receive free drinks for the rest of the night.”

A few hours later, the captain gets on the loudspeaker again.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize but it appears we’ve run out of booze. On the upside, we still have a thousand delicious meals for you to enjoy!”

A cruise ship passenger is standing on the deck, looking out at the ocean. As the ship passes a small island, he spots a figure on the beach. He can see it’s a very thin man with wild hair, dressed in rags. He watches him wave his arms, jump up and down, and run back and forth along the beach.

The passenger turns to the Captain, who is standing nearby:

“Captain, what’s up with that guy?”

The Captain just shrugs.

“No clue. He’s always this happy when we sail by.”

The sunbathers

Two elderly gentlemen are relaxing in the sun on a cruise ship. One turns to the other and asks, “Have you read Marx?”

“Oh, yes.” the other replies, “I believe it’s from sitting on these deck chairs”.

A magician worked on a cruise ship. There was a new set of passengers each week, so the magician performed the same tricks over and over again. The captain’s pet parrot came to all the magic shows and began to understand how each of the magic tricks worked.

Once the parrot understood, he began to shout during the show, “Look, he’s hiding the rabbit under the table!” or “Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?”

Every week, the parrot ruined the show. The magician was exasperated but couldn’t do anything. After all, it was the captain’s parrot.

One night, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. The magician found himself stranded on the iceberg…along with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but neither uttered a word. This went on for days. Finally on the fourth day, the parrot couldn’t hold back any longer. “OK, I give up.” he said, “What did you do with the ship?”

The party pooper

Why couldn’t the cruisers play cards?

Because the Captain was standing on the deck.

Rolex below deck s

A rich guy took a cruise to a tropical island, and decided to sunbathe on the beach. Wanting an even tan, he took off his luxury watch and slipped it in his pocket.

Spring Break

A bunch of fraternity brothers go on a cruise for Spring Break. Halfway through their vacation the ship wrecks, and the young men escape on a lifeboat. They floated on the ocean for a couple of days, but no one came to rescue them. On the third day, one of the men noticed a bottle floating near the lifeboat.

“Whoa, what if there’s a genie in that bottle?” he asked. He reached into the water, picked up the bottle, and rubbed it.

With a loud whoosh, a huge genie appeared. “I am a powerful genie, but I can only grant one wish,” the genie shouted.

“That’s a no-brainer!” the frat boy said, “I wish the entire ocean was made of beer!”

The genie granted the wish, and promptly vanished.

“Dude!” groaned one of the other brothers. “Now we have to pee in the boat!”

Rethinking sinking

A very nervous first-time cruiser approached the Captain. “Do ships like this sink very often?” he asked.

Replied the captain, “No, not too often. Usually, it’s only once.”

Shipped out

A married man walks into his local pub, where all of his bachelor friends are gathered at the bar. “Hey, Dave!” shouts one of his buddies. “How’d you talk your wife into letting you come out with us?”

“Oh, I’m on my own for the week. She took the kids on a Caribbean cruise.”

“No, she wanted to.”

Which of these cruise jokes is your favorite? Let me know in the comments below!

Here are 40 Cruise Jokes you won’t want to miss

Cruise Jokes: Continue reading if you enjoy cruises and could use a good laugh! You’ll laugh out loud at this compilation of 50 of the greatest puns, cruise jokes, and even humorous things that have been heard on cruise ships.

As you prepare for a future vacation, the cruise puns and sayings can also serve as excellent social media captions! They can even be printed on cruise t-shirts and mugs!

Cruise Jokes

1. playing cards.

Why couldn’t the passengers play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck.

2. Sick Cruise Ships

Where do sick cruise ships go?

3. Phone Calls

What does a mermaid use to call her friends?

A shell phone, of course.

4. Life as a Crew Member

What’s it like working on a cruise ship?

It has its ups and downs.

5. Inside Cabins

A couple called guest services, complaining they were stuck and couldn’t get out of their cabin.

“What’s the issue?” answered the purser. “There are only two doors,” replied the woman. “One is the bathroom, and the other says Do Not Disturb.”

6. Shower Trouble

The showers in the cruise cabins are so small. I just soap the walls and spin around a few times!

7. Emotional Baggage

I told my suitcase I wouldn’t be taking a cruise this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage!

8. Ocean Waves

What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing. They just waved.

9. Marriage Trouble

I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.

10. Nervous Cruiser

A nervous first-time cruiser asked the Captain, “Do ships like this sink very often?” No, replied the Captain, “Usually only once.”

11. Mechanical Issues

What do you call an azipod that doesn’t work?

12. Bermuda Triangle

What would you call the Bermuda triangle if it had 4 corners? The Bermuda Wreck-Tangle

The cruise passenger turns to the captain and says, “What’s up with that guy?” The captain shrugs and replies, “I don’t know, but he’s happy to see us when we sail by!”

Check out Port Canaveral Cruise Parking Discounts

14. Christmas Cruise Joke

Where does Santa go on vacation?

15. Sinking Cruise Ship Joke

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea, and the cruise passengers manage to escape on lifeboats. A woman asks the Captain, “How far is the closest land?”

“3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad. In which direction? she asks.

The Captain replied, “Down.”

16. The Friendly Sea

How do we know we know the ocean is friendly?

17. Booze Cruise

On its last night at sea, a cruise ship sails back from the Caribbean. Just before dinner time, the captain gets on the loudspeaker.

A few hours later, the captain gets on the loudspeaker again.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize, but we’ve run out of booze. On the upside, we still have a thousand delicious meals for you to enjoy!”

18. Lost Rolex

A wealthy passenger took a cruise vacation to a tropical island and decided to sunbathe on the beach. Wanting an even tan, he took off his luxury watch and slipped it into his pocket.

19. Pier Pressure

What keeps a dock floating above water?

Pier pressure.

20. Breaking News

Breaking news: Passengers trapped on a cruise ship on the ocean for 4 days.

On the bright side, it’s kind of what they paid for .

Differences between Cruise Suites and Balcony Cabins

21. Latest Cruise Ship Trend

Did you hear the latest trend is installing trampolines on cruise ships? Now everyone is jumping on board.

22. Vegetables

What vegetable isn’t allowed on cruise ships?

23. Marine life

Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

24. Bermuda Triangle

25. the magician and the parrot.

A magician worked on a cruise ship, performing the same tricks each week for new passengers.

The captain’s pet parrot came to all the shows and figured out how the tricks worked. He began to shout out during the performances. “It’s up his sleeve,” spoiling the illusions.

One night, the ship sank. The magician found himself stranded on a desert island, along with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred for days, neither uttering a word.

Finally, after three days, the parrot couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Okay, I give up,” he said. “What did you do with the ship?”

Short cruise jokes

Most of these cruise jokes are family friendly, so you can even teach your children any of them before your next cruise.

26. Ocean waves

Nothing. They just waved

27. Colorful Cruise ship accident

Did you hear about the red cruise ship and the blue cruise ship that crashed into each other at sea?

All the survivors were marooned.

28. Mermaids

A shell phone of course!

29. Latest cruise ship trend

30. cruise ship talk, 31. nervous new cruiser.

A nervous first time cruiser asked the Captain, “Do ships like this sink very often?” No, replied the Captain, “Usually only once.”

32. No Leeks allowed

33. cruise crew joke.

It has it’s up and downs

Longer cruise jokes

34. on a cruise ship deck.

The cruise passenger turns to the captain and says “What’s up with that guy?” The captain shrugs and replies “I don’t know, but he’s happy to see us every year when we pass!”

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea and the cruise passengers manage to escape on life boats. A woman asks the Captain “How far is the closest land?”

“3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad, in which direction?, she asks.

The Captain replied “Down”

36. Inside cabin problems

A couple called down to guest services, complaining that they were stuck and couldn’t get out of their cabin.

“What’s the issue?”, answered the purser. “There are only 2 doors”, replied the woman. “One is the bathroom and the other says Do Not Disturb.”

37. A Pirate in a Bar

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, “Hey, what’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Argh, I’ve got a bounty on my head.”

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

38. Airplane travel

What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?

The plane chocolate.

39. Flight trouble

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?

It was overbooked

40. Haunted cruise

What do ghosts eat on a cruise?

Best time to book a Cruise

Cruise Ship Salaries: A Comprehensive Analysis

Cruise Jokes

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't black people go on cruises?

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Cruise Tips For Families & Single Cruisers

Things to Know Before You Cruise

Ahoy Matey! 27 Hilarious Cruise Jokes To Keep You Laughing ⚓️🤣

Ahoy mates! As someone who loves cruising, I know that it can be a time to relax, recharge, and have some fun. And what better way to have fun than with some hilarious cruise ship jokes?

I’ve compiled a list of 27 jokes that are sure to keep you laughing throughout your entire cruise. Whether you’re a first-time cruiser or a seasoned pro, there’s something for everyone in this list.

From family-friendly humor to adult-only jokes, from one-liners to funny stories, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. So sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh with these hilarious cruise ship jokes.

And who knows, you might even make some new friends by sharing a few of these jokes around the ship. So let’s set sail on a laughter-filled journey!

The article contains 27 clean and funny cruise ship jokes, with subtopics including spring break, sunbathing, language classes, and more.
The author mentions that most cruise ships have comedy shows on board, with options for family-friendly and adult comedy.
The post may contain affiliate links, which could earn the author commission as an Amazon Associate.
The author has extensive experience in the cruise industry and offers additional content on cruise ship memes, nautical greetings, and sea quotes.

Cruise Joke List

I have to say, I love how Mike Schimdt has compiled this list of 27 hilarious cruise ship jokes.

It’s great to see the wide variety of humor that can be found on a cruise ship, from the classic genie wish gone wrong to parrots spoiling magic tricks.

And of course, there’s the ever popular lost Rolex joke. It’s a testament to the creativity and humor of cruise ship entertainment and staff.

It’s also great to see that the jokes are clean and family-friendly, while still being funny and clever. It shows that you don’t need to rely on crude humor to get a laugh.

From the nervous cruiser to the scotch and water drinker, there’s something for everyone on this list. It’s a great reminder that humor is an important part of the cruise experience, and adds to the overall enjoyment of the trip.

Family-Friendly Humor

With so many family-friendly comedy shows available on cruise ships, it’s no wonder that parents and kids alike can enjoy a good laugh while sailing on the high seas. Whether it’s a stand-up comedian or a comedic magician, there’s something for everyone on board. Cruise ship activities don’t just involve swimming and sunbathing, there’s also a wide range of entertainment options that are perfect for families.

To emphasize the importance of family-friendly humor on cruise ships, here’s a table showcasing some of the best comedy shows available for families:

With so many options available, families can enjoy a variety of cruise ship entertainment that caters to their specific interests. Whether it’s a magic show, a comedy act, or a puppet show, there’s something for everyone. The best part is that these shows are all family-friendly, so parents can relax and enjoy the entertainment without having to worry about any inappropriate content. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh on your next cruise vacation!

Adult-Only Humor

For those seeking a more mature sense of humor, adult-only comedy shows on cruise ships offer a chance to unwind and enjoy some naughty nautical and risqué routines.

These shows are typically held in the evenings, after the family-friendly shows have ended, and are designed for adults who want to let loose and have a good laugh.

The comedians performing in these shows are often more daring and edgier than their family-friendly counterparts, which makes for a night of laughter that you won’t soon forget.

Whether it’s poking fun at the cruise ship staff or sharing humorous stories about their own lives, these comedians know how to push the envelope and keep their audience laughing until their sides hurt.

So, if you’re looking for a night of adult-only humor while on your next cruise, be sure to check out the comedy shows and get ready to let loose and have some fun!

Spring Break Jokes

When planning for my spring break cruise, I can’t wait to share these clever and witty jokes with my friends and family.

The first joke about a genie and beer ocean wish is bound to get a good laugh out of everyone. Who wouldn’t want to wish for an endless supply of beer while cruising on the open sea?

But that’s not the only joke on the list that will have everyone chuckling. From jokes about nervous cruisers to sailors blowing their noses, there’s something for everyone.

And if you’re looking for a more family-friendly option, the castaway joke about a happy man on an island is sure to please.

So sit back, relax, and get ready to have a good laugh with these hilarious cruise jokes.

A genie grants a man three wishes, and he wishes for an endless supply of beer in the ocean.

A man stands on the deck playing cards and a gust of wind blows them away.

A castaway is finally rescued from a deserted island and is asked how he survived.

Castaway Jokes

I particularly enjoy the castaway jokes on the list, especially the one about the happy man who was rescued from the island. It made me laugh out loud imagining the sheer joy and relief he must have felt when he finally saw the rescue boat approaching. Speaking of happy islands, have you ever dreamt of being stranded on a beautiful tropical island with nothing to worry about but sipping piña coladas and sunbathing? Well, according to a recent survey, 75% of Americans have.

To help you visualize this dream scenario, let me paint a picture for you. Imagine yourself lying on a white sandy beach, with crystal clear turquoise water on one side and a lush green jungle on the other. You’re holding a colorful drink with a little umbrella in one hand, and a parrot is perched on the other, doing tricks for your entertainment. Ah, the sweet taste of freedom! But let’s be real, we all know that being stranded on an island would also come with its own set of challenges. Just take a look at this table:

All things considered, I think I’ll stick to daydreaming about island adventures and leave the castaway jokes to the comedians. Speaking of which, did you hear about the magician and his parrot? Let’s just say, the bird had a few tricks up its sleeve that the audience wasn’t expecting.

Ship Sinking Jokes

My mind meanders to the morbid as I muse about the mishaps that may materialize when ships sink. But leave it to cruise ship comedians to turn a harrowing event into a humorous one.

I recall a joke where a cruise ship sinks, and passengers escape on lifeboats. Two bankers are the only survivors, and one makes a business joke. It’s a witty take on a scary scenario, and it’s the kind of humor that makes light of a situation and alleviates fear.

On a more serious note, when a ship sinks, the captain makes announcements to keep passengers informed and calm. It’s a crucial role, and one that requires both leadership and compassion.

But in today’s modern era, it’s not just safety and communication that are evolving on cruise ships. The latest trend is installing trampolines for guests to bounce around on the high seas. Who knew that bouncing on a trampoline could be a fun way to pass the time on a sinking ship? I suppose it’s one way to stay afloat, both literally and figuratively.

Cabin Steward Jokes

As a frequent cruiser, I always look forward to the cabin steward jokes that are often shared during the family-friendly comedy shows on board.

One of my favorite jokes involves the cabin steward making the bed in the middle of the night while the passengers are sleeping. The punchline goes something like this: "I never knew someone could make a bed while I was still in it!"It’s a classic joke that never fails to get a laugh from the audience.

Another popular cabin steward joke involves cleaning pranks. The comedian tells a story about a passenger who left a note on the bathroom mirror asking the steward to clean it. The next day, the passenger found a note on the mirror that read, "I cleaned the mirror, but I couldn’t find your face!"

And let’s not forget the bedtime stories that some cabin stewards like to tell. One comedian joked about how his cabin steward told him a bedtime story about a cruise ship that sank, causing him to have nightmares for the rest of the trip.

These types of jokes add a fun element to the cruise experience and keep passengers entertained throughout their trip.

One-Liner Jokes

Feeling in need of a good laugh? These one-liner jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone on your next cruise adventure.

Whether you’re looking for a family-friendly joke or something a bit more adult, these quick quips are perfect for sharing with your fellow shipmates. So, without further ado, here are four one-liner cruise jokes to keep you chuckling:

‘Why did the pirate take a parrot on his cruise? For the arrrrrrrrguments!’

‘I took a language class on my last cruise. Let’s just say, I still don’t know how to ask for directions to the bathroom.’

‘Why did the magician bring a parrot on stage? To make his tricks more a-PECK-ting!’

‘I tried to book a small ship for my next cruise, but they said it was too premature to make a reservation.’

These jokes are sure to have you and your fellow passengers laughing out loud. Whether you’re lounging by the pool or taking in a comedy show, these one-liners are the perfect way to lighten the mood and enjoy your time at sea.

So, why not share a joke or two with your shipmates and see who can come up with the funniest punchline? After all, laughter’s the best medicine, even on a cruise ship!

What are the latest cruise deals available for booking?

