cruise ship memes funny

47 Funny Cruise Ship Memes – Best for 2024

If you’re looking for a good laugh, then look no further than these funny cruise ship memes. From the silly to the downright absurd, these memes will have you chuckling in no time.

We’ve scoured the internet for some of the funniest cruise memes out there, and we’re sure you’ll get a good laugh out of them or at least raise a smile.

I’ve tried to capture every funny side of cruising, including memes about needing a cruise through to cruise day, the onboard buffet food, and many more.

But first in case you didn’t already know.

So what’s a cruise ship meme?

A cruise ship meme is any funny or relatable image or video that’s been shared online, typically with a caption added. And when it comes to cruise ship memes, there’s no shortage of funny cruise ship pics.

Whether you’re a seasoned cruiser or someone who’s thinking about taking their first cruise, these memes will definitely resonate.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the funniest cruise ship memes out there.

Funny Cruise Memes

In case you are looking for a specific type of cruise meme relating to a specific cruise line or situation such as being a cruise addict or overindulging in the buffet we have split the memes into humor categories below.

Near the end, we group a random selection of the best and funniest cruise memes for you to enjoy before ending with memes that represent the feelings of disembarkation day.

Carnival Cruise Memes

Carnival Cruises are the best and some passengers are very loyal.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Cruise Industry Expert (@seadaytravel)

Disney Cruise Memes

Disney-inspired cruise memes are always popular.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Cruise Memes (@cruise.memes)

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Kingdom Konsultant Travel (@kingdomkonsultants)

Booze Cruise Memes

For some cruisers, it’s all about the boozing and the drinks package, cocktails, and having a very merry time on vacation.

I like this feeling:

Cruise Food and Buffet Memes

We all know how good and how much food is on offer onboard the cruise ship.

No matter what your intentions are before embarking, it usually doesn’t last long.

Its actually quite surprising how much weight can be put on in 7 days!

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Steve Jones (@stevejonesvacations)

Know this feeling, especially on the first visit to the buffet. The joy and excitement is real.

Let’s get fat together.

Withdrawal symptoms from the buffet start to set in.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by richard (@cruisewithrichard)

View this post on Instagram A post shared by GangwayEveryday (@gangwayeveryday)

Haha, when you get home.

It was only 7 days, made the most of it though.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Prof Cruise (@profcruise)

I Need a Cruise Memes

We spend a lot of time waiting for the next cruise.

Do you get this excited when booking a cruise is mentioned?

My kind of house in between cruises (I wish).

This is a great idea for the yard.

Funny and cute!

What kind of friend are they anyway if they go without you?

The days are long while waiting.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Cruise Pics and Tips (@cruisepicsandtips)

When the wait is too long and you’ve reached breaking point!

It’s all about prioritizing for the cruise budget.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by 𝗖𝗿𝘂𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗕𝗲 (@cruisebe)

Packing Cruise Memes

It’s all about the packing

How do you distinguish your luggage?

Anyone else do this? (I do!)

It’s Cruise Day Memes

You know that crazy happy feeling!

Love this one, watch the kid’s food fly! (Poor kid but at least smiling)

Going on a Cruise Memes

When the cruise is booked nothing can stop the smile when that happy feeling has set in.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Hajózásról Őszintén (@thecruisepics)

The cruise is booked, all is good.

Every time, never gets old.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Cruisin’ & Schmoozin’ w/Tony (@tonycarnival)

Screw everything and everyone.

So exciting.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Rick Stover (@rickstover1)

Size 7 day Cruise Memes

When it comes to happy birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s and Father’s day, some people only want to wear a size 7 day cruise!

What do you want to wear for Christmas?

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Bolsover Cruise Club (@bolsovercruise)

Another one but this time for Disney:

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Let’s Talk Dis (@letstalkdispodcast)

Cruise Addict Memes

Are you a cruise addict?

This is the dream:

View this post on Instagram A post shared by The Lido Lizard (@lido_lizard)

Best Random Funny Cruise Memes

Can you see it? 🙂

Is this you? Where am I exactly?

Cruise towels.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Helloworld Travel Naracoorte (@helloworldnaracoorte)

Yes, it’s a cruise cabin!

Is this you whenever you hear the word cruise.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Dave & Brandy’s Excursions (@daveandbrandys_excursions)

Love cruising meme.

Disembarkation Day Cruise Memes

All good things must come to end (until the next cruise).

No rush to leave the ship, or even the cabin.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by More Precious Than Gold (@morepreciousthangoldta)

Do you think we’d ever get away with it? Hide.

Know this feeling. Hard times.

Back home to chores.

More Funny Memes

If you are still looking for more funny cruising memes or image you might find some at these sources which our updated regularly:

Cruise Memes Facebook Groups – a great source and no wonder it has over 75,000 followers. They also post many of their memes on their Instagram page .

I hope these cruise memes made you laugh or gave you a few reasons to smile.

Which one was your favorite? Feel free to let me know.

Related Posts

What is the Draft of a Cruise Ship? (and Why Does it Matter?)

How Many Doors on a Cruise Ship? (Yes, I Counted)

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50 Funny Cruise Memes to Brighten up Your Day

• February 13, 2024
• Cruise Chuckles

Embarking on a cruise is an adventure filled with endless possibilities, from the majestic view of the ocean to the thrill of exploring new destinations. However, it’s the quirky and unexpected moments on board that often turn into the most memorable stories.

In our collection of 50 funny cruise memes, we dive into the lighter side of cruising, capturing those relatable experiences and humorous observations that anyone who’s set sail can appreciate.

What Is a ‘Meme’?

A ‘meme’ is a funny picture or video, usually captioned with text, that people share on the internet. It often has a humorous message and is spread from person to person online.

Memes can be jokes, social commentary, or just something silly to make people laugh. They’re a popular way for people to communicate and share their thoughts or feelings in a light-hearted way.

Cruise Obsession Memes

Cruise obsession memes often poke fun at how much people love going on cruises. Many people can relate to the anticipation of counting down the days until their next cruise adventure.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Rick Stover (@rickstover1)

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Cruise Memes (@cruise.memes)

View this post on Instagram A post shared by James (@cruisememes24)

Cruise Withdrawal Memes

All good things come to an end, and that includes cruises! Feeling the post-cruise blues is common, and cruise withdrawal memes capture this emotion with a smile. They remind us of the joy of cruising and the inevitable longing to return, poking fun at how everything else seems dull in comparison.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many people were unable to cruise, which intensified their feelings longing and withdrawal. They found themselves reminiscing about past voyages and eagerly awaiting the day they could sail again.

