Synonyms of grief

  • as in sorrow
  • as in frustration
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Thesaurus Definition of grief

Synonyms & Similar Words

  • sorrowfulness
  • unhappiness
  • dolefulness
  • wretchedness
  • heartsickness
  • despondency
  • melancholia
  • joylessness
  • miserableness
  • downheartedness
  • despondence
  • forlornness
  • desolateness
  • self - pity
  • self - reproach
  • disconsolateness
  • blue devils
  • dispiritedness

Antonyms & Near Antonyms

  • exhilaration
  • cheerfulness
  • blessedness
  • merrymaking
  • lightheartedness
  • hopefulness
  • blissfulness
  • gleefulness
  • gladsomeness
  • rapturousness
  • mirthfulness
  • contentment
  • contentedness
  • frustration
  • exasperation
  • displeasure
  • aggravation
  • indignation
  • irritability
  • botheration
  • disturbance
  • perturbation
  • irritableness
  • snappishness

Synonym Chooser

How is the word grief different from other nouns like it?

Some common synonyms of grief are anguish , regret , sorrow , and woe . While all these words mean "distress of mind," grief implies poignant sorrow for an immediate cause.

When is it sensible to use anguish instead of grief ?

The meanings of anguish and grief largely overlap; however, anguish suggests torturing grief or dread.

When would regret be a good substitute for grief ?

The words regret and grief are synonyms, but do differ in nuance. Specifically, regret implies pain caused by deep disappointment, fruitless longing, or unavailing remorse.

When is sorrow a more appropriate choice than grief ?

While the synonyms sorrow and grief are close in meaning, sorrow implies a sense of loss or a sense of guilt and remorse.

When might woe be a better fit than grief ?

The synonyms woe and grief are sometimes interchangeable, but woe is deep or inconsolable grief or misery.

Examples of grief in a Sentence

These examples are programmatically compiled from various online sources to illustrate current usage of the word 'grief.' Any opinions expressed in the examples do not represent those of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback about these examples.

Phrases Containing grief

  • come to grief

Thesaurus Entries Near grief

Cite this entry.

“Grief.” Merriam-Webster.com Thesaurus , Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/grief. Accessed 20 Aug. 2024.

More from Merriam-Webster on grief

Nglish: Translation of grief for Spanish Speakers

Britannica English: Translation of grief for Arabic Speakers

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noun as in mental suffering

Strongest matches

  • bereavement
  • unhappiness

Strong matches

  • despondency
  • lamentation
  • mortification
  • mournfulness
  • tribulation
  • wretchedness

Weak matches

Example Sentences

Some are funny and light, and others attempt to speak for a world that’s become mired in grief.

As a culture, we don’t seem to recognize the loss of intimacy or closeness in a relationship as legitimate grief.

Pitched from that home, he becomes home unto himself—home at the speed of light but slower than the speed of grief.

As Katz makes her way through the world, carrying grief and shame and secrets with her all the while, readers will hope for an easing of her burdens.

Flipping between the voices of the family members, Hobson depicts the lingering effects of trauma, and the way grief informs memory and love.

Though tissues are present and tears are not uncommon, the Dinner Parties are distinctly not grief counseling or group therapy.

It warps them and yet makes them, and horrifies them both as it does so—just as grief does.

Energy is sucked from them, the world around them becomes impossible—the Babadook of grief and loss exerts its force everywhere.

The grief in this house is extreme of course; this is a horror movie, after all.

Amelia says some truly terrible things to Sam, supposedly inhabited by the Babadook but really consumed in grief.

A little boy of four was moved to passionate grief at the sight of a dead dog taken from a pond.

They wanted Papa and Mamma, gone to Bombay beyond the seas, and their grief while it lasted was without remedy.

Then I hesitated no longer, but turned away and left her alone with her grief; it was not for me to comfort her.

Then waves of grief broke over her, and she sobbed convulsively; but still she shed no tears.

In a statuesque attitude, she sat, like Marius on the ruins of Carthage, or Patience on a monument smiling at grief.

Related Words

Words related to grief are not direct synonyms, but are associated with the word grief . Browse related words to learn more about word associations.

noun as in hurt condition; something that causes hurt

noun as in severe upset or pain

noun as in trouble

  • deep trouble
  • dire straits
  • disappointment
  • inconvenience
  • predicament

noun as in agony

  • third degree

noun as in calamity; unhappy conclusion

  • contretemps
  • culmination
  • devastation
  • misadventure
  • termination

Viewing 5 / 51 related words

From Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013 by the Philip Lief Group.

What’s Another Word for Grief? 18 Options Explained

Updated 08/28/2023

Published 08/11/2022

Joe Oliveto, BA in English

Joe Oliveto, BA in English

Contributing writer

Learn another word for grief when describing what you or someone else is experiencing after the loss of a loved one.

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Grief is perhaps the word English language speakers most often use when describing the feelings of deep sadness a person experiences after losing someone close to them. While it is acceptable to use grief to express the sadness one may experience for reasons besides death, most would associate grief with the sorrowful emotions that accompany the passing of a loved one.

Jump ahead to these sections:

What’s the best synonym for grief, what else can you call a grieving person, what’s another word for the grieving process.

However, grief is by no means the only word that can describe these feelings. If you’re looking for another word for grief, there are plenty of options from which to choose.

Maybe you’re writing a paper or story and want to find another word for grief to avoid sounding too repetitive. Maybe you’re writing a poem or song and grief doesn’t fit the rhythm or rhyme scheme. Perhaps you’re trying to figure out how to describe grief without actually using the word itself. Whatever your reasons, if you’re trying to think of another word for grief, this guide offers many suggestions.

A quick online search reveals plenty of thesauruses offering plenty of synonyms for grief. Not all the synonyms they suggest are ideal. The best synonyms for grief are:

1. Mourning

Grief can technically refer to a general feeling of sorrow. However, we often use it to describe the sorrow someone may feel after a death.