I just booked a cruise and found amazing deals on popular cruise lines! From luxurious spas and gourmet dining to thrilling water slides and Broadway shows, cruise ship amenities are unbeatable. Can’t wait to set sail and feel the freedom of the open sea!

How can readers book tickets for comedy shows on board cruise ships?

Booking tickets for comedy shows on board cruise ships is easy. Simply check the ship’s schedule for show times and visit the onboard box office to purchase tickets. Pricing options vary, but there are usually family-friendly and adult-only shows available.

Can readers share their own cruise jokes or memes with the author’s email list?

Hey there! I love a good cruise joke as much as the next person, but let’s talk about reader participation. Have you ever shared your own hilarious cruise experience or meme with the author’s email list? It’s a great way to connect and share laughs!

What are some popular cruise ship destinations that the author recommends?

When it comes to the best cruise destinations for families, the Caribbean and Mediterranean are top picks. The Caribbean offers beautiful beaches and tropical weather, while the Mediterranean has rich history and culture. Both offer a sense of freedom and adventure.

Are there any safety measures in place on cruise ships to prevent ship sinkings or accidents?

Cruise safety measures are taken seriously onboard. Emergency protocols are in place, including lifeboats, evacuation drills, and GPS tracking systems. It’s like being a captain of your own ship, with backup plans for any situation.

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Unleash your laughter with our joke vault

Sail Away with Laughter: A Hilarious Collection of Cruise Ship Jokes

Embark on a journey of laughter as we explore the lighter side of cruise ship life with a collection of witty cruise ship jokes.

From the antics of passengers to the quirks of crew members, this article is packed with rib-tickling humor that will have you rolling in the aisles – or perhaps, rolling on the waves!

Whether you’re a seasoned cruiser or just dreaming of setting sail , these jokes will entertain and delight you, offering a glimpse into the playful camaraderie that makes cruising so much fun.

1 Cruise Ship Jokes
2 Cruise Ship Dad Jokes
3 Cruise Ship Bingo Jokes
4 Funny Cruise Ship One Liners
5 Cruise Ship Crew Jokes
6 Final Words

Cruise Ship Jokes

Why did the cruise ship refuse to accept credit cards? Because it wanted to stay afloat!
What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved.
Why don’t pirates take cruises? Because they prefer to travel by arrrrr!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite kind of music? Sea shanties!
Why did the cruise ship go to school? To learn its port from its starboard!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite movie? Titanic. It’s a classic!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get lost? Because they always have a captain at the helm!
What’s a cruise ship’s least favorite vegetable? Leeks! They don’t want anything to do with springing a leak.
Why did the cruise ship have trouble sleeping? Because it kept tossing and turning!
What do you call a pirate’s cruise ship? Aye-liner!
Why was the cruise ship so good at sports? Because it had a great “deck”!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite part of a book? The prologue, because it’s all about setting sail!
Why don’t cruise ships play hide and seek? Because they’re always on deck!
Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
What’s a cruise ship’s favorite snack? Ship dip!
Why was the cruise ship so popular? Because it had a “sea”-lection of activities for everyone!
Why did the cruise ship get into a fight? It had a stern disagreement!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get sunburned? Because they always remember to apply “sail” screen!

Cruise Ship Dad Jokes

Why don’t cruise ships ever go hungry? Because they always have plenty of “sea”food!
Why did the cruise ship bring a map to dinner? Because it wanted to find its way to the table!
Why don’t cruise ships play cards? Because they’re always dealing with the shuffle of the waves!
What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the cruise ship get promoted? Because it had outstanding “sail”-smanship!
Why was the cruise ship so good at telling jokes? Because it had a great sense of “humor”!
What do you call a cruise ship’s pet? A “sea”-creature!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get lonely? Because they’re always surrounded by “ship”-mates!
Why don’t cruise ships ever make good detectives? Because they’re always jumping to “conclusions”!
Why did the cruise ship bring a broom to the party? Because it wanted to sweep everyone off their feet!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get lost? Because they always stay on course!
Why did the cruise ship’s internet connection break up with it? Because it couldn’t handle the “wave”-length!
Why did the cruise ship start a band? Because it had plenty of “port”-able instruments!
Why did the cruise ship always win at games? Because it had a great “deck” of cards!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get jealous? Because they’re always in a stable relationship with the sea!
Why was the cruise ship so popular with plants? Because it had a great “deck” for them to sunbathe on!
Why was the cruise ship such a good listener? Because it had a “port”-able ear!
Why was the cruise ship so good at dancing? Because it had a fantastic “keel”!
Why did the cruise ship win the race? Because it had a great “lead”!
Why don’t cruise ships ever get stage fright? Because they’re used to being in the spotlight!
Why did the cruise ship become a doctor? Because it had a lot of “patients”!
Why did the cruise ship wear sunglasses? Because it wanted to stay cool as a “cucumber”!
Why was the cruise ship always so calm? Because it knew how to keep a steady “helm”!
Why did the cruise ship become a chef? Because it loved to “whisk” people away with its culinary delights!

Cruise Ship Bingo Jokes

Why did the bingo player bring a ladder on the cruise ship? To reach those high numbers!
What’s a bingo player’s favorite part of a cruise? The B-I-N-G-O nights, of course!
Why did the bingo player go on a cruise? To find the ultimate jackpot: a full ship!
Why did the bingo player bring a life jacket to the bingo game on the cruise ship? In case they got “bingo” and started drowning in winnings!
Why did the bingo player bring binoculars on the cruise? To keep an eye on the numbers, of course!
What did the bingo player say when they finally won on the cruise ship? “Ship ahoy! Bingo!”
Why was the cruise ship’s bingo game always so popular? Because it was all aboard for B-I-N-G-O!
What’s a bingo player’s favorite part of the cruise ship? The bingo hall, where they can shout “bingo” and make waves!
Why was the bingo player always so calm during storms on the cruise ship? Because they knew they had a “B-I-N-G-O” to ride out the waves!
Why was the bingo player always ready for a cruise? Because they knew how to “B-I-N-G-O” with the flow!
Why did the bingo player get a sunburn on the cruise ship? Because they spent too much time in the bingo hall and forgot to apply sunscreen!
What did the bingo player say when they won the jackpot on the cruise ship? “I’m feeling ship-shape and bingo-rich!”
Why did the bingo player always have a crowd around them on the cruise ship? Because they were always yelling, “B-I-N-G-O!”
Why was the cruise ship’s bingo game like a popular port of call? Because everyone wanted to dock there and play!
Why did the bingo player bring a compass on the cruise ship? To always know which way to shout, “Bingo!”
What did the bingo player say to the captain of the cruise ship? “Set sail for the B-I-N-G-O hall, captain!”
Why did the cruise ship’s bingo game attract so many players? Because it was always smooth sailing to the jackpot!
Why did the bingo player bring a life preserver to the cruise ship’s bingo game? In case they got too excited and needed to stay afloat in a sea of winnings!
Why did the cruise ship’s bingo caller always have a great sense of direction? Because they knew how to navigate through the numbers!
What did the bingo player say when they won on the cruise ship? “I’m on a roll, and it’s not just the waves!”
Why did the bingo player pack their lucky charm for the cruise? Because they knew they needed all the luck they could get to win big in the bingo hall!
Why did the cruise ship’s bingo game have such high stakes? Because it was all about sailing away with the jackpot!
What did the bingo player say when they won the cruise ship’s jackpot? “I’m floating on B-I-N-G-O clouds!”
Why did the bingo player bring a snorkel to the cruise ship’s bingo game? In case they drowned in excitement after yelling, “Bingo!”
What did the bingo player say to the cruise ship’s bartender? “I’ll have a B-I-N-G-O cocktail, please!”
Why did the bingo player always have a smile on their face on the cruise ship? Because they knew there were always plenty of chances to yell, “Bingo!”
Why did the cruise ship’s bingo game always sell out? Because everyone wanted a chance to win big and shout, “Bingo!”
Why was the cruise ship’s bingo hall like a magnet? Because it always attracted players looking for a sea of numbers!
What did the bingo player say when they won the cruise ship’s jackpot? “I’m riding the waves of bingo luck!”
Why did the bingo player bring a telescope on the cruise ship? To see the numbers clearly and yell, “Bingo!”
What did the bingo player say when they won on the cruise ship? “I’m cruising to victory with B-I-N-G-O!”
Why did the cruise ship’s bingo game have such a large turnout? Because it was always a full house in more ways than one!
Why did the bingo player bring a captain’s hat to the cruise ship’s bingo game? To show they were ready to navigate their way to victory!
What did the bingo player say when they won the cruise ship’s jackpot? “I’m setting sail with B-I-N-G-O treasure!”
Why did the bingo player bring a life raft to the cruise ship’s bingo game? In case they were swept away by a tidal wave of winnings!

Funny Cruise Ship One Liners

I told my wife we should go on a cruise, but she said we couldn’t afford it. So I asked her, “Can’t you just let it ‘sea’?”
My favorite part of the cruise? Not needing to make my bed for a week. It’s smooth sailing from there!
Why did the pirate book a cruise? He needed a little “arr” and “r”!
Cruise ships are like floating hotels, except instead of a mint on your pillow, you get a sunburn on the deck!
I went on a cruise and brought back a ton of souvenirs. Now my wallet is as empty as the ocean!
I tried to organize a cruise for introverts, but nobody wanted to come out of their cabins.
Why did the cruise ship go to school? It wanted to learn how to make waves in the world!
My friend said he doesn’t like cruises because he gets seasick. I told him it’s all in the ‘motion’ of the ocean!
I went on a cruise with a magician once. The food disappeared, but my waistline magically expanded!
Why did the cruise ship refuse to stop at the port? It didn’t want to embark on any unnecessary shore leave!
I asked the captain why he doesn’t worry about storms. He said he just “rides the waves”!
I met a psychic on the cruise ship. She said she could see my future, but it was a bit foggy.
I tried to impress my date on the cruise by saying I knew all the ropes. Turns out, I just got tangled in them!
I asked the cruise director if they had a gym onboard. He pointed to the buffet and said, “There’s your workout!”
They say time flies when you’re having fun. On a cruise, it sails!
I asked the bartender on the cruise for a double. He said, “Sure, here’s your life jacket!”
The best thing about a cruise ship wedding? No one can leave before the vows are said!
I tried to find a quiet spot on the cruise ship. Turns out, the engine room isn’t the best place for a nap.
I went on a diet before my cruise. It lasted until I saw the dessert buffet!
My wife said she wanted to renew our vows on a cruise ship. I guess it’s time to “sea” our love float again!
I thought about bringing my pet fish on the cruise, but then I realized it might get seasick!
The captain of the cruise ship asked if anyone knew how to steer. I said, “I’m ‘keel’ing it!”
I went on a diet cruise once. It was so successful, they ran out of food by day three!
I joined the cruise ship’s choir, but they told me my singing was making the dolphins swim away.
I asked the cruise ship photographer for a picture. He said, “Sure, just strike a ‘sea’rious pose!”
My friend said he hates cruises because he always gets lost. I told him, “Just follow the trail of buffet crumbs!”
I went on a Mediterranean cruise. Turns out, the only Greek I learned was “Opa!” at the onboard party.
I asked the cruise ship waiter if the dessert was gluten-free. He said, “Of course, it’s made from seaweed!”
The cruise ship comedian asked if anyone had a good joke. I told him about the Wi-Fi connection!
I tried to join the cruise ship’s band, but they said my musical talent was all “washed up”!
I asked the captain how he stayed so calm during rough seas. He said, “I just keep a ‘keel’ attitude!”
I tried to impress the cruise ship’s captain with my knowledge of knots. He said, “That’s knot bad!”

Cruise Ship Crew Jokes

Why did the cruise ship crew member bring a ladder to work? To climb the ranks!
Why was the cruise ship’s chef so popular? Because they knew how to “cater” to everyone’s tastes!
Why did the cruise ship’s captain start a band? Because they wanted to set sail with some “sea”rious music !
Why was the cruise ship’s bartender always in demand? Because they knew how to mix things up and keep the drinks flowing!
Why was the cruise ship’s engineer so good at their job? Because they knew how to keep things running smoothly, no matter how rough the seas!
Why did the cruise ship’s comedian always get laughs? Because they had a knack for finding the humor in every wave!
Why did the cruise ship’s housekeeper get promoted? Because they always kept the cabins shipshape!
Why did the cruise ship’s lifeguard never get tired of their job? Because they loved to “sea” people having fun in the pool !
Why did the cruise ship’s photographer always have a smile on their face? Because they loved capturing all the happy moments onboard!
Why did the cruise ship’s fitness instructor never have trouble motivating people? Because they knew how to get everyone “ship”shape!
Why was the cruise ship’s pianist so popular? Because they knew how to strike the right chord with the passengers!
Why did the cruise ship’s tour guide have a great sense of direction? Because they knew how to navigate through ports of call like a pro!
Why did the cruise ship’s waiter always have a full tray? Because they knew how to serve up smiles along with the meals!
Why did the cruise ship’s nurse always have a steady hand? Because they knew how to keep everyone feeling shipshape!
Why was the cruise ship’s DJ always in demand? Because they knew how to keep the party rocking all night long!
Why did the cruise ship’s magician never reveal their secrets? Because they liked to keep the passengers guessing with their “sea”crets!
Why was the cruise ship’s electrician always so bright? Because they knew how to keep the lights on, even during storms!
Why did the cruise ship’s masseuse have magic hands? Because they knew how to melt away stress and leave passengers feeling relaxed and rejuvenated!
Why was the cruise ship’s concierge always so helpful? Because they knew how to make every passenger feel like a VIP!
Why did the cruise ship’s dive instructor never get bored? Because they loved exploring the underwater world with passengers and discovering new sights!
Why was the cruise ship’s hairdresser always fully booked? Because they knew how to make everyone look shipshape for dinner!
Why did the cruise ship’s captain love the crew’s jokes? Because they kept the atmosphere light and the morale high!
Why did the cruise ship’s security guard never lose focus? Because they knew how to keep a sharp eye on things, ensuring everyone’s safety!
Why did the cruise ship’s singer always hit the right notes? Because they knew how to serenade the passengers with their melodious voice!
Why did the cruise ship’s language instructor have a knack for teaching? Because they knew how to make learning fun, even while sailing the high seas!
Why did the cruise ship’s bartender become a comedian? Because they knew how to mix drinks and laughter in equal measures!
Why did the cruise ship’s deckhand always have a smile on their face? Because they loved being out in the fresh sea air, making sure everything was shipshape!
Why did the cruise ship’s florist have a green thumb? Because they knew how to brighten up the ship with beautiful blooms!
Why did the cruise ship’s captain trust the crew with their lives? Because they knew they were in good hands with such a dedicated and skilled team!
Why did the cruise ship’s crew always stick together? Because they knew that teamwork made the dream work, especially when sailing the high seas!

Final Words

Bon voyage to laughter! We hope these cruise ship jokes have brought a smile to your face and brightened your day.

Whether you’re lounging on the deck, enjoying a delicious meal in the dining hall, or simply daydreaming about your next voyage, remember to take a moment to share a laugh with your fellow cruisers.

After all, as the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine – especially when you’re sailing the high seas!

Hey there i am Amit a witty soul who never saw life through the same lens as other, my life always revolves around making others smile. Here on my website you will get daily dose of laughter on numerous topics that are lighthearted and witty.

Welcome to Luxury Travel Docs!

We are the Ultimate Guide to Meaningful and Healthy Travel with Hands-On Travel Advice!

Thursday, July 6, 2023

Smooth sailing with laughter: 25 best cruise jokes to keep you afloat, embarking on a cruise vacation is a delightful way to explore the vast ocean and visit exotic destinations. but let's not forget that humor is an essential part of any memorable journey whether you're a seasoned cruiser or planning your first voyage, we've compiled a collection of the 25 best cruise jokes to bring a smile to your face and make your seafaring adventure even more enjoyable. so, prepare to set sail on a laughter-filled voyage.

(Note: If you haven't checked out our comprehensive guide on cruise essentials, be sure to read it here to make the most of your cruise experience.)

1. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? "Nothing, it just waved!"