Cruise Food Memes

From the endless buffets to gourmet dining at every turn, cruise food memes humorously capture the sheer abundance and variety of food offered on cruise ships. The memes also highlight how hard it is not to overeat while cruising, something that many people can relate to.

Cruise Drinks Memes

When it comes to cruise vacations, the allure of unlimited drink packages is often the highlight, sparking countless memes about the adventurous spirit (and potential consequences) of free-flowing cocktails at sea.

Cruise Weather Memes

Cruise weather memes humorously reflect the unpredictable nature of sea travel, especially when it comes to navigating through rough seas. These memes often capture the dramatic, sometimes exaggerated experiences of passengers and crew alike as they face the challenges posed by rough waters.

Cruise Struggles Memes

From battling for the last deck chair to navigating the many corridors of the ship on the first day, cruise struggle memes capture the lighter side of these common challenges. They offer a humorous reflection on the quirks and annoyances that come with the cruise experience.

Cruise Preparation Memes

When it comes to preparing for a cruise, the experience can be filled with a mix of excitement and anxiety. Cruise preparation memes capture the funny and relatable moments of getting ready or planning for a cruise.

Cruise Passenger Memes

Nothing says ‘cruise life’ quite like the early morning dash to claim a deck chair with a towel and a book you’ll pretend to read. Cruise passenger memes perfectly capture the behaviors of those on board in a way that we can all relate to, whether we’ve been on a cruise or not.

Cruise Photographer Memes

As anyone who’s set sail on a cruise knows, photographers are the unsung heroes of the high seas, always ready to freeze our best (and sometimes awkward) moments in time. Although the eagerness of cruise photographers to snap that perfect shot can sometimes mean they’re everywhere you turn, and not all photos are winners, sparking funny memes about them.

Cruise Disembarkation Memes

When a cruise ends, the toughest part isn’t packing; it’s having to say goodbye to the sea and the ship you’ve called home. Disembarkation memes capture these sad goodbyes and the struggle of getting up early to leave, in a funny way.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Steve Jones (@stevejonesvacations)

Other Funny Cruise Memes

Here are some other funny cruise memes that will make you smile:

Final Words

We hope that these memes have not only brought a smile to your face but also a wave of nostalgia for the unique experiences that cruising offers. You can check out more funny cruise memes on the ‘Cruise Memes’ Instagram and Facebook pages.

Related articles:

• Hilarious Cruise Puns to Brighten Your Day

Adam Stewart

Adam Stewart is the founder of Cruise Galore. He is a passionate traveler who loves cruising. Adam's goal is to enhance your cruising adventures with practical tips and insightful advice, making each of your journeys unforgettable.

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• Cruise Humor / Cruising / General

The 30 BEST Cruise Memes

by Prof. Cruise · Published May 20, 2020 · Updated June 6, 2021

I’m not sure the highlighted portion of the above title would pass a lie detector test: “BEST cruise memes? That’s a lie!” But creating dozens of cruise memes has served as a poor – but better than growing my own sourdough starter or busting a hip trying to out-dance my 7 year-old on TikTok – substitute for cruising during this extended period of quarantine in my home port of Seattle.

I’ve shared some of these already on my Facebook page and on Instagram , but many are debuting here. Feel free to laugh, cry, and share widely with your cruise loving friends.

Funny Cruise Memes

Pre-cruise:

Post cruise:

Share an exciting announcement with your friends:

Life goals:

I cruise blog to cruise to cruise blog and so on. It’s a tough life. Especially…

A true friend would NEVER say this…

Those nice smelling spa ladies get me every time! Yes, I deserve to relax and be pampered, damnit!

Post this one to Facebook for the full effect:

First day of a cruise:

Last day of a cruise:

Me, right this very second:

Because I won’t be doing THIS anytime soon:

Which brings us to…

Coronavirus Related Cruise Memes

Holiday Cruise Memes

Two for Valentine’s Day:

(For Carnival cruise fans…)

Thanksgiving:

New Year’s:

Inspiring Or Positive Cruise Memes

And finally…

Class Dismissed.

Homework: Be sure to follow Prof. Cruise on Facebook and Instagram for future cruise memes! Also, go  here  for 15 things for cruise lovers to do while staying at home.

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Tags: cruise memes cruise quotes funny cruise memes

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About Prof. Cruise

Given name Sarah, but also answers to Prof. Cruise. Retired after 10 years as a college professor to focus full-time on her primary research interest: travel. With a concentration in cruising.  Home port: Seattle.  Mom of a shaggy-haired dog and a shaggy-haired human.  Lover of books and dessert.  Fancies herself a bit of a comedian – you’ve been warned.

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25 Funny-Relatable Cruise Memes and Cruise Jokes Revolving Cruise Travel

Embark on a laughter-filled voyage with our collection of cruise memes and jokes.

Whether you’re in for outright hilarity, honest truths, or a dose of delightful corniness, our selection captures the diverse humor of the cruise experience. From buffet fun to navigating cruise ship dilemmas, join us in celebrating the lighter side of cruise travel with these funny and relatable cruise memes and jokes.

Feel free to share our cruise memes and jokes with your friends. Don’t forget to tag us! Tell us your favorite cruise meme, cruise joke, or cruise pun in the comments.

Table of Contents

1. Formal Flip Flop Night

Me deciding which shoes to pack for a cruise: “But what if there’s a formal flip-flop night?”

2. Why did the banana go on a cruise?

Why did the banana go on a cruise? Because it wanted to slip into vacation mode.

3. Cruise Math is Hard

Choosing a drink package: Because adulting is hard, and so is math.

4. Trying all the Cruise Desserts

I’m going to eat healthy on this cruise. Also me… let me try all the desserts.

5. The Wardrobe Doesn’t Go as Planned

My cruise wardrobe plan vs. What I actually end up wearing.

Read more: Women’s Cruise Wear Guide

6. Why did the cruise ship break up with the ocean?

Why did the cruise ship break up with the ocean? It needed space.

7. Fairy Godmother On Formal Night

When your fairy godmother shows up for formal night.

8. Cruise o’Clock Meme

The only countdown that matters: Cruise o’clock!

9. Cruise Sea Days and Lounge Chairs

Finding a lounge chair on a cruise sea day: Mission Impossible!

10. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship?

What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? Nothing, it just waved.

11. More Time Eating Than Exploring

When you’ve spent more time eating than exploring the ports.

12. Cruise Elevators

The real test of patience on a cruise: elevators.

Cruise Tip: Always take the stairs.

13. 3 Rules of Cruising

Rule 1: Don’t ask someone their real age; we’re all forever 29 on the Lido Deck. Rule 2: No calorie counting. Calories don’t count at sea, right? Rule 3: If someone drops their ice cream cone, we all pretend it never happened. Sea mishaps are classified under ‘Ship Happens.’

14. Packing for a Cruise Like a Tetris Champion

Me when it’s time to pack for a cruise: Pretending I’m a Tetris champion with my suitcase. It must all fit!

Read more: Cruise Items to Pack for a Cruise

15. Take Advantage Of The Drink Package

Taking advantage of that drink package. “Another one, please!”

16. Watching the Cruise Countdown

When the cruise countdown is still in the triple digits… then hits the double digits and finally the single digits!

17. Money Can Buy Happiness

Money can buy happiness. It’s called a cruise.

18. Studying Cruise Deck Maps

Studying the cruise deck maps like it’s a treasure map. Buffet, I’m coming for you!

19. Cocktail to Order Next

On a Cruise: The only decision I want to make is which cocktail to order next.

20. Reading Turns Into Dancing By The Pool

Me on a cruise: I’m going to read a book by the pool Also, me, when the DJ plays my favorite song: Get’s up to dance, “Oh, that’s my song!”

21. What’s a cruise ship’s favorite kind of music?

What’s a cruise ship’s favorite kind of music? Rock and roll!

22. Waking Up Early For A Day At Port

Waking for a day at work: Hitting snooze like it’s my job. Waking up for a day at port.

23. Expert at the Cruise Spa

Cruise Spa Level: Expert. Because relaxation is a sport, and I’m going for the gold.

24. What to Get Me For My Birthday

In case you’re wondering what to get me for my birthday… I’m a size 7-night Caribbean Cruise.

25. Daydreaming About 5 to 9

Guess which one I’m daydreaming about? 9 to 5 (work) or 5 to 9 (on vacation)

BEFORE YOU SET SAIL, HERE ARE SOME RELATED ARTICLES YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS:

• Inspiring Cruise Quotes
• Foodie Travel Quotes

Meet Kathy Ava, a food, travel, and cruise writer based in Los Angeles/Pasadena, and the owner and main writer of Tasty Itinerary. With over 20 years of experience planning trips and logistics at her full-time job and for herself, she's become a pro at crafting unforgettable tasty itineraries. She's always on the hunt for delicious, fun travel destinations and cruise itineraries. She firmly believes that life is short and we must make the most of it, so always say yes to dessert.

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15 Cruise Memes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

L ooking for a good laugh? Do you miss going on cruises? If so, then you need to check out these cruise memes! These memes are sure to make you laugh out loud with their relatable humor that only those who have been on a cruise can appreciate. Here are some of our favorite cruise memes that will always make us laugh out loud.

1. Last Day of Cruise Meme

When you pack everything in your check-in luggage and forget to set aside the clothes you’ll need to disembark the cruise ship…

2. Cruise Buffet Meme

This is me every day after having lunch at the cruise buffet.

3. Cruise Beverage Package Meme

This is my cruise beverage package strategy.

4. Burning Calories at the Cruise Meme

You won’t find me at the gym. This is me burning off calories at the cruise.

5. Waiting for the Luggage on Embarkation Day Meme

The joy of reuniting with your luggage after cruise embarkation!

7. Separation Anxiety on the Last Night of your Cruise Meme

Me having separation anxiety with my check in luggage on the last night of the cruise. (You can find more cruise memes on our Cruise Facebook page .

8. Cruise Elevator Meme

Hunger Games: Cruise Ship Edition!

9. Cruise Formal Night Meme

Cruise Formal night: To Tuxedo or to Hawaiian Shirt?

10. Eating Healthy at the Cruise Meme

My cruise diet consists of bread, steak, shrimp cocktail, French onion soup, pizza, burgers, wine and lots of desserts!

11. Snacking at the Cruise Meme

I’ll just be at the buffet until dinner time.

12. Cruise Port Day Meme

When you’re finally back on the cruise ship after a long day at the port.

13. Oversleeping at the Cruise Meme

When you wake up at 10:01am and realize you missed the cruise breakfast buffet by one minute!

14. When Someone Says They Don’t Like to Cruise Meme

To the people who don’t like cruising- you’re missing out big time.

15. Cruise Ship Lounge Chair Meme

Good luck getting a lounge chair at the cruise ship pool on sea days.

If you want more cruise memes, subscribe to our newsletter and like our Cruise Facebook page .

Check out these free cruise printables

Caribbean cruise packing list

Alaska cruise packing list

Cruise Toiletry Bag & Cruise First Aid Kit Packing List

How Cruise Lines Trick You Into Spending More Money: 12 Sneaky Ways

11 Most Annoying People to Avoid on a Cruise

10 Ridiculous Time Wasters to Avoid on a Cruise

12 Cruise Mistakes that Will Ruin Your Sea Days

9 Dumbest Cruise Mistakes You’ll Laugh At

The post 15 Cruise Memes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud appeared first on Suburbs 101 .

• cruise ship

50 Best Cruise Jokes, Puns and Sayings that Will Make You Laugh

Sharing is caring!

The Ultimate Collection of Cruise Jokes, Puns and One Liners

If you love cruising and can use a laugh or two, read on! This collection of 50 of the best cruise jokes, puns and even some funny things overheard on cruise ships, will surely give you a chuckle.

The cruise puns and sayings can also make great captions on social media, and can even be printed on cruise t-shirts and mugs as you get ready for a future cruise !

If you love cruise jokes, memes and cruise travel inspiration , you’ll love our Life Well Cruised facebook page !

This post contains affiliate links which means if you click and buy that I may make a commission, at no cost to you. Please see my disclosure policy for details.

Life Well Cruised is a participant in the Amazon Services in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Short cruise jokes

Most of these cruise jokes are family friendly, so you can even teach your children any of them before your next cruise.

1. Ocean waves

What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing. They just waved.

2. Colorful Cruise ship accident

Did you hear about the red cruise ship and the blue cruise ship that crashed into each other at sea?