That’s why mourning may qualify as the best synonym for grief. Mourning also refers to the sadness we experience after someone we love has died. The only major difference between the two words is that mourning can also refer to the traditions people sometimes engage in after a death, such as wearing black.

That fact may help you determine whether you should use mourning or grief in a piece of writing. Suppose you want to specifically refer to both the emotions a person experiences after a death as well as the traditions they practice during this painful period. In that case, mourning may be the better word. Grief might be more acceptable if you're strictly referring to someone’s emotions.

Example: “He went through a period of mourning after the death of his partner.”

2. Bereave (or Bereavement)

Someone who is bereaved is someone who has lost someone very important to them. Bereave or bereavement can work as synonyms for grief because it’s common to use them specifically in association with losing someone due to death.

Example: “She is in a state of bereavement following her loved one’s untimely passing.”

Sorrow is slightly more general than the above examples. Someone can feel sorrow due to many different types of painful circumstances.

People often use sorrow as a more powerful word than “sadness” when describing the pain one feels after losing a loved one. For example, instead of saying that someone in mourning is sad, you might say they are sorrowful.

Example: “The tragedy brought tremendous sorrow to the hearts of the families left behind.”

Anguish is even more general than sorrow. However, it may still qualify as another word for grief because it refers to an experience of immense pain, which grief certainly is.

Example: “The untimely loss of their children left the family in anguish.”

5. Heartbreak

Most of us use heartbreak to describe how someone feels when a romantic relationship ends. That said, it is not unheard of to say that someone feeling grief is experiencing heartbreak or is heartbroken. We might be inclined to use this synonym for grief if the person we’re talking about was a close loved one of the deceased and not just a normal friend.

Example: “The heartbreak she felt after her lover’s death was immense.”

Woe is another somewhat vague synonym for grief because it only refers to great sadness. Some may also consider it a word that has fallen out of common usage. Still, it’s a reasonably strong synonym for grief sometimes.

An example of an instance where you might use woe in place of grief would be if you were writing a work of historical fiction about a grieving character. Saying they are “full of woe” could be a more period-appropriate way to explain your character's feelings.

Example: “The young man languished in woe for months following his betrothed’s passing.”

True, it’s a fairly generic synonym for grief, but it’s still an appropriate one. Perhaps more importantly, it’s an honest one, which is why it earns a spot on this list. Sometimes, the best synonym for grief is the one that bluntly states what someone is going through: a feeling of deep sadness.

Example: “It is with great sadness that we report the passing of our beloved grandfather.”

Despair is a very specific synonym for grief. It’s not ideal in all circumstances. However, when it is a suitable synonym for grief, it’s often the best one.

Despair specifically explains a sadness that is so great it leaves a person feeling hopeless. Not all people in grief feel that way. For those who do, though, words like grief or mourning may not be strong enough to convey just how deep and acute their pain is.

Example: “Losing his wife left the man in utter despair.”

In writing, words like “grieving person” or “griever” can sound somewhat clunky. Other (and, arguably, better) ways to describe someone experiencing grief include:

Because mourning is another word for grief, mourning is naturally another word for someone grieving. Although you can certainly use this word to describe a grieving person who is mourning the loss of someone who died weeks or months ago, the word mourner is very appropriate if you are describing a grieving person in attendance at a funeral, burial, or cremation.

Example: “The mourners attending the funeral were solemn throughout the occasion.”

10. Bereaved

The same principle applies here. Another word for grief is bereaved (or bereavement), so a person experiencing grief is someone who is bereaved.

Example: “The friends of the bereaved consoled them as best they could.”

To wail is to cry out in grief. Thus, some have used wailer as another word to describe a person in grief.

This usage is not particularly common in modern speech or writing, but it is sometimes appropriate to use in certain contexts. For example, you might use wailer to describe someone crying sorrowfully at a funeral.

Example: “A wailer at the burial expressed the emotions all others were feeling.”

Weeper is an alternative to wailer that you could use when describing a person engaging in an overt display of grief after a death.

Example: “A weeper at the grave cried out in agony.”

The grieving process consists of the emotional experiences one has in the days, weeks, months, and even years following the death of someone close. It can also consist of the various behaviors they may engage in during this period, many of which can reflect the pain they feel. Other words to use in place of “grieving process” include:

13. Mourning

Mourning is an interesting word. It can serve as another word for grief, but it can also serve as another word for the grieving process. This makes it a relatively versatile word to consider using in any piece of writing or speech in which you may describe someone struggling with difficult emotions for a time after losing a loved one.

Example: “Her mourning lasted for quite some time after her husband’s death.”

14. Bereavement

Like mourning, bereavement is another word that can both be a synonym for grief while also describing the grieving process.

Example: “His bereavement finally ended, though the experience had been arduous.”

16. Lamenting

To lament is to mourn. As such, lamenting is another word for the mourning or grieving process. It’s slightly outdated now, but that might be why you choose to use it. For instance, maybe you’re writing a story that takes place in the past, and you want to describe a character going through the stages of grief. In that context, lamenting might be the best choice of word.

Example: “Their lamenting for the lost soldiers would never truly end.”

Aching is an informal way to describe the grieving process. Still, you might find it more appropriate in some contexts for that very reason.

Aching strikes the core of someone’s emotional struggles when they are going through the grieving process. As it doesn’t formalize the experience in a clinical way like some other synonyms for the grieving process, it offers a blunt and honest means of describing the deep pain someone is experiencing as they struggle to cope with a profound loss.

Example: “Their aching after losing their friends defined that year for them.”

18. Sorrowing

Sorrowing serves a similar purpose as aching. It focuses on emotions.

That’s not always the intention you may have when describing the grieving process. For instance, if you were writing an academic paper describing the precise steps a person may go through when they are in grief, you might not want to use words like sorrowing or aching. They are too imprecise for your goals. You’re better off using formal phrases and words to ensure you clearly say what it is you’re trying to say.

