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News: details revealed for new tom allen travel show.

More details have been revealed about the new show that comedian Tom Allen will be fronting for Channel 4 later this year.

In Tom Allen Goes To Town the stand-up will be travelling around the UK – as a Bromley boy it’s small town Britain he particularly loves. In this new special commissioned by Channel 4, Tom champions one of those unsung places: Wakefield, West Yorkshire.

Spending a week in Wakey – a city, not a town - Tom stays with a local family while seeing the sights and meeting some of Wakefield’s extraordinary characters, before putting on an end of week show to celebrate everything and everyone he’s encountered. Along the way, he takes in one of the world’s biggest rhubarb crops, explores Wakefield’s beautiful cathedral, visits one of the only drive-in fish and chip shops in the world and buys a round of Wakefield’s famous steak pies.

Allen is shaping up to be one of the faces of Channel 4. He is also set to delve into the advertising archives in a new four-part series called Tom Allen: Ad Man, celebrating 65 years of the nation’s best-loved and most outrageous TV adverts.

Tom Allen Goes To Town  was one of a raft of programmes announced as part of Channel 4's autumn schedule that also includes the first C4 series of Taskmaster following its acquisition from Dave. 

Update December 2020: After this programme was announced a number of people suggested that it sounded like comedian Mark Steel's Radio 4 series Mark Steel's In Town. Steel himself tweeted: "Some folk have noticed there's a TV show being made called Tom Allen Goes to Town, and gone ‘Do what? That’s Mark’s show’. But it’s being sorted, and don’t be rude to  @tomallencomedy  as he’s one of the loveliest people ever, and once he promised to teach me how to be gay."

After trailers started airing for this pilot over Christmas people started commenting again about the similarity and Steel tweeted: "So there's a show coming on Channel 4 called Goes to Town, made by  @rumpusmedia  in which a comic visits an 'unsung' town, then performs a show about it, in that town. In other news, I'm launching a panel show called '8 out of Ten Dogs', and an anagram show called 'Counterdown'."

Tom Allen Goes To Town, Wednesday, December 30, 9pm, C4.

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Tom Allen: ‘I was in Grenada when my dad died — my whole life changed’

The comedian and broadcaster on happy family holidays in unspoilt spain, his lonely solo trip to new york as a teenager and why crete is his happy place.

T om Allen, 40, is a comedian and broadcaster from London. He won the best newcomer award at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2005 and went on to support Sarah Millican, Romesh Ranganathan and Michael McIntyre on tour. He presents The Apprentice: You’re Fired and appears on Bake Off: an Extra Slice . His second memoir, Too Much , is out now. He lives in Bromley with his partner, the actor and presenter Alfie Garston.

My most treasured family holiday memories are of spending time in Javea, a coastal town near Valencia, Spain. It wasn’t as geared towards tourism as other places on the Costa Blanca, which we thought made it quite chichi. We would go to the local market on a Thursday and were big fans of the rotisserie chickens that you could buy around the port.

I was so self-conscious growing up that I couldn’t bring myself to go on any school trips abroad. It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that I went away with friends for the first time, starting with weekend breaks in Valencia and Nice. By the time I was in my thirties, I was holidaying in Center Parcs with the comedian Rob Beckett and his family. We would ride on the Wild Water Rapids, an amazing waterslide that goes through the surrounding pine forest. I loved it.

When I was 19, I was desperate to go to New York but didn’t know anyone there, so I stayed with my dad’s cousin in Philadelphia. I took the Greyhound bus to New York, booking myself into a single room at the Gershwin youth hostel. My mother had tried to instil a sense of terror in me, believing I would be a victim of organ harvesting and wake up without my kidneys. I, meanwhile, had this idea that I would be snapped up by New York society in a Dorothy Parker-style whirlwind adventure. The reality was that I found it difficult to talk to anyone — I was a teenage, closeted boy from Bromley who was the opposite of Samantha from Sex and the City . I found myself lonely and depressed, wandering around museums. Later on in life, I got good at having a relationship with myself, but back then, it was far from the musical glamour of 42nd Street , especially when I went to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art and a homeless man threw a can of lager at me.

I’ve always had a sense of foreboding leaving my parents. As a teenager, I wouldn’t go to parties in case something bad happened to them in my absence. Post-pandemic, I was in my first relationship and, following a tough couple of years, we decided to go on holiday to Grenada. Before we left, I went to my parents’ place for Sunday lunch and my dad offered to drive me home. I told him there was no need and gave him a hug. I texted him before I got on the plane and, as we made our way to the beach on our first day, I thought it was strange that he hadn’t responded.