All the survivors were marooned.

3. Marriage trouble

I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.

4. Latest cruise ship trend

Did you hear the latest trend is installing trampolines on cruise ships? Now everyone is jumping on board.

5. Cruise Ship Talk

What do you call an azipod that doesn’t work? 

6. Nervous new cruiser

A nervous first time cruiser asked the Captain, “Do ships like this sink very often?” No, replied the Captain, “Usually only once.”

7. No Leeks allowed

What vegetable isn’t allowed on cruise ships?

8. Cruise crew joke

What’s it like working on a cruise ship?

It has it’s up and downs

9. Christmas cruise joke

Where does Santa go on vacation?

10. Marine life

Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

11. Bermuda Triangle

What would you call the Bermuda triangle if it had 4 corners? The Bermuda Wreck-Tangle

12. The friendly sea

How do we know we know the ocean is friendly?

13. Haunted cruise

What do ghosts eat on a cruise?

14. Mermaids

What does a mermaid use to call her friends?

A shell phone of course!

15. Cruise ship sickness

Where do sick cruise ships go?

Longer cruise jokes

16. on a cruise ship deck.

A man is standing on deck, gazing out at the water. As the ship passes a small remote island, he spots somebody. He squints to make out what he sees – a thin, straggly man with wild looking hair. He watches as the man runs from side to side, jumps up and down and waves his arm. 

The cruise passenger turns to the captain and says “What’s up with that guy?” The captain shrugs and replies “I don’t know, but he’s happy to see us every year when we pass!”

17. Sinking cruise ship joke

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea and the cruise passengers manage to escape on life boats. A woman asks the Captain “How far is the closest land?”

“3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad, in which direction?, she asks.

The Captain replied “Down”

18. Inside cabin problems

A couple called down to guest services, complaining that they were stuck and couldn’t get out of their cabin. 

“What’s the issue?”, answered the purser. “There are only 2 doors”, replied the woman. “One is the bathroom and the other says Do Not Disturb.”

19. A Pirate in a Bar

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, “Hey, what’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Argh, I’ve got a bounty on my head.”

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

20. Popular cruise comedian joke

The showers in the cruise cabins are so small, I just soap the walls and spin around a few times!

21. Advice from the ocean

Be shore of yourself, come our of your shell, take time to relax and coast, avoid pier pressure, sea life’s beauty, don’t get tide down, make waves!

More travel jokes

22. airplane travel.

What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?

The plane chocolate.

23. Flight trouble

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?

It was overbooked

24. Emotional baggage

I told my suitcase there will be no cruise vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage!

Recommended:  50 Best Gifts for Cruisers 2021 (that are unique & practical)

Funny things overheard on a cruise

Cruise ship crew have been sharing some of the funny things they’ve heard cruise passengers say over the years. We’ve also heard a few things that have given us a chuckle as well.

25. What time is the midnight buffet?

26. What happens to the ice sculptures after they melt?

27. To the Captain – “If you’re here, who’s driving the ship?” ( please don’t say this) 

28. Do these elevators go to the front of the ship?

29. Do the crew sleep on board?

30. Is the ocean salt water?

31. When visiting Rome “I’m surprised the ruins are in such bad shape.”

32. How do we know which pictures are ours?

33. How do they get enough water to fill the cruise ship pools while out at sea?

Suggested: 25 Surprising Things You Didn’t Know About Cruise Ships

Cruise puns and one liners

34. I’m struggling with jokes today, so you’ll have to put up with this one liner

Ok, in all seriousness, a good cruise pun often makes a fun, short and sweet Instagram caption, or can even be used on a personalized cruise t-shirt or mug design.

35. Cruiseitude (n)  a grumpy mood from lack of cruising

36. Thallosphile (n.) a person who loves the sea, oceans.

37. Sea you soon

38. What happens on the cruise ship, stays on a cruise ship.

39. I’m on vacation and I don’t give a ship

40. Ship happens

41. Feeling a little Nauti

42. Seas the day

43. Sea life’s beauty

44. Keep calm and cruise

45. Sorry, I was ship faced

46. Happiness comes in waves

47. Cruise hair, don’t care

48. I have no cruise control, It’s like they book themselves.

49. I need my vitamin sea

50. Whatever floats your boat

Read next:   25 Inspirational Cruise Quotes for Those Who Love Travel and Sea

Funny Cruise T-shirts, Coffee Mugs and Novelty Items

“Ship Faced” Thermal Coffee Mug

Cruise Mug “I’m just counting the days until my next cruise”

Seriously, this rings true for me every. single. day!

Cruise coffee mug “I don’t give a Ship”

Recommended: Funny cruise ship mug

Funny Cruise t-shirt – “Blame it on the drink package”

Final thoughts: 50 Best Cruise Jokes, Puns and Sayings that Will Make You Laugh and Smile

If you love cruising, I hope this post full of cruise jokes and sayings gave you a little pick me up. If you’re a bit sentimental, and are missing cruise life these days, check out this popular post full of the best cruise travel quotes .

Another post you might enjoy, if you’re a lover of the sea is:  25 Inspirational Ocean Quotes for Those That Love the Sea

Do you have a funny cruise joke, pun or story to share? Please let me know and share in the comments below.

Happy cruising!

P.S. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please don’t keep it to yourself ;-). Please share it with a friend on Facebook or save for later on Pinterest. Thanks so much!

Popular and related posts:

50 Best Gifts for Cruisers 2021 (that are unique & practical)

25 most recommended Amazon Items to Bring on a cruise

50 Inspirational Beach Quotes for Those that Love the Sea

Let’s connect:

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51 What are cruisers favorite cookies? Ships Ahoy. I know it is bad. I think it is as good as yours.

I love it!! I really did laugh out loud. I agree – just as bad, or good, as mine 😉

Cruise jokes can be corny, right? Thanks Russell!

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Cruise Tips For Families & Single Cruisers

Things to Know Before You Cruise

Ahoy Matey! 27 Hilarious Cruise Jokes To Keep You Laughing ⚓️🤣

Ahoy mates! As someone who loves cruising, I know that it can be a time to relax, recharge, and have some fun. And what better way to have fun than with some hilarious cruise ship jokes?

I’ve compiled a list of 27 jokes that are sure to keep you laughing throughout your entire cruise. Whether you’re a first-time cruiser or a seasoned pro, there’s something for everyone in this list.

