travel after breakup

After a Breakup, Travel Is Sometimes the Only Answer

By Megan Spurrell

When her relationship ended in September of last year, Leah Castillo knew she had to get out of San Luis Obispo, California. Her apartment was littered with reminders of a recent string of belly-up relationships—including the woman who, she’d just discovered, had been with someone else. She moved out of her apartment, packed up her Mitsubishi Outlander, and headed to Zion National Park .

“There were reminders of my heartbreak everywhere and I was left pretty broken. I felt extremely undesirable, my self-worth had taken a hit, and I could not escape the insecurity and doubt I had about myself,” says Castillo. “I couldn't stay where I was and heal properly. But I knew that if I was in some desolate canyon in Utah , my past experiences would be nowhere to be found.” She began a two-month journey through the American Southwest , where she camped in national parks , taught herself how to fly fish , and angry-cried as she drove her car across the desert.

Cutting your hair, quitting your job, moving cities—trying to reclaim a sense of control after a break up is a common reaction when life is flipped upside down. It's no wonder, then, that travel has long been an appealing coping mechanism. It offers the separation of routine, new connections, and, importantly, a chance to focus on the self. Love it or loathe it, there’s a reason Eat, Pray, Love struck a chord with so many.

But what role can travel really play in the healing process?

“After a breakup, you're going through withdrawal—the dopamine, the oxytocin, the serotonin, all those hormones that love produces for you are no longer there,” says Kathleen Hendrik Ebbitt, a New York City-based therapist in the Alma network who moved to Mexico City following her own breakup two years ago. “It's a really scary space to be in, to need to acclimate to what the brain is when you're no longer in love. One reason that I think travel can be really great after a breakup is that it can stimulate your brain and encourage new connections within your cerebral matter.”

Those benefits begin before you even leave home, experts say. Not only is there distraction in putting together your great escape, but it offers a more practical reason to stop sifting through the wreckage of the split and begin thinking about what comes next. “When you are in the pain and darkness of a separation, people get very stuck in the past,” says Amy Chan, a former relationship columnist and founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp retreats, which take place in upstate New York and California . “[People] go into spirals of what should have happened, what shouldn’t have happened, and that’s what really keeps them stuck. Travel can be helpful because you put something in the calendar to look forward to. That shift of focus gives a little bit of hope.”

Florence Williams, author of the forthcoming book HEARTBREAK , which explores the science of a broken heart—a journey she went on following the dissolution of her 25-year-marriage—says that planning allows you to take a breather from your emotions. “Psychologists have shown that [planning] engages your frontal cortex and thinking brain, and you get out of your emotional brain for a little while.”

This switching of gears was a benefit that Castillo noticed right away once she hit the road. “When you're traveling, you can't really go on autopilot like at home,” she says. “I would be crying and then I'd have to stop and think, Okay, where am I sleeping tonight? What happens if my tire blows out in the middle of nowhere? How am I going to get WiFi?”

Anyone who’s sat in the muck of a heartbreak can appreciate that relief—even a momentary release from the grip of unanswered questions and the relentless inspection of memories for answers is precious. But distraction will only get you so far, says Chan, who leaned into yoga retreats following a gut-wrenching breakup of her own before founding Renew: You don’t want to just “procrastinate your pain.” The idea of a whirlwind European train trip that sucks up every minute of your attention, for example, might sound great, but the quiet moments, where you’re left staring out the window and forced to return to your thoughts, are where progress can happen.

“In a breakup it’s important to really ask yourself: Am I using the full capacity of my brain and not just having this knee jerk response to escape a situation which is painful?” says Hendrik Ebbitt. “There’s a lot of romanticism around travel—[instead] think about intention and expectation and really look at travel as a healing tool.”

Maybe that means intentionally taking a trip outside your comfort zone, where the stimulation of newness and the opportunity to make decisions can be empowering. For San Francisco-based Alexa Ford, a breakup at age 21 led her to spontaneously apply for a solo hiking permit on the Nüümü Poyo in California, also known as the John Muir Trail. She hiked it across 13 days—her first backpacking trip , ever. “I had no gear, I had never been backpacking, and I was terrified of mountain lions,” she says. “But it took three months to get ready, which was the best distraction after a hard breakup. And there really is no medicine like walking by yourself for 210 miles with some good tunes and a self-help podcast.”

Some travelers might not be comfortable going it alone, but planning a trip on your own terms, even if it’s closer to home or with friends, can help restore a sense of self-agency and identity often lost during a breakup. “What’s at the core of a heartbreak is that your identity gets shaken up—it profoundly affects your self-esteem and your sense of self,” says Williams. “Who are you without this person, especially if it’s been a long relationship? The power of travel speaks to so many things you need to address in order to feel better. You can have self-agency, you’re not just someone things happen to.”

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Taking a trip that you’ve called the shots on can help you reacquaint yourself with who you are, she says. And if you’re the one who’s done the leaving? It can be a powerful way to remind yourself that you did the right thing, because you have a strong sense of what you want to be doing—and who you want to be doing it with.

© Monique Aimee

For Hendrik Ebbitt, part of what drew her to Mexico City after her relationship ended was wanting to be in a space where she wasn’t speaking English , nor familiar with her environment. “In a lot of ways I wanted to allow my brain to go into a different terrain in order to better focus on healing,” she says. “I also felt proud that I was doing something which seemed brave.”

While this approach worked for Ebbitt, she says many of her patients worry about getting off track. “The primary thing that women going through breakups are experiencing, I think, have to do with identity politics—who they are, who they want to be,” says Hendrik Ebbitt. “Particularly with younger people I work with, people are getting married later, if at all, having children later, if at all. People are grappling with this ideology we’ve been fed as to who we should be as women, so in addition to the grieving process, [you’re thinking about] not having the same capacity to meet those societal benchmarks that we’ve internalized as steps into womanhood.”

Concerns about a breakup, like having to restart aspects of your life, being out of time, somehow falling behind, is what Chan says is the most universal sentiment echoed by women who arrive at her retreats—whether they’re in their 30s or 70s.

“Our culture really reinforces [a perceived] disability of older women, and their sexual lack of viability,” says Williams. “And it’s just this huge amount of bullshit. You’re not too old to have fun, you’re not too old to have adventures, you’re not too old to find deep meaning and beauty and fulfillment in relationships of all flavors.” It’s important to put yourself in situations where you can be reminded of those things, she says.

It should come as no surprise that a post-breakup trip won’t always be pretty. You might, like Castillo, find yourself screaming out of frustration in the privacy of your car, in the middle of nowhere in Utah, only to realize that the windows are cracked and your campsite neighbors definitely heard. Ford, meanwhile, left her fair share of tears on the Nüümü Poyo. But the real beauty is in experiencing these moments, and coming out the other side. Travel is, after all, meant to move us. It can put our everyday lives in perspective, and make our problems, even if just temporarily, feel like drops in the ocean.

“There's nothing like travel to remind us that we live in a big world and we're a small part of it,” says Williams. “No matter which side of heartbreak you’re on, you're going to be dealing with a lot of emotions, like guilt, or rejection. And those emotions are important to feel but it's also important to have some perspective so that they don't take over everything. A loss of ego is really helpful.”

For Castillo, her breakthrough moment came one night in the middle of a thunderstorm in the Gila National Forest, New Mexico, at a dark sky reserve. “I was having a pretty rough day, stuck in my thoughts, and I got caught in this intense storm—thunder was shaking my car, lightning was striking every two seconds, but I was stuck and all I could do was watch,” she recalls. “When the storm finally passed, I stepped outside. The air was electric from the lightning and there was the most insane blanket of stars that I've ever seen in my life. I felt lucky to just be standing there, alive and healthy, and to be able to travel to see things. And I thought, Yeah, I’m going to be okay.”

Here’s How & Why You Should Turn to Travel After a Breakup

By: Author Sophie Nadeau

Posted on Last updated: 21st March 2023

Categories Inspiration

Last Updated on 21st March 2023 by Sophie Nadeau

Close to two years ago, I sat down and wrote ‘ Can travel ever help heal a broken heart? ‘ Twenty-four months later and, while I’m still blogging, I’m almost entirely sure that travel can, indeed, mend a broken heart, albeit not in the way you might imagine. Here’s how and why you should turn to travel after a breaku p (as well as some ideas on where you should venture to!)

Editor’s note: It’s now 2023, and I think everyone will agree with me when I say *what* a past few years we’ve all had. 2020 has made many re-evaluate their lives in a way they never had to before and, ultimately, what they want to do with them, and that includes romantic interests and partners.

I know of more than one couple who broke up after the stress of 2020 and 2021. But with the world opening back up again, it’s once more fair to say that travelling after a breakup (with a job, friend, or partner) is a valid way to renew the way you see the world and get a new perspective on things.

Back in September of 2019, I broke up with my second ever long-term boyfriend. We met merely weeks after my first long-term breakup and while he’s a pretty great guy, things were not meant to be.

We wanted different things out of life, let alone the fact that we literally wanted to live in different countries and had entirely different interests!

Thanks to this blog ( which is also my full-time job ) , I was lucky enough to pack up my things and quite literally move to another country ( I moved to Paris ). With this being said, this is obviously not feasible for most people (never mind the fact that I had quite literally been saving for my move for the two years prior) .

As such, even just a short escape  (such as a day trip or weekend break to a nearby city or town) can be just as healing in of itself. After all as ‘they’ often say “it’s the journey and not the destination that counts” . Well, if you’ve just gone through a breakup, then I feel you!

It’s a long and hard journey ahead, with the ultimate destination unclear. One minute you’re planning on spending your life with the other person, the next you’re facing the unknown alone…

However, whether you plan to jet off to a far-flung destination or simply hop on a train for a short day trip to the next town over (much better for the environment and your bank account!), both are just as valid forms of travel as one another and both will ultimately help you heal.

Planning will give you something to look forward to

You find yourself again, you can give yourself a chance to heal outside of your usual routine, you’ll be pushed out of your comfort zone, a word of warning…, montréal, canada, paris, france, amsterdam, the netherlands, italy (literally anywhere in italy), a south of france adventure, enjoyed reading about how (and why) you should turn to travel after a breakup pin this article now, read it again later:, here’s why you should travel after a breakup.

The worst thing about going through a breakup is undoubtedly the nagging voice in the back of your head. Whether that’s considering whether you ‘should’ have broken up or pondering the ‘what ifs’ of the situation, planning your next adventure will give you something to look forward to, as well as help take your mind off things.

If you’re planning a trip, especially if that voyage is to go it alone, then chances are you’ll start to rediscover what you do/ don’t like outside of the scope of having to consider someone else’s needs and wants.

No matter how much we tell ourselves that we’ll ‘remain ourselves’ throughout the course of a relationship, relationships are undoubtedly about compromise.

Travelling will allow you to discover exactly what you like and dislike, particularly when you’re forced away from your usual routine and automatic decision making processes.

So whether you fancy perusing a museum, simply getting lost together with a camera, or going out on the town with a bunch of new friends, take the time being on your own to discover what you personally want out of life. After all, we only get one shot!

When you’re at home, chances are you’re constantly being reminded of the person you just ended things with. Even the smallest of events/ places can trigger a memory. That bar you went for a date night in, the walking trail you took the dog out on.

The simple fact of changing scenery can liven up your day and show you the bigger picture as opposed to wallowing in your [negative] thoughts.

Furthermore, being away from your typical environment will give you a chance to consider what you truly and genuinely want. For example, do you miss the person or the comfort of having that person there?

When travelling, we’re forced to make decisions and see things in an entirely different light or way. You have to change your ways of doing things and are thus entirely pushed out of your comfort zone, which in turn may well prove to yourself that you’re much more capable than you previously thought.

If you’re planning on travelling after a breakup, then the most important piece of advice I would give you is this: just because you’re going away won’t mean that all your feelings will suddenly disappear. You’ll still be yourself, albeit in a different situation and location.

Give yourself permission to grieve and don’t feel guilty if you think about your ex. However, I would personally cut off all contact during your trip. Your feelings will still be intense and you may not like the answer you receive. Instead, give yourself some space to think, heal, and consider what you really want from life.

Here’s where to travel alone after a breakup!

I’ve always been a big fan of solo travel ( here’s a guide to help you get started with solo travel ) and there is perhaps no better time to explore this option than when you’re fresh out of a relationship. When my now ex boyfriend broke up with me, I personally headed out on a hiking trail near where I lived and went to discover some Neolithic ruins I’d never seen before.

Simply getting out of the house and getting a little travel experience was great for helping to put things in perspective while I planned out my next steps and figured out what to do in the weeks following (as well as to keep my mind distracted from things). With this being said, here are some of my favourite solo destinations:

Hands down, one of my favourite cities in North America (and perhaps the one I’d most like to live in if I were to ever leave Europe) is that of Montréal.

Situated in the French Canadian region of Quebec, the people are friendly, the foodie scene is simply wonderful (including plenty of vegan options) , and the art scene is unparalleled.

Perfect for a girls getaway or a solo trip (I’ve experienced both there), the hustle and bustle of the Canadian city will soon capture your imagination and heart in equal measure.

During your stay in the city, I highly recommend booking your accommodation in the Vieux-Montreal district of the city, where many of the main attractions are just a short walk away.

Honestly, the ‘City of Love’ may well not be most people’s destination of choice when it comes to where to travel after a breakup. However, when having a little bit of a love affair with myself, I find nothing more enjoyable than simply soaking up the atmosphere and enjoying the sights of the stunning Hausmannian architecture.

Another bonus of visiting Paris is that it’s easy to take day trips from the city , not to mention that it’s pretty normal to go out for food alone or simply sit in a café for hours on end, simply watching the world go by.

And thanks to a myriad of museums, parks, and historic monuments, there’s no way you can ever be bored during a trip to Paris! For more Wanderlust inspiration, check out my solo guide to Paris .

I know several people who have taken the plunge to travel alone to Amsterdam after a breakup and it’s honestly one of the most friendly capital cities in Europe.

Easy to explore on either foot or via bicycle (my method of choice) thanks to its compactness and relatively flat nature, the historic city is filled with stunning architecture and more museums than perhaps anywhere else in Europe.

Making a great base from which to explore the rest of the Netherlands, in the spring you can even visit the nearby stunning gardens of Keukenhof near Lisse . Otherwise, let yourself get swept away in the beauty of the Dutch capital city, not to mention the excellent foodie options available (even for vegans!)

If I’m totally honest, after France, Italy is one of my favourite countries in the world. And what’s not to like? The history goes back millennia, people are friendly, and best of all, the Italian food and wine is among some of the best in the world!