On the other hand, if you’re writing a poem or story where your goal is specifically to convey the emotional experiences of your characters, a word like sorrowing could be a perfect choice. It gives your reader a sense of the pain a character is facing instead of merely saying what they’re going through. 

Example: “Her sorrowing would continue for the remainder of her own life.” 

Another Word for Grief? Several Options to Consider

Again, there are many reasons you may have for trying to find another word for grief. Hopefully, this list has given you some helpful ideas.

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  • Different Types Of Grief

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Grief and Travel

Grief and travel may seem like an unlikely combination, but when approached with intention and compassion (especially for yourself), they can intertwine to create a healing experience. You can navigate the summer season with resilience and grace by acknowledging grief, choosing the right destination, finding support, and embracing mindfulness. Remember, your journey through grief is unique, and it’s okay to take the time you need to heal. Travel can be a beautiful catalyst for growth—embrace the summer, honor your loved ones, and allow yourself to find solace and healing amidst the beauty of the world around you.

Acknowledging Grief:

Grief is a profoundly personal journey, and it’s essential to acknowledge and honor our emotions. It’s okay to feel a mix of sadness, longing, and even guilt while navigating the summer season. By permitting ourselves to grieve, we create space for healing and growth.

Choosing the Right Destination:

When planning a trip, choosing a destination that resonates with you emotionally is essential. Some may find solace in peaceful, natural surroundings, while others seek vibrant and bustling cities. Reflect on what feels right for you and select a place that allows you to connect with your emotions while offering the possibility of new experiences.

Travel Companions and Support:

Consider the company you keep on vacation. Surround yourself with understanding and compassionate people who can provide support during moments of vulnerability. Sharing your grief with trusted friends or family can help lighten the burden and create a safe space for open conversations.

Traveling with Kids:

Traveling with children can present unique challenges when navigating grief. Children, too, experience the loss of a loved one and may have their own set of emotions to process. It is essential to create an environment that allows for open communication, embraces their feelings, and balances grief and joy. By involving them in the planning process, offering familiarity and comfort, and seeking support, you can navigate the challenges of grief while creating meaningful and healing experiences for the entire family. Traveling together can foster resilience, strengthen familial bonds, and help children heal through the adventure of exploration.

Rituals and Memorials:

Honoring the memory of your loved one can be a healing component to your vacation and travels. Find ways to incorporate rituals or create memorials that allow you to pay tribute to their life. It could be as simple as lighting a candle or having a meal at a meaningful location. These acts can provide comfort and a sense of connection with your loved one who has passed.

Embracing Mindfulness:

Engaging in mindfulness practices while traveling can help anchor your emotions and bring a sense of calm amidst grief. Take moments to pause, breathe, and fully immerse yourself in the present. Whether it’s watching a sunrise, feeling the warmth of the sand between your toes, listening to a meditation, or appreciating the beauty of a new landscape, mindfulness can help.

Connecting with Others:

Although grief may make you feel isolated, connecting with others can be a powerful source of healing. Consider joining traveling grief support groups or seeking out local communities that share similar experiences. Engaging in conversations with others who understand your journey can provide immense comfort and the opportunity to gain new perspectives.

Allowing for Spontaneity:

While planning and preparing is essential, leaving room for spontaneity can open doors to unexpected healing moments. Let yourself embrace the uncertainty of travel. Allow chance encounters, new friendships, and unforeseen experiences to guide you towards healing and self-discovery.

Grief Travel: How Vacations Can Help To Cope With Grief

Grief and travel: understanding how vacation can heal grief.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a loved one; be it a partner, best friend, or family member.

After the death of someone dear, we can lose ourselves in sadness—grief can feel like an all-consuming vortex of sorrow.

Deciding to travel as a conscious way to grieve can pull us out of that isolation and provide insight, healing, transformation, relief, peace, and more.

Forcing ourselves to remain present and attentive as we navigate new surroundings in tandem with the ebb and flow of emotions can provide a necessary connection to the world around us.

Travel brings simple distractions that give us moments to retrain our attention on basic activities like buying train tickets, finding a hotel, hailing a taxi, and so forth. It can also be a significant component of mourning if travel includes activities designed to nurture our vulnerable spirits and honor the life of the loved one lost.

For several years, I helped others process grief during many group trips to Bali and taken time to grieve myself while traveling so intimately understand what’s possible.

Setting the Tone for Travel

If you plan to take a trip as a means to process death, planning specific activities can help you make the most of your experience. Reflect on things that might be important to see or do, allowing yourself to entertain the most basic to more elaborate options.

Dr. Karen Wyatt, a hospice physician and the founder of End-of-Life University Blog, defines six categories of grief travel to consider when making plans:

  • Restorative
  • Contemplative
  • Physically active
  • Commemorative
  • Informative

If you feel called to travel but are too overwhelmed to make plans, consider asking a friend or close family member to help with details or even join you on the trip.They can coordinate and book specifics, provide an outlet to share your emotions, be there to lift your spirits, and offer comfort.

Having someone you trust accompany you at this sensitive time can be just the added support you need to make this trip happen.

Below are some thoughts and ideas on each of Dr. Wyatt’s six categories listed above to help you plan your journey.

1. Restorative.

If you’re not ready to engage with the whole world around you, focus on spending time with others, or resume your day-to-day activities, staying with a friend or family member for a short while might be the haven needed. If this isn’t a possibility, traveling to a retreat designed explicitly around grief and loss can provide mindful and trained support.

During your deepest despair, a scenario where meals are provided, someone is available to listen compassionately, actively comfort in a type of comfort zone, or give you space to be alone is ideal.

Other restorative elements to consider including on your trip are music, journaling, and soothing fragrances.