From family-friendly humor to adult-only jokes, from one-liners to funny stories, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. So sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh with these hilarious cruise ship jokes.

And who knows, you might even make some new friends by sharing a few of these jokes around the ship. So let’s set sail on a laughter-filled journey!

• The article contains 27 clean and funny cruise ship jokes, with subtopics including spring break, sunbathing, language classes, and more.
• The author mentions that most cruise ships have comedy shows on board, with options for family-friendly and adult comedy.
• The post may contain affiliate links, which could earn the author commission as an Amazon Associate.
• The author has extensive experience in the cruise industry and offers additional content on cruise ship memes, nautical greetings, and sea quotes.

Cruise Joke List

I have to say, I love how Mike Schimdt has compiled this list of 27 hilarious cruise ship jokes.

It’s great to see the wide variety of humor that can be found on a cruise ship, from the classic genie wish gone wrong to parrots spoiling magic tricks.

And of course, there’s the ever popular lost Rolex joke. It’s a testament to the creativity and humor of cruise ship entertainment and staff.

It’s also great to see that the jokes are clean and family-friendly, while still being funny and clever. It shows that you don’t need to rely on crude humor to get a laugh.

From the nervous cruiser to the scotch and water drinker, there’s something for everyone on this list. It’s a great reminder that humor is an important part of the cruise experience, and adds to the overall enjoyment of the trip.

Family-Friendly Humor

With so many family-friendly comedy shows available on cruise ships, it’s no wonder that parents and kids alike can enjoy a good laugh while sailing on the high seas. Whether it’s a stand-up comedian or a comedic magician, there’s something for everyone on board. Cruise ship activities don’t just involve swimming and sunbathing, there’s also a wide range of entertainment options that are perfect for families.

To emphasize the importance of family-friendly humor on cruise ships, here’s a table showcasing some of the best comedy shows available for families:

With so many options available, families can enjoy a variety of cruise ship entertainment that caters to their specific interests. Whether it’s a magic show, a comedy act, or a puppet show, there’s something for everyone. The best part is that these shows are all family-friendly, so parents can relax and enjoy the entertainment without having to worry about any inappropriate content. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh on your next cruise vacation!

Adult-Only Humor

For those seeking a more mature sense of humor, adult-only comedy shows on cruise ships offer a chance to unwind and enjoy some naughty nautical and risqué routines.

These shows are typically held in the evenings, after the family-friendly shows have ended, and are designed for adults who want to let loose and have a good laugh.

The comedians performing in these shows are often more daring and edgier than their family-friendly counterparts, which makes for a night of laughter that you won’t soon forget.

Whether it’s poking fun at the cruise ship staff or sharing humorous stories about their own lives, these comedians know how to push the envelope and keep their audience laughing until their sides hurt.

So, if you’re looking for a night of adult-only humor while on your next cruise, be sure to check out the comedy shows and get ready to let loose and have some fun!

Spring Break Jokes

When planning for my spring break cruise, I can’t wait to share these clever and witty jokes with my friends and family.

The first joke about a genie and beer ocean wish is bound to get a good laugh out of everyone. Who wouldn’t want to wish for an endless supply of beer while cruising on the open sea?

But that’s not the only joke on the list that will have everyone chuckling. From jokes about nervous cruisers to sailors blowing their noses, there’s something for everyone.

And if you’re looking for a more family-friendly option, the castaway joke about a happy man on an island is sure to please.

So sit back, relax, and get ready to have a good laugh with these hilarious cruise jokes.

A genie grants a man three wishes, and he wishes for an endless supply of beer in the ocean.

A man stands on the deck playing cards and a gust of wind blows them away.

A castaway is finally rescued from a deserted island and is asked how he survived.

Castaway Jokes

I particularly enjoy the castaway jokes on the list, especially the one about the happy man who was rescued from the island. It made me laugh out loud imagining the sheer joy and relief he must have felt when he finally saw the rescue boat approaching. Speaking of happy islands, have you ever dreamt of being stranded on a beautiful tropical island with nothing to worry about but sipping piña coladas and sunbathing? Well, according to a recent survey, 75% of Americans have.

To help you visualize this dream scenario, let me paint a picture for you. Imagine yourself lying on a white sandy beach, with crystal clear turquoise water on one side and a lush green jungle on the other. You’re holding a colorful drink with a little umbrella in one hand, and a parrot is perched on the other, doing tricks for your entertainment. Ah, the sweet taste of freedom! But let’s be real, we all know that being stranded on an island would also come with its own set of challenges. Just take a look at this table:

All things considered, I think I’ll stick to daydreaming about island adventures and leave the castaway jokes to the comedians. Speaking of which, did you hear about the magician and his parrot? Let’s just say, the bird had a few tricks up its sleeve that the audience wasn’t expecting.

Ship Sinking Jokes

My mind meanders to the morbid as I muse about the mishaps that may materialize when ships sink. But leave it to cruise ship comedians to turn a harrowing event into a humorous one.

I recall a joke where a cruise ship sinks, and passengers escape on lifeboats. Two bankers are the only survivors, and one makes a business joke. It’s a witty take on a scary scenario, and it’s the kind of humor that makes light of a situation and alleviates fear.

On a more serious note, when a ship sinks, the captain makes announcements to keep passengers informed and calm. It’s a crucial role, and one that requires both leadership and compassion.

But in today’s modern era, it’s not just safety and communication that are evolving on cruise ships. The latest trend is installing trampolines for guests to bounce around on the high seas. Who knew that bouncing on a trampoline could be a fun way to pass the time on a sinking ship? I suppose it’s one way to stay afloat, both literally and figuratively.

Cabin Steward Jokes

As a frequent cruiser, I always look forward to the cabin steward jokes that are often shared during the family-friendly comedy shows on board.

One of my favorite jokes involves the cabin steward making the bed in the middle of the night while the passengers are sleeping. The punchline goes something like this: "I never knew someone could make a bed while I was still in it!"It’s a classic joke that never fails to get a laugh from the audience.

Another popular cabin steward joke involves cleaning pranks. The comedian tells a story about a passenger who left a note on the bathroom mirror asking the steward to clean it. The next day, the passenger found a note on the mirror that read, "I cleaned the mirror, but I couldn’t find your face!"

And let’s not forget the bedtime stories that some cabin stewards like to tell. One comedian joked about how his cabin steward told him a bedtime story about a cruise ship that sank, causing him to have nightmares for the rest of the trip.