Some of my favourite Italian destinations (and where I suggest travelling post breakup for the most history, culture, and accommodation options) include Florence (i.e. Firenze) where museums are abundant and the scenery is quite literally breathtaking and the city of Pavia , a tiny university town with a Duomo designed by the hand of Da Vinci, and one of the most beautiful monasteries, the Certosa di Pavia , just a short train ride away.

Known around the world for its lavender fields and breathtaking châteaux scene, the South of France is the kind of place where time simultaneously speeds by and stops.

Wander through villages quite literally frozen in time, sip on rosé in an off the beaten track café, and explore Roman ruins while imagining how the landscape must have appeared two millennia ago. Honestly, if I were to choose just one place to travel after a breakup, it would be a solo adventure in the South of France !

Sophie Nadeau loves dogs, books, travel, pizza, and history. A Francophile at heart, she runs solosophie.com when she’s not chasing after the next sunset shot or consuming something sweet. She splits her time between Paris and London and travels as much as she can! Subscribe to Sophie’s YouTube Channel.

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Wednesday 12th of July 2023

I do hope you had a great trip and are feeling more positive. Being in a similar situation my partner has walked out yet again this has gone on for 7 years back and forth with no real commitment.

I am 41 and he is 56 can’t help feeling I am been strung along. I’ve a spare 10 days before my new job commences, consequently I’ve no car until then and feel trapped in the house.

I have been trying to book this trip for 12 hours! I feel guilty although he has just sent a message goading me saying how life’s so much easier living apart. Well he can’t have his cake and eat it!

I think I am going to grab my visa, thanks for the advice solo Sophie. Xxx

Thursday 6th of April 2023

I am so happy that I’ve found this page. I just got out of a relationship a couple of days ago and have been in an unbearable pain, everything feels so foggy yet so clear. And on this short healing journey, the first thing that crossed my mind when thinking how I could make it a little bit more bearable, was to get the first flight out of here. But at the same time I was scared that it would be some type of an escapism, cause wouldn’t we all want to heal faster and just be done with it already?! And also afraid that I would just sit an wallow as I will be travelling alone. So reading this, makes me believe that I am not that wrong in doing so and I will actually be looking forward to get away for a while :)

6 Destinations to Beat the Post-Breakup Blues

Getting away can present a welcome distraction and the chance to try new things

We’re dedicating our  February features  to romance travel. A destination has the ability to steal our hearts, but many magical and memorable experiences abroad can be closely tied to stories of love. From traveling after a breakup to compromising trip planning with multiple partners and prioritizing individual interests on a couple’s trip , we’ve put together a collection of inspiring stories that display just how closely our romantic relationships relate to our worldwide adventures.

Time might heal all wounds, but let's be real: distance can too. Regardless of if you're battling a romantic breakup or the end of a long friendship, just getting away can present a welcome distraction as well as the chance to try new things, heal, and grow. Even the experts say it works: "Whether you’re exploring new terrain, meeting new people, or simply trying to master a few words in a new language, travel has the potential to boost cognitive functioning,” Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, a sex and relationships expert, told Culture Trip in 2017 .

But not all destinations are created equal—we spoke to a few travelers who mastered the art of post-breakup travel to round up a list of the six best places to mend a broken heart and have some fun along the way.

Jackson, Wyoming

When you're surrounded by wildlife and some of the most stunning scenery in the U.S., it's hard to be too sad. A hotspot for the jet-set, Jackson offers the perfect balance of outdoor activities and leisure with a surprisingly robust dining and nightlife scene.

With 200 miles of trails, avid hikers can spend their entire trip alone with their thoughts in Grand Teton National Park , while wintertime visitors can shred on the more than 120 named trails at Jackson Hole Mountain Resort.

At the end of the day, warm up from the chilly mountain air at The Rose , the town's first speakeasy-style bar, a brainchild of Jackson native David Kaplan and Alex Days, owners of Death & Co., the famed Manhattan bar. You'll find a lively bar scene with a mix of locals and visitors.

Sedona, Arizona

Courtesy of L'Auberge

A long-standing popular destination known for its stunning red rock vistas and a vibrant arts community, Sedona is the perfect spot to heal a broken heart.

Red Rock State Park is full of trails that wind through canyon walls and pine forests, creating great opportunities for picnicking or birdwatching. Meanwhile, the popularity of this destination means you'll never have to worry about hitting the trail solo—a huge plus for safety-concerned family and friends.

If you need a bit of sybaritic healing to rest your aching muscles (and heart), Sedona is home to some of the best spas and resorts in the country. A stay at the famed L'Auberge de Sedona includes a cozy, lodge-style room, as well as a rotating schedule of activities, ranging from nature talks to photography lessons. When you're ready to hit the spa, L'Apothecary's wide range of treatments, from massages to facials, are inspired by Sedona's natural beauty and rely on local botanicals from the area.

San Francisco, California

Eric Clapton sang about the San Francisco Bay Blues, but you'll be anything but blue after some alone time in the Golden City.

With a mild climate year-round, the city is excellent for roaming and wandering without a specific itinerary—start your day snapping sunrise photos at the picturesque Palace of Fine Arts before hopping on a sightseeing cruise or watching the San Francisco Giants play at Oracle Park.

Then, sample some of the area's culinary delights at the famed Ferry Building or ride a cable car to North Beach, the city's Italian neighborhood, where you can enjoy a big bowl of cioppino at local stalwart Sotto Mare . (Plus, the friendly bar service will take the sting out of dining alone.)

If you need some literary inspiration, nearby City Lights is one of the most revered bookstores in the country, selling thousands of titles since its founding by beat poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti in 1953.

Nashville, Tennessee

If music and booze sound like the best way to cure heartache, book your ticket to Nashville. This hip Southern city boasts excellent restaurants, dazzling new hotels (plus a few classics ), and enough entertainment and nightlife to fill weeks on end.

Sing your heart out at the famed Ryman Auditorium , which celebrates its 130th anniversary in 2022, or catch a show at the Grand Ole Opry before heading to Corsair Distillery , Nashville's first since prohibition, for a tasting of their award-winning whiskeys. The distillery, which has two locations in town, also makes excellent pot-distilled gin if the brown stuff isn't to your liking.

Finally, sample some of the cuisine Nashville is known for. You can't go wrong with long-standing favorites like Prince's Hot Chicken Shack . Still, newer eateries, like Lou , a low-key, natural wine bar serving California-inspired cuisine, are turning pre-conceived notions about the Music City on their head.

Barcelona, Spain

Lace up your walking shoes, as there are few cities better for aimlessly wandering than Barcelona .

Start your trip by walking around the Gothic Quarter and El Born, where seemingly endless alleyways flanked by historical buildings will draw you in. You'll also find some of the best restaurants and watering holes are hidden down these little paths—perfect for making new friends, trying new foods, and indulging Priorat, the heady red wine from the nearby eponymous region.

Architecture buffs may enjoy strolling between the city's many Antoni Gaudí-designed buildings. The famed architect's playful Catalan modernism is on full display throughout the city—you can't miss La Sagrada Familia . Still, Casa Batlló is equally breathtaking, as is the lesser-known Casa Vicens.

Train Travel

Want to spend a month riding the rails from place to place? Amtrak's surprisingly affordable USA Rail Pass offers the chance to do just that. For $499, rail-pass users have 120 days to use 10 segments onboard Amtrak trains.

The possibilities are truly endless—ride Amtrak's Coast Starlight line between Seattle and Los Angeles before hopping on the Sunset Limited from L.A. to New Orleans. Then, if you're still not sated by a thorough dose of Americana, head north on the Crescent line , which runs between New York and the Big Easy.

The days onboard are long for sure, but being alone with your thoughts, a good book or journal, and stunning scenery sounds like a cathartic way to say goodbye to love lost.

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"I haven't been everywhere, but it's on my list" - Susan Sontag

Why Travel is the Best Thing to do After a Breakup

So, should you travel after a breakup how can travel help you heal from a breakup after some reflection and consideration, there were 13 distinct ways i found that travel helped me heal, and they are ways that will help you heal from a breakup too. they also exemplify why travel is one of the best things to do after a breakup and several things you do along the way that promote healing..

You know that stereotype about lesbians? Yeah, of course you do. They get super attached and want to get married just a few months ( or days… ) into a relationship? Maybe they move in together, get engaged, whatever. Everyone does, right? Well, what happens when that relationship ends…? *cue rapid Googling of “how to heal after a breakup,” “stages of grief after a breakup,” and “best things to do after a breakup”*

I’ll admit, my story doesn’t look exactly like that. I was a senior in high school when I started dating my ex, and we grew very attached to each other. Despite attending separate colleges, we stayed together and spoke every day. Like, excessively spoke every day. Looking back, it was very unhealthy. To be fair, I wasn’t in the best state of mind through most of it, but it still shook me to my core when it ended my first semester of sophomore year. It’s hard to put into words how difficult this was, but keep in mind it was my first everything. We made all the silly little promises that we all think we can keep when we are young. Make some sense now?

I barely kept it together that semester. With the help of some absolutely amazing (and I do mean amazing) friends and family, I functioned and tried to move on. I went through every single stage of grief (yes, grief applies outside of death), from denial, begging, and needing answers to fear, loneliness, and bargaining. I eventually moved on to acceptance, but I was never truly “at peace” or forgiving, which helps with true healing. I thought I might stay in that limbo forever because of how static I felt. An exemplary reason self love after a breakup is so important.

Studying abroad had always been on my radar (even if I didn’t intend for it to be traveling after a breakup), and I almost missed the chance because of my mental state during this period. I missed deadlines, I hemmed and hawed. There were multiple points where I thought it would be a waste to go. And honestly, I was afraid. I was afraid of being alone, afraid I wouldn’t find companions, afraid of being away from family and friends (the only way I was staying sane). Luckily, after an epiphany, emotion regulation, some loopholes, and help, I finalized studying abroad in Maynooth, Ireland the next semester. And, wow, I’m glad I pushed through to get there.

Studying abroad was my first step in traveling alone. I had been abroad with my parents before, but being in a foreign country, knowing no one, and being thousands of miles away from loved ones is completely different. And it’s exactly what I needed to help me move on once and for all.

I think it’s exactly what a lot of people need to move on once and for all.

P. S. Excuse the quality of photo… many of these (you can tell) were taken with a (very) old iPhone, but the captions were too good not to include. Moving on. Oh, and yes. These are all mine even if they don’t have watermarks. It’s a new thing. ( Thanks to all the people out there who take images without permission or payment. )

No one knows you. Because no one knows you, you can create a persona – any persona!

It turns out, there’s some truth to the “fake it till you make it” quote. Forcing yourself to talk to people helps actually be comfortable talking to people! There’s a scientific explanation behind this phenomenon – basically, you create new wiring in your head and every time you do something small where the wiring didn’t exist before, a new little string appears! You must keep adding to the strings (i. e. talking to people, getting outside) to help the wiring stay and become big and strong. Sounds like a pretty fun thing to do after a breakup if I do say so myself.

For example, I pretended I was a more confident version of the devasted squirrel (yup.) I had become. Over time, I knew I could handle more and more – I started in English speaking countries, sticking to tourist areas. Then, Spanish-speaking countries where I knew a little bit and explored lesser-known cities. Then, I took the dive into places like Poland and the Balkans where I didn’t speak the language or have much direction. But that little bit of “fake confidence” helped push me that far. If I hadn’t taken the leap to travel after a breakup, who knows where I would be with it.

Making friends and meeting people

Specifically, these are friends that haven’t seen you at your worst. Sometimes having friends that you can just travel with can be a big help because they aren’t worried about you . Of course, friends that know you well, have helped you through tough times, and care about you are wonderful and beneficial, but sometimes all you need is time to remove yourself from the grief and familiarities of home. Having “travel friends” or meeting people in new destinations is one of the best things to do after a breakup because it can help build confidence to get you through hard times; you won’t constantly be dependent on others to get you out of the grief that is so common after a breakup. You have the freedom (and ability) to do it solo! Again I encourage you – travel after a breakup!

I love my friends, and again, they were beyond helpful. But having a friend that didn’t have to take care of me or make sure I didn’t fall apart helped me address those short comings in myself. In a way, this act is a great form of self love after a breakup.

Breaks up the monotony of “normal” life

Is there a tv show you always watched together? Maybe a favorite restaurant, song, or even grocery store? Choosing to travel after a breakup can give you peace and quiet from those constant reminders of normal things you “used to do.” Instead of driving past your special place, you’ll be trekking in a foreign country (or city) with new sights and experiences to set off the pleasant dopamine release you used to feel. Seriously, one of the best things to do after a breakup is release that wonderful dopamine. You simply won’t have time to worry about the new episode of that tv show! And you’ll be eating such delicious cuisine, you won’t care about that restaurant anymore.

Furthermore, you can turn your phone off to receive these benefits to the full extent – instead of getting excited about a text or phone call, you’ll be getting excited about your next adventure. (see #12 for more reasons no/little phone is beneficial)

Planning trips (or a trip) makes you feel bad-a** and capable

Buying all those tickets, planning when and where you’ll go, choosing where to stay, what to eat… all of those decisions are YOURS to make when you travel after a breakup, and it makes you feel so accomplished when you go through this process. Plus, you get fun out of it at the end! Talk about a boost in self-esteem, eh? You don’t have to travel solo and take on these responsibilities, but I think solo travel is one of the best things to do after a breakup because of that self-esteem boost.

Reinvigorated excitement about life

Traveling after a breakup will reintroduce the rush of pleasure humans love about life. You’ll be excited for new places – and that might be your lifeline at the beginning. You can plan for hours on end, research things to do, places to stay, (vegan) spots to eat at, and more. You. Will. Thrive .

Honestly, even if you don’t travel or plan to travel, try organizing or planning something else. Planning is one of the best things to do after a breakup because it gives you focus.

This reinvigoration was how it was for me – the research and planning are some things I genuinely enjoy to this day, but it was all that kept me afloat at the beginning.

You become comfortable being alone

If your breakup is anything like mine, you became dependent on others. There was a point where my friend actually had to bring me protein bars to class to make sure I ate. I had to call my mom between classes. I spiraled, but I didn’t need to be that person anymore. I didn’t want to be. (see #7 about independence)

Travelling after a breakup helps you see a little more clearly and removing this dependence (you may choose a different word) will lead to more doors opening for you – such as being alone, but not lonely. You can be alone in a hostel room, on a city bus, or wandering cobblestone streets. At first, you may feel utterly lonely in these situations because you don’t have another person to enjoy – but once you become comfortable, that loneliness isn’t so strong. One of the best things to do after a breakup is trying to enjoy your own company and savor the little moments. ( Heck, you can even cry if you so choose! No one can judge you when you are comfortable being alone! And if they do, who cares!)