  • Design a playlist on your device and pack headphones so you can easily tune in (and tune out) anywhere along your route.
  • Journaling—which can run the gamut of purging emotional pain, writing poetry, or sketching images—can be a healing lifeline.
  • Scents like lavender, sage, rosemary, cinnamon, or a personal favorite fragrance in the form of candles, essential oils, incense, and body products create an environment of tranquility and comfort. Andrea Oliveras, founder of the Toronto-based Ayurveda Rituals and leader in the wellness industry, shares, “Aromatics engage our senses with creative, evocative and inspirational infusions, reminding us that rejuvenation is our birthright."

Spa services and body treatments can be particularly restorative as therapeutic touch can feel extra-healing while mourning. Massage therapists are acutely aware of how releasing tension in the body can release emotional pain. As a result, they provide a supportive, judgment-free experience for clients to release trauma.

If you are further down the road from your loss and seek opportunities to find joy, moments of laughter along your journey can also be restorative.

Meenakshi Nagdeve, co-founder of Organic Facts, shares, “Laughter indeed is a medicine for all.” Nagdeve cites ten benefits of laughter, including boosting immunity, lowering blood pressure, reducing stress, and elevating overall mood. You can read her full list here .

2. Contemplative.

Grief is one of our greatest teachers. It cracks us open.—Ram Dass, Walking Each Other Home: Conversations on Loving and Dying

Honoring your feelings of loss through a mindful practice meant to bring about a state of peace and self-compassion can be a critical part of mourning. Adding an element such as meditation into your daily travel can be transformative.

Tris Thorp, a leading expert on emotional healing, recommends doing a 15-20 minute meditation that focuses specifically on visualizing your loved one and going through a six-step guided process. You can find her meditation process here .

Remember, meditation is a practice you can do as many times as you feel called. As Tris shares:

“The grieving process takes time. There is no quick or easy way out of the pain and suffering that we endure as a result of losing someone or something that we love dearly. It is important to feel the emotions as they are moving through us rather than avoiding or burying them. Pretending that we’re fine when we’re not is how we suppress emotional pain that will later show up as any number of physiological symptoms down the road.”

3. Physically active.

Many people work off intense emotions through physical activities. Planning things on your trip like hiking, biking, running to help physically release the emotional energy of loss can be a healthy outlet.

Consider looking up local activities popular in a region or country to try such as fencing, canoeing or kayaking, archery or similar. Endorphins (the brain’s “feel-good” chemicals) released during exercise combined with the focus of learning a new skill are beneficial, elevating mood, lowering tension and pain.

Yoga, in all its many forms, offers another avenue to release physical and psychological stress. Yoga has become quite popular worldwide and finding a class in the town, or even at the hotel you’re staying at might be a lot easier than you think. Additionally, online yoga classes are readily available wherever there is access to internet.

Giving yourself the gift of even twenty minutes of yoga before you venture out into everyday life can provide inner calm and centeredness.

4. Commemorative.

Planning a vacation to a spot where you shared special memories and commemorating that person through a ceremony or ritual can be very healing.

If your destination doesn't hold shared memories, I suggest finding a spot along your trip to design a ritual that honors you and your loved one. Your ceremony doesn’t have to be elaborate—although it can be if that’s what feels right, it only need be meaningful to you.

Here's a list of possibilities:

  • Light a candle in a church or temple
  • Write a letter to your loved one—share everything that feels unsaid or needed—and then (safely) burn it
  • Release your loved one’s favorite flowers along a river
  • Say a prayer you’ve prepared while burning sage.

Organizing anything to honor your loss can bring about relief and peace, and can be the best thing for you.

5. Informative.

Sometimes a loved one passes away, and we realize we have unanswered questions. Perhaps it’s the family history you seek or learning firsthand details about the town, country, or region where your relative or ancestors originated.

In arranging a trip of discovery, doing research, and planning to maximize your experience is vital. Before you go, find out as much as you can from living relatives, investigate military records, visit your local library and do online searches, including genealogy websites.

While you can plan your trip unaided, Trip Savvy is an excellent resource. Trip Savvy connects you with travel companies that specialize in genealogical vacations to make the most of your time away.

Sometimes, grief can lead us to a completely new place, a new life, a new direction—even a new career, if we are open to it.

6. Intuitive.

Maybe you know you want to travel, but it’s not something you’d like to plan out entirely in advance. It’s okay to allow yourself to take a trip that has little or no organization.

If you’re the kind of person that is revitalized by the unknown, perhaps letting yourself wander the earth is the exact medicine your grief needs. Being present and listening to your intuition can lead to surprising and enriching moments that help you process the myriad of emotions that arise while grieving. Even if most of your trip is planned out, consider leaving some time free to explore and get “lost” in a city.

When Theodora Blanchfield, writer/journalist/brand specialist, lost her mom to cancer, she decided to take a “grief-cation,” as she calls it, to Los Angeles. When she tried unsuccessfully to ease her grief through organized activities, she decided to be open to unplanned moments.

Theodora shares the most memorable experience on her grief-cation was…

“a teary conversation with my Lyft driver back to the airport. She asked about my family, and I blurted out that I’d just lost my mom. As we inched through LA traffic, she told me she’d lost her mom recently, too. I ugly cried, a heaving, snotty mess in the back of her car, missing my mom but also feeling the strength and power of this bond with a Lyft driver I’d probably never see again.”

Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts; it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind. – Anthony Bourdain

Planning a special trip after losing a loved one can be an essential part of the grief process and grief journey. Traveling helps remind us that the world is filled with meaning, love, and beauty.

By shedding regular routines and familiar environments, there are opportunities to see our loss through a different lens with unique insights and perspectives of our memories. I’ve had some of my greatest epiphanies about life and relationships while traveling.

Grief isn’t something we get over or get past, but it is something we can get through. Travel can be a healthy and healing coping mechanism. Know that your loved one wants you to live your life fully, find happiness, and not be in a continual state of suffering.

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How travel helps me cope with grief

Emma Sparks

Aug 10, 2019 • 5 min read

A woman wearing sunglasses sits in a jeep looking out over a lake in Udawalawe, Sri Lanka. There is a small group of elephants on the other side of the lake.