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A storm was approaching so we returned to the hotel and I saw a missed call from my parents. As I rang them back, the rain was thrashing down and thunder was rumbling in the bay. My brother picked up the phone and told me that my dad had died suddenly of a heart attack. Suddenly, my whole life changed. The experience was like an awful prophecy and confirmed my worst fears. When I visited Tenerife the following year, I called my mum every five minutes to check she was all right.

When it came to celebrating my 40th birthday earlier this year I decided to revisit somewhere I had been at my happiest — Crete. I’d last been in 2018, when I went on holiday with Brigitte, my best friend from school. Her dad had lent us his house in Heraklion and we went to some nice restaurants, ate fruit for breakfast and drove around in the most relaxed way.

Once when I was working in Los Angeles, I treated myself to the cheapest room at Chateau Marmont.The furniture was bought from gothic stately homes in the 1920s and 1930s when they were selling off their wares, so it feels very European. There was some headed writing paper, with my name printed underneath, on the desk. I thought that was really quite something and I imagined Katharine Hepburn writing to Cary Grant inviting him around for dinner. Then at breakfast they shoved me behind a tree so I didn’t see any A-listers.

I did a gig on a gay Mediterranean cruise about ten years ago. It was the most tremendous experience — what I had been looking for when I went to New York. It wasn’t just about being among gay people — there was a lovely mix of different age groups and backgrounds. An older couple, who had just been legally allowed to marry, were celebrating their honeymoon. It was a genuinely unbridled, joyful time.

Tom Allen is touring the UK with his show Completely until June 2024 (tomindeed.com)

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NEWS... BUT NOT AS YOU KNOW IT

Inside Tom Allen’s private life including ‘Northern Irish TV royalty’ relative

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Comedian and television presenter Tom Allen has been a beloved presence on our screens for some time.

But the 40-year-old’s fame is only set to soar as he fronts his first documentary for the BBC My Big Gay Wedding .

Tom, who is in a relationship with Alfie Garston, is not arranging his own nupitals but is acting as a wedding planner for a gay couple for the one-off show.

The programme is being aired to mark the 10th anniversary of the law legalising same-sex marriage  coming into force in England and Wales.

The fact that same-sex couples couldn’t get married here just 10 years ago means we should never be complacent about the progress we’ve made and so it’s only right to celebrate it thoroughly,’ Tom said.

‘I’m looking forward to making this joyous celebration of love and gay marriage, or garriage as I like to call it.’

Naturally, the 60-minute feature has increased interest in Tom’s own personal life.

Here is everything we know about the TV personality – including his famous relative.

Where has Tom Allen appeared on TV before?

Tom is best known for hosting The Apprentice: You’re Fired and as the former presenter of Bake Off: The Professionals before Stacey Solomon replaced him.

His other TV credits are numerous and include presenting Cooking with the Stars with Emma Willism Big Brother’s Big Mouth and Live at the Apollo.

A frequent guest panel shows, Tom has competed on shows including Richard Osman’s House of Games, QI, Hypothetical, Celebrity Catchphrase and The Crystal Maze.

Tom has also worked as an actor and had smaller roles in film Tamara Drew opposite Gemma Arterton and Starter for 10 alongside Benedict Cumberbatch and James Corden.

Who is Tom Allen’s partner?

Tom is in a relationship with 36-year-old Alfie and the couple live together in Bromley.

According to Alfie’s LinkedIn, he works as a freelance host and performer for the Walt Disney Company and was previously an actor for the Glad Rags Production Company.

Like Tom, Alfie has also dabbled in TV and has been a runner for leading production company Fremantle.

https://www.instagram.com/p/C3V5ZMHMMVa/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=5e866f26-c0a6-46d9-9cb9-21465c3e346f

It’s not known how long Tom and Alfie have been together but they were first pictured publicly at Jonathan Ross’ Halloween party in 2022.

Alfie is thought to be Tom’s first boyfriend. In 2019, he told iNews he had never been in a relationship.

‘I used to think that was a bit of a scandal in itself, an unusual thing,’ he said of his single status. ‘But I’ve met more and more people who are like that. There are people who find it very easy to get into relationships and I’ve always just not.

‘Maybe that’s why I like doing stand-up. I have people around me who I love, but ultimately, when you stand up there, you stand up there on your own. So I suppose it lends itself to quite a solitary life.’