Your independence is accelerated

For some, getting a job or going off to college creates independence; however, it’s hard to feel fully independent until you are thrust into a foreign country or city knowing no one. When you travel, especially alone, independence must grow. Of course, you turned to friends and family at times, but you don’t rely on them for everything (or even many things) like you used to. You make your own fun, your own food, your own everything. Working on your independence is one of the best things to do after a breakup because you will be less likely to bounce from poor relationship to poor relationship.

The excitement of seeing new places helps you address (social) anxiety

Traveling after a breakup forces you into situations that are inherently anxiety provoking for many people. So, unless you want to sit in your lodging for your whole trip or fly back home ( I mean, valid and no judgement – but I encourage you to try 😊), then you will slowly be able to manage your anxiety. It’s unlikely it will disappear forever, but just like creating a persona, new wiring will be fostered. And remember, new wiring is an important thing to do after a breakup.

Maybe it’s just me, but I have severe social and general anxiety. The anxiety pre-dated my relationship, but it was made worse from fear of rejection and so many other issues that come with a break-up. In order to see those magical sights as a traveler, I had to figure out how to feel my feelings, but not let them control me.

Traveling might help you re-evaluate what you want

Wanting kids, buying a house, staying in one place your whole life. All valid choices to make, but who is to say that’s what you actually want? Traveling after a breakup can help clarify those decisions – maybe you’ll even realize the relationship was never what it should’ve been and likely would have never been. For many people, traveling just once helps them realize they don’t want to be tied down – at least not in the ways they thought. This clarity is one of the best things you can do for yourself after a breakup.

For me, it helped me realize how flawed the relationship was anyway. We wanted completely different things, and while we could’ve made it work, would it have been worth it to live such different lives? I wanted to travel, and I almost didn’t even study abroad because of the relationship. I can’t imagine what future decisions would have looked like.

Traveling after a breakup will help you realize it was for the best

Don’t get me wrong, a breakup still hurts! But traveling after a breakup can help you realize that breaking up was the smart decision that will make you happier in the long run. Maybe it was an unhealthy situation, you wanted different things, or many you just weren’t happy. Heck, maybe it was the best relationship you’ve ever had, and that’s one reason it’s so hard to heal from. But traveling has a way of clarifying things – if you broke up, the relationship wasn’t the greatest thing ever. And you were saved who knows how much heartache if it had continued further.

Oh, and those of you who think “ But they were the love of my life! ” – if they were the love of your life, they would still be in your life. It might not feel like it now, but just wait.

For example, I realized how grateful I was that she ended the relationship. I thought our “little” problems were fixable and we would live happily ever after. But when I was traveling, I realized my mental health was getting progressively worse in the relationship, and I don’t know that I would have gotten help without clearing my head this way. recognizing problems: another one of the best things to do after a breakup!

Travelling after a breakup helps you find a passion and drive

Like I mentioned, for some people their passion becomes travel. But perhaps, traveling will lead you to something else – SCUBA diving! Writing! Driving buses! Operating ziplines! ( Hey, I don’t know what you choose to do on your travels – anything is possible. ) Maybe you even realize a house, kids, and steady job is exactly what you want – that’s okay too. Traveling after a breakup helps you heal because you realize you can do anything and be anything. You are worthy. You mean something. You can make a difference. Travel helps you get your confidence back (which I’m sure you’ve gathered), therefore it’s what? One of the best things to do after a breakup, that’s right.

Kick the habit of “reaching out”

I implemented the “no contact” rule prior to leaving the USA, but if you are having trouble with that step, traveling after a breakup will help you kick those habits of reaching out. Missing your ex and wanting company, the bargaining stage of grief, etc. It can all (mostly) be avoided by removing yourself from situations that make it easier to relapse into earlier stages of grief (i. e. having constant service). So, best thing to do after a breakup? Don’t reach out! Even if you leave the country to achieve it 🙂

Keep the memories at bay

This benefit is similar to #3, but it goes a step further. Removing yourself from familiar situations can help keep memories at bay until you are ready to face them. If you stay home, you would undoubtedly have thoughts like “I remember when we did *this* here.” However, traveling after a breakup allows you to keep those thoughts at bay until you are ready to revisit them.

Furthermore, you’ll be forced to smile for pictures. Tragic, right? Scientifically speaking, smiling releases hormones that make you happier. So, traveling will help keep the memories at bay because you’ll be so darn happy fake smiling! Smiling is a great thing to do after a breakup, even if it’s fake! Hey, there’s that fake it ‘til you make it again…

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32 thoughts on “why travel is the best thing to do after a breakup”.

YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!! Especially the meeting new friends bit. Seriously, some of the people I’ve randomly come across on my travels still keep in touch with me! Travel has the potential to create some pretty unbreakable bonds – it’s very healing to make new connections, at least for me!

Awwheee, thank you! So glad to hear this resonated with you. New connections are so scary for me, but often worth it!!

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7 Trips to Take After a Breakup to Heal the Soul

By: Author Tiana Thompson

Posted on Last updated: March 7, 2023

Categories Solo travel , Travel Guides

Home » 7 Trips to Take After a Breakup to Heal the Soul

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We’ve all been there:

A relationship comes to an end, and we’re left feeling heartbroken, lost, and confused. A part of you feels like it’s missing, like you’re only half of a person, like it feels impossible to imagine moving on.

But the truth is, (and I know I’m not the first person to tell you this), you don’t need someone else to complete you; you are whole just the way you are.

And although the pain of a breakup can feel overwhelming, there are ways to heal your broken heart, learn to love and appreciate yourself, and even find happiness again.

Travel is one of those ways.

A few years ago, after the abrupt end of a four-year relationship, I was admittedly feeling quite lost.

Everything that I had imagined my life to look like suddenly didn’t exist anymore.

The future plans I had made in my head were no longer relevant, and I was struggling to figure out who I was without that other person I had spent so much of my time with.

I tried to fill the void by throwing myself into my work, going out to bars with friends, and buying things to try and make myself happy – but that only led to burnout, hangovers, and ultimately more heartache.

And so, I decided to take some time for myself; to heal my broken heart and rediscover who I was.

I decided to take the plunge and book my first international trip to the destination I’d always dreamed of visiting.

I packed my bags, quit my job, and took myself on a solo trip to Thailand . And although it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it was also one of the most transformative experiences of my life.

I learned to be independent and self-reliant; two qualities that are essential not only for happiness, but for success in any area of life. I also learned to love myself again and appreciate all that I have to offer as an individual.

Yes, introverts can solo travel too . Who knew?!

It even ultimately led me to be confident enough to take the leap to move abroad alone and live in a foreign country , where I still am 3 years later – but that’s a story for another time.

Although I can’t promise that traveling will magically heal your broken heart, I do believe it’s one of the best ways to start the process.

If you’re feeling lost after a heartbreak, here are 7 trips to take after a breakup that will help you to heal your soul and discover yourself again:

7 Trips to Take After A Breakup to Heal your Soul

The solo trip.

A solo trip is the number one way to rediscover yourself and figure out who you are without the influence of others – and solo travel is hands-down one of the best trips to take after a breakup.

After a breakup, it can be difficult to remember who you are and what you want in life. This is your chance to take some time for yourself and figure it all out.

It’s the one and only time you’re guaranteed to get 100% of your own attention, with no distractions. You’re forced to get out of your comfort zone, try new things, and meet new people.

You learn to rely on yourself and to trust your gut instinct.

You’ll have no choice but to sit with your thoughts and feelings, to process the breakup and figure out what you want for your future.

The feelings that you’ve been trying so hard to run away from will finally catch up to you, but it’s in these moments of vulnerability that true healing can begin.

And although it can be scary at first, there’s also something incredibly empowering about being in a new place all by yourself. When everything is stripped away and it’s just you against the world, you quickly realize how strong and capable you truly are.

You’ll quickly learn that you are capable of handling anything life throws your way.

And most importantly, you learn that you can be happy even when you’re by yourself – something that is so essential to remember after a breakup.

A solo trip is one of the most transformative experiences you can have , and there’s no better time to do it than after a breakup.

The nature trip

If you’re looking to connect with yourself and nature, there’s no better way to do it than by going on a nature trip.

Spend some time in the woods, go hiking or camping, and immerse yourself in the beauty of the natural world.

Allow yourself to disconnect from technology and social media, and take some time to reconnect with yourself. Listen to your thoughts, reflect on your emotions, and let the peace and tranquility of nature wash away your heartache.

You don’t have to go far; even a weekend camping trip can do wonders for your soul.

Spending time alone with nature truly reminds us of how small we are in the grand scheme of things, and helps us to put our problems into perspective.

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget what’s truly important in life. A nature trip will help you to remember what’s important and what you’re fighting for.

It will give you the strength and courage to face the world head-on and to continue moving forward even when it feels like everything is against you.

You may even find that you have a new appreciation for life after spending some time surrounded by the beauty of nature! We often forget how therapeutic nature can be, but it really is one of the best medicines for a broken heart.

The adventure trip

An adventure trip is an essential post-breakup experience and a way to get out of your comfort zone and push yourself to try new things. The best things happen when you step outside of your comfort zone, so this is the perfect opportunity to do just that.

Whether you go sky diving, bungee jumping, or rock climbing, the goal is to push yourself both physically and mentally. It’s a chance to discover what you’re truly capable of and to test your limits.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Tiana • Where Tiana Travels (@tianabaaaby)

And what better way to do that than by going on an adventure trip after a breakup?

Allow yourself to let loose and have some fun. Release your inhibitions, jump into the unknown, and embrace the adventure. Reconnect with yourself and remember what it feels like to truly live.

Try new experiences and activities that maybe you’ve always wanted to try, but never had the chance to.

An adventure trip is the perfect way to rediscover yourself and your passions in life. These experiences will help you to see life from a different perspective and appreciate all that it has to offer.

And who knows, you may even find that you like yourself a little bit more after doing something that scares you.

The cultural trip

A cultural trip is an excellent way to learn about new cultures and expand your worldview. And after a relationship has ended, it can be eye-opening to see how other people live their lives.

Cultural trips can help to broaden your perspective and open your mind to new possibilities. After a breakup, it’s so important to remember that there are other people in the world living completely different lives than your own.

A cultural trip can be a humbling experience, and it’s a great way to learn more about yourself and the world around you.

And sometimes, it makes us realize how lucky we truly are.

          View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by WHERE TIANA TRAVELS (@tianabaaaby)

On a cultural trip, you’ll have the opportunity to travel to a country that’s completely different from your own, immerse yourself in the culture, learn new customs, try new foods, and learn about different ways of life.

You’ll have a first-hand view of how other people live, and you may even find that you have more in common with people from other cultures than you realized.

At the very least, you’ll come away from a cultural trip with a greater understanding and appreciation for other cultures. And who knows, you may even find a new place to call home.

The service trip

If you’re looking for a trip that will give you a sense of purpose and make you feel good, a service trip is the best choice for some serious soul-searching. There are so many different ways to get involved , whether you’re helping to build homes, teaching English, or working in a soup kitchen.

On a service trip, you’ll be able to give back to those who are less fortunate than you and make a difference in the world. And at the same time, you’ll be helping yourself to heal by doing something good for others.

You don’t even have to leave the country to make a difference – there are plenty of opportunities to volunteer in your own community.

A service trip is a great way to get out of your own head and focus on something bigger than yourself. It’s an opportunity to forget about your problems and give back to the world. Something so small and insignificant to you can mean the world to someone else.

And in the process, you just might find that you have a lot more to offer than you realized.

The luxury trip

Sometimes, the best way to heal after a breakup is to treat yourself to a little luxury!

If you’re feeling down in the dumps post-breakup, there’s nothing wrong with splurging on a fancy hotel room, getting a massage, or eating at a nice restaurant (or all of the above!).

Seriously, retail therapy is real, and it can be very therapeutic.

A luxury trip is a great way to pamper yourself and remind yourself that you deserve the best.

After a breakup, you might feel like you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve to be happy. But that’s not true! You are worthy of love and happiness, and you deserve to treat yourself well.

Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel good, and don’t be afraid to spend a little extra money on yourself.

Often times, we spend so much time giving to others in our relationships that we forget to even take care of ourselves. A luxury trip is the perfect opportunity to do that. Take some time for yourself and indulge in a little pampering. It’ll make you feel good, and it’ll help you to relax and de-stress.

You deserve to show yourself some love, and give yourself a much-needed confidence boost. After all, there’s nothing like a little R&R to make you feel like your old self again.

So #treatyoself , girl!

The girls trip

If you’re struggling to see the silver lining after a breakup, there’s nothing like spending some time with your best friends to remind you that life is still good.

Seriously, this might actually the best medicine for a lovesick heart and one of the best kinds of trips to take after a breakup.

There’s nothing like a girls (or guys) trip to take your mind off of things and help you to remember that you’re still young, wild, and free.

Go out, have some fun, and let your hair down. It’ll do you some good!

A girls trip is the perfect opportunity to let loose and have a good time. It’s a chance to take your mind off of your ex and remember that you’re still an independent, kick-ass human being!

Plan a trip with your closest friends, and let yourself relax and have some fun. Focus on spending time with the people who matter most to you and create new memories that will last a lifetime.

A day spent with your besties is sure to chase away the blues.

The bottom line

When you’re going through a tough breakup, it’s important to do something that will make you feel better.

Taking a trip is a great way to get away from your everyday life and clear your head, and it can also be a great opportunity to learn more about yourself and the world around you.

Not only do you get to see the world, experience new cultures, make new friends or make new memories with your current ones, but travel can also help you to learn more about yourself and what you want out of life, especially in relationships.

When you’re in a new place, without the familiar comforts of home, you’re forced to rely on your own strength and resourcefulness.

You learn to trust your gut instinct and spend time reflecting and learning about yourself.

No matter what kind of trip you take, getting away from it all after a breakup is essential for healing your soul. There’s just something about getting out of your comfort zone and exploring new places that helps you to see the world, and your situation, in a new light.

I hope this message finds you well, and wish you all the best on your journey to recovery.

Hi, I’m Tiana – founder of and author here at Where Tiana Travels. I’m a 20-something with a love for all things travel, photography, and food. I have been living abroad for the past 5 years and solo traveling the globe in my free time. I created this blog to share my travel stories and inspire other women to go out and see the world. Read more about me here!

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'We don't hook up': How to handle a vacation with your ex

Jennifer Ruiz never anticipated that her birthday trip to the Mediterranean with her partner would end in a breakup .

The Florida-based travel writer and her partner had planned the January 2023 cruise around destinations like Greece and Turkey for six months. 