2. Why did the pirate go on a cruise? He wanted to find some arrrr and arrrr.

3. What do you call a boat that can never sink? Friendship – it keeps you afloat!

4. How do you recognize a happy cruiser? They're always buoyant!

5. Why did the cruise ship hire a comedian? To add some humor in their "sea" entertainment!

6. What did the captain say to the deckhand when he lost his sea legs? "Don't worry, you'll find them portside!"

7. How did the cruise ship send a text message? It used a "seam" card!

8. Why was the math book on the cruise ship sad? It had too many problems to solve!

9. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship chef? "I've got some good recipes, but they're a little salty!"

10. How do you make a tissue dance on a cruise ship? You put a little "boogie" in it!

11. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the cruise ship? Because he heard the captain was stepping up the game!

12. Why did the crew member bring a ladder to the dance party? They heard the ship's DJ was playing the top deck!

13. What's a cruise ship's favorite kind of music? Yacht rock!

14. How do cruise ships communicate with each other? They use "sail" phones!

15. Why do cruise ships make terrible comedians? Because their delivery is always too "shipshape"!

16. What did one cruise ship say to the other cruise ship? "Are you ready for some ship-to-ship fun?"

17. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship photographer? "I'll make sure you're framed in the perfect shot!"

18. Why did the cruise ship go to school? It wanted to become a "straight-A" vessel!

19. What do you call a cruise ship that tells jokes? A "laughing" stock!

20. Why did the cruise ship blush? It saw the ocean's bottom!

21. What did the cruise ship say to the iceberg? "Let's chill together!"

22. Why don't cruise ships ever get lost? Because they always stay in "ship-shape" navigation!

23. What did the cruise ship say to the captain? "You're steering me in the right direction!"

24. Why did the ghost go on a cruise? It wanted to find the "skeleton" crew!

25. What do you call a pirate on a cruise ship? Lost – he couldn't find his "mateys"!

Conclusion:

Laughter is a universal language that knows no bounds, and it can enhance any experience, including a cruise vacation. We hope these 25 cruise jokes have brought a smile to your face and added a touch of humor to your seafaring adventures. So, the next time you set sail, be sure to pack your cruise essentials as mentioned in our comprehensive guide . With these jokes and your well-prepared essentials, your journey will be filled with laughter, joy, and unforgettable memories! Bon voyage!

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25 Funny-Relatable Cruise Memes and Cruise Jokes Revolving Cruise Travel

Embark on a laughter-filled voyage with our collection of cruise memes and jokes.

Whether you’re in for outright hilarity, honest truths, or a dose of delightful corniness, our selection captures the diverse humor of the cruise experience. From buffet fun to navigating cruise ship dilemmas, join us in celebrating the lighter side of cruise travel with these funny and relatable cruise memes and jokes.

Feel free to share our cruise memes and jokes with your friends. Don’t forget to tag us! Tell us your favorite cruise meme, cruise joke, or cruise pun in the comments.

Table of Contents

1. Formal Flip Flop Night

graphic image of meme with a picture of 3 pairs of feet wearing flip flops with the text: Me deciding which shoes to pack for a cruise: 'But what if there's a formal flip-flop night?'

Me deciding which shoes to pack for a cruise: “But what if there’s a formal flip-flop night?”

2. Why did the banana go on a cruise?

graphic of a joke of a cruise deck with a cartoon banana and text that says: Why did the banana go on a cruise? Because it wanted to slip into vacation mode.

Why did the banana go on a cruise? Because it wanted to slip into vacation mode.

3. Cruise Math is Hard

$graphic of a meme of a man hitting hit forehead against a chalkboard with the text above it: Choosing a drink package: Because adulting is hard, and so is math.$

Choosing a drink package: Because adulting is hard, and so is math.

4. Trying all the Cruise Desserts

graphic of two images one of a women eating a healthy salad and the other of a hand holding a dessert with more desserts in the backgrund with text: I'm going to eat healthy on this cruise. Also me... let me try all the desserts.

I’m going to eat healthy on this cruise. Also me… let me try all the desserts.

5. The Wardrobe Doesn’t Go as Planned

Graphic Meme of two photos of a women dressed up in a nice dress and heels and another of feet wearing flip flops with the text: My cruise wardrobe plan vs. What I actually end up wearing.

My cruise wardrobe plan vs. What I actually end up wearing.

6. Why did the cruise ship break up with the ocean?

Why did the cruise ship break up with the ocean? It needed space.

7. Fairy Godmother On Formal Night

graphic meme of a women dressed in a long black dress, heels and tiara with a cruise deck in the background with the text: When Your Fairy Godmother Shows up for Formal Night

When your fairy godmother shows up for formal night.

8. Cruise o’Clock Meme

The only countdown that matters: Cruise o’clock!

9. Cruise Sea Days and Lounge Chairs

Finding a lounge chair on a cruise sea day: Mission Impossible!

10. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship?

What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved.

11. More Time Eating Than Exploring

graphic meme of an image of a confused girl holding up an empty plate in a buffet with the text: When you've spent more time eating than exploring the ports.

When you’ve spent more time eating than exploring the ports.

12. Cruise Elevators

The real test of patience on a cruise: elevators.

Cruise Tip: Always take the stairs.

13. 3 Rules of Cruising

graphic me of animated cruise pool deck with the 3 rules of cruising

Rule 1: Don’t ask someone their real age; we’re all forever 29 on the Lido Deck. Rule 2: No calorie counting. Calories don’t count at sea, right? Rule 3: If someone drops their ice cream cone, we all pretend it never happened. Sea mishaps are classified under ‘Ship Happens.’

14. Packing for a Cruise Like a Tetris Champion

graphic meme of hands packing clothes with text: Me when it’s time to pack for a cruise: Pretending I'm a Tetris champion with my suitcase. aIt must all fit!

Me when it’s time to pack for a cruise: Pretending I’m a Tetris champion with my suitcase. It must all fit!

Read more: Cruise Items to Pack for a Cruise

15. Take Advantage Of The Drink Package

graphic meme of a happy dog celebrating with champagne with a speech buttle that says "another one, please" and text: Taking advantage of that drink package.

Taking advantage of that drink package. “Another one, please!”

16. Watching the Cruise Countdown

graphic meme of three images, a girl looking impatiently at her phone, a person dancin and another of a man ready for vacation with the text: When the cruise countdown is still in the triple digits... then hits the double digits and finally the single digits!

When the cruise countdown is still in the triple digits… then hits the double digits and finally the single digits!

17. Money Can Buy Happiness

Money can buy happiness. It’s called a cruise.

18. Studying Cruise Deck Maps

Studying the cruise deck maps like it’s a treasure map. Buffet, I’m coming for you!

19. Cocktail to Order Next

graphic meme of image of fruity cocktails sitting on a raining of a cruise ship with the text: On a Cruise: The only decision I want to make is which cocktail to order next.

On a Cruise: The only decision I want to make is which cocktail to order next.

20. Reading Turns Into Dancing By The Pool

woman sitting by the pool reading and another picture of a woman dancing in a pool with text: Me on a cruise: I'm going to read a book by the pool Also, me, when the DJ plays my favorite song: Get’s up to dance, “Oh, that’s my song!”

Me on a cruise: I’m going to read a book by the pool Also, me, when the DJ plays my favorite song: Get’s up to dance, “Oh, that’s my song!”

21. What’s a cruise ship’s favorite kind of music?

graphic for cruise joke, image of above drone shot of the pool deck of a cruise with the text: What's a cruise ship's favorite kind of music? Rock and roll!

What’s a cruise ship’s favorite kind of music? Rock and roll!

22. Waking Up Early For A Day At Port

graphic meme, man snoozing alarm in one photo and woman waking up bright and early in another phone with text: Waking for a day at work: Hitting snooze like it's my job. Waking up for a day at port.

Waking for a day at work: Hitting snooze like it’s my job. Waking up for a day at port.

23. Expert at the Cruise Spa

Cruise Spa Level: Expert. Because relaxation is a sport, and I’m going for the gold.

24. What to Get Me For My Birthday

graphic meme with a palm tree framing a cruise ship at sea with the words: In case you’re wondering what to get me for my birthday... I’m a size 7-night Caribbean Cruise

In case you’re wondering what to get me for my birthday… I’m a size 7-night Caribbean Cruise.

25. Daydreaming About 5 to 9

2 photos, one representing work and a beach vacation with words guess which one I'm daydreaming about? 9 to 5 or 5 to 9

Guess which one I’m daydreaming about? 9 to 5 (work) or 5 to 9 (on vacation)

BEFORE YOU SET SAIL, HERE ARE SOME RELATED ARTICLES YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS:

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Meet Kathy Ava, a food, travel, and cruise writer based in Los Angeles/Pasadena, and the owner and main writer of Tasty Itinerary. With over 20 years of experience planning trips and logistics at her full-time job and for herself, she's become a pro at crafting unforgettable tasty itineraries. She's always on the hunt for delicious, fun travel destinations and cruise itineraries. She firmly believes that life is short and we must make the most of it, so always say yes to dessert.

Cruise Ship Jokes: Laugh Out Loud on the High Seas

March 3, 2024

Are you ready to set sail on a laughter-filled voyage through the world of cruise ship humor? This article is your ticket to endless entertainment with a collection of hilarious cruise ship jokes that will have you chuckling all the way to your next port of call. Pack your sense of humor and get ready to embark on a journey of side-splitting comedy that is sure to make waves of laughter.

From the antics of passengers to the quirks of crew members, these cruise ship jokes cover a wide range of humor that is bound to tickle your funny bone. Whether you’re a seasoned cruiser or dreaming of your first nautical adventure, these jokes are the perfect companion to keep you smiling and laughing as you navigate the high seas of comedy.

Best Cruise Ship Jokes

Here’s five jokes about Cruise Ship:

1. Why did the cruise ship break up with the ocean? It couldn’t handle the waves!

2. What do you call a pirate’s favorite part of the cruise? The arrrrrrrcade!

3. Why did the sea captain go on a diet? He heard the buffet on the cruise ship was to die for!

4. What do you get when you cross a cruise ship with a magician? A disappearing act at sea!

5. How did the ocean say goodbye to the cruise ship? It waved!

Family Friendly Cruise Ship Jokes

Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Cruise Ship:

1. Why did the cruise ship break up with the ocean? It just couldn’t handle the waves anymore! 2. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved. 3. How do cruise ships keep their passengers entertained? With deck-ades of fun! 4. Why did the pirate go on a cruise? He needed some arr and arr relaxation! 5. What do you call a pirate’s favorite mode of transportation on a cruise ship? A plank walk! 6. Why was the math book sad on the cruise ship? It had too many problems. 7. What do you call a group of musical whales on a cruise ship? An orca-stra! 8. How do you make a tissue dance on a cruise ship? Put a little boogie in it! 9. Why did the cruise ship go to the doctor? It was feeling a little ship-sick. 10. What did the grape do on the cruise ship? It raisin’d the roof! 11. What kind of music do cruise ships listen to? Rock the boat! 12. Why did the cruise ship go to school? It wanted to be a little b-ship-er! 13. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved. 14. Where do fish keep their money on a cruise ship? In the riverbank! 15. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way on the cruise ship? It lost its bearings. 16. How does a cruise ship communicate with whales? Through sonar-waves! 17. Why did the cruise ship win an award? It out-sailed the competition! 18. What do you call a cruise ship full of dogs? A bark-tanical garden! 19. Why did the scarecrow win a cruise trip? It was outstanding in its field! 20. What kind of beans should you take on a cruise ship? Navy beans!

Cruise Ship Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes

1. Why did the cruise ship break up with the ocean? It couldn’t handle the waves anymore. 2. What did the cruise ship say to the storm? “I’m staying afloat no matter what!” 3. How do cruise ships communicate during a race? They use ship-to-ship messaging. 4. Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder to the party? To make a grand entrance. 5. WhatÕs a cruise shipÕs favorite type of music? Rock the boat. 6. Why did the cruise ship get good grades? It had a lot of schooner ships. 7. Why was the cruise ship so funny? It had a great sense of “sea” humor. 8. How do cruise ships make decisions? They put it to a vote on the ship’s wheel. 9. What do you call a pirate on a cruise ship? A stowaway. 10. Why did the cruise ship join the band? It had a lot of dock and roll experience. 11. Why did the cruise ship go to school? It wanted to be a captain of industry. 12. Why did the cruise ship visit the doctor? It had a case of seasickness. 13. Why was the cruise ship so popular at the party? It had a great anchor-sonality. 14. WhatÕs a cruise shipÕs favorite TV show? The Love Boat. 15. How do cruise ships stay in shape? They do port-side workouts. 16. Why do cruise ships love comedy shows? They always have a boat-load of laughs. 17. Why donÕt cruise ships play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding! 18. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved. 19. Why did the cruise ship chef win an award? Because he had a lot of “souper” skills. 20. Why donÕt cruise ships get lost at sea? Because they always have a clear itinerary.

Cruise Ship Dad Jokes

1. Why did the cruise ship refuse to play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck! 2. Did you hear about the cruise ship that went to the fancy dress party? It really raised the anchor! 3. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved. 4. Why did the cruise ship break up with its sweetheart? It couldn’t handle the long-distance relationship! 5. How do cruise ships communicate? They just wave at each other. 6. Why did the cruise ship go to school? To improve its sailing skills! 7. What did the grape say when it got stepped on the cruise ship? Nothing, it just let out a little wine. 8. Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It had too many issues with its hull. 9. Why don’t cruise ships ever get lost? Because they always stay on course! 10. Why was the cruise ship always the life of the party? Because it had a lot of boat-mance! 11. What do you call a pirate on a cruise ship? Aboard! 12. What do you call a fish that performs on a cruise ship? A stand-up bass! 13. Why did the cruise ship bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the drinks were on the house! 14. What do you call a magical cruise ship? Abracade-bra. 15. Why don’t cruise ships like to play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re over 900 feet long! 16. Why was the cruise ship so good at basketball? It had a great coach! 17. Why did the cruise ship apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to be a loaf-boat captain! 18. Why do cruise ships make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always go overboard! 19. What do you call a fake cruise ship? A sham-boat. 20. Why did the cruise ship bring a map to the party? In case it needed to plot a course to the buffet!

Cruise Ship Surreal Jokes

1. Why did the cruise ship break up with the iceberg? Because it was too cold and distant. 2. How do cruise ships communicate? They use nautical-talkey. 3. What do you call a cruise ship that’s always running late? The procrastinavigator. 4. Why did the octopus refuse to get on the cruise ship? It didn’t want to be caught in a net-flix and chill situation. 5. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved. 6. Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It had too many emotional baggage. 7. What do you call a pirate’s favorite cruise ship activity? Plank diving. 8. Why did the sea turtle bring a suitcase on the cruise ship? It wanted to shell-ebrate its vacation. 9. How did the cruise ship apologize to the lighthouse? It sent a light-hearted message. 10. Why did the cruise ship refuse to play hide and seek? It was tired of all the anchors away. 11. Why did the cruise ship wear sunscreen? To avoid getting a shipwrecked complexion. 12. How did the cruise ship get in shape for summer? It did regular plank exercises. 13. Why did the cruise ship bring a map to the buffet? It wanted to find the dessert islands. 14. What did the cruise ship say to the speedboat? “You really need to slow down and cruise with me.” 15. Why do cruise ships make terrible comedians? Their jokes always go overboard. 16. How did the cruise ship greet the tropical island? With a wave and a “shore” smile. 17. Why was the cruise ship always happy? It had a boat-load of fun every day. 18. What do you call a cruise ship that tells jokes? A pun-ting vessel. 19. Why did the cruise ship join a dance class? It wanted to learn how to do the ship-shake. 20. How does a cruise ship apologize when it accidentally docks at the wrong port? It offers everyone a free “seas” of reconciliation.