The following year Tom told The Guardian he had found it ‘impossible’ to have a ‘meaningful’ long-term relationship.

Tom explained: ‘I, for one, have never been in love and so I feel, “Oh, that’s something  else  I can’t join in with”.’

How is Tom Allen related to Gloria Hunniford?

Tom discovered he was related to presenter Gloria on the ITV series DNA Journey. two years ago.

The show revealed they are cousins through his mother’s maternal line with Gloria, 83, exclaiming that she was ‘so shocked’ by the news.

Several months later Tom appeared on Lorraine where he spoke about his newly discovered connection.

Recalling the moment he found out Gloria was a cousin, he said: ‘I got this text message saying that I was related to Irish TV royalty and I thought, “Well there’s not many options with that really other than Graham [Norton] or Gloria.” But I was still surprised.’

Gloria then joined via video link from the Loose Women studio and called Tom ‘the loveliest cousin that I’ve just discovered’.

She continued: ‘When somebody says to you on a TV programme we’ve discovered a cousin of yours and he is very well known, you’re like “Who could it be?” Well it turned out to be you Tom.

‘I’m so thrilled and I know we’re going to meet up with your mum soon because your mum comes from Northern Ireland and I’m very much looking forward to that.’

Big Gay Wedding with Tom Allen airs tonight at 9pm on BBC One.

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RIP TOM ALLEN: A MAN WHO LOVED LIFE!

Tom Allen was born in Tucson, Arizona on September 11th, 1946, and passed away peacefully in Scottsdale on April 22nd, 2024. Tom met Norma, the love of his life while attending Brigham Young University. After graduating with a degree in History, Tom and Norma moved back to Tucson, planning to attend law school. Tom took a part-time job at Mills-Touchè, a men’s store where he shopped, and was so passionate about clothing and fantastic at selling it that they offered him a full-time position.

In 1975, Tom and Norma moved their small but growing family to Phoenix where Tom would be the General Manager of the new Mills-Touchè store in Biltmore Fashion Park. In addition to managing and buying for Mills-Touchè during the late 1980s and 1990s, Tom was also a wholesale rep for Majer slacks and Jacobs & Roberts neckwear.

After Mills-Touchè closed its doors in early 2002, Tom played a lot of golf, one of his many passions, for about six months while deciding what he would do next. During this golf tour, Jackson La Baer and Greg Eveloff asked Tom to come to work at The Clotherie . It didn’t take long for Tom and Greg to become best friends; they remained so until Greg’s devastating and untimely passing.

Tom loved the clothing business, loved going to work each day, and loved the lifelong friendships he made over the years. He will be greatly missed by Norma (his wife of 54 years), five children, nine grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and many, many friends. Here, some thoughts from a few of them:

From Tom Simon, who worked with Tom at The Clotherie: “We worked together at The Clotherie and did most of the buying together. If you didn’t know Tom Allen well, he might at first come across as a grumpy old man but you’d soon find out, as I did when I travelled with him, that he was a real sweetheart: very generous, super knowledgeable. We first bonded over music: we both loved alternative country and singer/songwriter tunes. We took 20-30 trips together over the years and I never realized how hard it must have been for him to run around once the Parkinson’s got worse. He never complained; he was such a great guy. I’m now in the space where The Clotherie used to be, and I think of him every day.”

Recalls Bill Puckett, a friend for several decades: “I was a rookie salesman, new on the road, and Tom was ‘the man’ in Phoenix. He was, most importantly, a man of faith, a shining example of a family man who worked hard for his employers–Mills-Touche– for many years. As a buyer, he was that rare merchant who treated every dollar of his employers’ money as if it were his own. He was a quality guy who gave the business 100 percent: he bought what he thought was right for the store, regardless of who was selling it to him. So often today, you walk into a store, see so much of a certain brand, and say ‘X must be good buddies with so-and-so…’ Not Tom: you had to earn your stripes with Tom. He was the consummate professional: always doing what was best for the store, always honoring the store owners.

“Tom was also a guy very comfortable in his own skin. He was unpretentious, never affected or phony; he was just Tom, respected by so many! When I’d come to the store to sell him, it was all business. It wasn’t til we’d go out to lunch, always at the same place, that the fun would start. He had a very dry wit and an incredible sense of humor: we laughed a lot.

“Tom’s legacy will surely be his son Ben, who’s in the business like his dad (VP of Sales at Hagen) and is proud to introduce himself as Tom Allen’s son. Both quality guys, both first-class individuals.”