That wasn’t their first trip. The pair had previously traveled together and sometimes argued, but that didn’t deter her excitement. As a seasoned traveler, Ruiz was used to navigating airports, but her partner struggled with flying. “We saw air travel as a tense thing because of his preferences and my preferences,” she said. Suffering from tinnitus, he didn’t like flying and would want to “isolate” while she was more relaxed. “They didn’t necessarily mesh with the way we traveled, especially because you’re stuck in a tube for however long.” 

Ruiz felt like the disunity between her and her partner’s travel styles escalated other issues they had in the relationship. “They’re aggravated by the setting,” she said, despite no one really being right or wrong. He had a strict diet and felt uncomfortable asking for specific requests, while she just wanted to enjoy all the food on board. 

On board the cruise ship together, Ruiz said the lack of space – “that element of being stuck (in a cabin) and being on the water – continued to add to the tension throughout the trip. It was her partner’s first time on a cruise, and as someone who liked to stick to his routine, he ended up being “edgy,” which, in turn, made her “defensive.”

Learn more: Best travel insurance

Breakups are hard enough at home. Add hundreds or thousands of miles and a time difference, and they get even more complicated. For some couples, it may have been a long time coming, while for others, traveling itself can play a role.

The small things began to add up and finally, in Santorini, the couple had a big argument and she said her partner took off and “disappeared in the middle of Santorini.” Ruiz remembered feeling “resentful” because this was how the two were spending their one day in “the most romantic place on Earth.” 

Back on the ship, Ruiz learned her Facebook profile – vital for her job as a content creator – was hacked. Instead of consoling her during the crisis, her partner took space outside on the balcony with the door closed. “It was a really horrible birthday,” she said.

They broke up shortly after that and had to spend the last two days of the cruise together. “It was really tough,” she said. He went home and she went to Egypt, as planned. 

From the experience, Ruiz realizes that she should have let the relationship go sooner and she was “forcing things” through this trip. “It’s like trying to fit a square into a peg hole.”

“Travel is definitely a test of your compatibility,” she said. “It’s important to know the other person and really not think you can just bypass certain things. They’re not going to get better just because you’re in a vacation setting.”

Learn more: The best travel insurance

Tips for navigating travel during and after breakups

Kiaundra Jackson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, said breakups are often caused by a build-up or combination of factors. However, travel can add new variables and stressors.

Even before the trip begins, some travelers are planners while others “need a little bit more assistance with that,” Jackson said.

“I think that that can be frustrating for some couples where there is a mismatch in … getting tasks done,” Jackson added. “And that could cause friction.”

Travelers may also have more time on their hands and fewer responsibilities when they’re away from daily life. “And sometimes that can get you in trouble,” she said. “You might be drinking or you might be hanging out with people that you've met there, and there may be some attraction or some cheating or a breach of trust.”

She recommended that couples thinking about traveling together do a lower-stakes test run, like a staycation or road trip somewhere close to home. Consider talking about your vacation styles, as well.

“‘Do you want to be lazy and just lie in the bed all day and be by the pool, or do you want to do something more adventurous?’” she recommended asking. “And just have those conversations so you can at least get an idea of what they would be like on an actual vacation versus you being completely surprised when you're in the thick of it.”

If couples decide to go, Jackson recommends making sure they have access to their own money in case something happens and they need to get separate accommodations or book new transportation home. It’s also a good idea to have a “support person” who is familiar with their relationship.

“You just want to at least have one person who knows where you are, knows that you're safe, and not just physically safe, but emotionally safe,” she said.

When it comes to traveling with an ex, Jackson said it’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional health. “If going on this trip is going to send you in a downward spiral and make things worse, and now you're completely away from all of your loved ones, it's probably not the best idea to go on that trip,” she added. Though some couples may be able to depending on the circumstances of their split.

Alyssa Meza’s ex-boyfriend Nick asked her to go to Thailand with him on their first date. It started as a joke, but less than a month later, she flew to Bangkok where Nick was working to visit.

The Nashville, Tennessee-based pair bonded over their love of travel. So even after they broke up their nearly five-year relationship last June, they decided not to cancel a planned trip to Europe for her birthday.

They were still living together while Nick looked for his own place by the time the August vacation rolled around, and the breakup was amicable, with Meza feeling like the relationship had simply run its course. They also still co-parent their Mini Bernedoodle, Pavlov. “And then I was like, ‘Let's just go on (the trip),’” the 33-year-old said. “‘We travel really well together. It wouldn’t be weird.’” (Plus, their plane tickets were nonrefundable.)

It wasn’t weird. 

If anything, Meza said, it was freeing. “We can be very different types of people on vacation,” she said. While Meza said Nick enjoys sightseeing and snapping lots of photos, she likes to move slower – perhaps ducking into a coffee shop where she can “feel like a local.”

Now that they’re broken up, Meza, who works in brand marketing, said there’s less pressure to do everything together or do what the other person wants.

“Now it's like, ‘OK, can we compromise? Like, is there a way that we could do both?’” she said, even if that means splitting up for stretches of time. “It's just a different dynamic, but it still works.”

They also meet at the airport rather than going together and have scrubbed romantic dinners from the itinerary. “And you know, we don't hook up, so there’s also that,” she said.

Meza said she feels “lucky” that there is no bad blood, and they have since taken another trip to Canada.

Meza echoed that. “I have exes I definitely would never go on vacation with,” she said.

She encouraged travelers to adjust any expectations they might have had when traveling as a couple and respect their companion’s boundaries. “It wasn't like when we showed up (in Croatia) there was gonna be rose petals and Champagne waiting for us,” she said.

They are both single at the moment, but Meza said they understand they’d have to be respectful of future partners, too.

“It truly is just like going on vacation with my best friend,” she said.

5 Reasons to Travel After a Breakup (& How to Pick Out Where to Go)

“Breaking up is hard to do .” – Neil Sedaka

Writers have used breaking up as inspiration for their material for centuries. A breakup encompasses so many human emotions that there is plenty of material to create with.

But we don’t have to live in a sad story. We can break free of those emotions and move on to be the inspiration behind the next great adventure story. Or even the next romantic story.

To shake off that last sad story we sometimes need to get an entirely new view. Not just in the way we think, but literally through travel.

A breakup vacation is a perfect way to heal your wounds, get in touch with your emotions and start anew.

Why travel helps after a breakup

Here are some ways that travel helps you get over your ex and move on.

1. Travel stops constant reminders of your ex

This one is especially beneficial the earlier into a breakup you are. When you go to the same restaurant, the same movie theater, or simply stay at home. It reminds you of all the times you were there with your ex and the life events that went with them.

Traveling gets you out of town and exploring new locations with no memories attached to them. This reduces your exposure to the past and allows you to focus on the present moment and the future instead.

2. Travel increases your self-esteem

In any breakup, your self-esteem can take a hit, even if you were the one doing the leaving. By going on a solo trip or doing something you would not do you can give yourself a much-needed boost of confidence.

Every small victory increases your self-esteem . So even the planning of the trip will give your confidence a boost. What you do does not have to be extreme to get the self-esteem boost. It is about doing not necessarily what you are doing.

3. Travel gives you a chance to focus on you

Self-love and some quality self-care time is always beneficial in helping you get over the pain. At home, you still have responsibilities that will nag at you for attention, even if it is just laundry.

Going on vacation allows you to not worry about day to day tasks. Especially if you go on an all-inclusive, where you have no responsibilities. You don’t even need to make sure you have your wallet on you!

Related: Why Is Self Love Important?

4. Travel helps you rediscover yourself

Hands down, this is the most beneficial part of traveling after a breakup. When you are in a relationship it is easy to lose sight of who you are. You make compromises for the relationship to work.

But once the relationship is over, you don’t need to continue making the same compromises. Yet we don’t even realize that we are not doing what we want to do.

As you start to do things for you, you realize exactly what you love and what you did for your ex. This not only reintroduces you to you. But allows you to stop doing activities that may be draining on you.

5. Travel gives you the space to create plans for your new future

When you lose a relationship, you also lose the dreams attached to it. Your goals and life plans were tied to this person. You have to mourn that those plans will not come to fruition.

But most importantly you need to create a new vision for your future. Having a path forward in your life will help you accept and move on from the breakup.

How to pick out where to go

You are on board and ready to travel. Now you need to figure out where you are going to go and plan the trip. Here are some things you need to decide and do to make your breakup vacation happen.

What is the goal of the trip

We know it is to get over your ex, but there are many ways to do that. Here are four tips to consider:

Self-care or nurture

This trip is all about mothering yourself. Taking care of your basic needs, restoring yourself spiritually and letting yourself feel all your emotions. As painful as it is to feel, it is one of the best ways to move through the pain and get to the other side. If you want to do this type of trip you need to decide what type of nurturing is best for you.

Do you want to be in nature? Do you want an all-inclusive make zero decisions trip or do you want a dedicated spa/healing retreat? Decide what relaxes or soothes you the most and pick that trip.

Examples might be a resort in Mexico or the Caribbean. A retreat at a place like the Chopra Center or renting a house at the ocean.

Sometimes you want to go have a good time. You might not be ready to deal with the emotions but need to let go of some of the stress. You want to dance all night, shop, and chat with friends.

If this is your goal, then you will look for places like Las Vegas, where there are plenty of options to go out and have fun.

Related: How to Be Happy Alone?

In this trip, you are focused on getting out there and building your self-esteem. Doing things, you would never have dreamed of before. Letting your adrenaline fuel your realization that you will be okay.

Think of things like skydiving, walking on a glacier, or kayaking in the ocean. If you are ready for an adrenaline boost to get over your ex, New Zealand is a great place for adventure activities. There are also organized adventure tours if you prefer to let someone else do the organizing.

It does not have to be one specific trip. If the thought of doing one type of trip is dreadful, then combine them. For example, you could pick a high-end hotel in New York City. You can get pampered during the day and have plenty of nighttime options for fun.

Do you want to go solo

You know what you want to do, not it is time to decide if you are off on your own or taking your friends.

Taking friends and traveling alone both have their advantages. Traveling solo is a great way to dig in and learn more about yourself and increase your self-esteem. It also has the advantage of forcing you to learn to be alone and at the same time meet new people.

While taking your friends, provides you the support that you may need. They can be there to talk through your feelings. To push you to leave the hotel room. And to be the voice of reason that you need.

Make sure to take the friends that you can travel with and won’t make it all about them. This is your trip to healing. You don’t need to worry about taking care of your friends.

Set down ground rules before you go

This is like picking the type of trip but will be more detailed in the specifics for your type of trip. Setting some rules ahead of time can help you when you are in the moment. It stops you from doing something you might regret.

After all, you are in an emotionally fragile state. It is easy to get carried away when out of your normal routine and end up doing something you will regret later. Make sure that if you are going with friends, they know what you do and don’t want to do.

These are some examples of rules you might consider:

• Do you want to hook up?
• How much are you going to spend?
• Are you letting yourself talk about your ex?
• Do you want a limit on how much you can talk about them?
• Are you going to make it a social media-free trip?

Pick someplace new

One of the benefits of travel after a breakup is that you get away from the reminders of your ex. This means you can’t go somewhere that you used to go on vacation.

.Even if you stay in a different part of town, it still has some emotions tied to it. No running into memories on this trip! Everything needs to be new and just for you.

Book the trip

Once you have narrowed down what you want the trip to be about you can start booking it. You have two options. You can book it all on your own or you can find a good travel agent.

Travel agents are good if you are worried about your emotional brain will make some mistakes. A good travel agent can make a world of difference.

You can try places like AAA or do a google search for someone specializing in the location you are traveling to. The more a travel agent knows about a specific location, the better they can make your trip.

Feel like you have everything under control or have minimal things to book, then plan your trip on your own. It is a great way to start working on boosting your self-esteem. You can use aggregator sites like Kayak to make sure you are getting the best deal.

Pack your bags and enjoy

Now for the fun part. Traveling and getting over your ex! Go out there and write your new story!

Things to keep in mind

You may need more than one trip, especially if your relationship was a long one. Start with the type of trip you need the most and then plan another type for later in the year. Traveling is a powerful tool for personal growth. You don’t have to limit yourself to only one breakup trip.

This does not need to be an expensive big trip. The benefits of travel are the same if you go halfway around the world or a two-hour car drive away. The goal is to get out of your regular routine and take care of yourself.

Ultimately remember this trip is for you, so pick something that will provide for what you need right now. Then relax and have fun!

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Andrea Travillian

Website: Andrea Travillian

Andrea Travillian is a life coach helping women transform their lives into the happy successful dreams they crave. Through her private coaching, Andrea takes women on a healing journey to better understand what is blocking them, heal those blocks and start achieving their goals.

clock This article was published more than  4 years ago

Heartbroken? A ‘breakcation’ can help you deal with the pain.

A few years ago, I happened to be traveling when my heart was broken unexpectedly. The man I was supposed to join in Mexico the next week had met someone else, I learned over the phone in my Portland, Ore., hotel room.

I’m not sure if I would have chosen to travel immediately after being dumped. But having to do so by default of already being on the road worked in my favor. The excitement of Portland kept me afloat when all I wanted to do was sink deeper into my sadness. Doing things outside of my norm distracted me from the very raw pain pulsing within.

It turns out my “breakcation” — a post-breakup vacation — may have been just what the doctor ordered.

“Breakups are usually a time where a person looks to self-reflect and do some self-exploration … so that they don’t repeat the same mistake in the future,” says Colleen Mullen, a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the podcast “Coaching Through Chaos.” “Traveling becomes the romanticized way of jump-starting that for them.”

Before boarding a plane, stepping on a train or getting in your car to get out of Dodge, it’s worth examining how to get the most out of your breakcation, according to mental-health experts.

The worst travel destinations for a broken heart

Go somewhere new

When planning your trip, look for a destination that offers a complete change of environment. You want to pick a place where you won’t be reminded of your ex at every turn, so avoid places you visited or discussed visiting together in the past. Your ex doesn’t even exist in this new place, okay? Dabble in denial — not forever, but for now.

“Denial is a perfectly fine defense mechanism, but it’s a more primitive defense mechanism,” says Gail Saltz, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center and a psychoanalyst with the New York Psychoanalytic Society & Institute.

Saltz says that you can use denial or distractions in snippets to give yourself space between moments of being aggrieved. Instead of letting all of your pain hit you post-split, you can try to manage it better by letting in a little at a time.

Traveling somewhere new will provide you with all-encompassing distractions. You’ll have to focus on finding new restaurants, navigating new public transportation systems and speaking to new people.

Tackling that newness on your own can be empowering.

“Feeling independently accomplished is good for self-esteem, particularly post-breakup,” Saltz says. “It can be really helpful to see that you can be alone and not lonely, and feel okay about that."