Travel can help you to see the bigger picture when grieving © Emma Sparks / Lonely Planet

Whether it’s the novelty of new experiences, overcoming challenges on the road or connecting with people from different cultures, travel has the power to make us feel good. Experiencing the world from a new perspective is known to boost emotional well-being and is often touted as a remedy for heartbreak and depression. But what about grief?

A ‘griefcation’ won’t cure the pain you feel after the death of a loved one, but meaningful travels might help you cope. Since losing my dad at 17, travel has helped me in myriad ways, here are just a few of them.

A group of people working together to plant a tree; travel and grief

Travel gives me a sense of purpose

When the future you thought you’d have is snatched away, it’s natural to feel lost. There is no map in the world that will get you back to where you want to be. Eventually, a sense of normality resumes – the world keeps turning, despite everything – but grief doesn’t just disappear. It’s a lifelong journey, full of ups, downs, emotional dead ends and long, lonely roads; sometimes you feel like you’re getting somewhere, only to end up back where you started.

After a while spent drifting on autopilot, I decided to listen to my inner GPS. I needed something to aim for, to shake off my sorrow. Working on a barn restoration project in rural Provence kept my body busy and mind distracted; solo travel across multiple continents saw my self-worth soar; and my continuing pursuit of the world’s most breathtaking landscapes reminds me that life, however painful it can be, is undeniably beautiful.

A shot of a group of four backpackers taken from behind. They all carry backpacks and have sleeping bags and various other items as they look out over a rural landscape; travel and grief

Travel keeps my worries and fears in check

I was a terrible worrier as a child. After the loss of a close family friend it got worse, and separation anxiety saw me miss countless discos and sleepovers in favour of staying close to my parents. I grew out of that, but after my dad’s fatal car accident my nerves frayed for good. I am forever on high alert – particularly when it comes to transport, which makes travel interesting...

So what to do with a new, irrational fear of death? I decided to force it into submission on turbulent flights, cliff-top bus journeys and perilous boat rides, of course. It might seem counterintuitive, but the more I expose myself to the things I fear, the better I am at handling the heart-pounding, mind-racing ‘what-ifs’ that lurk behind my otherwise positive outlook.

On the bright side, missed trains and lost passports don’t bother me at all – trivial concerns simply aren’t worth stressing over anymore.

Two women sit together on a boat, looking out over the water. One is wearing sunglasses while the other looks through an SLR camera, pointing off the boat; travel and grief.

Travel strengthens my support network

Relaxation, good food and amazing views – key components of any holiday – can do wonders for the bereaved. Time away from old haunts and everyday routines makes space for processing buried feelings and focusing on healing, consciously or subconsciously.

Over the years, I’ve found trips with close friends and family to be particularly fortifying; tipsy heart to hearts, shared special moments and a perfectly timed hand squeeze when the inevitable ‘I wish he was here’ moments arise can be cathartic and deepen bonds. Making new, joyful memories with people you care about is an essential part of moving on – so why not make them in Paris , Perth or Peru ?

Two people stand on a rocky peak surrounded by more mountains and water; travel and grief

Travel can be a fitting tribute

The anniversary of Dad’s accident brings with it poignant memories and a reminder of how long it has been since he made me laugh. In 2015, with the 10th anniversary looming, I decided to do something to honour him. He’d always been fascinated with mountains, so I briefly pondered trekking to Everest Base Camp before regaining my senses (sort of) and settling on the Three Peaks Challenge, a race to summit the highest mountains in Scotland , England and Wales in just 24 hours.

Raising money for charity in Dad’s name and training for the feat ahead provided the perfect distraction during a difficult time – and I felt more fit and focused than I had in years. While the challenge itself was exhausting (almost getting lost on Scafell Pike at 3am in horizontal, pelting rain was particularly tough), when I dragged my blistered feet and jelly legs to the summit of the third and final mountain, Mount Snowdon, on the drizzly dawn of my least favourite day of the year, I felt immense pride. And I knew Dad would be proud of me too.

A woman wearing sunglasses sits in a jeep looking out over a lake in Udawalawe, Sri Lanka. There is a small group of elephants on the other side of the lake; travel and grief.

Travel eases existential woes

When you experience a trauma, the world ceases to make sense. Why me? Why now? What’s the point of it all?

I don’t have the answers to these questions, although I suspect it’s all just luck of the draw. Over time, as I came to terms with my dad’s death, I realised there was a far more pressing question to ask myself: how are you going to make the most of the rest of your time on Earth?

You can’t live every day like it’s your last – if I did I’d be broke, exhausted and probably in prison – but you can do what makes you truly happy as often as possible. In fact, I feel a duty to do so. For me, that means embracing the unpredictable: traversing unfamiliar landscapes, trying weird and wonderful foods, and putting trust in strangers; it means skydiving in Hawaii , snorkelling in Fiji and sleeping under the stars in Australia ; getting lost on mountains and going backpacking with my mum. Ultimately, it means seizing the day – because life is short and there is so much I still want to see.

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Good Grief Travel

Grief Travel

Introduction:

In the wake of loss, the journey through grief can be as arduous as it is deeply personal. Increasingly, individuals are turning to an unconventional yet profoundly therapeutic approach: grief travel. This concept, though not new, has gained recognition as a powerful tool in navigating the complex pathways of mourning. From the serene beaches of Bali to the ancient pilgrimage routes of Spain, grief travel transcends conventional tourism, offering solace in the face of sorrow.

Understanding Grief Travel:

Grief travel is more than a mere getaway; it’s a purposeful journey embarked upon during or after the grieving process. Unlike typical vacations aimed at leisure and escapism, grief travel is a quest for healing, offering a change in scenery that can provide a new perspective on loss and life.

Historical and Cultural Context:

Throughout history, various cultures have integrated travel into their mourning practices. The Aboriginal “Walkabout,” a rite of passage in Australian Indigenous culture, is a form of grief travel, offering space for reflection and connection with the natural world. Similarly, many undertake the Camino de Santiago in Spain, a pilgrimage that for some, serves as a path to process grief and find peace.