From Jeffrey Roberts at European Fashion Group: “I don’t think I’ve seen Tom since before Covid. I didn’t realize how quickly the last few years have gone by. He always played golf on Wednesdays and if he was short on the foursome, he’d give me a call. He loved playing and we always had lunch after. A couple of times, I remember, we played 36 holes, gluttons for punishment.

Tom was not verbose, but he had a quick wit and a dry sense of humor. He had a quiet way about him and was always honest and kind. I really enjoyed those Wednesday golf games and realize now that our camaraderie was much more than business.”

Jim McKenry at The Bird Dog Group sums it up: “Tom was the consummate clothier. He was a pleasure to talk to, learn from, and be around. I will miss talking to him about clothing and golf. The menswear industry has lost a good one.”

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Films & Videos

As well as creative blog and book projects, I used to do quite a bit of filmmaking, even winning some awards in the process. While my newer videos can all be found on my YouTube channel , here’s a selection of the past work I’m most proud of.

Karun / 2014 / 15′

A source-to-sea misadventure along Iran’s longest river.

In the spring of 2014, Tom Allen and Leon McCarron set out to follow Iran’s longest river, the Karun, by human powered means. Their aim was to go beyond the politics and explore the culture and geography of this most misunderstood of nations – and have a great adventure doing so. But despite Tom’s deep personal ties to Iran, they found that cultural differences run deeper than they’d realised. And when the once-calm waters of the Karun turn nasty, they wonder if they’ve bitten off more than they can chew…

Official festival selections : Nissan Adventure Film Festival 2015, Edinburgh Mountain Film Festival 2015, Sheffield Adventure Film Festival 2015, UK Adventure Travel Film Festival 2015.

Awards : People’s Choice, Edinburgh Mountain Film Festival 2015.

The Original Beer Can Stove Video / 2013 / 8′

Probably the most watched video I’m ever going to make.

In 2013, I casually filmed a friend making a clever little camping stove, using nothing but a beer can and a pocket knife. After editing and uploading it to Vimeo, I completely forgot about it until I came back a few months later to discover it had gone viral via Lifehacker . It’s been viewed almost 4 million times since. The internet is weird.

Janapar: Love, on a Bike / 2012 / 79′

A true love-story, filmed over four years in thirty-two countries by one man on a bicycle.

More than half a decade in the making, Janapar: Love on a Bike is a feature-length directorial debut for James W Newton who worked closely with Tom Allen as he captured every aspect of life on the road. The film was cut from over 300 hours of material shot in 32 countries and features an original score by award-winning composer Vincent Watts. Janapar ’s World Premiere was held at the 20th Raindance Film Festival in September 2012.

Official festival selections : Boulder Mountain Film Festival 2013, Kendal Mountain Fest 2013, Graz Mountain Film Festival 2013, ZagrebDox 2013, Bansko Mountain Film Festival 2012, Adventure Travel Film Festival 2013, Sheffield Adventure Film Festival 2013, Sofia MENAR Film Festival 2013, New York Bicycle Film Festival 2013, Transatlantyk Festival Poznan 2013, Quais Du Depart 2013 in Lyon, Curieux Voyageurs 2014 in St. Etienne, Hip Trip Travel Film Festival 2014 in Bucharest, and many others.

Awards : Best Exploration & Adventure Film at the 62nd Trento Mountain Film Festival 2014, Spirit of Adventure Gold Award at Sheffield Adventure Film Festival 2013, the Dr. Michael J Hagopian Award for Best Documentary at the Pomegranate Film Festival 2013 in Toronto, and Best In Show at the Adventure Travel Film Festival 2013.

Letter from Lapland / 2011 / 2′

A glimpse of life on the road in an Arctic Scandinavian winter.

In January 2011, Tom decided he wanted to know whether or not it was possible to travel by bicycle in the depths of winter. With daytime temperatures rarely rising above ‑10°C and with night-time temperatures plummeting to ‑30°C and below, Tom cycled and camped his way 1,000 miles north from the Norwegian capital of Oslo to the Arctic Circle in Sweden and beyond. This is the video postcard he sent home.

Ride Earth in Outer Mongolia / 2011 / 4 x 10′

A four-part ride across the roadless steppes of Mongolia.

In 2010, old friends Tom and Andrew reunited to take mountain biking to its logical conclusion: a six-week ride across the world’s most sparsely-populated nation. Is it possible to use the bicycle as a mode of transport in a country without roads, in which half the population are tent-dwelling nomads, and where it’s possible to ride for days without seeing a single settlement? Tom’s first filmmaking project as a producer-director aims to find out.