These types of jokes add a fun element to the cruise experience and keep passengers entertained throughout their trip.

One-Liner Jokes

Feeling in need of a good laugh? These one-liner jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone on your next cruise adventure.

Whether you’re looking for a family-friendly joke or something a bit more adult, these quick quips are perfect for sharing with your fellow shipmates. So, without further ado, here are four one-liner cruise jokes to keep you chuckling:

‘Why did the pirate take a parrot on his cruise? For the arrrrrrrrguments!’

‘I took a language class on my last cruise. Let’s just say, I still don’t know how to ask for directions to the bathroom.’

‘Why did the magician bring a parrot on stage? To make his tricks more a-PECK-ting!’

‘I tried to book a small ship for my next cruise, but they said it was too premature to make a reservation.’

These jokes are sure to have you and your fellow passengers laughing out loud. Whether you’re lounging by the pool or taking in a comedy show, these one-liners are the perfect way to lighten the mood and enjoy your time at sea.

So, why not share a joke or two with your shipmates and see who can come up with the funniest punchline? After all, laughter’s the best medicine, even on a cruise ship!

What are the latest cruise deals available for booking?

I just booked a cruise and found amazing deals on popular cruise lines! From luxurious spas and gourmet dining to thrilling water slides and Broadway shows, cruise ship amenities are unbeatable. Can’t wait to set sail and feel the freedom of the open sea!

How can readers book tickets for comedy shows on board cruise ships?

Booking tickets for comedy shows on board cruise ships is easy. Simply check the ship’s schedule for show times and visit the onboard box office to purchase tickets. Pricing options vary, but there are usually family-friendly and adult-only shows available.

Can readers share their own cruise jokes or memes with the author’s email list?

Hey there! I love a good cruise joke as much as the next person, but let’s talk about reader participation. Have you ever shared your own hilarious cruise experience or meme with the author’s email list? It’s a great way to connect and share laughs!

What are some popular cruise ship destinations that the author recommends?

When it comes to the best cruise destinations for families, the Caribbean and Mediterranean are top picks. The Caribbean offers beautiful beaches and tropical weather, while the Mediterranean has rich history and culture. Both offer a sense of freedom and adventure.

Are there any safety measures in place on cruise ships to prevent ship sinkings or accidents?

Cruise safety measures are taken seriously onboard. Emergency protocols are in place, including lifeboats, evacuation drills, and GPS tracking systems. It’s like being a captain of your own ship, with backup plans for any situation.

10 Funniest Cruise Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

By: Author Carrie Ann Karstunen

Posted on Published: May 19, 2020  - Last updated: July 2, 2022

Do you love going to the comedy shows when you’re on a cruise? I know it’s one of my favorite things to do on a ship. But until cruising starts up again, we’ll have to make do with telling some cruise jokes.

I’ve collected the funniest cruise jokes at sea, so you can crack up your friends and family with some cruise humor. Dad joke alert: some of these are pretty corny! But they’re all clean cruise jokes, and safe for the entire family. Enjoy!

Bankers aweigh

Two bankers were the only survivors when their cruise ship sank. They were both clinging to a single life preserver. One banker, knowing that his colleague couldn’t swim, says, “I think I can make it to shore to get help. Can you float alone?”

The other banker replies, “How can you talk business at a time like this?”

The booze cruise

A cruise ship is headed back from the Caribbean on its last night at sea. Just before dinner time, the captain gets on the loudspeaker.

“This is your captain speaking. I regret to inform you that there was an error with our provisioning. While there are 2000 passengers on board, we only have enough food for 1000 dinners. However, we do have plenty of alcohol, so anyone who is willing to give up their meal will receive free drinks for the rest of the night.”

A few hours later, the captain gets on the loudspeaker again.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize but it appears we’ve run out of booze. On the upside, we still have a thousand delicious meals for you to enjoy!”

A cruise ship passenger is standing on the deck, looking out at the ocean. As the ship passes a small island, he spots a figure on the beach. He can see it’s a very thin man with wild hair, dressed in rags. He watches him wave his arms, jump up and down, and run back and forth along the beach.

The passenger turns to the Captain, who is standing nearby:

“Captain, what’s up with that guy?”

The Captain just shrugs.

“No clue. He’s always this happy when we sail by.”

The sunbathers

Two elderly gentlemen are relaxing in the sun on a cruise ship. One turns to the other and asks, “Have you read Marx?”

“Oh, yes.” the other replies, “I believe it’s from sitting on these deck chairs”.

A magician worked on a cruise ship. There was a new set of passengers each week, so the magician performed the same tricks over and over again. The captain’s pet parrot came to all the magic shows and began to understand how each of the magic tricks worked.

Once the parrot understood, he began to shout during the show, “Look, he’s hiding the rabbit under the table!” or “Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?”

Every week, the parrot ruined the show. The magician was exasperated but couldn’t do anything. After all, it was the captain’s parrot.

One night, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. The magician found himself stranded on the iceberg…along with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but neither uttered a word. This went on for days. Finally on the fourth day, the parrot couldn’t hold back any longer. “OK, I give up.” he said, “What did you do with the ship?”

The party pooper

Why couldn’t the cruisers play cards?

Because the Captain was standing on the deck.

Rolex below deck s

A rich guy took a cruise to a tropical island, and decided to sunbathe on the beach. Wanting an even tan, he took off his luxury watch and slipped it in his pocket.

Back on board at the end of the day, he realized that his watch was gone—it must have fallen out of his pocket. Too embarrassed to admit he’d lost such an expensive item, he decided not to tell anyone.

A moment later, the Captain’s voice came on the loudspeaker. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is an announcement to the passenger who lost the Rolex Pearlmaster on the beach……The time is now 6:54 PM.”

Spring Break

A bunch of fraternity brothers go on a cruise for Spring Break. Halfway through their vacation the ship wrecks, and the young men escape on a lifeboat. They floated on the ocean for a couple of days, but no one came to rescue them. On the third day, one of the men noticed a bottle floating near the lifeboat.

“Whoa, what if there’s a genie in that bottle?” he asked. He reached into the water, picked up the bottle, and rubbed it.

With a loud whoosh, a huge genie appeared. “I am a powerful genie, but I can only grant one wish,” the genie shouted.

“That’s a no-brainer!” the frat boy said, “I wish the entire ocean was made of beer!”

The genie granted the wish, and promptly vanished.