Psychological Benefits of Grief Travel:

Psychologists suggest that changing environments can significantly aid those in mourning. The act of traveling can serve as a healthy distraction, allowing for a break from the environment associated with loss. The exposure to different cultures and natural landscapes can also provide therapeutic benefits, offering tranquility and a new perspective on life’s challenges.

Personal Stories:

Planning a Grief Travel Experience:

When planning a grief travel journey, consider destinations that resonate personally. Some may find peace in the quiet of nature, while others might seek the comfort of a bustling city. It’s also important to decide whether to embark on this journey alone or with others. Traveling with a support group or even just a close friend can provide a sense of security and shared understanding.

Precautions and Considerations:

While grief travel can be beneficial, it’s not a panacea for the pain of loss. It’s essential to be mentally and emotionally prepared for the journey and to recognize that grief can surface in unexpected ways. Consulting with a therapist before and after the trip can provide additional support and help integrate the experience into one’s healing process.

Conclusion:

Grief travel offers a unique pathway through the maze of mourning. It’s not about escaping grief, but rather about embracing it in a different setting, one that can offer new insights and a sense of peace. For those navigating the turbulent waters of loss, it may be a voyage worth considering.

#GriefJourney, #HealingTravel, #TravelTherapy, #GriefAndExplore, #WanderThroughGrief, #TravelingThroughLoss, #JourneyToHealing, #GriefAway, #TravelWithHeartache, #GrievingAndWandering, #grieftravel, #goodgrieftravel

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A Spreadsheet for Grief?

A Spreadsheet for Grief?

My husband and I are starting over in the desert, having sold the house in Portland where we raised our daughter. It’s taken us five years to gather the energy and the courage to leave it behind. To be ready to meet new people and answer the inevitable question, “Do you have any children?” without choking up.

My 20-year-old daughter died by suicide in the spring of her sophomore year at college. Six months later, when winter’s heavy clouds returned to shed bitter tears every day, I was depleted and in despair. I visited my sister in California to escape the gloomy skies and the realities of my new life.

On a bright but cool morning, my sister joined me, with a cup of coffee in hand, next to the fireplace. She leaned towards me and inquired, “How are you doing these days? Is it getting any easier?”

It took a moment to find the words. “I’m worn out and can’t believe how much I still have to do. I feel as if I’m a character in one of those hero journeys; every day I pass through a gate into a strange world where I have to slay a dragon. But after I do, there’s another, more forbidding gate, and behind it, a more ferocious dragon.”

I turned my head to look out the window and hide the first tears of the day. “And I miss her so much, every minute of every day.”

The following week, back in Oregon, I admitted to my therapist, “I’m worried about myself. I’m having nightmares every night and I struggle to get out of bed in the morning.” I shared my hero’s journey analogy and my anxiety at the dragons lurking behind the upcoming holiday gates.

“But I have a crazy idea that I think might help.” I imagined Frodo with his magic sword Sting , King Arthur with Excalibur , and Like Skywalker with his green lightsaber.

My therapist shifted in her chair, “What do you have in mind?”

“I’m thinking of a spreadsheet. If I write down everything I still have to do, I won’t have to keep it all in my head. I can check off items as I complete them. That may give me a sense of progress. A sense of hope.”

I’d been a project manager in large companies and, more recently, in non-profits for 25 years. I treated every effort, both at work and at home, as a project. A vacation, a wedding, a house remodel, all projects. So, I thought, why not treat grief as a project too?

Spreadsheets are one of the tools that I rely on for every project. When I arrange a list of tasks in rows and columns, with bold headers, and some italics for emphasis, I see what I need to do. And usually, I discover aspects of the project that I might have overlooked.

I began by listing all the horrible death-related tasks before me. Tasks that triggered panic attacks and sleepless nights. Column A became Death Shit , as my husband called it.

A traumatic death wreaks havoc on the mind and body, so I also had a long list of medical appointments and treatments, such as acupuncture and grief therapy. I created Column B, labeled Self-Care .

When I reviewed the spreadsheet with my therapist, I wondered, what reason do I have to get out of bed for days filled with Death Shit and Self Care ?

“I need something to look forward to and some breaks from all the Death Shit,” I told her.

Her eyes locked on mine, “You’ve mentioned that you love to travel. Imagine that you could go anywhere, take a break and get refreshed. Where would you choose?”

The lively, adventurous woman I used to be squeezed in to take my seat on the couch. “Oh, I have a long list. Birding in South America for sure, another walking trip with my friend Chris, and I’d love to visit a tropical island with a college roommate I haven’t seen in years.” I added a new column, Joy and Fulfillment , that becamea bucket list of sorts – places to visit, classes that intrigued me, and creative projects, like writing, to fill my soul.

First, I tackled a task that I wished to avoid. My therapist reminded me that facing difficult situations head-on builds strength and resilience. Then, I selected an item from the Joy and Fulfillment list as a reward. For months, the rewards were joyless, but I went through the motions anyway.

About two years after my daughter’s death, I rewarded myself with a bucket-list trip to the Amazon rainforest. I snuck out of my room during rest time and followed a trail to a ceiba tree, shaped like a gigantic head of broccoli, towering above the dense tangle of jungle trees and vines. I searched for birds in flamboyant attire among the thick layers of bromeliads and orchids on branches overhead. Many indigenous tribes consider the ceiba tree to be the sacred tree of life, connecting the earth to the heavens. I leaned against the massive roots buttressing the trunk and sank into her embrace. Birds chatted high above, branches waved rhythmically in the wind, and the damp scent of jungle shocked my heart into beating again. Tears, mixed with sweat, trickled down my cheeks. I registered a forgotten sensation – I was enjoying myself again .