Latest posts about my films and videos:

Some thoughts, as the Beer Can Stove video goes viral

Posted on 

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At the time of writing, the video above has been played 1,311,131 times. Needless to say, when Armen and I popped out to buy a couple of cans of Kozel for this film, we were not expecting this to happen. It’s been fun to watch the statistics over the last few days. It’s also been […] Continue reading →

The Cycle Traveller Who’s Going Nowhere (Plus, Upcoming Screening Events)

You know what I love most about this fantastic little film? (Do watch it.) It’s the fact that what our protagonist has unwittingly done is exactly the same as embarking upon a really long bike trip. The only difference is that he never leaves his home city. (But then if life on the road is less about leaving […] Continue reading →

How This 2‑Minute Clip Won The ACA’s Bicycle Travel Video Contest

This year I was asked to be a judge for the Adventure Cycling Association of America’s first Bicycle Travel Video Contest. Like many of the other judges (whose number included Dom, Alastair, Friedel & Andrew, Russ & Laura, Michelle, and Ryan), I watched a lot of videos that were kind of OK. I watched a few […] Continue reading →

Highly Embarrassing Outtakes/Bloopers From Janapar

If you’ve enjoyed the Janapar deleted scenes series I’ve been running over the last couple of weeks (here’s the first one, in which I faceplant into some concrete), I’ve got a little bonus for you — a comedy “outtakes reel” of the most embarassing footage I wish I’d never given to the editor in the first place. […] Continue reading →

From The Cutting Room Floor #4: Cycling from Aswan, Egypt, to Wadi Halfa, Sudan

This scene recounts all the chaos of a classic experience which all who head down Africa’s east route will negotiate: the weekly ferry crossing of Lake Nasser, from Aswan (of Dam fame) in the south of Egypt to the tiny port of Wadi Halfa in northern Sudan. Deep within the historic region of Nubia, this […] Continue reading →

‘There used to be no happy stories about queer people’: Comedian Tom Allen on changing the narrative with his show Big Gay Wedding

C omedian Tom Allen has reflected on the erasure he faced as a young gay man ahead of the release of his BBC documentary Tom Allen’s Big Gay Wedding , which celebrates the 10-year anniversary of the same-sex marriage act in England and Wales.

In the documentary, the comedian transforms into a wedding planner, with just 10 weeks to organise nuptials for a gay couple from Brighton called Adam and Dan.

Allen, 40, enlists the expertise of contacts from his star-studded phonebook, including Strictly Come Dancing and Bake Off star John Whaite for help with the cake, Oti Mabuse for the choreography on the big day and “Murder On the Dancefloor” singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor for the entertainment.

But between the menu planning, cake tasting and suit fittings, Allen traces the history of same-sex marriage legislation in England and Wales to mark the anniversary of the Same-Sex Couples Act, which was passed on 17 July 2013, with the first marriages of same-sex couples taking place on 29 March 2014.

The comedian speaks to LGBT+ activist Peter Tatchell, comedian and activist Sandi Toksvig, and campaigners Lynn Sutcliffe and Sarah Hews, who made headlines in 1992 for presenting themselves at Westminster Registry Office to be married.

Allen looks back on the plight of same-sex couples, and reflects on his own disbelief that same-sex marriage would ever become legalised, after growing up as a young man in Margaret Thatcher’s Britain.

In an interview with The Independent , Allen, who was born in 1983, said that growing up in the era of the former PM’s Section 28 legislation influenced how he felt represented in society. (The 1998 Local Government Act banned local authorities and schools from “promoting homosexuality”.)

“It was very painful... [Section 28] sort of eradicated us and erased us,” he said. “We weren’t seen, we weren’t talked about in schools and we weren’t talked about on the television either.”

Allen said that he felt “riddled with shame and pain, and real anguish” growing up as gay and lived with a “real fear” of how he would be treated when he came out.

“I wasn’t sure if I would be brave enough to do that. I couldn’t imagine a world where I would... It was wrought with unhappiness.”

In the documentary, as Allen meets queer activists behind the campaign for same-sex marriage in England and Wales, clips are shown of politicians standing up in parliament and arguing against that prospective legislation. In one particular clip that is used several times in the documentary, an MP declares that marriage should only be between a man and a woman.

Allen said he found it difficult to look back at the footage.