“Dude!” groaned one of the other brothers. “Now we have to pee in the boat!”

Rethinking sinking

A very nervous first-time cruiser approached the Captain. “Do ships like this sink very often?” he asked.

Replied the captain, “No, not too often. Usually, it’s only once.”

Shipped out

A married man walks into his local pub, where all of his bachelor friends are gathered at the bar. “Hey, Dave!” shouts one of his buddies. “How’d you talk your wife into letting you come out with us?”

“Oh, I’m on my own for the week. She took the kids on a Caribbean cruise.”

“No, she wanted to.”

Which of these cruise jokes is your favorite? Let me know in the comments below!

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50 Funny Cruise Jokes And Puns for Buoyant Mood on Board

Created on: November 9, 2023

Jessica Amlee

Cruise ships are like floating cities where the buildings can’t exceed a few decks and the population is temporarily united by a mutual love of buffet lines and questionable karaoke choices. These nautical behemoths whisk away passengers to exotic destinations, offering a smorgasbord of activities that you probably wouldn’t try at home—like salsa dancing with someone who can’t find the beat, or art auctions where you pretend to understand the difference between a Monet and a mojito. It’s a place where you can wake up to the sound of waves, the sight of an endless horizon, and the gentle reminder that yes, you did indeed sing “My Heart Will Go On” last night… and there’s video proof.

Delving into the briny depths of cruise ship jokes, we find a treasure trove of humor as vast as the ocean itself. Here, you might encounter quips about the eternal quest to locate your stateroom in the labyrinthine corridors that all look suspiciously identical—rumor has it that even the captain uses breadcrumbs. Or jests about the poolside loungers, who stake their claim at dawn with towels and a determination that would impress a conquistador. From the perils of a rogue wave splashing your formal wear to the joy of discovering that “all-inclusive” extends to the soft-serve ice cream machine, cruise ship comedy is about navigating the choppy waters of vacation quirks with a lifejacket of laughter snugly fastened.

Best Cruise Jokes

What do you call a cruise full of college graduates? A Scholar-ship.

Yo mama so old, her first cruise was on Noah’s Ark.

Did you hear about the husband and wife who are banned from cruise ships? After that whole poop deck misunderstanding they had.

What does Joseph say to his wife when they go on a cruise? “It’s marytime!”

What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships? Leeks.

What do you call a ship full of male cats? Tom Cruise.

What do you call a cruise ship filled with skilled artisans? Great Craftsman Ship.

Where do sick cruise ships go to get healthy? The dock.

Did you hear about the woman who fell off the cruise ship? She has been named Eileen Dover.

Yo mama so old, she once cold called Christopher Columbus and sold him a cruise to America

Mr.Rogers once was on a cruise ship, and fell overboard into the ocean. He was then carried safely to shore by a family of sharks.

What do you call a cruise liner full of psychologists? A Freudian ship.

Did you hear that the flat-earth cruise to Antarctica is canceled? It’s disappointing, but not the end of the world.

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today…” The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.” As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too.” The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.” “Coming up,” says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one, too.” The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.” “Coming right up,” the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?” The old woman replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.”

Did you hear about the comedian who performs exclusively on this cruise ship? He specializes in one-liners.

What do you call family reunion on a cruise?? A relation-ship!

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?” “Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.” “But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”

Did you hear about the red cruise ship and blue cruise ship that collided in the Caribbean? The survivors were marooned.

What do you call a cruise ship full of chicken? All Hens on deck!

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

What’s it like working on a cruise ship? It has it’s ups and downs.

What do you call a boat of partying zombies? An ooze cruise.

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea. The people on the ship manage to escape on lifeboats. A woman comes to the captain and asks him, “How far is the closest land?”The captain answers, “3 km.” The woman says after, “In which direction?” To which the captain replied, “Down!”

Two old men are sitting on the deck of a cruise ship. The first one asks, “Have you read Marx?” The other one replies, “Yes. I believe that comes from sitting on these wicker chairs.”

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool? A broad abroad on a board aboard.

What do you call a cruise director with a broken arm? A shore thing.

A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says CRUISES – $100. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him over the head with a baseball bat and throws him into the river. Another man is walking down the street a half hour later, sees the sign, and pays the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him with the baseball bat and throws him into the river. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together and the first man asks, “Do you think they’ll serve any food on this cruise?” The second man says, “I don’t think so. They didn’t do it last year.”

Why don’t secrets ever stay secret on a cruise ship? Because even the waves spill the beans!

What’s a cruise ship’s favorite meal? Ship and dip!

What kind of music do cruise ships like? Anything with a good anchor beat.

Why did the cruise ship start a diet? It had too much cargo on board!

Two Jewish bankers escaped from that sinking Italian cruise ship They were both clinging to a life preserver. One guy, knowing the other can’t swim, says, ” I’m going to try to swim to shore to get some help. Can you float alone?” The second Jewish banker says, “How could you talk business at a time like this?”

Why don’t cruise ships get lonely? Because they’re always full of buoys and gulls!

Why did the cruise ship feel stressed? It was under a lot of pier pressure.

How do you make a cruise ship smile? Give it a little berth.

What’s a pirate’s least favorite thing about a luxury cruise? No plank walking!

A rabbi, a lawyer, and a priest are on a cruise ship when it starts to sink. As chaos ensues and people are running around frantically, the three men huddle together and try to make a grave decision. The rabbi says, “We must save the children!” The lawyer says, “No, screw the children!” Then the priest says, “Do we really have time to screw the children?”

What do you call a cruise ship where the crew won’t stop masturbating in front of passengers? A tugboat.

What do you call a gay cruise? A hardship.

Why was the computer cold on the cruise? It left its Windows open.

An LGBQT cruising ship sinks in the middle of the ocean. Who survives? The flambuoyants.

Recommended : Train Jokes

What does a cannibal say to a waiter on a cruise ship? “Please bring me the passenger list.”

Why was the cruise full of penises and potatoes not popular? It was actually a dick tater ship.

Why don’t black people go on cruise ships? Because they’re not falling for that one again.

Do you have a funny cruise ship joke? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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3 thoughts on “50 Funny Cruise Jokes And Puns for Buoyant Mood on Board”

My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take. I said, “Don’t worry. We are all in the same boat.”

I knew everyone on my cruise, guess it was a pretty good relation-ship!

What do you call an AV company specializing in Christian cruises? Cruise-effects.