Now, I wake up every morning to bright desert light. I’ve passed through more gates than I care to count, and I’ve slayed some terrifying dragons, but I rarely have panic attacks or nightmares, and I no longer cry every day. I’ve committed to self - careactivities, such as yoga and acupuncture, and I’ve decided that I don’t have to accomplish every task on the Death Shit list – some are still too daunting to face.

I accept that the hole in my heart will never be filled, and I will walk with grief at my side for the rest of my days. But I know that my daughter doesn’t want me to suffer, and I see her smile when I search the trees for a new bird, learn about the cacti in the desert, and try my hand at writing. And I smile too at the memory of the project manager who was just crazy enough, and just brave enough, to use a spreadsheet as her secret weapon for grief.

About the Author

Karen Howe raised a daughter who was adopted from China as a toddler. She enjoys tramping beneath mossy fir and hemlock trees during summers and amongst ancient Saguaro cacti in winters. In retirement she’s trying her hand at personal essays that explore grief, loss, and the healing gifts of the natural world.

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Grief synonyms

What is another word for grief .

  • sorrow sadness, distress
  • heartache sorrow, sadness
  • woe sorrow, sadness
  • heartbreak sadness, sorrow
  • misery sorrow, sadness
  • sadness sorrow, mental condition
  • affliction trouble, state
  • anguish feeling, distress
  • distress feeling, affliction
  • pain distress, feeling
  • trouble misery, frustration
  • mourning affliction, misery
  • despair gloom, mental suffering
  • tribulation trouble, state
  • agony feeling, distress
  • melancholy mental condition, mental suffering
  • desolation gloom, mental suffering
  • dejection mental condition, melancholy
  • regret remorse, mental suffering
  • unhappiness mental condition, melancholy
  • annoyance irritation, trouble
  • remorse mental suffering
  • suffering feeling, distress
  • vexation trouble, frustration
  • despondency mental condition, melancholy
  • gloom melancholy
  • trial trouble, state
  • bereavement mourning
  • depression melancholy, hopelessness
  • lamentation mourning

Synonyms for grief

60 Thoughtful Condolence Messages to Send to Family or Friends

Let these notes be a source of comfort for those mourning.

preview for 15 Thoughtful Condolence Messages

Condolence Messages for a Colleague

Condolence messages for someone who lost a parent, condolence messages for someone who lost a spouse, condolence messages to someone who lost a sibling, condolence messages for someone who lost a child.

“Handwritten notes are one of the most personal forms of communication,” says Tanea Smith, owner of She’s Got Papers , an online stationery boutique. “The recipient may forget the day you called or visited but your card is a keepsake. It will be kept and reread.”

Need some help putting pen to paper? Here are a few things to remember next time you go to write one.

How to Write a Condolence Message

Whether it’s a friend coping with the sudden loss of a spouse or a colleague whose mom recently passed, you can't go wrong expressing heartfelt sentiments, like the ones listed below, along with an authentic and a personal memory or anecdote. But more importantly, there are some things you shouldn’t do.

“Never write, ‘They're in a better place and there's no more pain,’” says Smith. “While you may feel this way, any phrase that brings attention to the death can produce more grief and sadness. You want your words to do the opposite, not highlighting the death but celebrating the life… just be sure to avoid writing things that could be upsetting or misinterpreted.”

Shirley Enebrad, an author and certified grief recovery specialist agrees. “Never make it about you and your experience with loss,” she says. “Focus on the griever and his or her feelings. Absolutely never say, "I know how you feel.” Additionally, it’s always best not to ask how you can help. “Do not ask them to contact you if they need anything,” Enebrad says.

Also, remember to send your sympathy card within the first couple of weeks. However, if you miss that opportunity, it’s never too late. In fact, it might have a positive impact on the grieving recipient who may feel like everyone has moved on while they’re still grappling with their loss.

Condolence Messages for a Friend

  • “I know there are no words that can ease your pain. Just know that I’ll always be here for you no matter what.”
  • “Thinking of you during this difficult time.”
  • “Sending healing prayers and comfort during this tough time.”
  • “You’re not alone. I’m here to be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to anything that you may want to share.”
  • “My heart goes out to you for the loss of your dear friend. I know how much she meant to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.”
  • “I cannot imagine the pain and heartache you’re feeling. I am praying for your peace and comfort.”
  • “Losing someone so close is so hard. I will be here to support you at any time and any hour. Sending you so much love.
  • “I know that grief comes in waves. That’s why I intend to be with you throughout this difficult journey.”
  • “Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take your time and know that you have my full support.”
  • “I recall how much time you two spent together. You were virtually inseparable. May all your wonderful memories comfort you during this heartbreaking time.”

let love be your greatest source of support

  • “Thinking of you and your family as you celebrate the life of your beloved.”
  • “May your happy memories give you peace and comfort during this challenging time.”
  • “I am sharing in your sadness as you remember your loved one.”
  • “Praying for you during this difficult time. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.”
  • “Deepest condolences to you and your family for your loss.”
  • “Words cannot express how saddened we are to learn of your loss. Please take your time. We are all here for you.”
  • “My heartfelt sympathy to you and yours at this sad time.”
  • “Please accept my sincere condolences.”
  • “My heart breaks for you. I’m here to listen to any stories you may want to share about your loved one.”
  • “I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your mom, but I’m sure she was a special person because she raised an amazing human being: you. Wishing you peace and comfort during this unimaginable time.”
  • “Your dad’s amazing personality lives on through you. Sending you love during this difficult time.”
  • “There is no one in this world like your mother. She was a special person, and she will always be with you.”
  • “Your mother will forever remain in our hearts and memories.”
  • “Your father was such an inspiration in my life —I’ll never forget the valuable lessons he taught me.”
  • “Nothing I can say will take away the pain you’re experiencing. Just want you to know that I care about you, and I share in your sadness.”
  • “May you look back on the precious memories and find peace in knowing that your father raised an amazing person.”
  • “A mother’s love is eternal. Hold on to that infinite love and let it be your guiding light.”
  • “I will always cherish the wonderful memories I have with your dad. He will be forever missed.”
  • “From what I’ve heard, your mother was a phenomenal woman. What good memories you must have. Lean on them to remind you of the joy she brought into your life”
  • “I’m a firm believer that when we lose someone close to us, like a father, they continue to live on through us and give us unbelievable strength. They’re so connected to us that they become a part of us.”