Cruise Ship Dark Humor Jokes

Here’s some funny Cruise Ship jokes for adults:

1. Why did the cruise ship break up with the ocean? It couldn’t handle the deep commitment. 2. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved. 3. How do cruise ships communicate during a storm? They just send each other distress signals. 4. Why did the skeleton go on a cruise? To find some “body” to dance with. 5. What do you call a pirate’s favorite cruise ship feature? The plank walk. 6. Why was the cruise ship such a good server? It always knew how to make a splash. 7. Why did the cruise ship get good grades in school? It had a lot of drive for success. 8. What did the cruise ship captain say when he lost his navigation tools? “I guess we’re all in the same boat now.” 9. How do you make a cruise ship laugh? Just tickle its anchor. 10. Why do cruise ships always carry a first aid kit? In case they get a little too “ship-faced.” 11. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship that cut it off? “You’ve got some nerve.” 12. How does a cruise ship apologize for running out of food? It offers a free “sea”food upgrade. 13. Why did the cruise ship go to therapy? It had trouble staying afloat emotionally. 14. Why was the cruise ship the life of the party? It always knew how to “rock the boat.” 15. How does a cruise ship stay in shape? It does regular dock squats. 16. What do you call a cruise ship that’s always running late? Tardy on the high seas. 17. Why did the cruise ship get into a fight with the lighthouse? It couldn’t see eye to “port.” 18. How did the cruise ship get a date with the ocean? It made some serious waves. 19. What do you call a cruise ship that tells bad jokes? A ship of fools. 20. Why did the cruise ship start a band? It wanted to make some “harbor” music.

How to Use Cruise Ship Jokes In a Conversation?

Cruise ship jokes can be a fun and light-hearted addition to any conversation, especially when talking about travel or vacation experiences. Whether you are reminiscing about a past cruise adventure or simply trying to lighten the mood, incorporating some cruise ship jokes can help keep the conversation entertaining and engaging.

Breaking the Ice

When starting a conversation or meeting new people, a well-timed cruise ship joke can be a great way to break the ice. You can open with a light-hearted joke about the size of cruise ships, the abundance of buffet food, or even the sometimes rough seas. This can help set a playful tone for the conversation and make people feel more at ease.

Shared Experiences

Sharing cruise ship jokes can also be a way to bond with others who have been on cruises before. By referencing common experiences such as the cramped cabins, endless activities, or over-the-top entertainment, you can quickly connect with others and create a sense of camaraderie. These shared jokes can help strengthen relationships and create a sense of belonging within the group.

Adding Humor

Incorporating cruise ship jokes into a conversation can also simply add a touch of humor and light-heartedness. Whether you are discussing a recent cruise vacation or just chatting about travel in general, a funny cruise ship joke can bring a smile to everyone’s face. This can help make the conversation more enjoyable and memorable for all parties involved.

Knowing Your Audience

As with any type of humor, it is important to gauge your audience when using cruise ship jokes in a conversation. Not everyone may find these jokes funny, so be mindful of the people you are speaking with and adjust your humor accordingly. If you sense that a joke is not landing well, it is best to move on to a different topic to keep the conversation flowing smoothly.

Final words

In conclusion, cruise ship jokes are a delightful form of entertainment that perfectly captures the whimsical and carefree spirit of being on board a luxury liner. The lighthearted nature of these jokes adds a touch of humor to any cruise experience, making passengers chuckle and bond over shared laughter. Whether poking fun at the buffet lines, onboard activities, or the sway of the ship, these jokes are a surefire way to bring a smile to the face of anyone sailing the high seas.

From humorous anecdotes about seasickness to witty observations about the onboard entertainment, cruise ship jokes never fail to elicit a laugh from passengers and crew members alike. They serve as a charming way to break the ice and create a jovial atmosphere onboard, fostering a sense of camaraderie among everyone onboard. So, the next time you find yourself on a cruise ship, don’t be surprised if you overhear some hillarious cruise ship jokes being shared around the deck.

Cruise Puns You Need To Steal

By: Indigo Sahara, M.A. | Published: February 1, 2023 | Updated: February 4, 2024

Between these cruise puns for Instagram captions , ship cruise puns , cruise one liners and short cruise jokes , you will never have to come up with cruise jokes ever again.

All of the cruise puns listed below are free for you to copy. If you use them in one of your Instagram caption, tag me in your photos at @indigosahara . I would love to see your post!

Without further ado, here are the best cruise puns !

Table of Contents

Cruise Puns For Instagram Captions

Sail -ebrate good times.
On cruise control.
No cruise control.
I like big boats and I cannot lie.
Cruising through life.
Coasting through life.
All hands on deck .
Let your dreams set sail .
Sea you soon.
Sea you later.
Getting nauti on this cruise .
Last but naut least.
Last but knot least.
Can knot wait for our next cruise .
You’re a dream boat .
Cruising really floats my boat .
Seas the day.
I’m a wreck .
A- boat to get back on another cruise .
I aft to take another cruise ASAP.
Fishing I was on another cruise .
Vitamin sea .
Sorry, I’m on a cruise . My hands are tide .
Current -ly on a cruise .
I’m all a- boat going on another cruise .
This cruise has me feeling em- ocean -al.
To be Pacific , my favorite part of every cruise is the ocean.
Long time no sea .
I can sea clearly now. The rain is gone.
Sail -ebrating.
Thalassophile -ing good on this cruise .
Holler at your buoy .
I love cruises ferry much.
It’s a- boat time.
What’s all this a- boat ?
Why the stern face? You’re on a cruise ship !
Taking the sea -nic route.
Cruising runs in my blood vessels .
Hot dogs or sea legs .
Out of your league .
What’s up, dock ?
Fear naut .
Rocking the boat .
Happiness is at bay .

Ship Cruise Puns

Status: In a relation- ship .
Finally in a relation- ship .
I like cruise ships a yacht .
Waving the cruise ship goodbye.
Oh whale , I guess I have to stay on this cruise ship forever.
This cruise ship has me feeling fin -tastic.
You’re shore to have a good time on a cruise .
This cruise ship is ferry impressive.
Ship happens. Take a cruise .
Unfortunately this ship was knot for sail .
Sorry to barge in, but I’m on a cruise ship .
Worst fear? I’m a- freight I’ll never go on another cruise ship again.
Putting the ship in friend- ship .
Cruise ships are trendy. Everyone’s jumping on board .
Ship shape.
Cruise ships are very port -able.
Cruise ships really anchor me.
Here’s to friend- ship .

Cruise One Liners

Less blues, more cruise .
Hello cruise , goodbye blues.
Booze cruise .
Cruising for a bruising.
Bon voyage .
Cruise or snooze.
Paying my dues by going on a cruise .
Cruise with my crew .
Cruise cabin fever.
Could never be seasick of this view.
Cruise days and all-inclusive buffets .
Cruise calories don’t count.
Cruise hair, don’t care.
Aye, aye, capitan .
Whatever floats your boat .

Short Cruise Jokes

What did one cruise ship say to the other? Nothing. It just waved .
What do you do with a sick ship ? You take it to the doc .
You know what floats my boat ? Cruise ships .
What is scared and lies at the bottom of the ocean ? A nervous wreck .
What do you call the staff of several tourist ships ? Cruise members.
How do ships let off steam ? They cruise .
A cruise emergency would really sink .
If you open a cruise business, sails will go through the roof.
What type of vegetable can’t go on a cruise ? A leek.
How do you spell a sailor’s favorite word? Seven Cs.
Where do sailors keep their schoolbooks? Davy Jones’s Locker .
What do you do on a cruise if you feel seasick ? You go to the doc .
What do you call competing cruise lines ? Battleships .
The cruise was so incredible that it took a bow .
How do you meet new friends on cruise ships ? Ice breakers .

Which of these cruise puns were your favorite? Don’t forget to follow and tag me in your cruise photos for a chance to be feature on my Stories !

More Cruise Captions

Vacation Puns That Will Make You Go Coconuts 115 Travel Instagram Captions You Need This Year Funny Vacation Instagram Captions You Need To Steal 85 Travel Couple Captions Instagram Will Love

Save These Cruise Puns For Later

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About Indigo Sahara, M.A.

Indigo Sahara, M.A., is the founder and CEO of the Indigo Sahara travel blog. Since earning her master's degree in global leadership, she has traveled to more than 20 countries. Now, her goal is to make travel accessible to all by teaching others how to travel on a budget. She writes world travel guides and travel hacking tips weekly.

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Happy holidays – enjoy the 10 best jokes at sea on us!

A very nervous first time cruiser approached the captain: “do ships like this sink very often” replied the captain: “not too often – usually, it’s only once.”.

Corny? Sure. But P&O Cruises think Australians love their jokes so much, they’ve lined up some of the best comedians and laid on the biggest-ever season of comedy for 2019 with 38 comedy cruises.

There are 13 big-names from the belly laugh business headlining the season, including Tom Gleeson, Dave Hughes, Dave Thornton and Mel Buttle.

Their comedy cruises – called ‘The Big Laugh’ – depart from Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Adelaide and Auckland and range from two to four nights of rib-tickling fun.

A single short three-night cruise will be jammed packed with 32 shows – that’s 1,500 minutes of jokes combined.

“From big marquee performances to intimate gigs in our many stylish bars and lounges, the cruise will serve up different comedy genres every day and night. There will be something for everyone,” P&O Cruises President Sture Myrmell says.

‘The Big Laugh’ on Pacific Explorer departs Sydney on June 8, 2019. Fares start from $399* per person twin share.

Cruise Passenger is here to help warm up the crowd with what we think are the 10 best jokes at sea. Feel free to add your own!

1. What keeps a dock floating above water?

Pier pressure.

2. Why didn’t the sailors play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck.

3. Why are fast yachts like furniture stores?

Both always seem to have a sail on.

4. Which sailors blow their noses most often?

The Anchor Chiefs.

5. If something ever happened onboard where the water supply had to be shut off I’ll give you two reasons why you shouldn’t drink the water that’s left in the toilet.

6. Do you have time for a joke about the world’s fastest cruise ship?

Don’t worry, it’s a quick one liner.

7. I got my wife tickets to go on a cruise.

It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.

8. Breaking news: Passengers trapped on a cruise ship on the ocean for 4 days.

On the bright side, it’s kind of what they paid for

9. What does one ocean say to the other when they meet?

Nothing, they just waved.

10. A boat carrying red paint crashes into a boat carrying blue paint.

Unfortunately, the passengers and crew were marooned.

Hold the popcorn! I think we can both agree it’s probably best we leave the jokes to the professionals on board the comedy cruises.

See a few of them in action at the 2019 Melbourne International Comedy Festival last month :

Dave Hughes

Dave Thornton

Tom gleeson, related posts.

Find out all you need to know from our professional Cruise Passenger team

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Cruise&Travel magazine is Australia’s No.1 publication for travel enthusiasts.

There are four issues per year, with each issue is packed full of must-read features, including cruise news, reviews, destination guides and the most enticing itineraries.

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Cruise Ship Facts That Are Rarely Talked About

Posted: December 14, 2023 | Last updated: December 14, 2023

For some people, cruises are the ultimate getaway when planning their travels. They are a floating ecosystem and it's almost like being in a whole new world where everything you might need is located all in one place. But they also come with their own set of rules and realities. Whether you're a luxury cruise line expert or a novice thinking about taking your first trip, you'll want to know these cruise secrets before hopping on board. From secret amenities to things crew members know but never tell the guests, these fun facts will shed new light on the whole experience.

A Morgue Lurks Within Every Cruise Ship

Cruises are supposed to be about letting loose and having fun but there is often a dark side to cruises that passengers don't really see. Because a large portion of cruise goers usually tend to be older it's actually not uncommon for people to pass away while on ship.

One former crew estimated that around three people pass away every month on a cruise. Due to this, all cruise ships are required to have a morgue on board and usually has room for around three to six bodies.

<p>The requirement that crew members be as hospitable and nice as possible to passengers, they don't usually get a chance to say everything they'd like to say. For this reason, cruise ships keep a log where they write down everything that happens while on a trip. These logs keep everything from something as big as a fire or injury to something as minimal as a comment a guest made.</p><p>It sounds weird but all of that information helps an incoming crew best prepare and spot potential hazards and how to manage them best. This log can also be used as a venting outlet for crew.</p>

It Might Sound Creepy but Crew Members Keep Record of Everything That Guests Do

The requirement that crew members be as hospitable and nice as possible to passengers, they don't usually get a chance to say everything they'd like to say. For this reason, cruise ships keep a log where they write down everything that happens while on a trip. These logs keep everything from something as big as a fire or injury to something as minimal as a comment a guest made.

It sounds weird but all of that information helps an incoming crew best prepare and spot potential hazards and how to manage them best. This log can also be used as a venting outlet for crew.

<p>If you have ever seen pictures from a cruise you will have noted that the pools are often the most crowded areas on the ship. Even though the ship is floating on water, people just gravitate toward the pools anyway.ÃÂ It turns out that most cruise ships have "secret" pools reserved for their staff only. Because these pools are dedicated to staff they are often much less crowded.</p><p>Guests can however be invited and of course, a guest would have to make quite the impression on the crew in order to be invited to the secret pool. The invite is actually harder to secure than you would think, considering some of the rules on board.</p>

The Eerie Hidden Pools of Cruise Ships

If you have ever seen pictures from a cruise you will have noted that the pools are often the most crowded areas on the ship. Even though the ship is floating on water, people just gravitate toward the pools anyway. It turns out that most cruise ships have "secret" pools reserved for their staff only. Because these pools are dedicated to staff they are often much less crowded.

Guests can however be invited and of course, a guest would have to make quite the impression on the crew in order to be invited to the secret pool. The invite is actually harder to secure than you would think, considering some of the rules on board.

<p>Passenger safety on board is paramount and maintaining that safety is not an easy task. Crew are sometimes forced to speak in code, so they don't incite panic while still being able to act quickly during an emergency. Some of these codes are used for dealing with medical emergencies, reacting to a fire, or responding if someone falls overboard. If you ever wondered about what code word is usually used for someone falling overboard, then it's "oscar."</p><p>This really makes a lot of sense since the last thing you really want is to terrify your passengers or cause a panic making it harder to do your job.</p>

The Crew Speaks in Code to Keep Guests in the Dark

Passenger safety on board is paramount and maintaining that safety is not an easy task. Crew are sometimes forced to speak in code, so they don't incite panic while still being able to act quickly during an emergency. Some of these codes are used for dealing with medical emergencies, reacting to a fire, or responding if someone falls overboard. If you ever wondered about what code word is usually used for someone falling overboard, then it's "oscar."

This really makes a lot of sense since the last thing you really want is to terrify your passengers or cause a panic making it harder to do your job.

<p>Many cruise ships have casinos on board, and since most of the time you are traveling through international waters, it's completely legal. This also means that the cruise ship isn't necessarily subject to a single area's laws concerning gambling. The rules onboard will occasionally change depending on whatever country is closest.</p><p>Cruise ships might switch up the number of decks they use for blackjack, etc. and your odds of winning can change dramatically depending on where you are. Just be aware that the rules governing their games aren't set in stone, and can change.</p>

Gambling Rules on Board Aren't as Legal as You Think

Many cruise ships have casinos on board, and since most of the time you are traveling through international waters, it's completely legal. This also means that the cruise ship isn't necessarily subject to a single area's laws concerning gambling. The rules onboard will occasionally change depending on whatever country is closest.

Cruise ships might switch up the number of decks they use for blackjack, etc. and your odds of winning can change dramatically depending on where you are. Just be aware that the rules governing their games aren't set in stone, and can change.

<p>The buck stops with the Captain at all times while on board which is a fantastic system when it works, and it typically does. It makes sense that one person with experience should calling the shots during an emergency. The last thing you would want is two or more people wasting time arguing over a decision in a crisis. That being said, even captains make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes can be disastrous for a ship or its passengers.</p><p>It's not often that it happens which is why when it does it usually makes headlines. A few cruise ships have even been sunk due to a captain's decisions.</p>

Even Cruise Ships Are Vulnerable to Mysterious Accidents

The buck stops with the Captain at all times while on board which is a fantastic system when it works, and it typically does. It makes sense that one person with experience should calling the shots during an emergency. The last thing you would want is two or more people wasting time arguing over a decision in a crisis. That being said, even captains make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes can be disastrous for a ship or its passengers.

It's not often that it happens which is why when it does it usually makes headlines. A few cruise ships have even been sunk due to a captain's decisions.