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Funniest Cruise Complaints, Questions and Comments

We here at Cruise Critic have heard some funny things over the years, from ridiculous complaints to questions that make us scratch our heads. Classics include things like "What time is the midnight buffet?", "If the ship has left port, can I still get on?", "Does the crew sleep onboard?" and gripes that people in foreign countries don't speak English.

Below, in no particular order, we've compiled a list of some of the silliest and most amusing cruise complaints, comments and questions from passengers.

On This Page

Funny cruise comments in port, cruise questions and complaints overheard onboard, the joys of dining with non-foodies, funny cruise complaints, miscellaneous cruise funnies.

It's amazing what some travelers don't understand about the destinations they plan to visit on a cruise.

*"We were on an excursion to the beach in Belize a few years ago. There was a woman there who was complaining very loudly to everyone that there was too much sand on the beach."  * -Cruise Critic member Rita/KY

Also, the water was too wet.

*"A year or two ago, overheard some lady on her phone telling someone 'Well Mexico was ok, except that everyone spoke Spanish.'" * -Cruise Critic member DEBnGAB

Ay dios mio.

*"On a cruise last year to the Canary Islands we boarded a shuttle bus at one of the stops to take us into town. Soon after leaving the dock we passed a long golden beach. A lady sitting behind me said 'Oh what a lovely beach. I didn't realize we would be so near the sea.'" * -Cruise Critic member EmilyB12

Um, that's what happens when you travel by cruise ship to an island?

"In Juneau, two people asked us if the street (fairly steep hill) led to the cruise docks. (It did.) Then they asked which way! " -Cruise Critic member kenish

We're pretty sure Noah's Ark is the only ship that parks at the top of a hill, rather than down in the water.

The realities of life onboard a cruise ship can be confusing to first-timers, leading to some funny cruise comments.

*"Here's a question from a fellow passenger (first-time cruiser) we encountered. She asked us if passengers in 'outside cabins' get extra blankets to stay warm at night." * -Cruise Critic member oldguysandgalls

Nope. Each cabin receives one extra blanket, and the occupants are forced to fight over it as part of the nightly entertainment.

*"On embarkation day (yes we were still at the dock), a woman was complaining rather loudly that she had paid a lot of money for her balcony cabin, and did not want to look at the parking lot all week. She wanted to see the ocean." * -Cruise Critic member bobmal99

If she had complained to Guest Services, they would have told her to check back after the 5 p.m. sailaway party if the problem persisted.

*"We were on a ship that was rocking rather severely from a hurricane south of us, and someone asked the Captain why we were rocking so much. He replied without cracking a smile: 'Too many honeymooners onboard.'" * -Cruise Critic member swedish weave

We hope they realized he was kidding.

*"We were in the elevator on the AOS [Adventure of the Seas] when everyone was discussing the towel animals that they found in their rooms. An older lady was upset that her room steward left a 'dead chicken' hanging on a hanger in her cabin. We couldn't imagine what she was talking about until we got back to our cabin and found our towel monkey!" * -Cruise Critic member Clarkk W Griswald

The next night, he left a towel horse's head in her bed…

Eye roll all you want at food snobs, but travelers with unsophisticated palates say the darnedest things.

*"One night at dinner, hubby and I ordered tuna tartar as our appetizer. Our table mates must have thought that sounded good, so they ordered it too. Appetizers came, and we waded into ours. Then we heard one of our table mates say to the other, 'This tuna's raw!' The other one replied, 'And where's the tartar sauce?'" * -Cruise Critic member Sea Hag

Were they expecting fancy fish 'n' chips?

*"One time at a steakhouse, I ordered the beefsteak with fresh mozzarella and was asked if I knew what I was ordering. I guess I gave the waiter one of those looks because he said sorry but the night before a woman ordered one then [when] he brought her the dish, she complained to the manager that she ordered beefsteak and she wasn't served a steak." * -Cruise Critic member lady_cruiser

To be fair, "beefsteak" is a strange name for a tomato.

*"On the NCL Spirit last summer, waiting in the poolside BBQ line, the guy in front of me looks down at the sizeable and yummy-looking ribs and asks the server, 'Are those beef ribs or chicken?'" * -Cruise Critic member Rooster Sharkey

Chicken fingers as a concept is also confusing, but we're pretty sure "chicken ribs" is not a thing.

"Overheard in the Windjammer:

*Him: 'I think I'll pass on the chicken. It looks a little undercooked, and I don't want to get salmonella.' * Her: 'People don't get salmonella from chicken. They get it from salmon.'" -Cruise Critic member footzz

In that case, we'll have our eggs cooked rare, thank you.

Angry but ill-informed travelers often don't realize that their complaints are ridiculous ... and hilarious to those who overhear them.

*"I am very angry with your cruise line. I incurred many expenses because your ship did not allow my husband and I [sic] to enter the ship together with 3 other families. We stayed behind in an island with no money or credit cards."  * -Consumer Affairs complaint

We do hope she scraped together enough funds to at least buy a watch during her island stay.

*"I was not allowed to utilize the gym because of wearing a shoe called 'Crocs,' which the staff considered flip-flops. I had no tennis shoes available. I found no tennis shoes onboard for sale. One of the reasons I accepted this cruise with my wife was that I would be able to use the gym."  * -Consumer Affairs complaint

Book a cruise to use the gym. Leave your sneakers at home. What could possibly go wrong?

"They took our wine coolers and beer." -Consumer Affairs complaint

Bummer. We were pretty upset when they told us we couldn't bring our pet elephant onboard.

"We were in line at guest services behind a man who was screaming about a bill for over $2,000 on his sign and sail card. Most of the charges were from the spa for beauty treatments and massages. He said, 'No my wife never used a credit card, she only showed them her room key and they gave the services to her. My card is the one we used to charge drinks and things.'"   -Cruise Critic member poolreader

We've heard of similar things happening at the mall if you show your credit card to the cashier.

*"Please be advised that the Carnival Cruise customer who traveled on this cruise found his pants. They were located at home upon arrival." * -Cruise Critic reader

That must've been one long (and breezy) cruise.

*"Overheard on a cruise in Australia. [Says] a passenger exploring the ship: 'Oh, gosh, there's so many crooks and nannies.'" * -Cruise Critic member Embrace

According to news reports we see, plenty of crooks and nannies do sail, but we think they meant to say "nooks and crannies" before those sailaway cocktails kicked in.

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