mother and son embracing each other at home

  • “Love never dies. Your wife’s love for you is everlasting.”
  • “Your husband was such a wonderful man. He was also an outstanding partner who will live in our hearts and memories forever.”
  • “No words can express how sorry I am for the loss of your wife. I didn’t know her personally, but I know how much you loved her, and I am here for you.”
  • “I know your husband must’ve been an amazing man because you always beamed with pride whenever you spoke of him. Sending you an abundance of love.”
  • “It was such a privilege and honor to work with your wife. She was an incredibly smart and thoughtful woman. May her memory live on forever.”
  • “I’ll always admire the love shared between you and your husband. You shared a one-of-kind bond that can never be broken.”
  • “I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved partner. You complemented each other like no other couple I know. May your precious memories bring you comfort.”
  • “I was incredibly saddened to hear about the passing of your dear wife. She was always so thoughtful and kind. She will truly be missed.”
  • “Your partner was such a special person. They will live in my heart forever.”
  • “Someone who shared so much life with you will always be a part of you. Bonds like yours are forever.”
  • "Your sister/brother was such an important part of your life, and her/his loss is felt deeply by so many. Please accept my sincerest condolences."
  • "Your sister/brother will always be remembered for the amazing person she was. May her/his memory bring you comfort and peace."
  • "Your sister/brother's spirit will live on through all the lives she/he touched. She/he was an incredible person and will be greatly missed."
  • "Losing a sibling is never easy, but please know that you have a friend in me who will always be there for you."
  • "Please know that you are in my dearest thoughts and prayers. I hope that you find comfort in the memories you shared with your sister/brother."
  • "Your sister/brother's memory will always live on through the love she/he shared with others. May her/his light continue to shine on through you."
  • "I was both shocked and saddened to hear about the loss of your brother/sister. She/he was an incredible friend and I know the best sibling anyone could ask for. Please accept my sincerest condolences for your loss."
  • "Hearing about your sister/brother’s unexpected passing has left me heartbroken for you. No one is ever prepared to say goodbye under such tragic circumstances. Stay strong and lean on loved ones who can offer comfort during this unimaginably painful time. You are not alone."
  • "The world has lost a good man, and you have lost a brother. This is a loss for all of us, but the grief and sorrow that you feel are the deepest and most poignant and personal. Please reach out if there's any way we can help."
  • "I didn't know your sister, but I'd like to know more about her. If you ever want to remember her or share, I would like to hear about who she was and your times together."

two women hugging one another

  • "There are no words that can express the depth of sorrow I feel for your loss. Your precious daughter/son's memory will forever remain in our hearts."
  • "From our family to yours, we cannot tell you how much we are going to miss (insert child's name). She/he was truly an incredible child that we feel honored to have known."
  • "I pray that as the months and years pass, you find peace in the beautiful memories you created together as a family. She will live on in your hearts."
  • "I so appreciate you opening up to me about your miscarriage. I know I can't do anything to make this better, but I am here for you for whatever you need at anytime."
  • "The loss of a child is a pain that words cannot heal. I offer my heartfelt condolences and hope that the cherished moments you shared will bring you some comfort."
  • "Although I never met (insert child's name), I've heard just how incredible she/he was. I hope you do not hesitate to reach out for anything that you need during this time.
  • "I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. Please know that my heart aches for you and your family during this unimaginable time of grief."
  • "During this time of grief, may you find solace in the love and memories you shared with your son/daughter. Her/he spirit lives on in the lives she/he touched."
  • "Your daughter/son had an incredible impact on the world in his short time here. She/he will always be remembered and cherished."
  • "I offer my deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved daughter/son. Her/his time with us was too short, but her/his impact was immeasurable."

Headshot of Karla Pope

Karla Pope is a longtime writer, editor and blogger with nearly two decades of editorial experience. She’s written for a variety of outlets including Good Housekeeping , Woman’s Day , People , Parade , BET.com. WebMD and more. Her coverage includes entertainment, beauty, lifestyle, parenting and fashion content. If she's not exploring New York City with her two young children, you can find her curled up on the couch watching a documentary and eating gummy bears. 

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The Mystery of Grief: Writing into the Loss

This keynote address will take place in Jacksonville, Florida, during the 2024 Restorative Chaplaincy Conference.

When we lose loved ones, writing can be a powerful tool for helping us remember them, helping us re-encounter the world without them, and helping us re-know ourselves as the loss transforms us. Together we’ll read poems about grief and talk about them, we’ll have chances to do our own writing, there will be optional time for sharing what we wrote, and we will have time to reflect on the effect writing has on us. The poems we read and write won’t be able to hold all the feelings, but they will offer us a way to connect with the lives and deaths of our loved ones, to express our anguish and love, and to explore the landscape of our hearts. Participants will leave with several simple phrases to use when first meeting a blank page, ideas for how to soften their inner critic, a bouquet of writing prompts they can use themselves or share based on poems in  All the Honey  (which they will receive at registration), and perhaps with a poem of their own.

This session will begin at 9 a.m. Eastern.

For more information, click the event link , or email Carmen Emerson:   [email protected]

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  • Timezone: America/Phoenix
  • Date: Sep 10 2024
  • Time: All Day

Southbank Marriot Riverwalk

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  22. The Mystery of Grief: Writing into the Loss

    The Mystery of Grief: Writing into the Loss. This keynote address will take place in Jacksonville, Florida, during the 2024 Restorative Chaplaincy Conference.. When we lose loved ones, writing can be a powerful tool for helping us remember them, helping us re-encounter the world without them, and helping us re-know ourselves as the loss transforms us.