<p>Strange things happen while at sea, and one of those things is when people go missing. It sounds weird but people really do go missing on ships. Approximately 165 people reportedly went missing while on a cruise from 1995 to 2011.</p><p>There is speculation that the number is possibly higher. This is separate from passengers that fall overboard. We're talking about people who have just disappeared without a trace and were never seen again.</p>

Sometimes Passengers Go Missing at Sea

Strange things happen while at sea, and one of those things is when people go missing. It sounds weird but people really do go missing on ships. Approximately 165 people reportedly went missing while on a cruise from 1995 to 2011.

There is speculation that the number is possibly higher. This is separate from passengers that fall overboard. We're talking about people who have just disappeared without a trace and were never seen again.

<p>On occasion you will hear about pirates taking over cargo ships or something like that but you don't often hear about cruise ships being boarded. Still, it does happen, and because of that the crew is trained for it.</p><p>In 2005 a cruise ship was targeted, and the crew used some kind of acoustic weapon to assault the pirates' eardrums. The attack was thwarted, and everyone on board went about enjoying their vacations.</p>

"I'm the Captain Now" - There's a Risk of Pirates Coming Onboard

On occasion you will hear about pirates taking over cargo ships or something like that but you don't often hear about cruise ships being boarded. Still, it does happen, and because of that the crew is trained for it.

In 2005 a cruise ship was targeted, and the crew used some kind of acoustic weapon to assault the pirates' eardrums. The attack was thwarted, and everyone on board went about enjoying their vacations.

<p>Where there are often hookups between crew members, they are strictly forbidden to fraternize with passengers while on board. This rule is mainly in place to protect the crew from being accused of anything inappropriate but it is also to protect the cruise company from being sued by a passenger.</p><p>The cruise company will have a much easier time cleaning up in-house than it would feilding a public lawsuit with a passenger.</p>

No Fraternization With Guests

Where there are often hookups between crew members, they are strictly forbidden to fraternize with passengers while on board. This rule is mainly in place to protect the crew from being accused of anything inappropriate but it is also to protect the cruise company from being sued by a passenger.

The cruise company will have a much easier time cleaning up in-house than it would feilding a public lawsuit with a passenger.

<p>You have surely heard of the brig before but did you know there is one on a cruise ship and you don't have to be military to be thrown in it. It's a sort of jail cell on a ship, and it's reserved for passengers that break the law' get a bit too rowdy or in any way threaten the safety of other passengers or crew.</p><p>There is no judge or jury on a ship so if you're thrown in the brig, you'll most likely spend the rest of your vacation there or until the ship makes port and can offload you to the authorities. Sometimes this leaves you in a different country than the one you sailed from.</p>

You're Under Arrest

You have surely heard of the brig before but did you know there is one on a cruise ship and you don't have to be military to be thrown in it. It's a sort of jail cell on a ship, and it's reserved for passengers that break the law' get a bit too rowdy or in any way threaten the safety of other passengers or crew.

There is no judge or jury on a ship so if you're thrown in the brig, you'll most likely spend the rest of your vacation there or until the ship makes port and can offload you to the authorities. Sometimes this leaves you in a different country than the one you sailed from.

<p>It's never good when someone goes overboard but on a cruise ship it can be especially complicated to initiate a rescue. If a passenger goes overboard during a cruise, you may see crew members throwing stuff over the side in order to mark where they are in the water.</p><p>There aren't any landmarks in the ocean, meaning your brain doesn't have anything to refer to when trying to locate an overboard passenger from the top of a very high cruise ship.</p>

Rescuing Passengers Who Went Overboard Is Complicated

It's never good when someone goes overboard but on a cruise ship it can be especially complicated to initiate a rescue. If a passenger goes overboard during a cruise, you may see crew members throwing stuff over the side in order to mark where they are in the water.

There aren't any landmarks in the ocean, meaning your brain doesn't have anything to refer to when trying to locate an overboard passenger from the top of a very high cruise ship.

<p>If you have ever noticed your crew is especially happy or chatty it may be because they have had a couple of drinks themselves. Crew members get great discounts on alcohol and although most cruise lines say they randomly test their employees to ensure that they're not drinking while on the job, they still manage to sneak a few drinks here and there.</p><p>According to former crew members, it happens more than from time to time. Some former crew members have also come out and said that drinking among crew members is much more common than some cruise companies would have their passengers believe.</p>

Crew Members Are Drinking All Day on Cruises

If you have ever noticed your crew is especially happy or chatty it may be because they have had a couple of drinks themselves. Crew members get great discounts on alcohol and although most cruise lines say they randomly test their employees to ensure that they're not drinking while on the job, they still manage to sneak a few drinks here and there.

According to former crew members, it happens more than from time to time. Some former crew members have also come out and said that drinking among crew members is much more common than some cruise companies would have their passengers believe.

<p>We all heard about outbreaks onboard cruise ships curing the 2020 pandemic. They got big news coverage as essentially floating petri dishes. Due to thousands of people situated together in a tight space the outbreaks seem to spread faster.</p><p>Even before the pandemic there were plenty of outbreaks. For example in 2014, around eight cruise ships and many of their passengers were hit with the norovirus. As a result there have been strict procedures and rules to limit the spread of sickness during an outbreak but the risk is always going to be there.</p>

Disease Outbreaks Are More Common Than You Think

We all heard about outbreaks onboard cruise ships curing the 2020 pandemic. They got big news coverage as essentially floating petri dishes. Due to thousands of people situated together in a tight space the outbreaks seem to spread faster.

Even before the pandemic there were plenty of outbreaks. For example in 2014, around eight cruise ships and many of their passengers were hit with the norovirus. As a result there have been strict procedures and rules to limit the spread of sickness during an outbreak but the risk is always going to be there.

<p>There are a lot of reasons that cruise lines don't tend to hire American workers and one of the reasons is that Americans wouldn't put up with the long hours required on a cruise ship. The typical work week in America is around 40 hours, compared to the sometimes 100-hour long work week on a cruise ship.</p><p>Together with different and less generous overtime rules as well as lower pay, it's not hard to see why there aren't as many Americans in the cruise industry.</p>

Crew Members Are Mostly From Outside of the USA

There are a lot of reasons that cruise lines don't tend to hire American workers and one of the reasons is that Americans wouldn't put up with the long hours required on a cruise ship. The typical work week in America is around 40 hours, compared to the sometimes 100-hour long work week on a cruise ship.

Together with different and less generous overtime rules as well as lower pay, it's not hard to see why there aren't as many Americans in the cruise industry.

<p>Cruise ships aren't really required to operate to the same standards as other companies located on land in the U.S. and because of that the medical care available to passengers can sometimes be hit or miss.</p><p>It's common for cruise ships to hire doctors from countries with lower medical standards than in the U.S. and also have the facilities on board a cruise ship to be not quite as great as you'd find on land. Together with the fact that doctors on cruise ships basically can't be sued for malpractice, it leaves something lacking in the care like on a lot of cruise ships.</p>

Medical Care Can Be Spotty

Cruise ships aren't really required to operate to the same standards as other companies located on land in the U.S. and because of that the medical care available to passengers can sometimes be hit or miss.

It's common for cruise ships to hire doctors from countries with lower medical standards than in the U.S. and also have the facilities on board a cruise ship to be not quite as great as you'd find on land. Together with the fact that doctors on cruise ships basically can't be sued for malpractice, it leaves something lacking in the care like on a lot of cruise ships.

<p>Where does all the human waste go when you're on a ship and out at the ocean? It goes exactly where you might expect it to go, in the ocean. Cruise ships simply dump waste when they are around 12 miles from shore. They are required to treat it first but it still isn't great for the environment and it's quite gross.</p><p>Not all countries have the same laws either and this means that sometimes cruise ships will discharge waste when they're closer to shore in a country with more lax laws like recently when Canadians complained about U.S. cruise ships dumping near British Columbia.</p>

Where Does All The Waste Go?

Where does all the human waste go when you're on a ship and out at the ocean? It goes exactly where you might expect it to go, in the ocean. Cruise ships simply dump waste when they are around 12 miles from shore. They are required to treat it first but it still isn't great for the environment and it's quite gross.

Not all countries have the same laws either and this means that sometimes cruise ships will discharge waste when they're closer to shore in a country with more lax laws like recently when Canadians complained about U.S. cruise ships dumping near British Columbia.

<p>It goes without saying that rooms for crew members are much different than the rooms for guests on cruise ships. Crew quarters are very cramped in comparison and for the most part rooms are shared by multiple crew members.</p><p>That being said, crew members do have their own break areas and even have crew-only events, classes, and a pool for staff only. On the downside they don't really get to enjoy all of that stuff very often because they work such long hours.</p>

Tight Quarters for the Crew

It goes without saying that rooms for crew members are much different than the rooms for guests on cruise ships. Crew quarters are very cramped in comparison and for the most part rooms are shared by multiple crew members.

That being said, crew members do have their own break areas and even have crew-only events, classes, and a pool for staff only. On the downside they don't really get to enjoy all of that stuff very often because they work such long hours.

<p>You would think there would be some kind of system making sure every guest is accounted for when they cruise pulls away from port but there isn't. The cruise is not going to wait at port for a couple of passengers who failed to get back in time. If you're late getting back to the ship there is a good chance you will be watching from shore as your ship sails away.</p><p>That's why it's important that you always remember to get back to the ship well before it's scheduled departure. It's also a good idea to carry your documents and passport with you just in case you're left behind in a foreign country.</p>

Cruise Ships Wait For No One

You would think there would be some kind of system making sure every guest is accounted for when they cruise pulls away from port but there isn't. The cruise is not going to wait at port for a couple of passengers who failed to get back in time. If you're late getting back to the ship there is a good chance you will be watching from shore as your ship sails away.

That's why it's important that you always remember to get back to the ship well before it's scheduled departure. It's also a good idea to carry your documents and passport with you just in case you're left behind in a foreign country.

<p>To keep things running smoothly while feeding thousands of guests, it's no surprise that most cruise ship kitchens run their operations with military-like precision. With that many mouths to feed they have to ensure that they have enough food on board for everyone and stay within a budget working hard to eliminate waste.</p><p>Some kitchens are so precise that they can predict consumption down to a margin of two meals for a week. Sometimes crews even change up how much they order based on the nationality of their guests. For example, a ship with many Americans might order more ketchup than one with a majority of other nationalities.</p>

Preparing the Kitchen Is Done With Military Precision

To keep things running smoothly while feeding thousands of guests, it's no surprise that most cruise ship kitchens run their operations with military-like precision. With that many mouths to feed they have to ensure that they have enough food on board for everyone and stay within a budget working hard to eliminate waste.

Some kitchens are so precise that they can predict consumption down to a margin of two meals for a week. Sometimes crews even change up how much they order based on the nationality of their guests. For example, a ship with many Americans might order more ketchup than one with a majority of other nationalities.

<p>Alcohol is always the most expensive part of any trip for good reason. There are really good margins for alcohol sales so it makes sense that there would be strict rules regarding their biggest money maker. Cruise lines force you to use the bars on the ship and for this reason, people have figured out how to smuggle their own booze onto cruises.</p><p>For these reasons guests get really inventive with the way they smuggle on alcohol. One way of sneaking alcohol on board a cruise ship involves filling a plastic bladder with booze in an effort to evade x-ray detection. People have also resorted to filling mouthwash bottles with alcohol and adding food coloring to dye them a specific color.</p>

Hiding Drinks Isn't Easy

Alcohol is always the most expensive part of any trip for good reason. There are really good margins for alcohol sales so it makes sense that there would be strict rules regarding their biggest money maker. Cruise lines force you to use the bars on the ship and for this reason, people have figured out how to smuggle their own booze onto cruises.

For these reasons guests get really inventive with the way they smuggle on alcohol. One way of sneaking alcohol on board a cruise ship involves filling a plastic bladder with booze in an effort to evade x-ray detection. People have also resorted to filling mouthwash bottles with alcohol and adding food coloring to dye them a specific color.

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19 Shocking Cruise Ship Secrets And Tips I Learned After Going On Seven Cruises

Booking a cruise is just like buying a car, meaning you can negotiate the price and get bonus perks, so ~never~ pay the price you see online.

BuzzFeed Staff

Hey! I'm Spencer , and I just got back from my seventh cruise. I've seen and learned a lot of really cool behind-the-scenes secrets while traveling the world on these ships, so I wanted to share some of the most interesting ones with you here, including some tips that may be helpful for your own future adventures. Enjoy!

Man giving a peace sign on a boat with a cruise ship in the background

For context, I've traveled on four different cruise lines: Royal Caribbean, Princess, Holland America, and now Carnival. My most recent trip was a seven-day sail aboard Carnival Firenze, which traveled throughout Mexico. This was my first time on Carnival, and I somehow managed to get a private tour to areas of the ship that even the most elite VIP passengers will never, ever see. Here are some things I learned along the way.

1. First of all, yes, most cruise ships have both a jail and a morgue on board. These were the only areas of the ship where I wasn't allowed to visit (trust me, I asked multiple times) because they're strictly off limits unless you find them the old-fashioned way...by getting arrested or dying. I didn't want to take those chances, but I did find out that shorter cruises tend to see a LOT more action in the jails (aka "the brig"). Guests typically treat shorter sailings as more of a party by taking advantage of unlimited drink packages, and more alcohol = more fights on board, so needing a jail totally makes sense.

Ship's brig with a closed barred gate, a sign of onboard security measures

In terms of the morgues, those are usually located on one of the ship's lowest decks. Think of these as giant refrigerators that, depending on the ship's size, can house anywhere from a couple to nearly a dozen bodies. The majority of these deaths are obviously of natural causes – for reference, as of 2018, fewer than 25% of global passengers were under the age of 30 – but the average age of a cruise ship passenger is getting younger and younger every year now.

2. The higher you are on a ship, the more movement you'll feel, so if you're someone who tends to get motion sickness then you should definitely book your room on the lowest floor possible (just not in the morgue). I've personally never had an issue with motion sickness on a cruise, but I'll occasionally see passengers with at-sea patches behind their ears for help. Contrary to what you might think, though, you'll probably get the best night's sleep of your life on a cruise. Yes, there's a ~very~ slight rocking, but it'll feel sort of like you're a baby again who's being lulled to sleep in a cradle. Just trust me on this one.

Cruise ship cabin with two twin beds together, balcony, desk, couch, bathroom, closets, and a dresser

This is a photo of what my cabin looked like. I also included a picture of my bathroom, which was a little bigger than I thought it'd be. The shower itself was a pretty decent size and left me with room to spare (if you want a point of reference, I'm 5'11" [a real 5'11", not a Tinder 5'11"]).

I was in a balcony room on Deck 6, and, again, I had no issues with motion sickness. I've also sailed on higher deck levels before (up to Deck 9) and didn't have any issues then either. In terms of where on each deck you should book your cabin (i.e. midship, aft, or forward), that doesn’t actually matter because you won’t really feel the motion differently in other spots on the same deck.

3. But I promise that you probably won't even have to worry about getting seasick. I got a private tour of the ship's control room, and I learned that they do a lottttt to combat any movement from the waves. For example, ships try to hit waves at a 45-degree angle because that's apparently the most effective way to help break them up and cut down on the extra motion. Ships also have stabilizers that can extend outwardly (picture, like, wings on an airplane), which help to keep things super, super stable.

engineers working in the ship's control room while surrounded by several computer screens

Think of these stabilizers like fins on a fish, so they help each ship glide along the water. I spoke with the captain and some of the engineers in the control room, and they explained that the stabilizers require extra fuel and also decrease the speed of the ship, so they tend to not use them unless the water is pretty rocky.

4. Before you book a cruise, you should know that they're sort of like buying a car: you can negotiate! Basically, the price you see online should almost never be the price you pay (though they often offer great discounts that you should absolutely check out!). Instead, it's best to call and book your trip with an actual person (i.e. someone who works for the cruise line, a travel agent, etc.). For example, travel agents are usually free, and they can get you a ton of bonus perks and huge discounts on rooms for a fraction of the original price.

Person sitting on a bed by a balcony, text overlay discussing negotiating prices and room upgrades

A lot of cruise lines occasionally offer "buy one, get one" discounts, as well as a ton of other sales around specific holidays. There are also a bunch of sites where you can book discounted sailings to fill the leftover rooms that haven't sold, so just do a little research. Also, places like BJ's and Sam's Club offer trip discounts if you have a membership card to their stores, so take advantage! I booked a previous cruise through one of them a few years back and got a massive discount for my room, onboard credit, and free gratuities. It pays to save!