“I found that very emotional,” he said. “The fact that even 10 years ago, politicians were standing up, and pronouncing on what they thought of this legislation; what they thought of the idea of [same-sex marriage] – it’s very, very upsetting.

“That attitude in society was quite insidious. It was very painful for a lot of people – all queer people felt the sense of difficulty. So it was very difficult to feel, never mind pride, but a sense of feeling OK. That’s how deep that exclusion was.”

Allen said his younger self never imagined that same-sex marriage would become legalised in his lifetime.

The comedian faced homophobic bullying and abuse in school, even before he had come out.

“My school was homophobic and I was beaten up at school,” he said. “Even though I wasn’t out, but someone just accused me of looking at them and it was really scary.”

“The idea of [same-sex marriage] was unimaginable and that sounds like I’m being grand, but really, it was because of feeling so excluded from society in our representation, in positive conversations. In my experience, there were no happy stories about queer people, really.”

Tom Allen’s Big Gay Wedding , however, is a dopamine hit of joy and silliness, led by Allen’s wry humour and chihuahua jokes.

On Adam and Dan’s wedding day, they had a 10-tiered cake and a special chair for their pug. And for their reception, they changed into bedazzled glitter jumpsuits.

“I was very keen that this wouldn’t be a po-faced, sort of earnest, documentary,” said Allen. “For me, I don’t like watching things like homework. We can talk about interesting and important things but we can do it with humour and joy. I don’t think a bit of laughter ever hurt anyone.”

Allen said that he hopes the documentary will celebrate the anniversary of the same-sex marriage milestone while also acknowledging that the campaign was never linear or straightforward.

“[I wanted] to show the complexity of this story and also to celebrate how it was about hope and what can be achieved if people worked together.”

“It was about activists who protested and fought for it for a long time. It was about politicians from all sides of the divide coming together to do something good. And I thought that was a very uplifting message – particularly [in] these polarised times when politics can feel cynical, tawdry, tired and exhausting.”

Big Gay Wedding with Tom Allen will air on BBC One and iPlayer at 9pm on Wednesday 27 March.

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Tom Allen: ‘At an early corporate gig, they opened the buffet in the middle of my set – everybody left’

The comedian on a grim festive job playing Bing Crosby, an air-kiss from Joanna Lumley, and his love of bread and wine

B orn in London, Tom Allen, 40, left school at 18 and pursued a career in comedy. In 2005, he won the So You Think You’re Funny standup competition and the BBC New Comedy award. In 2020, he published a bestselling memoir, No Shame , followed by Too Much in 2022. On television he presents The Apprentice: You’re Fired and co-hosts Cooking with the Stars. Since 2018, he has been a presenter on Channel 4’s The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice. His show Completely is on tour nationwide until June 2024. He lives in London.

When were you happiest? On holiday in Spain with my family about 20 years ago. Sad, but true.

What is your greatest fear? Isolation.

What is your earliest memory? Getting deliberately lost in the supermarket so I could hear my name being called out on a public address system.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Fearfulness.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Selfishness.

What was your most embarrassing moment? I did a corporate gig early in my career, and they opened the buffet in the middle of my set and everybody left.

Describe yourself in three words Uptight, smart and charming.

What do you most dislike about your appearance? My belly: I’ve eaten too much bread and drunk too much wine over the last few years, so none of my suits do up.

Who would play you in the film of your life? Patricia Routledge.

What did you want to be when you were growing up? An actor.

Would you choose fame or anonymity? Fame.

What was the last lie that you told? “Sorry, I’m late, the traffic was bad”, is the one I tell every day.

What do you owe your parents? A home for most of my adult life. I moved out two-and-a-half years ago when I bought my first home.

What or who is the greatest love of your life? Bread – hopefully my boyfriend doesn’t read that.

What does love feel like? Security.

What was the best kiss of your life? An air kiss from Joanna Lumley.

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What is the worst job you’ve done? I once had to sit on a sleigh and pretend to be Bing Crosby for a corporate party. I had to mime to White Christmas over and over again.

What has been your biggest disappointment? Not understanding myself until I was in my 30s.

When’s the last time you changed your mind about something significant? Recently about Just Stop Oil. I used to think they were going about things in the wrong way, but now I think they’re right.

How often do you have sex? Once every Whitsun.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life? A wig.

What keeps you awake at night? The fear of nightmares.

How would you like to be remembered? The greatest athlete we never knew we had.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you? Never save anything for best.

• The Q&A

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