Do you have to travel to the far corners of the Earth to make this type of vacation worthwhile? Absolutely not. Even going somewhere close by will give you the opportunity to get lost in foreign experiences.

7 lessons I learned while traveling by myself

Consider a group trip

Traveling solo after becoming solo can be empowering. However, you don’t have to go at it alone. If you’d like a built-in friend group to travel with or don’t want the burden of planning everything yourself, consider booking group travel. You can find opportunities around the entire globe, from backpacking through Papua New Guinea to eating through South Korea .

Whether you want something specific to your age, religious background, activity level or niche interest, there’s a group tour company or excursion for everyone. Start by looking at companies such as Intrepid Travel, Costco Travel, G Adventures and REI Adventures.

What you need to know about booking travel through Costco

Pack a blank notebook

You can completely immerse yourself in your breakcation, and wait to deal with your crisis until you get home, or use the time away to reflect. Paulette Sherman, a psychologist and author of the book “ Dating From the Inside Out ,” recommends packing a blank notebook with you so that you can journal.

“Part of traveling is kind of rediscovering yourself,” she says. “What are the things that bring you joy and what are the things that you want to see in your future?"

You could also use the pages to write your ex a letter — perhaps not one you actually send, but one for catharsis. Sherman says to look at the letter as an exercise to help put the past behind you.

Take care of yourself and stay active

This trip can provide helpful distractions, but it might not divert attention from the physical pain that can come from grief.

“'Broken heart syndrome’ is a real thing,” Saltz says. “The mind and body are intimately connected.”

After the end of a relationship, you may experience symptoms like chest pain, fatigue, stomachaches, stress and high blood pressure. One of Saltz’s tips for recovering, whether you’re in a new place or at home, is to make sure you’re covering your health basics. That means being intentional about getting enough sleep, maintaining good hygiene and exercising multiple times a week, even if you’re on the road.

Exercising doesn’t have to mean hitting the hotel gym ( although I’m definitely a fan ). You can get to know the new city you’re in by going for long walks or jogs, biking, hiking, and trying water sports.

Avoid high-risk behavior

All the experts emphasized that wounded travelers should avoid using alcohol and drugs to manage feelings. That tip can be applied before, during and after your vacation. It’s even more pertinent on the road, Sherman says, where you’re not surrounded by your support system.

Mullen, the therapist and podcast host, also urges against flings, warning that travelers can over-romanticize. Although rebounding may sound appealing, it could do more harm than good when you’re emotionally vulnerable.

Sherman recognizes that not all travel flings hurt your mental health. A casual encounter, if it’s just that, can boost someone’s confidence. But, Sherman urges, travelers should keep in mind that they haven’t dealt with their trauma yet, so flings should be avoided if they’re pursued for the sake of starting a new relationship.

How to get paid to travel

Try this 30-minute technique

Even being in a new place surrounded by new things doesn’t mean you’ll be able to escape your ex completely. Maybe you go to Instagram a photo of your gelato, and come across snapshots of your former partner in your phone. Maybe you walk by someone wearing your ex’s favorite hat. Triggers abound in 2020. They can hit hard.

“All of a sudden, feelings come up, and you’re right back where you started from emotionally,” Mullen says.

Mullen recommends responding to triggers head-on, allowing yourself to embrace the pain in full, but with a time limit.

“Set a timer and give yourself 30 minutes. Then go splash some water on your face and remind yourself you can deal with your life when you get home,” she says. “It’s okay to recognize the sadness as it comes. But you’ll lose out on the benefit of the experience by staying in a place of pain."

Keep your expectations in check

Although Mullen believes this type of journey can be healing, heartbroken travelers must have rational expectations. If you go into your breakcation expecting a profound, life-changing trip, you may be disappointed and worse off than when you left. Travel is a Band-Aid, not a magical cure.

Maybe travel “will teach you something about your life,” she says. “But you are who you are. The relationship is what it was. And that won’t change by getting a new memory in another country or another city. You’ll still have the pain and still have healing to do.”

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Where to Travel After a Break Up

You knew this post was coming eventually and while I wander around the South Island of New Zealand solo, I figure what better time to share with you my favourite places to travel around the world after a break up. All of these destinations are tried and tested and although not all visited right after a break up (else I’d be running at a high failure rate), they’re the places I have enjoyed the most solo and been able to reflect mindfully on myself, my life and my direction.

Where to travel after a break up

1. california road trip.

One of the best solo adventures I’ve taken was a one-way drive South along the Pacific Coast Highway in California. While most road trippers take the route North (from Los Angeles to San Francisco), I chose to travel in the opposite direction to drive coast side and take in the views from my driver’s seat window.

I began the journey in San Francisco, hired a rental car and gave myself five days to make my way south to Los Angeles. There are plenty of beautiful stops along the way and all are very well sign posted, so my advice to you would be to:

a) go without a plan; and

b) take your time.

2. Tasmania, Australia

I might be a little biased (as this is home for me), but I truly don’t think there are many places the world over that compare to Tasmania. From the white sand beaches to the mountain ranges in the central plateau, there are so many different personalities to this island that continually keep you guessing what you might find around the corner.

You’ll need around two weeks to make the most of the island because although it looks small on a map, travel times between cities and destinations are often 2-4 hours at a time, meaning that you’ll spend a good portion of the trip driving (ahem, uplifting playlists and motivating podcasts at the ready!)

There are a few ways to approach the road trip, however I’d personally recommend flying in and out of Launceston and doing a “round-trip” around the island. The best stops for a little self-discovery are outlined (in order) below:

Launceston – Cradle Mountain – North West Coast (Stanley) – West Coast (Strahan) – Hobart – Port Arthur & surrounds – East Coast (Freycinet, Swansea, Bicheno) – Launceston

Not a likely candidate for a post-breakup trip but certainly one of my favourite places off the grid was my time in Romania. There’s something so memorable about visiting a place that not many people you know have been and often have never considered going to (or perhaps have ever heard of!?)

Romania was one such country for me that flies completely under the radar and has so much beauty to discover in the mountains and countryside towns.

My favourite places to discover centred mostly around Translyvania and Sinaia. I based myself in Brasov and ventured out on day trips to the likes of Peles Castle, Bran Castle, and onwards to small towns before making my way by car to Serbia across the border.

One thing I will say for Romania as a solo destination is that the language barrier can be difficult at times, with many people (especially older people) not speaking English. It totally depends on your personality as to whether you see this as a challenge you’re up for, or one you would rather avoid. If it is the latter, perhaps consider opting for Western Europe where English is much more widely spoken, or choosing an English speaking country and skipping the hassle altogether!

4. Train Journey through The Netherlands

I’ll never forget my journey through the Netherlands solo and in retrospect can see now that I have always maintained my independence through the past few years in a relationship, which is a huge help when trying to move forward when it comes to an end.

Journeying through the Netherlands solo is extremely relaxing, easy, and incredibly beautiful. Prior to my trip I had only visited Amsterdam and to be completely honest, had never considered travelling elsewhere in the Dutch speaking nation.

As it turns out the “best” of the Netherlands exists outside of Amsterdam (though I do love the Dam), but you get a new level of depth and insight into Dutch way of life the minute you visit other cities and small towns. Some of my highlights included Utrecht, Delft, The Hague and Maastricht.

Read more: 7 Cities you Must Visit in the Netherlands

5. Norway’s Fjordlands

Ethereal and hauntingly so, I don’t think there are landscapes comparable with those in Norway! If you’re after an adventurous getaway to keep your mind (and body) busy, then Norway is an adventure land just waiting to be discovered.

One downside to discovering Norway is of course the expense so if you’re going it alone, be sure to have a big budget or consider inviting a friend or family member to join you (especially if you’re up for an adventure but not so much being alone).

The fjordlands are some of the most dramatic scenery I’ve seen the world over and believe me when I saw “you have to see it to believe it!” This is a great out-of-body experience to have to remind yourself of how big the world is and how small a place you occupy in it.

Read more: The prettiest coastal cities and towns you must visit in Norway!

6. Zanzibar, Tanzania

My trip to Zanzibar earlier this year was when my relationship was on the rocks, so I set off solo for some “me time” in the hopes I’d find an answer to the question we all ask ourselves too many times throughout years of relationship: is it long term or a lesson?

I spent just 5 days in Zanzibar on a small remote island – waking up to sea breeze and the ease of island living. There’s nothing I could have needed more and they do say wasting time is not time wasted!

If you’re looking for a beachside getaway without running the risk of honeymooners in every direction, this is a pretty safe bet.

Read more: 14 Reasons to Visit Zanzibar

7. Winter in the Canadian Rockies

Also at the start of the year and in search of answers, I travelled to Alberta, Canada for a week-long winter trip. The roadside scenery is so speccy that at one time, I had to pull over on the side of the road to stop myself from crying out of sheer disbelief that nature can be so. damn. beautiful.

The best part of the journey was driving the Icefields Parkway between Jasper National Park and Banff National Park. The roads are icey so take your time, soak it up and breathe in that fresh mountain air. I truly don’t know if my jaw will ever recover from the hours it was dropped to the floor of the car.

Read more: A 10 Day Itinerary for Alberta, Canada

8. New Zealand by Van

And so brings us to my current adventure… riding around solo in a van on the South Island of New Zealand. When I landed here a week ago, I had no plan and no clue as to why I felt the urge to book a one-way ticket to my neighbour New Zealand, but knew it was something I had to do to clear my mind and my thoughts.

Break-ups are hard at any stage of life, but it feels especially so when you’ve spent years planning a future with one person, only to have those plans come crashing down in a few simple words.

I picked New Zealand for a few reasons: it is adventurous, so beautiful that it is hardly believable, and my kiwi friend Sophie’s response to my break up was “do you wanna come over and go on an adventure?” What a gem. I’ve spent a week with her hiking and skiing and will now take some time to myself to leave the simple life for a while: live in a van without a plan. It rhymes!

9. Road Trip Through Ireland

Years ago I travelled to Ireland in need of a road trip. I wasn’t entirely sure why my body was urging me to do so, but I just felt like I needed a break from routine and to venture off in a new country with no plans.

I hired a car in Dublin, purchased a map from the service station and began driving West toward the rugged coastline. Fast forward a week and I was completely in love with this country – the people most of all, who are amongst some of the friendliest I have met the world over (just don’t start a conversation with an Irishman if you have somewhere to be, it could take a while….!)

Read more: 8 Places you must visit in Ireland

10. Icelandic Adventures

Iceland has been on my travel list for as long as I’ve listened to Björk (I’m 26, so a pretty long time!) and if there’s anywhere that will leave your eyes watering from natural beauty, it is here.

If you’re looking to get off the grid and away from modern society, this is a great place to do so if you venture along the South Coast, heading up to the top of Iceland (the further away from Reykjavik, the better!)

11. Eat your way around Italy

Its called  Eat, Pray, Love   for a reason and that reason begins with Italy! There’s no country in the entire world (if you ask me) as infectious as Italy. The Italians have a such a passion for their country and culture, that it is so easy to soak in la Dolce Vita and leave your troubles far, far away.

Some of my top picks for where to travel in Italy after a break up include: Lake Como, Venice, Rome, Cinque Terre, Tuscany and the Amalfi Coast.

12. Norfolk Island, Australia

Friends are always surprised when I tell them my favourite place in Australia is Norfolk Island, mostly because they have never heard of it before! This stunning little island off the coast of New South Wales is one of those places that lets you forget your troubles and live the good (simple) life. Community is key here on Norfolk island and you’ll notice how friendly and welcoming the locals are of out-of-towners.

I’d recommend 7 days on the island if you wish to see and experience everything, however, it is very possible to see most of the island over a few days if you have limited time to escape the office.

Read more: Australia’s Best Kept Secret: Norfolk Island

13. Sri Lanka

If you’ve already travelled to countries like Bali and Thailand, then the next destination on your list should be Sri Lanka. This island nation has such an understated approach to tourism, making for a truly authentic experience that is not dissimilar to a “light” version of India. The countryside is very picturesque and the beaches are otherworldly.

14. Go Hiking in Patagonia, Chile

I still to this day say Chile is my favourite country to explore and I’m yet to find somewhere as vast and changeable with so much to offer travellers. One of my favourite locations in the country is Patagonia, a beautiful mountain range in the South of the country and shared in part with Argentina.

If you’re more of a hiker/outdoorsy type, you’ll love trekking the “O” circuit in Torres del Paine.

15. Experience an African Safari

Still my all-time favourite experience that I seem to go back to year after year is an African safari. My favourite safari so far has been in Botswana, second in Tanzania and third in South Africa (key word: so far!!!)

Experiencing wild animals like lions and cheetahs up close in their natural habitat is a sure way to get your mind off the past and into the present.

16. Road Trip and Hike in Arizona

If you’re more of a day hiker or new to hiking, I’d recommend hitting up the National Parks in Arizona while you road trip your way across the state and take on a new challenge each day. Hiking in the likes of Sedona and the Grand Canyon are some of my fondest outdoors memories and with so many trails, you could spend weeks without barely scratching the surface.

17. The Scottish Isles

Years ago I joined a tour group for an adventure into the Scottish isles in Northern Scotland and the trip has been such a memorable point of reference that I don’t think there has been a dinner party where I haven’t brought it up.

If you’re looking for an easy road trip itinerary with great scenery and still an affordable price, you really can’t beat it. If you’re looking for a longer journey than 7-10 days, I’d recommend combining Scotland with Wales or Ireland… or all three!

18. Indonesia

Bali itself has had its’ moment, but the good news is there are so many other parts of Indonesia worth exploring if you’re happy to think outside the box. One of my favourite places I have visited the world over is Sumba Island, where the pace is slow and the people are kind. How can you beat that combo!?

19. Become a Foodie in France

French towns have long been a soft spot for me and suffice it to say I don’t have too many left on my list. Half the fun of France is discovering different cuisines which are specific to each region (wine also). This is a great place to lose yourself in the French countryside and discover small towns + villages off the grid, all the while eating your way to utter bliss.

Read more: 20 of the most beautiful places in France

20. Stay In!

The past few weeks have flown by and for almost all of it, I’ve been perched up on my couch spending my time reading, writing, and creating the perfect little sanctuary to return home to. Sometimes you don’t need to go anywhere externally, so don’t be afraid to spend a little time with yourself and your thoughts…it is a process worth investing yourself in sooner rather than later!

NEW NOW! SOLO TRAVEL GUIDE

Brooke Saward founded World of Wanderlust as a place to share inspiration from her travels and to inspire others to see our world. She now divides her time between adventures abroad and adventures in the kitchen, with a particular weakness for French pastries.