5. And if you ever want a "free" cruise then you should definitely hit up the casinos on board. It's super common to get extra perks on future sailings (like free Wi-Fi, drink packages, or even entire trips altogether) if you're someone who gambles a lot. Basically, each bet is tied to your personal cruise card (i.e. your room key) every time you play the slots or put money down at a table game. Your total winnings are tracked on that card, and you'll earn points based on the amount you spend. The more you gamble, the more likely you are to get offered those extra perks.

Man in a suit placing chips on a roulette table at a casino, dealer and others present

I'm always mesmerized by cruise casinos because they literally created their own mini Las Vegas on board. Like, there are pit bosses and thousands of tiny security cameras and everything else that a real casino would have. The only downside is that these casinos are obviously much smaller than what you'd find in Vegas, so they probably won't have every table game you're looking for. Yes, they have roulette (my favorite) and craps and half a dozen variations of poker, but I still haven't found a pai gow table on board. Maybe next time!

6. The cool thing about cruises – especially for people who are ages 18 through 20 – is that they can sort of make their own laws while at sea. This is known as Maritime Law. For example, gambling at the casino is only allowed once the ship is at least 12 miles from land, but that also means they can lower the age limit from 21 to 18 while in international waters. The legal drinking age on most cruise ships is also 18, not 21.

me, holding all of my gambling winnings from one night in the casino

There were actually two separate casinos on my recent Carnival ship. The larger area allowed smoking and had hundreds of slot machines, a ton of table games, and "adult" claw machines that replaced stuffed animals for huge wads of cash. The other casino, though, was the designated non-smoking area, and even though it was much smaller it still got the job done.

I'm still surprised that people are allowed to smoke in the main casino (there was also a cigar room on board but on a different deck), but, hey, I guess that's Vegas, baby.

7. There are themed cruises for pretty much anything you could ever imagine – for example, Royal Caribbean offers an immersive Star Trek cruise , and Norwegian is even offering a 2,300-person nude cruise next year – but on "regular" cruises there are certain SFW guidelines that guests (and staff!) need to adhere to. For instance, it's forbidden for staff to hook up with guests on board. Doing so would result in a pretty quick termination of their employment contract. Also, there are thousandsssss of security cameras on board, so, like, good luck trying to get away with it.

Person standing in a sauna facing window with mountain view, text overlay about gym/spa being empty

Years ago I befriended one of the gym trainers on a cruise, and he revealed that he actually managed to hook up with a guest on board. Because there are so many security cameras, it would have been impossible for either of them to visit the other person's cabin without getting caught, so he told me they hooked up in a random towel closet. I guess this is why a lot of cruise ship employees end up dating each other instead of the guests, because it's way less risky and a lot more convenient.

8. Speaking of hooking up on board, there was so much "swinging" happening between couples that a lot of cruise lines had to create training programs for the staff. Basically, decorating cabin doors is a pretty common thing for elite cruisers (as pictured below), and the secret symbol for swingers is an upside-down pineapple. As a result, a lot of couples would decorate their doors with upside-down pineapples to let other guests know that they're open for fun. According to the high-up staff member I talked to, employees on their previous ship were instructed to report any pineapple decorations found on board.

Bulletin board with numerous sticky notes, a net with words "joy", and assorted hanging decorations

That staff member also told me that this whole issue started because some couples would leave their cabin doors ajar as an invitation for other swingers. However, the housekeeping staff (who are truly, truly incredible!) unknowingly entered while the couples were ~doing the deed~. Employees on cruises typically come from all over the world (on my Carnival ship, they had staff from over 100 different nations), which means they also have certain religious backgrounds. Spotting and removing these pineapple decorations was done in an effort to protect the staff and their religious beliefs.

9. You have to remember that these ships are basically floating cities, so they have everything you could ever want. Like, I've been on ships with a freaking ice skating rink before, and my recent Carnival sailing had an 18-hole mini golf course on the top deck. Also, itineraries are left outside each guest's stateroom every morning, and they list alllll the activities you can do (or not do!) that day. Want to try your luck at bingo? Have at it. Always wanted to go to an art auction? They've got those too. Want to prove your sports, movie, history, Harry Potter , Friends , or just general knowledge at dozens of trivia events? Be their guest! I promise that you'll never be bored on a cruise.

Person playing mini-golf on a cruise ship deck

Cruises even have LGBTQ+ mixers, silent disco parties, wine tastings, and cooking classes. There are also discreet meetings for those who are sober or in recovery. For example, Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are labeled as "Friends of Bill" events on each ship's itinerary (this is a nod to Bill Wilson, who co-founded AA).

10. Keep in mind that items on cruise ships are definitely more expensive than what you'd normally pay on land. The spa and salon on my last sailing, for example, charged $175 for a 75-minute Swedish massage and $99 for a "red carpet blowout." If that's somehow in your budget then have at it, but if you want heavily discounted prices then you should book those treatments on days when the ship is at port – this is when most passengers will be off the vessel, so a lot of cruise lines offer discounted treatments to help fill up those time slots and prevent people from hitting up the spas on land. Again, though, you can typically negotiate for certain spa perks when booking!

Person relaxing with eyes open under red light, text overlay shares their relaxing experience at a spa

Every cruise I've been on has had a full-fledged shopping mall on board. There are dozens of stores that sell everything from designer goods to any type of candy or snack you could want. Again, these prices are pretty steep, so if you forget to bring sunscreen then it's probably best to just wait until you get to the next port. Even so, there are definitely ways to save money while cruising!

11. The more you cruise with a specific line, the more perks you'll get (like free room upgrades, priority access, unlimited internet, and on-board casino credit). These loyalty programs are based on the number of days you sail with each line, so, for example, everyone on their first Carnival cruise is in the Blue tier, then they reach Red status on their second sailing, and once they hit 25 days on board they'll reach the Gold tier. Platinum is achieved after 75 total days of sailing, and Diamond status is for people who've sailed for at least 200 days. I met so many Diamond members that my jaw kind of dropped – like, these people LOVE cruises and go on several a year. It isn't just a vacation for them; it's a full-on hobby.

Cruise ship deck with seating area under an umbrella, next to text about exclusive amenities

While doing some research, I also found out that Royal Caribbean even has a "Pinnacle Club" for people who've sailed for over 700 days on their ships, which, holy crap??? So if you're prepared to spend the equivalent of two years on a ship (which kind of sounds like a dream to me, to be honest), then get ready for the ultimate form of perks and luxury.

12. Another way to save money is by booking your shore excursions through third-party vendors. Booking through the ship is definitely the most expensive route, but it's also the safest because you'll never have to worry about the ship leaving without you. Ships have strict docking schedules to follow on port days, so they ~will~ leave without you if you aren't back in time. Otherwise, you're in charge of making it to the next port of call on your own, so good luck. If you have a short port day and are only docked for a few hours then I'd suggest booking through the ship so you don't risk getting left behind.

Me, standing on a yacht with the blue water and cruise ship behind me

Cruise lines display all excursion reviews from past passengers on their site, so this can be such a helpful resource to prevent you from booking something that sounds good on paper but is underwhelming in reality (been there, done that). I typically book excursions through vendors who are waiting outside as soon as everyone gets off the ship, but I do a lot of research ahead of time and will often find things to do that aren't even offered by the cruise.

You obviously don't have to go on any excursions at all either. There have been plenty of times when I've simply explored on my own by walking around, grabbing a bite from a local spot, or relaxing at the beach. You also don't even have to leave the ship if you don't want to. In fact, port days are incredible for peak relaxation on board because it's way more quiet, and you'll never struggle to find an open lounger by the pool. Free is my favorite number, so remember that there will always be plenty to do no matter your budget.

13. You should know that there are some banned items you simply can't bring on a cruise. Before boarding, you'll quickly go through security, sort of like a relaxed version of TSA at the airport. The whole process typically only takes a few minutes. Depending on the cruise line, you're usually allowed to bring up to 12 cans of non-alcoholic beverages (my friend brought a six-pack of ginger ale in case she felt seasick, and those made it through just fine. I also saw a bunch of Diet Coke-obsessed people with whole cases, and those made it through too). Candles, hot plates, and the obvious knives, guns, fireworks, etc. are all banned as well.

Two hands holding cans of Schweppes Ginger Ale with text about a friend bringing them through airport security

Bottled water isn't typically allowed through security when checking in, but you can absolutely buy it on board. More importantly, though, there will be plenty of free fill-up stations for your water bottle throughout the ship, so that's an easy fix. I can't stress enough how necessary having a water bottle is, so make sure you bring one (both for your regular onboard living but also for when you leave the ship on port days).

14. Also, don't even try to sneak alcohol on board because you'll definitely get caught. Each ship is different, but for the most part you're only allowed one unopened bottle of wine or champagne in your carry-on. If you buy spirits while at port then you'll have to check them when you get back on the ship, and they'll be returned when you disembark. After all, most cruises only become profitable after adding up their total alcohol sales and casino winnings (I guess it helps that Carnival's 27 ships, for example, sell over 14,000 margaritas each day). For reference, a standard cocktail on my last trip was about $13, and the unlimited drink packages were about $60 a day.

Four variously garnished cocktails on a table, with people in the background

Depending on the cruise line, these unlimited drink packages can range from $55 to over $100 each day. These include specialty coffees, soda, beer, wine, cocktails, and the works. Remember, some people treat cruises like parties (my last sailing had FIVE different types of espresso martinis at the bars, so, like, I sort of don't blame them), and they certainly try to get the most bang for their buck. I've done the math, and you need to have at least five specialty drinks per day to make the unlimited package "worth it."

Non-alcoholic drink packages also exist, like a $9.50-a-day pass that'll get you unlimited sodas. But there are free drinks on board, whether you're at the buffet or sit-down dining, like tap water, brewed coffee, hot teas, hot chocolate, lemonade, iced tea, fruit juices (fresh-pressed ones will cost extra), and milk.

15. Cruise ships obviously make tons (and I mean that literally, not figuratively) of food every single sailing. After all, the average ship holds about 3,000 guests and 1,000 crew members. An employee who I spoke with said Carnival serves about 30,000 burgers every single day, and they'll make over 1.3 million pounds of French fries each year. There are free sit-down restaurants and buffets on board, but there are also specialty dining options that guests can pay for, like hibachi and steak houses. My family always sticks with the free dining options, and I think non-cruisers will be shocked by how good the food actually is, but the best part is that you can order several appetizers, entrées, and desserts per person, so, like, you'll never leave hungry.

Close-up of assorted Japanese appetizers with a text overlay expressing fondness for the yakitori bites

All of that food used to mean there's a lot of food waste, but that's not really the case anymore. In fact, a lot of ships are working on how to become more and more sustainable and environmentally friendly. For example, rather than dumping food waste in the water, I saw on my private tour that Carnival has a "food digester" room. Basically, it's a massive machine filled with bacteria that'll break down all the food scraps, just like how your own body breaks down food. Yes, it smelled just as bad as you probably think it would.

Similarly, some ships are even using artificial intelligence to make their sailings more environmentally friendly. While in the control room, one of the engineers told me about how their ship is using new AI that basically studies each sailing so it can recommend new ways to make future voyages as efficient as possible, like by creating energy-saving routes and so on.

16. If you're worried about potentially having bad weather on your cruise then, well, think again. Yes, there's obviously a lot to do inside, but a lot of ships also have retractable roofs on their top decks. So, if it's ever too cold, rainy, or windy then they can usually cover the entire lido deck (i.e. where most of the pools, jacuzzis, and lounge chairs are), which means you can relax "outside" even in the terrible weather. A lot of ships also offer indoor pools and adults-only sections, so, like, you'll totally be set no matter what.

Cruise ship deck with rows of lounge chairs and a pool, text overlay states missing retractable roof

My recent cruise had a regular pool and jacuzzi setup on the lido deck, but there was also another section at the back of the ship with one more pool and two more jacuzzis. There was even a "Serenity" section at the top deck, which served as an "adults-only retreat," meaning passengers younger than 18 weren't allowed. That area unfortunately filled up super fast on sailing days, so if you ever go on a ship with one I'd definitely recommend getting there early.

A lot of ships also offer private areas and decks that are exclusive to only those who book certain rooms. This secluded area was much quieter, super luxurious, and actually felt like I was on a totally different ship. If you're booking a cruise and see that there's an exclusive area, you should absolutely ask about how to get access ahead of time.

17. It's tradition for every ship to have a celebrity godmother or godfather who christens the boat before the inaugural launch, and those celebs are typically rewarded with free cruises for life (!) on that specific vessel. For example, Oprah Winfrey is the godmother of a Holland America ship, and even Audrey Hepburn was the godmother of a Princess ship. Carnival only has two godfathers, and they're fittingly both for their Italian-themed cruises: Jay Leno and now Jonathan Bennett. Christening the ship used to entail smashing a bottle of champagne against its hull, but the night before my cruise I got to watch Jonathan Bennett pour a bottle of champagne over the ship's bell to toast its safe travels instead.

Jonathan Bennett and a captain christen a ship with champagne at a ceremony

Judi Dench is also the godmother of a ship, and it famously took her three different attempts to break the bottle of champagne against its hull, which then sprayed all over her. That was in 2002, so I think switching to this new christening method with the ship's bell is definitely less messy.

18. One of the most unique parts about cruising is that you'll typically find a cool towel animal waiting for you after returning to your cabin every night. The housekeeping staff are all trained in towel folding, so after dinner you'll have a new animal sitting on your bed or, in my case, hanging from the ceiling. A lot of ships even host towel-folding classes during sailings so guests can learn how to make the animals themselves, and how-to books are also available in the bookstore. I found out that Carnival's housekeeping team makes about 15 million towel animals every single year, which, holy crap.

Man smiling with a towel folded like an elephant on his head, in a suit, indoors with curtains behind

One morning while on my way to the gym, I walked through the lido deck and saw hundreds of towel animals sitting on every single lounge chair outside. There were monkeys and elephants and dogs, but the most impressive towel animal that I saw was an octopus. I still have no idea how they managed to pull this off, and I'm genuinely so impressed.

19. And finally, the most important thing you should know about cruises is that there are several self-serve ice cream machines on board, and they're all completely free (and unlike McDonald's, these machines are always working!). If you're like me and deserve a sweet treat after dinner – or, let's face it, after or even before breakfast – then you understand how big this is. After all, you're on vacation, so you should be eating as much ice cream and frozen yogurt as you can get your hands on.

Person holding a swirl soft-serve ice cream cone

I worked at Dairy Queen for a few summers as a teen and genuinely loved it there, so having the ability to serve myself a cone whenever I wanted made me feel at home. And if you're more of a gelato person then I totally understand! Luckily for you, cruises have got you covered. My ship had a freaking gelato spot on board, and they expect to serve about 750,000 scoops this year, but I have a feeling half of them were because of me.

That's it! If you have any other cruise travel tips that have worked for you, please feel free to share them in the comments. Thanks!

Note: BuzzFeed was granted this cruise aboard Carnival Firenze for free, though we were under no obligation to provide a positive review.

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65 Pirate Jokes That Arrrr Going to Be a Hit With Kids and Adults

Say “ahoy” to the best pirate jokes and short one-liners that'll have everyone laughing their booty off.

Every item on this page was chosen by a Woman's Day editor. We may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy.

Living comfortably within the realm of dad jokes , pirate jokes are perfect for sharing with your kids at the family dinner table. They can also make an appearance at pirate-themed birthday parties — put them on party favor bags, chalkboards, banners, and more. And they’re not just limited to birthday parties. Pirate jokes can also show up at summer pool parties (even doggie ones !) and ocean-themed soireés.

Pirate jokes can also swashbuckle their way into pirate movie night when you and your family watch any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, The Princess Bride , Hook , and The Goonies .

And since these pirate jokes are geared toward kid humor (though adults will still find them to be hidden treasures), your littles can even take them to school to make their class-mateys giggle! They might even make for a great “stand-up comedy” show-and-tell too.

Although you could take to the high seas to track down the best pirate jokes around, we’ve done some treasure hunting to discover ones that are sure to make your whole crew laugh. Arrr you ready?