Find me on: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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How & Why You Should Travel After a Breakup

“To travel is to take a journey into yourself.” — Danny Kaye

Exploring  how to get divorced in Washington State  embarking on a trip after a breakup becomes a compelling avenue for healing and recovery. The emotional toll of a breakup can be challenging, and a transformative journey provides an opportunity to escape daily life and immerse oneself in new surroundings, fostering healing on multiple levels. Stepping out of the comfort zone and delving into unfamiliar territory offers a chance for a fresh perspective and self-discovery. Whether traversing Europe or venturing into unexplored territories, the journey provides invaluable opportunities for personal growth and self-reflection. Providing yourself with the time and space to heal while creating new and cherished memories becomes a meaningful choice.

Gain a new perspective on life and relationships

Experiencing falling in love after divorce provides an opportunity to meet new people who may have gone through similar experiences or share perspectives on relationships. Sharing stories and exchanging experiences with individuals who have also navigated through a breakup can help you comprehend your own emotions and gain insights into how they managed to move forward. This not only broadens your circle of acquaintances but also imparts valuable lessons about resilience, self-love, finding happiness, and more.

Exploring the question, “Will I ever find love again after divorce,” embarking on a journey post-breakup fosters personal growth, offering new perspectives on life and relationships. It provides an opportunity to broaden your horizons, explore new possibilities, and embrace transformative experiences through travel. By granting yourself the space to heal, rediscover your identity, and gain clarity on life’s priorities, you set the stage to find inspiration and build lasting connections in the future.

Step out of your comfort zone and boost your confidence

Engaging in traveling after a breakup allows us to break free from the familiar and comfortable, opening ourselves up to new experiences and embracing change. It provides the necessary space for personal reflection and growth that is often restricted by routine. Trying out new activities or immersing ourselves in unfamiliar cultures becomes a direct confrontation with our fears, offering a valuable opportunity for personal development.

Embarking on healing trips after a breakup offers an opportunity to redefine yourself outside of the relationship. During your travels, you can distance yourself from reminders of the past, forge new memories, and embrace your identity as an independent individual. This freedom allows you to make decisions based solely on your wants and needs, free from compromise. Such newfound independence not only enhances your self-confidence but also aids in rebuilding trust in your ability to navigate life. With each adventure, you gain confidence that, despite heartbreak, you are still capable of creating joyful moments for yourself. 

Meet new people and create lifelong connections

Traveling after a breakup will provide many spontaneous moments of connection that can truly transform your life. Whether it’s casual conversations with locals in cafes or connecting with fellow travelers on group tours and hostel stays, these interactions foster a sense of community and provide solace when emotions are still running high. Sharing stories of travel adventures as well as personal struggles allows for vulnerability and compassion, creating deep connections based on shared experiences. These newfound friendships will not only provide a pleasant conversation but will also serve as a reminder that there are countless other people who have overcome the difficulties of a breakup and found joy again. 

In addition, traveling after a breakup allows you to expand your social circle . Traveling especially opens the door to meeting like-minded people who share similar passions or interests. These encounters not only enrich your life through cultural exchanges but also remind you that despite the heartache, there is still so much love and joy out there. It is in these interpersonal connections that you can find solace, support, and even new love. 

So, don’t be afraid to accept chance encounters and build relationships as you journey through your breakup. These relationships can bring comfort, inspiration, and a sense of hope as you go through this transformative time in your life. 

Create lasting memories and moments for self-reflection

• Another reason to travel after a breakup is to create lasting memories and moments of self-reflection. When you go hiking in the mountains or on holiday by the ocean, you’re setting out to experience new adventures and unforgettable memories. These experiences will take your mind off the pain of the breakup and remind you that there is more to life than just relationships. Traveling opens up the ability to self-reflect. While traveling, you may find yourself asking deep questions about what truly brings you joy, the kind of person you want to be, and what kind of relationship aligns with your values. This introspection fosters personal growth and a clearer vision for your future. 
• Getting away from your familiar surroundings gives you the space and freedom you need to reflect on past relationships. You’ll have plenty of time to journal, meditate, or simply contemplate your emotions during this transformative time in your life. By practicing yoga or meditating in silence, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself, gain clarity on what went wrong, and even discover new aspects of your personality that were overshadowed by previous relationships. This process helps to pave the way for personal growth, self-discovery, and healthy relationships in the future.   

Find solace in the beauty and tranquillity of nature

Traveling after a breakup is also an opportunity to escape from reminders of past relationships and create new memories. By exploring different cities, countries, or continents, you let go of the past and have new experiences. Visiting places you’ve always wanted to see or doing interesting things will help you rekindle your passion for life and remind you of what lies ahead. Whether it’s wandering among ancient ruins, sampling local cuisine, or immersing yourself in vibrant cultures, traveling opens up endless opportunities for personal growth and joyful moments that will outshine any lingering pain from your breakup. 

Finally, traveling after a breakup allows you to create distance between you and your ex. This physical distance will give you the opportunity to breathe, reflect, and ultimately move forward. Traveling introduces you to new environments, new people, and new perspectives. Thus, traveling after a breakup becomes a symbolic start and an opportunity to let go and regain your independence. It will allow you to redefine yourself outside of the relationship and rediscover your personality, passions, and desires. So why not embark on this adventure? Gain freedom, find solace in the beauty of nature, create new memories, and ultimately pave the way for a brighter future filled with self-discovery and growth.  

Reconnect with your passions and discover new interests

Traveling after a breakup gives you the freedom to try something new without any restrictions, whether it’s learning how to cook traditional dishes in Italy, taking salsa lessons in Cuba, or practicing yoga on a beach in Bali. If you fully immerse yourself in the experience, you may discover hidden talents or discover new interests. A breakup can leave you feeling overwhelmed, but traveling offers an exciting escape from these feelings and provides opportunities for personal growth.  

Traveling after a breakup can be an adventure filled with self-discovery, new friends, cultural immersion, and unforgettable experiences. As you travel, you will realize that the whole world is waiting for you with open arms. Let travel be the catalyst that helps you rediscover your passions and create a brighter future.  

Break free from routine and embrace spontaneity

• Traveling after a breakup allows you to create your own itinerary without any compromises or commitments. You have the freedom to choose where you want to go, how long you want to stay, and what activities you want to do. With no one else’s preferences or needs in mind, you can fully immerse yourself in the present moment, enjoying every aspect of your trip at your own pace. This gives you an incredible sense of empowerment and the knowledge that you are able to move through life on your own terms. 
• Traveling also allows you to escape from reminders of past relationships. Being constantly surrounded by familiar places, memories, and people associated with your ex-partner will make it difficult to recover. Traveling removes these triggers, giving you a chance to renew. New surroundings, new cultures, and new experiences provide a distraction, allowing you to emotionally distance yourself from the broken heart. By immersing yourself in different environments, you create space for personal growth, leaving behind any lingering reminders of past pain.  

Start life anew with a renewed mindset and a positive outlook

Traveling gives you the space you need to reassess your values, priorities, and goals. You can use this time as an opportunity for introspection, to rediscover passions you may have neglected, and ultimately create a vision for your future. 

By embarking on this journey of self-discovery, you are allowing yourself not only healing but transformation. Although it may be frightening at first, this experience will enable you to release any burden of your past relationships. Start your life anew with an open mind, new perspectives, and optimism about what lies ahead. The world is huge and holds endless possibilities. Just remember that traveling after a breakup is a choice not to run away but to embrace change, become stronger, and find joy in exploring yourself and the world.

Featured Image by Hermann Traub from Pixabay

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Where to Travel Alone after a Breakup - 10 recommended destinations to plan your trip better

When you're going through a breakup, it can be hard to look forward to anything. Traveling is also an excellent way to meet new people and gain perspective on life; it can be just what you need after a breakup. Whether it's exploring a new city, going on a road trip with friends, or taking some time for yourself in nature, make sure it's something that will bring you joy and peace of mind. So if you're feeling down after a breakup, consider taking some time for yourself and planning an adventure!

So, oddly enough, my article How to travel after a breakup - 5 tips to plan your trip better has been one of my most recommended blog post. Interesting! I wrote it by myself on a beach after an incredibly bad break up years ago where I went to Greece by myself and I thought it was a good topic to address since I met a few women who were traveling alone after a break up as well and I thought to myself - other women might think this information is helpful. I've had friends in the past who went through a breakup and wanted to travel so I planned their whole trip for them and the trip did them so much good! So here's some helpful information for anyone looking for a healing trip after breakup or divorce.

Why travel after a breakup?

Traveling after a breakup can be an incredibly therapeutic experience. Planning your next adventure will give you something to look forward to, as well as help take your mind off things. It can be a great way to get out of your comfort zone and explore new places, meet new people, and gain some perspective on the situation.

Whether it's a weekend getaway or a longer trip, having something to plan for and look forward to can be a great distraction from the heartache of the breakup when you're feeling crappy sitting around upset and you don't know what to do to feel better.

Traveling also allows you to focus on yourself and take time for self-care. You can use this time to reflect on what happened in the relationship and learn from it without feeling overwhelmed by emotions. It gives you an opportunity to do things that make you happy, such as trying new activities or visiting places that have always been on your bucket list. Plus, it's a great way to build confidence and remind yourself that you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to! Traveling alone is incredibly empowering and you're out of your comfort zone already why not explore the world.

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. – Raymond Lindquist

When planning your trip, make sure it's something that will make you happy and excited. Whether it's exploring a new city, going on a road trip with friends, or taking some time for yourself in nature, make sure it's something that will bring you joy and peace of mind. Traveling is also an excellent way to meet new people and gain perspective on life; it can be just what you need after a breakup. So if you're feeling down after a breakup, consider taking some time for yourself and planning an adventure!

Exploring new places while finding yourself again

Travelling can be a great way to rediscover yourself and find out what you truly enjoy. It allows you to step away from the everyday routine and make decisions based on your own wants and needs, rather than having to consider someone else’s. This can be especially true when travelling alone, as it gives you the opportunity to explore without having to compromise with another person.

In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. – Deepak Chopra

Exploring new places is a great way to learn more about yourself and what makes you happy. Whether it’s visiting a museum, getting lost in an unfamiliar city or meeting new people, taking the time to do things that make you happy will help you discover who you are and what kind of life you want for yourself. Travelling can also provide invaluable insight into different cultures and ways of life, which can help shape your own values and beliefs. So take the time being on your own to discover what makes you tick – after all, we only get one shot!

So here we are a list in no particular order of where you should travel after a breakup...I based these not necessarily because I was going through a breakup during my visit there but because of the quality of the social atmosphere, activities, etc.

1. Zanzibar, Tanzania

If you're looking for a more exotic destination, Zanzibar is the perfect place to travel alone after a breakup. This stunning island off the coast of Tanzania offers some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, as well as plenty of opportunities for adventure. Whether it's snorkeling in crystal clear waters or exploring ancient ruins, there's something for everyone in Zanzibar. It's a combination of fun and relaxation at a paradise destination. People are super friendly and I also met tons of interesting travelers.

Why go there?

There are so many activities and things to see and if you want relaxation and also fun to meet people, the hostels there are absolutely awesome for meeting people.

Sagando hostel Michamve

Summer Dream Lodge Paje

Things to do: 

Kiteboarding, beach

2. Seville, Andalusia, Spain

If you're looking for a city with plenty of culture and history, Seville in Andalusia is the perfect destination. With its stunning architecture, vibrant nightlife, and delicious cuisine, Seville is the perfect place to explore alone after a breakup. Plus, it's easy to get around with plenty of public transportation options.

Tons of group tours, hostels with social activities, day trips

Hostel Triana Backpackers

Black Swan Hostel

Things to do:

Flamenco Show

Plaza España

Free Walking Tour

3. Piran, Slovenia

Piran is a small coastal town in Slovenia that offers stunning views of the Adriatic Sea. It's the perfect place to relax and take in the beauty of nature, as well as explore its rich culture and history. Plus, it's easy to get around because you can walk everywhere!

Why go there after a breakup:

Scenery is beautiful alot of exploring time and solitude. Beautiful history

hostel Pirano

Climb the tower

wander around and have quiet time by the sea

4. Lisbon, Portugal

Portugal is a great destination for those looking to travel alone after a breakup. With its stunning beaches, vibrant culture, and delicious cuisine, Portugal is the perfect place to relax and explore. From exploring the cobblestone streets of Lisbon to taking in the breathtaking views, there's something for everyone in Portugal. Plus, it's easy to get around with plenty of public transportation options.

Social hostels, tons of activities, beautiful weather, sun

San Jordis Lisbon

There are lots of walking tours

Food tours and

Pub crawls around Alfama

Day trips: 

Sintra , Cascais , Fatima etc so you'll never be bored plus there are lots of day tours so you're with other people!

5. Yangshuo, China

If you're looking for a more adventurous destination and plan on venturing out into the Chinese countryside, Yangshuo in China is the perfect place to travel alone after a breakup. With its stunning karst mountains, vibrant culture, and delicious cuisine, Yangshuo offers plenty of opportunities for exploration.

beautiful scenery and fun hostels and social activity

yangshuo 11 hostel

Things to do

Monkey Janes Bar - I learned to play beer pong here!

Rent bikes and explore!

float down the river on a bamboo raft

Tons more stuff here

6. Cusco, Peru

Cusco is the perfect destination for those looking to explore ancient ruins and learn more about the Incan culture. With its stunning architecture, vibrant nightlife, and delicious cuisine, Cusco is the perfect place to travel alone after a breakup as it's colorful and has inrcredible vibe. Plus, it's easy to get around with plenty of public transportation options.

Tons of cultural activities and incredible scenery

Stay at Loki Hostel where there are always fun activities

What to do?

Macchu Picchu

Rainbow mountain

Sacsayhuaman

7. San Miguel de Allende, Mexico

San Miguel de Allende is a charming colonial city in Mexico that offers plenty of opportunities for exploration. With its stunning architecture, vibrant nightlife, and delicious cuisine, San Miguel de Allende is the perfect place to travel alone after a breakup. Plus, it's easy to get around with plenty of public transportation options.

Beautiful streets, wonderful cafes, cool hostels

La Catrina hostel

Spend some time people watching, chilling in cafes, eating in restaurants, taking in the scenery.

Day trips to Guanajuato, Queretaro.

8. Edinbourgh, Scotland

Edinburgh is a great destination for those looking to explore a vibrant city with plenty of culture and history. From exploring the cobblestone streets of the Old Town to taking in the breathtaking views of Edinburgh Castle, there's something for everyone in Edinburgh. Plus, it's easy to get around with plenty of public transportation options.

The city is incredibly historic and beautiful and people are friendly. tons of activities to do

Castle Rock hostel

There's an awesome hike to a view overlooking the city that I really enjoyed.