The Funniest Pirate Jokes for Kids and Adults

preview for 20 Dad Jokes That’ll Have the Whole Family Laughing

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrr!
Why couldn't the pirate play cards? He was sitting on the deck.
Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday? “Aye matey years old!”.
Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet? Because they get stuck at “C.”
What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish? A GOLDfish.
What happens if you take the “p” out of a pirate? He becomes irate!
Which pirate makes the best clam chowder? Captain Cook.
What do you call a pirate with three eyes? Piiirate!
What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the snow bank? Shiver me timbers.
Which instrument do pirates love in music class? The guitaaarrrrrrr.
Which costume does a pirate wear for Halloween? He wears a Pumpkin Patch!

Where did Captain Hook get his hook? At a second hand store.
Why wouldn't the pirate fight the octopus? It was too well-armed.
What is a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie? Ship’s Ahoy!
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? About a buck an ear.
What's a pirate's favorite vegetable? Arrrrrrtichoke.
When is the best time for a pirate to buy a ship? When it is on the sail!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? The letter RRRRRRR!
Where did the one-legged pirate go for breakfast? IHOP.
What’s a pirate’s worst enemy? Termites.
What did the ocean say to the captain of the pirate ship? Nothing! The ocean just waved.
What’s the best name for a pirate dog? Patches!
What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school? Captain Hooky.

how did the pirate find out he needed glasses

How did the pirate find out he needed glasses? He took an aye exam!
What do you call a pirate with two legs and two eyes? A newbie.
What does one pirate say to his friend? He says, “I sea you!”
How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg.
Where do pirates park their pirate ships? In the harrrrrrbor.
What does Santa say while visiting pirates? He says, “Row row row.”
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
Why did the pirate go for a vacation? He needed a little arrr and arrr.
Why do people find it very hard to call a pirate? Because he always leaves his phone off the hook.
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise? The plank!
What was the name of the pirate’s girlfriend? Peggy!
What’s a pirate’s favorite country? AAARRRGHentina.

what grades did the pirate get in school

What grades did the pirates get in school? High C’s.
Which two football teams were at the finals of the pirate Superbowl? The Buccaneers and the Seahawks.
What is a pirate’s favorite color? Gold.
What did the pirate say during the winter storm? “Thar she snows!”
What is a pirate’s hairstyle called? A crew cut.
What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie? Leeks!
What game do parrots in pirate ships love playing the most? Hide and speak!
Why does the pirate carry his sword? Because swords can’t walk.
Which famous pirate was always sad? Captain Blue-Beard.
What did the pirate get when he crossed a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Why can’t the pirates fire their weapons on Saturdays? Because they only cannon Sundays!
How do pirates call each other? On their aye phones.

What does a pirate eat for breakfast? Captain Crunch.
What do pirates wear when it is cold? Long Johns.
Why did the pirate pull out of the stock market? Because he was in shark-invested waters!
What do you call a pirate that puts a belt on a pumpkin? A squashbuckler.
What do you get if you cross a pirate and a tropical fruit? Bandana!
Why do pirates really like pizza? Because it usually comes in pieces o' eight.
If a farmer has a cabbage patch, what does a pirate have? An eye patch!
Where are American pirates from? Arrrkansas!
Do pirates like to fight? Sword of.
Why does the Captain sail a ship? Because he let his car-go!
Why were the kids so restless in pirating class? Because they were overbored!
What did the pirate say when he quit his job? Sorry Captain, me heartys just not in it anymore!
Who did the ghost pirate hire to repair his boat? A skeleton crew!

Shelby Deering is a lifestyle writer who specializes in decor, home tours, wellness, travel, vintage, and feel-good stories for national publications. She’s from Madison, Wisconsin, and when she’s not writing, you’ll find her running local trails, shopping flea markets, or going for walks with her husband and corgi.

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With Arms Wide Open

How did creed, the most hated band of the 1990s, become so beloved—and even cool i sailed the seas with thousands of fellow lunatics to find out..

It’s high noon on a blazing April day, which is the ideal time to be sitting in an Irish pub aboard a cruise ship the size of a small asteroid. The bar is called O’Sheehan’s—yes, pronounced “oceans”—and it’s located deep within the belly of the boat, just above the teppanyaki joint, the sake bar, and the lustrous duty-free shops. This consciousness-altering diorama of infinite seas and cloying Guinness-themed paraphernalia is where I meet Colleen Sullivan, a 46-year-old woman with a beehive of curly red hair and arms encased by plastic wristbands. She wants to tell me how Creed changed her life.

A few moments earlier, Sullivan dropped one of those wristbands on my table—an invitation to talk. It’s lime-green and emblazoned with pink lettering that reads “Rock the Boat With Creed.” I slip it past my hand and sidle up to her booth. Sullivan uses one nuclear-yellow-painted fingernail to hook back the wristbands on her right arm. Underneath is the pinched autograph of Scott Stapp, the band’s mercurial lead singer, enshrined in tattoo ink. This, it seems, is not her first rodeo.

We are both here for “Summer of ’99,” a weekendlong cruise and concert festival for which Creed—as in the Christian-lite rock band that sold more than 28 million albums in the U.S. alone and yet may be the most widely disdained group in modern times—is reuniting for the first time in 12 years. Roughly 2,400 other Creed fans are along for the round-trip ride from Miami to the Bahamas, and the rest of the bill is occupied by the dregs of turn-of-the-millennium alt-rock stardom. Buckcherry is here. So are Vertical Horizon, Fuel, and 3 Doors Down, the latter of whom hasn’t released an album since 2016.

To celebrate, Sixthman, the booking agency responsible for this and many other cruises, has thoroughly Creed-ified every element of the ship. The band’s logo is printed on the napkins and scripted across the blackjack felt. The TV screens at the bar are tuned to a near-constant loop of Creed’s performance at Woodstock ’99. The onboard library has been converted to a merch store selling Creed hoodies and shot glasses. The stock music piped into the corridors has been swapped out for Hinder’s “Lips of an Angel,” Lit’s “My Own Worst Enemy,” and 3 Doors Down’s “Kryptonite.” When I turn on the closed-circuit television in my cabin, a channel called New Movies plays Scream 3 and Can’t Hardly Wait . And four elevator doors in the boat’s central plaza are plastered with the words “Can You Take Me Higher or Lower?” Sixthman pulled similar stunts with 311’s “ Caribbean Cruise ,” Train’s “ Sail Across the Sun ” cruise, and Kid Rock’s notoriously debauched “ Chillin’ the Most ” cruise—the Kid Rock cruise also took place on the vessel I’m on, the Norwegian Pearl . The idea is to teleport a captive audience back into the dirtbags they once embodied and to a simpler time, when Scott Stapp controlled the universe.

Sullivan tells me that her relationship with Creed overlaps with her sobriety story. She first became a fan of the band in the late 1990s, when “Higher” and “With Arms Wide Open” were soaring up the Billboard charts. Then, Sullivan started using, and her appreciation for the divine proportions of those songs faded in service of more corporeal needs. Years later, after Creed broke up and Sullivan got clean, she returned to the music and discovered a dogma of her own: Maybe she had been put on earth to love Stapp—and Creed—harder, and with more urgency, than anyone else in the world.

“He helped me grow with those old Creed songs,” she tells me. “When I saw Scott for the first time live, he had just gotten clean too. I’d go to the shows and there would be tears streaming down my face.” Her left arm contains another Stapp tattoo, with the words “His Love Was Thunder in the Sky” scrawled up to her elbow, surrounded by a constellation of quarter notes. It’s a lyric taken from a 2013 Stapp solo song called “Jesus Was a Rockstar.” The singer Sharpie’d it onto her body himself.

“Summer of ’99” is Creed’s second attempt to reunite, after it disbanded in both 2004 and 2012 amid clashing egos and substance issues. The band couldn’t have picked a better time to get back together. If you haven’t noticed, we’re in the midst of an extremely unlikely Creed renaissance, redeeming the most reviled—and, perhaps more damningly, most uncool —band in the world. For much of the past 20 years, hating Creed has been a natural extension of being a music fan: In 2013 Rolling Stone readers voted the group “the worst band of the 1990s,” beating out a murderers’ row of Hootie and the Blowfish, Nickelback, and Hanson. Entertainment Weekly, reviewing Human Clay , the band’s bestselling album and one of the highest-selling albums of all time, bemoaned the record’s “lunkheaded kegger rock” and “quasi-spiritual lyrics that have all the resonance of a self-help manual.” Meanwhile, Robert Christgau, the self-appointed dean of American rock critics, wrote Creed off as “God-fearing grunge babies,” comparing the group unfavorably with Limp Bizkit.

The disrespect was reflected more sharply by Stapp’s own contemporaries. In the early 2000s, Dexter Holland, the frontman of the Offspring, played shows wearing a T-shirt that read “Even Jesus Hates Creed.” After leaked images of a sex tape filmed in 1999 featuring Stapp and Kid Rock and a room full of groupies made it onto the internet, Kid Rock retorted by saying that his fans didn’t care about the pornography but were appalled that he was hanging out with someone like Stapp. The comedian David Cross, who embodies the archetype of the exact sort of coastal hipsters who became the band’s loudest hecklers, dedicated swaths of his stand-up material to bird-dogging the singer. (One choice punchline: “That guy hangs out outside a junior high school girls locker room and writes down poetry he overhears.”) Then, in 2002, after a disastrous show in Chicago at which a belligerently drunk Stapp forgot the words to his songs and stumbled off the stage for 10 minutes, four attendees unsuccessfully sued the band for $2 million. Holland’s shirt didn’t go far enough—at the group’s lowest, even Creed fans hated Creed.

All this acrimony plunged Stapp into several episodes of psychic distress. His dependence on alcohol and painkillers was well documented during the band’s initial brush with success, but after Creed’s short-lived reconciliation, Stapp spiraled into a truly cavernous nadir. In 2014 the singer started posting unsettling videos to Facebook, asserting that he had been victimized by a cascading financial scam and was living in a Holiday Inn. That same year, TMZ released 911 calls made by Stapp’s wife Jaclyn claiming that he had printed out reams of CIA documents and was threatening to kill Barack Obama. But these days, Stapp—who announced a bipolar diagnosis in 2015—appears to be on much firmer ground, and the band has reportedly patched up some of those long-gestating interpersonal wounds.

But with time comes wisdom, and in 2024 neither the critical slander nor the troubling reports about Stapp’s mental state are anywhere to be found. It is a truth universally acknowledged that Creed is good, a shift that, as Stapp told Esquire , “just started happening” around 2021. The new paradigm likely solidified the next year, when Creed’s mythically patriotic post-9/11 halftime show, played on Thanksgiving in 2001, began to accrue latter-day meme status. The set was ridiculous and immaculately lip-synced by Stapp and company. Yoked, shirtless angels spin through the air, and cheerleaders pump out pompom routines synchronized with “My Sacrifice,” all while the live broadcast is interspersed with grim footage from ground zero. It’s garishly, unapologetically American, issued just before the unsavory decline of the Bush administration clicked into place. Today both of those relics—Creed and the unified national optimism—are worth getting wistful about. “This is where we peaked as a nation,” wrote football commentator Mike Golic Jr., linking to the video.

Creed nostalgia has only proliferated further since the resurrection of that halftime show. The band’s guitarist, Mark Tremonti, told the hard-rock site Blabbermouth that he’d recently noticed athletes bumping Creed as their “ go-to battle music ,” and in November, an entire stadium of Texas Rangers fans belted out “Higher” to commemorate their team’s World Series victory . Earlier this year, a viral remix of “ One Last Breath ” even began pulsing through some of the hottest parties in New York. The band has clearly crossed some sort of inscrutable cultural Rubicon and thrown reality into flux—up is down, black is white, and, due to a sublime confluence of biting irony and prostrating sincerity, Creed fucking rocks .

All this means that the inaugural edition of the “Summer of ’99” cruise is buoyed by very high stakes. It has been 12 long years since Creed last played a show, and the cruise is intended to be the dry run for a mammoth comeback tour that is scheduled for 60 dates, through summer and autumn, in basketball arenas and hockey stadiums across North America. The only remaining question is whether the band can keep it together. I’m there in a commemorative Creed Super Bowl halftime T-shirt to find out.

Several flights of stairs above O’Sheehan’s, the day before I meet Sullivan, I find Sean Patrick, a giddily beer-buzzed 34-year-old from Nashville who is standing in awe of a Coachella-sized stage that looks downright sinister on the pool deck. Creed is playing two shows this weekend, and the first is set for the very minute the boat leaves port and escapes Miami for the horizon. This means that everyone who purchased a ticket to “Summer of ’99”—which ranges from $895 for a windowless hovel to $6,381 for a stateroom with a balcony—has ascended to the top of the ship, preparing for Creed’s rebirth in a wash of Coors Light tallboys.

As of two days ago, Patrick was unaware he would be attending this cruise. Everything changed when a friend, who was on the waitlist, received a call from Norwegian Cruise Line informing him that a cabin with his name on it had miraculously become available. Patrick was suddenly presented with the opportunity to spend a tremendous amount of cash, on very short notice, to witness this reunion amid the die-hards.

Unlike Sullivan, Patrick doesn’t possess one of those highly intimate histories with the band, flecked with tales of trauma and perseverance. Still, he fell in love with Creed—even if it was only by accident.

“I think it started as a joke. The songs were good, but there was definitely a feeling of, like, Yeah, Creed! ” he tells me. “But then, next thing you know, you find yourself in your car, alone, deciding to put on Creed.”

The majority of the passengers on the Pearl have never been burdened with Patrick’s hesitance. Their relationship with Creed is genuine and free—cleansed of even the faintest whiff of irony—and, unlike Patrick, they tend to be in their late 40s and early 50s. The woman standing ankle-deep in the wading pool with a Stewie Griffin tattoo on her shin unambiguously loves Creed, and the same is probably true of whoever was lounging on a deck chair with a book, written by Fox News pundit Jesse Watters, titled Get It Together: Troubling Tales From the Liberal Fringe . Two brothers from Kentucky who work in steel mills, but not the same steel mill, tell me that loving Creed is practically a family tradition: Their eldest brother, not present on the boat, initially showed them the band’s records. Tina Smith, a 48-year-old home-care aide from Texas, crowned with a black tennis visor adorned with golden letters spelling out the name of her favorite band, loves Creed so much that she embarked on this trip all by herself. “This is my first cruise and my first vacation,” she says, proudly. (Smith is already planning her next vacation. It will coincide with another Creed show.)

Passengers I encounter that are a generation younger are clearly acquainted more with Creed the meme than Creed the band. These are the people who vibe with statements like “Born too late to own property, born just in time to be a crusader in the ‘Creed Isn’t Bad’ fight”—especially when they’re arranged as deep-fried blocks of text superimposed over the face of Keanu Reeves as Neo. If the establishment brokers of culture once settled on the position that Creed sucks, then it has been met with a youth-led insurgency that seems dead-set on shifting the consensus—if for no other reason than to savor the nectar of pure, uncut taboo.

Many members of this insurgency are aboard the Pearl , and they’re caked in emblems of internet miscellany that scream out to anyone in the know. Consider the young man, traveling with his father, who is draped in a T-shirt bearing the Creed logo below a beatific image of Nicolas Cage circa Con Air , or the many fans who wander around the innards of the Pearl in matching Scott Stapp–branded Dallas Cowboys jerseys, a reference to that halftime show. In fact, the best representatives of sardonic Creed-fandom colonists might be the youngest collection of friends that I’ve met on board. They are all in their 20s, most of them work in Boston’s medicine and science sectors, and each is dressed in a custom-ordered tropical button-down dotted with the angelic face of Scott Stapp in places where you’d expect to find coconuts and banana bunches. A week before “Summer of ’99” was announced, the four of them made a pact, via group text, that if Creed were ever to reunite, they would make it out to see the band play, no matter the cost. Their fate was sealed.

“I hated Creed. I thought they were terrible,” says Mike Hobey, who, at 28, is the oldest of the posse and therefore the one who possesses the clearest recollection of Creed’s long, strange journey toward absolution. “But then I started listening to them ironically. And I was like, Oh, shit, I like them now .”