9. Buenos Aires, Argentina

Buenos Aires is the perfect destination for those looking to explore a vibrant city with plenty of culture and history. From exploring the colorful neighborhoods of La Boca to taking in the stunning views of Plaza de Mayo, there's something for everyone in Buenos Aires.

Plus, it's a great base to take a bus and explore San Carlos de Bariloche, Mendoza, and Salta. Whether you're looking for a vibrant nightlife or a more relaxed atmosphere, Buenos Aires has something for everyone.

Tons to see, awesome restaurants and night life, tango, culture

Rayela hostel

Recoleta cemetary

Artisan market Recoleta

Other things to do

10.Taormina, Sicily

Taormina is a beautiful coastal town in Sicily that offers stunning views of the Mediterranean Sea. It's the perfect place to relax and take in the beauty of nature, as well as explore its rich culture and history. There are also plenty of activities to do such as exploring the Greek theater, taking a cable car ride up Mount Etna, or visiting one of the many wineries in the area.

Picturesque views, incredible food, beach

Hostel Taormina

How will I meet people if I'm traveling alone?

Making friends while traveling is one of the most enjoyable and rewarding experiences you can have. It’s almost impossible not to make friends when you’re on the road, as there are so many opportunities to meet new people, especially if you stay in hostels. People are relaxed, open to experiences and looking for fun when they’re traveling, so it’s easy to strike up conversations with strangers. You can find yourself chatting away with someone in a hostel or bar, or even just walking down the street.

The great thing about making friends while traveling is that you get to meet all sorts of interesting characters from around the world. You can learn about different cultures and lifestyles, share stories and experiences, and create unforgettable memories together. Plus, it’s always nice to have someone who understands what it feels like to be away from home and who can relate to your travel adventures. So don’t be afraid to reach out and make some new friends while you’re on the road – it will only add to your experience! I have friends I met in a hostel once 20 years ago for a weekend that I still keep in touch with to this day. Plus, it's way easier now since you can just add people to your Instagram.

No matter where you decide to go, traveling alone after a breakup can be a great way to rediscover yourself and find out what you truly enjoy. So take the time to explore new places, meet new people, and gain perspective on life – it can be just what you need after a breakup!

Do you have any tips for traveling alone after a breakup and where to do? Let me know in the comments! 

ANDREA HUNT - Online Transformational Life Coach & EFT Tapping Practitioner based in Munich, Germany

I'm an accredited transformational life coach from Animas Centre for Coaching UK  and a member of the International Coaching Federation. I'm also a Level 2 practitioner in EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) and a member of AEFTP (Association of Emotional Freedom Technique Professionals).

If you're not sure where to start transforming your life, you can download my free ebook on How to Start Your Personal Growth Journey.

Are you ready to change your life, let go of old beliefs, empower yourself for a mindset shift to move forward? Mark Batterson says: You're always one decision away from a totally different life.

If you're interested in booking a free 15 minute discovery call for transformational life coaching, EFT Tapping or checking out my services page click here .

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Ten Ways Travel Helps You Heal After A Breakup

Jessica Wendroff

Breakups can be brutal. You may want to curl up in the fetal position for a few days or weeks, cocooned in blankets.

After some time and plenty of tissue boxes, you eventually break out of that cocoon and function again.Breaking out of bed is, unfortunately, the easy part — breaking out of your former self requires more work. Emotions aren't cookie-cutter; they're messy and complicated and sometimes, your heart dominates your mind.

Thankfully, traveling is a great remedy to the breakup blues. It helps clear your mind, shed your skin and speed up the emotional healing process.Everyone knows that leisurely travel is a fun idea year-round, but here are 10 reasons why while you’re navigating a breakup is the optimal time to travel:

‍ 1. If you get lost enough, you find yourself.

‍ Planning an itinerary is a great, healthy distraction. Researching places and activities is educational and gives you something productive to do.When you finally arrive at your destination, you'll probably get lost and be forced to find your way.

Once you are successful, you'll have proved to yourself that you're a badass who is capable of anything.If you're a woman, you'll discover your inner warrior princess. If you're a guy, you'll tap into your deep-rooted 300 Spartan.

No matter your gender, your skin will thicken and your soul will grow.

‍ 2. The little things you do while away will boost your self-esteem.

‍ Driving, getting around alone, trying new things, seeing new places, tasting new foods and using a map will make you feel like a god or goddess.If you start to doubt yourself, just remember that you’ve got this, even by yourself.

Pfft, especially by yourself. Go ahead and climb those metaphorical and physical mountains.

‍ 3. Travel catalyzes growth.

‍ Traveling is the Neosporin of emotional wounds.Everything you would normally feel while healing at home most likely feels 10 times better or has more meaning if you do it alone and in a foreign place.

Also, the scary element of a new place makes muscles of independence develop faster.If you can do something abroad or out-of-state, you can feel confident about conquering any task, regardless of the setting.

‍ 4. You meet people.

‍ Not only that, but you meet people who probably have the same or similar interests as you, who are also often alone.They are usually good, fun people. This makes you realize that even when you ARE alone in life, you aren’t really. You'll be surprised by how many friends you'll make if you are open. Just remember to keep your eyes open and be safe about it.

‍ 5. You observe the world in a new way, literally.

‍ You start to notice the regularly overlooked details of the planet with a new pair of eyes and profound appreciation.You look at life with unparalleled wonder; you welcome the sight of that awkward squirrel and notice the shape of the clouds.

‍ 6. You get peace and quiet.

‍ Think of your passport as a mute button.Traveling allows you to reflect on the relationship without the influence of others' opinions. By doing this, you also avoid the risk of responding to or contacting your ex.

More importantly, having no cellular service abroad could help you kick old conversational habits. Being newly single will probably make you miss the addictive dopamine rush you would otherwise experience after receiving a text from your ex. By having your phone on airplane mode while away, you eliminate the text message cues that elicit a reward reaction.

In this way, you can train yourself to be happy without your phone buzzing.

‍ 7. Out of sight, out of mind.

‍ Being away can be just what you need.You will be out and about, sightseeing and breathing in fresh air instead of repeatedly checking his or her Facebook. You simply won’t be tempted to stay indoors, crying in front of a computer screen, television or both when you’re in a new place.

Removing yourself from familiar places, people and surroundings also prevents memories from the relationship to resurface.

Additionally, being out of the country or state shields you from all of the people who want you to rebound during your vulnerable state. That supposedly innocent “shoulder to cry on” could quickly turn into a face to suck. Trust me, you don't want to suck that face right now, and you probably never will.

‍ 8. You will be forced to smile for photos!

‍ Studies show that forcing yourself to smile actually improves your mood.

Grinning releases endorphins, which make you happy, even if you're in a sour mood. So, go show off your pearly whites and take cheesy tourist photos to your heart's content.

‍ 9. Plane rides give you time to get comfortable with just being alone.

‍ They also give you a small window during which you can pamper yourself.

Being on a plane is similar to being at a restaurant; you have people to serve and wait on you. You're also in a safe place, provided that there is no turbulence!

Drink some champagne and chill out on your flight with a movie or music. You can also read, sleep or look out the window and admire the cities you pass. Do so and think about all of the other singles in the world.

On the plane, you can even secretly cry if you feel like it. It's better to get the emotions out inside the aircraft, rather than inside Notre Dame.

‍ 10. Travel makes you grow.

‍ If you travel while you're already in the process of change, you will come out more capable than before. Greatness is born outside of comfort zones.

Having positive thoughts and feelings are one thing, but actually going out and doing things for yourself provides evidence for what you can do. You can do it all if you give yourself the chance. After all, strength is thrust upon us when being strong is our only option.

Breakups cloud minds, but everyone should remember that love may be an adventure — as is life. Loss of love doesn't mean loss of life, though; it just means you will have a different kind of adventure, one with yourself. Love, honor and respect yourself. Stand on your own two feet, and if you can afford it, stand on them abroad, or out-of-state.

Don't just keep your head up; look up and look around at the fantastic world in which we live.Absorb and cherish the spectacular moments you provide yourself and take pride in them.

In a few years, you might not even recall your ex's name, but you will remember the rugged, dry-skinned texture of a Thai elephant, falling madly in love with gelato in Italy or nearly crying after laying your eyes on the indescribable beauty of La Sagrada Familia's interior.

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‍ The Founder of Behere, Meesen Brown, Shares Her Top Tips For A Solo Trip

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7 of the best places to travel solo after a breakup

By Ange Law

Published on Mar 13, 2019 | 5 min

So you’ve just gone through a breakup and are feeling a bit… stuck, broken, desperate to escape your current situation (and location) and find space to breathe? Perhaps you’re feeling so relieved that you desperately need an adventure – the sooner the better. Well, you’ve come to the right place.

When searching for a new country to travel solo you need to consider a few things. The first: safety (this one’s a given). Second: adventure, because nothing offers perspective on life quite like a trip outside your comfort zone. So, with that in mind, we’ve rounded up the best places to travel solo after a breakup…

7. New Zealand

New Zealand is the perfect destination if you’re a little bit nervous about going it alone but are craving adventure, fresh air, and endless breathtaking views. This country isn’t hard to fall in love with, as one of the world’s safest countries in the world and also one of the smallest – you can cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time and take it as slow or fast as you like.

For a road trip with no firm plans, we suggest the South Island. Your eyes won’t know what hit them because nothing compares to the crystal clear waters of Lake Tekapo. Except perhaps, the imposing Franz Josef Glacier or the mountainous Kaikoura coastline, where black pebbled beach meets the bluer than blue ocean.

Image source: Casey Horner / Unsplash

If you’re equally focused on finding space to think and breathe post-breakup as you are on the hunt for a non-stop adventure, then head to Japan . Whether you’re hunting for the world’s busiest intersection in Tokyo, want to soak up the beautifully calm culture of a Japanese tea ceremony in Kyoto, are searching for silence in a tiny seaside village in Okinawa, or just want to eat your weight in sushi; this country has it all.

Image source: Jezael Melgoza / Unsplash

5. Tanzania

When you think about stepping well and truly outside your comfort zone, one continent that comes to mind will no doubt be Africa . So, if you’re in need of a reminder on just how massive and beautiful the world is outside your break up, this is where you should head.

As always, you have options, and if this is your first time travelling to Africa, we suggest you book a tour so you don’t miss anything. We recommend Tanzania, East Africa – one of the best places in the world to try a safari! Home of the Serengeti National Park and pristine beaches, this amazing country will give you the best of both worlds.

Image source: Contiki

Looking for delicious food and the most welcoming culture in the world? A trip to Italy is a must, because this country put the ‘eat’ in Eat, Pray, Love for a reason.

You’d be forgiven for thinking Italy is for lovers and lovers alone, but you’d also be wrong. This country straddles beauty, history, and gelato perfectly and our top post-breakup picks are Lake Como, hiking through the Cinque Terre, getting lost in Rome, and sipping spritz seaside on the Amalfi Coast.

3. Scotland

If you want to get away but aren’t quite ready to leave the comforting familiarity of home (AKA an English-speaking country) Scotland is your best bet. It’s been voted as the most beautiful country on Earth and we can understand why; lush green rolling hills, castles, rugged mountain vistas, and untouched beauty are all par for the course here. The country is on the small side, so a weeklong road trip should do it. Plus, anywhere that has pub culture and whisky so deeply ingrained in their way of life will always be a good choice.

If you’re yet to soak up the otherworldly beauty that is Greece , now is the time. Greece is best described as calmly chaotic and visually magnificent – partly due to the lack of road rules but also because of the incredible warmth of the people (and the place itself). For peak throwing-caution-to-the-wind vibes, you should consider a multi-island adventure, which means only one thing. Sailing. Take to the ocean and soak up the endless warmth and sunshine aboard a boat, bonus points if said boat is filled with best friends, old and new. And if you’ve already been, well, it’s personally our favourite place to go back to again and again (and again).

1. Portugal

From Lisbon’s amazing foodie scene (check out the LX Factory for all the food, wine and coffee you could ever want) to Santa Cruz’s wild and beautiful coastline, Portugal is the perfect tonic for any soul. Explore the colourful cities like Lisbon or Porto and spend time soaking up the culture and eating pastéis de nata, solo or with new friends. Or, if you’re looking for active distraction, try surfing and paddle boarding at Noah’s Surf House, the coolest new hostel spot in Santa Cruz, or look to the beautiful Lagos or the Algarve. The sheer variety of things to do and laidback vibes make it our number one choice for solo post-breakup travel.

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How to move past a painful breakup, according to a relationship therapist

One month after I ended my relationship, I went to see Esther Perel speak at the 92nd Street Y. She polled the audience, as she always does, asking, “How many of you are in a relationship or married?” For the first time in a long time, this wasn’t me. Then she asked, “How many of you are single?” As I raised my hand, a tear ran down my face. I felt vulnerable. It seemed so official.

This may seem overly dramatic, but if you’ve ever de-partnered from a long-term relationship, you will know that it is a trauma that requires a major dose of deprogramming. Breakups, even when self-inflicted, are like undergoing open heart surgery. Nothing prepares you for this type of loss. Culturally, we don’t hold space for the complexities of a relationship’s ending. Whether family, friend, or partner, we don’t acknowledge or honor the depth of such losses. After an ending, getting closure and moving on become the primary focus.

Let’s talk about rom-coms for a sec. Romantic comedies often depict a straight woman in the “getting back to me” phase, with men being portrayed as less emotionally complex. The narrative typically involves the woman’s taking time for herself, going on a trip, dating again, or experiencing some wacky misadventures before meeting her next partner. Alternatively, she may end up living happily ever after, but alone, in a state of self-acceptance, independence, and strength.

Welp. It’s a wonderful fantasy, but it isn’t reality.

I was not prepared. I too thought it would be a rom-com. I booked retreats. I searched for myself. I practiced yoga. I meditated. I “got back to me.” Well, sorta. Ending my relationship forced me to (again) confront a variety of past, present, and future challenges. It was an algebraic equation: Childhood + trauma + being gay + family estrangement / breakup = prolonged grief. What’s the equation for your context?

It’s usually childhood + trauma + personal identity + social community + career + financial safety + access to resources and healthcare. It is important to acknowledge all the factors present during any life transition, as neglecting one of them could result in leaving out a significant piece of your story.

This isn’t some “happily ever after” love story. I’ve been single since Alex and I broke up. I wanted him back on several occasions, but only when he didn’t want me back. I still think about him every day. I still dream about him at night.

I’ve been alone for a long time. And it’s hard.

I have had great success with work. I’ve made new friends. And my self-confidence? I finally know who I am, am confident, and have landed on a self-definition I can say I genuinely like. But I remain stuck romantically. Everyone I date frustrates me. No one communicates. It seems impossible to get someone interested to the point where they’ll stick around. Plus, it’s not just other people. It’s me. I haven’t felt something in a long time.