His point is indicative of a strange tension in this new age of Creed: If “the worst band of the 1990s” is suddenly good, does that mean all music is good now? Is nothing tacky? Have the digitized music discovery apparatuses—the melting-pot TikTok algorithm, the self-replicating profusion of Spotify playlists—blurred the boundaries of good and bad taste? Am I, like Hobey, incapable of being a hater anymore?

This is what I found myself thinking about when Creed took the stage, right as the Miami skies began to mellow into a late-afternoon smolder, and put on what was, without a doubt, one of the best rock shows I’ve ever seen. The scalloped penthouses of Miami’s gleaming hotel district passed overhead as the Pearl ’s rudder kicked into gear, and Scott Stapp—looking jacked and gorgeous, chain on neck and chain on belt, flexing toward God in a tight black shirt—launched into “Are You Ready?,” the first song of the afternoon, his baritone sounding, somehow, exactly like it did in 1999. “Who would’ve thought, after our last show in 2012, our next show would be 12 years later, on a boat?” Stapp said. He is risen, indeed.

I later hear from Creed’s PR agent that Tremonti, the guitarist, was more anxious than he was excited to get this first show in the books. I also gather, from Stapp’s representative, that photographers are mandated to shoot the lead singer during only the first two songs of the set, before he begins to “glisten” (her word) with sweat. But if nerves were fraying, Creed conquered them with ease. The members of the band were enveloped by an audience that had paid a lot of money to see them, and in that atmosphere, they could do no wrong. They blitzed through a variety of album cuts before arriving at the brawny triptych of “Higher,” “One Last Breath,” and “With Arms Wide Open,” pausing briefly to wish Tremonti, who was turning 50, a happy birthday. (Stapp wiped away tears afterward, a genuinely touching moment, considering that during their first breakup, Tremonti had compared his years collaborating with Stapp—who was then in the throes of addiction— with surviving Vietnam .) Given Creed’s historic proximity to the Kid Rock brand of red-state overindulgence, I half expected the concert to detonate with violent pits and acrobatic beer stunts, but nothing remotely close to mayhem occurred. This crowd was downright polite—chaste, even—as if it had been stunned by the grandeur of Creed.

“He tried to dance pogo ,” says a disappointed German woman, basking in the pool after the show, gesturing toward her husband. Both of them explain to me that pogoing is the German word for “moshing” and that, even more astonishingly, Creed is huge in their native hamlet, just outside Düsseldorf.

“It’s a reunion after 12 years!” says her husband. “Everyone should be dancing pogo .”

Nothing about Creed’s music has changed in the past decade, which is to say that many of the quirks that people like Hobey once used to mock the band for were on brilliant display during its first show back. But the truth is that little of the smug hatred for the group has ever had much to do with the music itself. Creed’s first record, 1997’s My Own Prison , was nearly identical to the down-tuned angst of Soundgarden or Alice in Chains, drawn well inside the lines of alt-rock radio. (It earned a tasteful 4/5 rating from the longtime consumer guide AllMusic.)

The problems arose only after the band started writing the celestial hooks of Human Clay , solidifying its superstar association with other groups chasing the same crunchy highs with machine-learning efficiency: Nickelback, Staind, Shinedown, and so on. Post-grunge was the term music journalists eventually bestowed on this generation, and in retrospect, that was the kiss of death. Creed was suddenly positioned as the inheritor of the legacy of Kurt Cobain, the godfather of grunge, who bristled at all associations with the mainstream music industry and hired the notoriously bellicose Steve Albini to make Nirvana’s third album as sour and uncommercial as possible. Stapp, meanwhile, has long called Bono—he of the flowing locks, billionaire best friends , and residencies in extravagant Las Vegas monoliths —his “ rock god .” Creed’s sole aspiration was to become the biggest rock band in the world, and for a few years there, the group actually pulled it off. Cobain’s grave got a little colder.

Post-grunge steamrolled the rock business, reducing its sonic palette to an all-consuming minor-chord dirge. Nickelback’s “How You Remind Me” went quadruple platinum in 2001, eventually sparking a furious period of retaliation from the underground. (You could make the argument that the rise of the Strokes or the White Stripes or the indie-rock boom writ large is directly tied to the vise grip Creed once held on the genre.) Before long, music aesthetes adopted a new term, rather than post-grunge , to refer to the Creed phenotype: butt rock . In fact, by the late-2000s, the hatred of Creed had been so canonized that when Slate published a rebuttal —in which critic Jonah Weiner asserted that the band was “seriously underrated”—the essay was considered so “ridiculous” and contrarian as to single-handedly inspire the viral and enduring #slatepitches hashtag, instantly prompting parodies such as “ Star Wars I, II, & III, better than Star Wars IV, V, & VI .”

But, frankly, when I revisit Weiner’s piece, many of his arguments sound remarkably cogent to modern orthodoxies. “Creed seemed to irritate people precisely because its music was so unabashedly calibrated towards pleasure: Every surging riff, skyscraping chorus, and cathartic chord progression telegraphed the band’s intention to rock us, wow us, move us,” he writes. Yes, these easy gratifications might have been unpardonable sins in the summer of 1999, capping off a decade obsessively preoccupied with anxiety about all things commercial and phony. But now even LCD Soundsystem—once the standard-bearer of a certain kind of countercultural fashionability—is booking residencies sponsored by American Express. We have all become hedonists and proud sellouts, and with Creed back in vogue, it seems as if the band’s monumental intemperance has become a feature rather than a bug.

That does not mean Stapp no longer takes himself, or his art, seriously. The singer’s earnestness—some might say humorlessness—has always been a cornerstone of Creed’s brand, and there are millions of fans who will continue to meet him at his word. They brandish personal biographies that intersect with Creed’s records; they finds lines about places with “golden streets” “where blind men see” more inspiring than corny, and many of them are etched with the tattoos to prove it. But in the band’s contemporary afterlife, when all its old context evaporates, Stapp has also attracted a community eager to treat Creed like the party band it never aspired to be—the group of licentious pleasure seekers Weiner wrote about. They’re all here, sprinkled throughout the boat, ready to drink a couple of Coronas and shred their lungs to “My Sacrifice.”

After wrapping up the first night of the cruise, Creed, along with the rest of the bands on the bill, was scheduled to administer a few glad-handing sessions on the weekend itinerary. On Saturday, Tremonti chaperoned a low-key painting session while the Pearl floated into the Bahamas at a dock already crammed with other day-trippers. (Our boat was parked next to a Disney cruise, and when we disembarked, in direct earshot of all the young families, the PA blasted Puddle of Mudd’s “She Fucking Hates Me.”) Tremonti keeps busy: The previous evening, he had judged a karaoke tournament—on the main stage—alongside 3 Doors Down lead singer Brad Arnold. Toward the end of the competition, Tremonti grabbed the microphone for a rousing cover of Frank Sinatra’s “My Way,” which I’d like to think served as a tribute to Creed’s own tenaciousness.

Stapp, on the other hand, is slated for exactly one appointment mingling with the masses: He’ll be shooting hoops with some of the more athletically oriented Creed adherents on a helipad that doubles as a basketball court near the rear of the boat. Stapp is, by far, the most famous person on board, evidenced by the security detail that stands guard on the concrete. So I take my seat on the bleachers and watch him casually drain 10 free throws in a row in mesh shorts under the piercing Atlantic sun with the distinct tang of contractually obligated restraint. Afterward, Stapp slips back into the mysterious alcoves of the ship, while an awed buzz of fans—hoping for a selfie, an autograph, or a split second of euphoric surrender—tail him until they are sealed off for good. It is the one and only time I see him cameoing anywhere but the stage, drawing a stark contrast to the other musicians on board, who flit between the casinos, restaurants, and watering holes in the guts of the Pearl .

This makes some sort of cosmic sense. Stapp, to both his detriment and credit, has never embraced the flippancy that so many other people wanted to impose on Creed. “Sometimes I wish we weren’t so damn serious,” he said in a memorable Spin cover story from 2000, at the height of his mystique. “My agenda from the beginning was to write music that had meaning and was from the heart. You can’t force the hand of the muse.” If you’ll excuse the ostentation of the sentiment, you can maybe understand how someone like Stapp might not be able to feel like himself when he’s orchestrating photo-ops around a free-throw line with that same young man dressed in his Nic Cage–themed parody Creed shirt. He seems to find nothing trivial about Creed’s music. The threat of irrelevance shall never tame him. You cannot force the hand of the muse.

Unfortunately, Stapp’s remoteness is also why Kelly Risch, a 58-year-old from Wisconsin with streaks of ringed, white-blond hair and glam-metal eye shadow, is currently fighting back tears in the Atrium, the ship’s lobby and central bar. Risch is sipping mimosas with her sister Shannon Crass, and, like so many of the others I have spoken to on this cruise, they each have matching Creed tattoos memorializing a personal catastrophe. Twenty years ago, Risch suffered a massive blood clot in her leg and almost died. Crass printed out the lyrics to the latter-day Creed ballad “Don’t Stop Dancing”—a song about finding dignity in the chaos of life—and pinned them in Crass’ intensive care unit during her recovery. Today the chorus is painted on their wrists, right above Scott Stapp’s initials.

The sisters were two of the first 500 customers to buy tickets to “Summer of ’99,” which guaranteed them a photo with the band at its cabin. This is why Risch is crying. The photo shoot came with strict rules, all of which she respected: no Sharpies, no hugs, and no cellphones. She’d hoped for a moment, though—after spending $5,000 and traveling all the way from the upper Midwest, after clinging to life with the help of Creed, and after waiting 12 long years to have the band back—to thank the singer for his comfort. But Stapp, even indoors, was wearing dark, face-obscuring sunglasses. She didn’t even get to make eye contact.

“He’s so great with the crowd. He’s so engaging onstage,” says Crass. “I think that’s why this is disappointing.”

The two sisters are determined to make the most of the rest of their vacation. The Pearl will be pulling into Miami tomorrow at 7 a.m., and there are plenty more mimosas left to drink. I tell them I’m going to speak with Stapp, and the rest of Creed, in an hour. Do they have anything they’d like me to ask?

“Tell him not to wear sunglasses during the photos,” they say.

Creed is finishing up the meet-and-greet obligations in a chilly rococo ballroom, paneled—somewhat inexplicably—with portraits of Russian royalty. The band members have been at this all morning, after a late night finishing off the second performance of their two comeback sets. A molasses churn of Creed fans, all sea-weathered and scalded with maroon sunburns, weaves through a bulwark of chairs and tables toward the pinned black curtains at the rear.

Creed has this down to an art. The band is capable of generating a photo every 30 seconds, and afterward, the fans exit back down the aisle, with beaming smiles, their brush with stardom consummated. Stapp chugs a bottle of Fiji water and holds out his hand for a fist bump after the last of those passengers disappear. A crucifix dangles above his navel, and an American flag is stitched to his T-shirt. He’s still wearing those sunglasses.

I am given just 15 minutes to ask questions, in a makeshift interview setup against the portside windows, under the watchful surveillance of the entire Creed apparatus—both PR reps, a few scurrying Sixthman operators, the photographer, and so on. I ask what their day-to-day life is like aboard the “Summer of ’99,” in this highly concentrated environment of super fans, with no obvious escape routes. Stapp says that he has spent most of the time on the cruise “resting and exercising,” while Brian Marshall, the band’s bassist, told me he executes his privilege of being one of the band’s secondary members by frequenting the sauna and steam room. Throughout the weekend, Marshall is hardly recognized.

Scott Phillips, Creed’s drummer, confirms my suspicions about the cruise’s demographics. The ticket data reveals that a good number of the passengers aboard are under 35 years old. I’m curious to know how the band members are adjusting to this new paradigm shift, and if they wish to settle common ground between the post-ironic millennials and the much more zealous Gen Xers, who bear Creed insignias on their calves and forearms.

“People are drawn to our music for different reasons,” Stapp says. “That’s probably why you have the guys you were talking about, who want to chill and drink light beer and scream ‘Creed rocks!’ and the others, who have a much deeper, emotional impact.”

“And maybe, at some point, with the light-beer guys, it does connect with them,” Phillips adds. Stapp agrees.

But, really, the reason I’m here is because I want to ask Stapp a question I’ve been curious about for the entirety of Creed’s career. The band’s bizarre odyssey, from its warm reception among youth groups across America to the bloodthirsty backlash that met its success to this current psychedelic revival, has all orbited around a single lasting question: Why is Scott Stapp so serious? Could he ever mellow out? Does he want to? Surely now is the time. If Stapp allocated some levity for himself, then so many of the bad things people have said about him would be easier to process. Who knows? Maybe he’d have an easier time getting his arms around the current state of Creed, a group that is now, without a doubt, simultaneously the coolest and lamest band in the world. Why must he make being in Creed so difficult?

“It’s just who I am,” he says. “It’s what inspires me. It’s where I come from. And it’s tough, because you have to live it. That’s the conundrum of it all. That’s the double-edged sword. If I started writing [lighter material], there would be a dramatic shift in my existence.”

There’s a break in the conversation, then Stapp asks me to identify the name of the new Taylor Swift album. The songwriter’s 11 th record has dropped like a nuclear bomb while we’ve all been out to sea, but data restrictions mean that nobody on board can access Spotify or any other streaming service. The Norwegian Pearl serves as a butt-rock pocket dimension: The biggest story in pop music simply can’t penetrate our airtight seal of Hinder, Staind, and so much Creed. “It’s called The Tortured Poets Department ,” I reply. Outside of my fiancée, he is the only person on the entire cruise I will speak to about Taylor Swift.

“That’s what I feel,” he says, without a shred of artifice. “I connect with that title.”

Later that evening, I climb to the top of the Pearl for a final round of karaoke, where fans keep the spirit of 1999 alive for a few more hours. The bar is more hectic than it’s been all trip—everyone is willing to risk a hangover now that Monday is all that looms on the horizon. The host asks a guest if they intended to sing “Torn” by Creed or “Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia. “I assume Creed, but Natalie would be a fun surprise.”

The playlist is more diverse than I expected. We are treated to both Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’ ” and Shania Twain’s “Any Man of Mine.” Brandon Smith, one of the very few people of color aboard the cruise, crushes Maroon 5’s “She Will Be Loved.” A lanky kid from St. Louis unleashes a Slipknot death-growl into the microphone. A queer couple quietly slow-dances on the otherwise empty dance floor. And a 16-year-old, teeth tightened by braces, orders his last Sprite of the night. “Rockers are the most awesome people!” shouts one transcendently inebriated guest over the clamor of his Rolling Stones cover. “Creed is awesome!” On this one thing, at least, we can all agree.

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50 Best Cruise Jokes, Puns and Sayings that Will Make You Laugh

The Ultimate Collection of Cruise Jokes, Puns and One Liners

Short cruise jokes

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2. Colorful Cruise ship accident

3. Marriage trouble

4. Latest cruise ship trend

5. Cruise Ship Talk

6. Nervous new cruiser

7. No Leeks allowed

8. Cruise crew joke

9. Christmas cruise joke

10. Marine life

11. Bermuda Triangle

12. The friendly sea

13. Haunted cruise

14. Mermaids

15. Cruise ship sickness

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17. Sinking cruise ship joke

18. Inside cabin problems

19. A Pirate in a Bar

20. Popular cruise comedian joke

21. Advice from the ocean

More travel jokes

23. Flight trouble

24. Emotional baggage

Funny things overheard on a cruise

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25 Hilarious Cruise Jokes to Tell at Sea

25 Hilarious Cruise Jokes

2. Sick Cruise Ships

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4. Life as a Crew Member

5. Inside Cabins

6. Shower Trouble

7. Emotional Baggage

8. Ocean Waves

9. Marriage Trouble

10. Nervous Cruiser

11. Mechanical Issues

12. Bermuda Triangle

13. On a Cruise Ship Deck

14. Christmas Cruise Joke

15. Sinking Cruise Ship Joke

16. The Friendly Sea

17. Booze Cruise

18. Lost Rolex

19. Pier Pressure

20. Breaking News

21. Latest Cruise Ship Trend

22. Vegetables

23. Marine life

24. Bermuda Triangle

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627 Cruise Jokes to Keep You Laughing from Port to Port

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