Birthdays and holidays have been absolutely awful. They are only reminders of my loss and loneliness. My first Christmas without Alex was terrible. I of course spent it with Alex; we cried. His family expressed their wish that we remain together. Alex and I had sex. It was a mess. Nevertheless, I am glad I spent that time with them. They still felt like my family. He still felt like my family.

Subsequent holidays were just as hard. I dreaded them. I missed his family (and still do). I missed our routines. I missed having someone to surprise, to go holiday shopping with for cute gifts. To buy beautiful wrapping paper and fancy bows. (I used to go all out.) The absence of such moments had left a void; I missed them dearly. Alex felt the same way, and during these times of the year, my yearning for these shared experiences was particularly acute.

OMG and don’t even get me started on Valentine’s Day! Alex and I had this tradition where we would make sushi and exchange presents. It was very sweet, and I used to look forward to it. So, I wasn’t prepared for what it would be like to be an observer and not a participant on this stupid holiday. It really sucked.

I still miss Alex often. It’s not just him that I miss. It’s the metaphor. It’s the life we had. It’s being able to say “we.” “We” are doing this, “we” are visiting friends, “we” are going to France this summer. Instead of, “I booked flights alone. I don’t know who I am going with yet.”

Whenever I talk to people about these feelings, they’re quick to say, “Do you think you’re over it?” When they do, I’ll scream inside while politely saying, “I think so.” But my relationship with Alex played such a huge role in my life that I’m not sure how one gets over something like that.

I know they’re thinking, Wow, he is still so not over it.

But we don’t get over loss; we move through it, but the loss stays with us. If you lose a family member, do you simply move on and get over it? No. Your life changes. You add to your life, and the loss evolves into something smaller and more manageable, something you may not even think about very much. But the loss remains. Alex was my family, and losing him was significant. Will I “move on”? Will meeting someone new alter my perspective on my relationship with him? Undoubtedly, time and new experiences will bring healing and change. Nonetheless, the memories of our time together will always remain with me.

It’s undeniably hard to be alone, yet culture, family, and friends rarely provide us with the space to navigate the emotional difficulties that accompany single life. Instead, there are all those reductive phrases that convey implicit judgment—comments like “You should enjoy being single” or “Maybe you need to love yourself more.” They are only reminders of society’s expectations regarding independence and grief rather than empathy.

Some people do in fact “move on,” no longer feeling preoccupied by thoughts of their ex. Others don’t. Neither response is inherently “healthier” than the other. You might think, Well, I would choose never to think about them again . But our feelings aren’t a matter of choice. We have to accept where we are, tolerate it, and resist the urge to judge ourselves against some imagined ideal. It’s a flawed assumption to think that if you stop thinking about your ex, your life will automatically improve. Life will remain complex and challenging regardless of who occupies your thoughts.

It’s often through (not around) pain and heartbreak that we learn the most about ourselves and what it means to be alive. While ending my relationship was difficult, discovering who I was as an independent person without any relationship to shape my identity was even more challenging. This is where I became myself.

Excerpted from  HOW TO LOVE SOMEONE WITHOUT LOSING YOUR MIND  by Todd Baratz. Copyright © 2024 by  Todd Baratz . Used by permission of  Rodale Books , an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.  All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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When a romance ends, can a friendship grow? NPR listeners weigh in

Malaka Gharib

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Is it ever a good idea to stay friends with an ex?

Last month, Life Kit asked our audience this question as part of a story and podcast episode on the topic . If you share kids or pets, it might make sense, say our relationship experts. But steer clear if you were in an abusive relationship or still have feelings for the other person.

How to decide whether to stay friends with an ex

Dozens of listeners wrote to us with their thoughts on the subject. Their stories illustrate the wide range of possibilities that can come when a romance ends. Some said their ex was their best friend. Some said they had to stay cordial for practical purposes. Others said they realized ... they didn't want to be friends at all!

These responses have been edited for length and clarity.

‘We still live together’

My ex and I are not only good friends, but we still live together under the same roof and co-parent our 13-year-old son.

When we got divorced in 2015, we decided to stay in the same house together. Housing is expensive in California. We'd each take a huge financial hit if we had to sell our home and find our own places to live.

Can therapy save their friendship?

We also didn't want to split time with our son, who was 5 years old at the time. With this arrangement, we could co-parent more effectively and see our son every day. We worked out a custody agreement that clearly outlined when each of us would be responsible for our son and his care. Now, almost 9 years later, my ex and I are very close. But no, we're not getting back together.

Yes, dating has been hard. Who wants to date a man who still lives with his ex? But the pros far outweigh the cons. --Brian Gonzales

‘My ex-wife is my best friend'

I’ve been divorced from my ex-wife for 22 years. We have two children, a son and daughter who are now grown and live close by.

For a long time after the divorce, I was hurt, angry and lost. But after looking back on hurtful things I said and did, I better understood her perspective. I needed to mature more.

5 things to remember when a friendship ends

Very slowly, we began to rely on each other for help. She developed health issues and went on disability. Today, my ex-wife is my best friend. We advise each other on many facets of life, from dealing with siblings to home repair. We celebrate family events together with our kids and their significant others. We are now very proud grandparents of one precocious 2 year old, the joy of our lives.

It feels good not to be wrought with bitterness and anger over a failed marriage. --Todd Scheler 

‘I want little contact with my ex’

My (now) ex-wife and I divorced this January. We were together for 34 years and raised two sons, who are now 33 and 28.

For the sake of our children and to honor our years together, we both intend to maintain an amicable relationship. But I am not sure what the shape of that relationship will look like going forward.

For the time being, I want as little contact with my ex as possible. I need the psychological space to discover who I am in 2024 as a recently divorced 67 year old. And I want to allow the feelings and thoughts about the dissolution of our family and divorce to settle. --Bill Cooper

‘I wish he were a tiny bit miserable’

Six months ago, my husband of 8 years and partner of 21 years divorced me. He said he still wanted me in his life, but as a friend.

We are in regular contact and meet up a couple times a week. But I'll be honest: it has been difficult seeing him just pick up and move on while I am still coming to terms with everything. I want him to be happy, but at the same time I wish he were a tiny bit miserable.

The fact that we have a pretty small circle of friends doesn't help. When I see him with a mutual friend, they discuss people in their lives, lives which seem to include me less and less. It leaves me feeling like a third wheel. --David Lantrip

P.S. Make sure your readers know I'm quite a catch. And obviously single.

For more relationship advice (plus health, finance and parenting tips and more), subscribe to Life Kit’s newsletter . 

‘He believed we’d continue to be best friends’

When my 15-year relationship was ending, my partner -- who was in the midst of making himself my ex -- said he firmly believed we’d continue to be best friends.

All of a sudden, I blurted out, “but I’m not friends with people of your caliber.”

It’s fascinating to realize that the person who you entered the relationship with can become someone you wouldn’t choose to know now. This helped me stand in the present moment, knowing one thing with certainty. -- Maya Drozdz

‘It created something beautiful’

My ex and I were not right for each other romantically and had a bad breakup full of mistrust, jealousy and sour moments.

Still, I wanted to become friends again. We both are queer and felt a lot of pressure to become friends for the sake of our friend group. So I decided to forgive my ex for everything that went wrong. It backfired so bad that we didn’t talk for years after.

It was during COVID that we reconnected. We were living in the same city. I had gotten married to another woman. My ex and my wife met for the first time shortly after.

We had long talks about how we could be better friends and have a meaningful relationship. My wife, my ex and I dance together and have adventures together. When I was pregnant, my ex was my support person. My ex is now part of my chosen family.

This didn’t happen overnight. Time gave us the space to heal from our wounds and have many conversations about how we want to move forward together. It created something even more unexpectedly beautiful. --LaKecia Farmer

Thank you to everyone who took the time to email Life Kit with your submission. Sign up for our weekly newsletter to take part in reader-generated stories like this one.   

This story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].

Listen to Life Kit on  Apple Podcasts  and  Spotify , and sign up for our  newsletter .

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Hello Positive Mindset

Our Favorite Weekend Getaways: Quick and Affordable Family Trips

Posted: June 14, 2024 | Last updated: June 14, 2024

As a mom to three energetic boys and a husband who’s always up for an adventure, finding budget-friendly weekend escapes is a must. We all need a break from the daily grind, and what better way to recharge than a quick, affordable getaway? After gathering recommendations from friends, family, and online pals, I’ve compiled a list of our favorite destinations that promise fun, relaxation, and adventure without straining your budget.

1. Shenandoah National Park, Virginia – A Family Favorite

Our personal favorite, Shenandoah National Park, is a haven for families looking to immerse themselves in nature. Just a short drive from Washington D.C., the park offers stunning views of the Blue Ridge Mountains and numerous hiking trails. Tip: Visit in fall to see the spectacular autumn colors!

2. Tybee Island, Georgia – A Coastal Retreat

Thanks to a friend’s suggestion, we discovered Tybee Island. It’s perfect for families who enjoy the beach but want to avoid the crowds of more popular destinations. The island’s laid-back vibe and warm waters make it ideal for a relaxing weekend. Budget Tip: Pack a picnic to save on meals and enjoy the beach longer!

3. San Antonio Missions, Texas – Historical Exploration

A gem suggested by an online pal, the San Antonio Missions National Historical Park offers a peek into early Spanish history with plenty of educational trails and activities for kids. Tip: Entry is free, and the park often hosts special events, so check the calendar before you go!

4. Sandia Mountains, Albuquerque, New Mexico

Just outside Albuquerque, the Sandia Mountains are perfect for families who love the outdoors. The tramway to the peak provides stunning views that are worth the trip. Tip: Hiking in the early morning or late afternoon avoids the midday heat.

5. Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada

Recommended by a family member, Lake Tahoe is known for its clear waters and beautiful landscapes. It’s a great spot for water sports and hiking. Budget Tip: Visit during the shoulder seasons in late spring or early fall for the best deals on accommodations.

6. Nashville, Tennessee – Music and Parks

While Nashville is famed for its music scene, its parks and green spaces offer a peaceful escape from the city’s hustle. Tip: The city’s bike share program is an affordable way to explore the area.

7. Cape Cod, Massachusetts – Serene Beaches

Cape Cod’s quaint towns and beautiful beaches are perfect for a low-key family weekend. Tip: Traveling before Memorial Day or after Labor Day can offer quieter visits and lower prices.

8. Everglades, Florida – Adventure Awaits

This vast national park is an exciting spot for wildlife enthusiasts and adventurous families. Tip: Guided airboat tours can be pricey, so look for group deals or family discounts.

9. Gettysburg, Pennsylvania – A Walk Through History

This historic site is a great educational outing that doesn’t cost much. Budget Tip: Many of the museums and tours are free, so take advantage of these offerings.

10. Acadia National Park, Maine – Another Personal Favorite

Acadia is a place we return to often. The park’s natural beauty and the variety of outdoor activities make it an ideal spot for active families. Tip: Plan your visit around park ranger-led activities, which are both fun and educational.

11. Museums of Chicago, Illinois

Chicago’s museums are world-class and, on certain days, they offer free admission. Tip: Check out city passes that offer discounts on multiple attractions.

12. Science Center in St. Louis, Missouri

This is one of the kids’ favorites and it’s free! The educational exhibits keep them engaged for hours. Tip: Parking is also free, making it a super budget-friendly outing.

13. Freedom Trail, Boston, Massachusetts

Boston’s Freedom Trail is a perfect blend of history and exercise. Tip: Wear comfortable shoes as it’s a walking-intensive experience.

14. Oregon Coast

Recommended by a cousin, the Oregon Coast’s rugged beauty is breathtaking. Tip: Many of the small coastal towns offer budget-friendly accommodations with ocean views.

15. Boulder, Colorado – My Top Pick

The great outdoors doesn’t get better than Boulder. We love the city for its hiking paths and vibrant community atmosphere. Tip: The city often hosts free cultural festivals, so check the local calendar.

16. Pike Place Market, Seattle, Washington

A vibrant, must-visit spot with endless food and craft stalls to explore. Tip: Samples are plentiful, so it’s a great place to snack and save on a meal.

17. Amish Country, Lancaster, Pennsylvania

This unique destination offers a glimpse into a different way of life. Budget Tip: Local bakeries and markets sell delicious, inexpensive homemade goods.

18. Space Center Houston, Texas

This awe-inspiring center is a hit with kids who dream of space travel. Tip: Buying tickets online in advance can save you money.

19. Asheville and the Blue Ridge Parkway, North Carolina

Asheville’s vibrant arts scene and the scenic parkway are perfect for families looking for culture and nature. Tip: Many of Asheville’s galleries offer free entry.

20. Joshua Tree National Park, California

The stark beauty of the desert landscape is magical. Camping under the stars here is an unforgettable experience. Tip: National Park fees are per vehicle, so it’s cost-effective for the whole family.

Making Memories on a Budget

These getaway ideas showcase that fun, educational, and relaxing trips don’t have to drain your finances. With a little planning and some insider tips, your next family adventure is just a weekend away. Safe travels!

America’s Spiritual Revolution: Turning Away from Christianity to Embrace Alternatives

As church attendance declines, Americans are exploring diverse spiritual paths, from stargazing druids to unconventional deities like Wi-Fi gods and extraterrestrials. Explore the quirky and sometimes controversial new religions capturing attention as people seek meaning beyond traditional Christianity. America’s Spiritual Revolution: Turning Away from Christianity to Embrace Alternatives

25 Must-Try Global Delicacies

From Bangkok’s bustling streets to Parisian cafes, every corner of the world offers something special for your taste buds. And you don’t have to travel far; even in the USA, you can find a world of flavors. Here are 25 global delicacies every foodie should try, including some local favorites! 25 Must-Try Global Delicacies

16 Affectionate Gestures to Keep the Romance Alive

Sustaining romance in a relationship needs deliberate actions and research-backed gestures to foster intimacy. Here are 16 evidence-based romantic gestures, with steps to integrate them into your relationship and revive the spark. 16 Affectionate Gestures to Keep the Romance Alive

21 Top Christian Attractions to Explore in the U.S.

The U.S. is rich in spiritual destinations, offering awe-inspiring sites for both believers and curious travelers. Explore the 21 most popular Christian attractions across the country, where architecture, history, and faith converge. 21 Top Christian Attractions to Explore in the U.S.

The post Our Favorite Weekend Getaways: Quick and Affordable Family Trips first appeared on Hello Positive Mindset .

Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / ORION PRODUCTION.

For transparency, this content was partly developed with AI assistance and carefully curated by an experienced editor to be informative and ensure accuracy.

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